Love Thy Neighbor
by ExecutiveShrimp
Summary: AU, 2x1: Duo's life gets turned upside down when the house next to his is sold. The new neighbor exposes Duo to a lot of new feelings but Duo's strict, religious upbringing makes him resist them. He stubbornly denies that what he is feeling could be love.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's note: Let me just start by saying that this story is AU and therefore I reserve the right to make the characters OOC, even though I, sadly, do not own them. I think I've been pretty true to their GW characters for almost 415.000 words in Warheads and I just want to branch out a little and explore different personalities, but of course could not let go of my favorite two boys, whom I think should be together in every alternate universe :)**

**And on the note of: it's time for change, I didn't just branch out, I also went out a limb. I prefer writing first person stories (I-perspective) because it always feels like the main character is telling you the story. But I get plenty of opportunities to do that, so for Love Thy Neighbor I thought I'd give the third-person (he-perspective) an honest effort. Keep in mind that this does not mean the story will be told by the all-knowing-author, you will still only get to go inside one person's head. Because what fun would life be without mystery and surprises? :P However, this does remind me I should probably give the switching POV a go too in a story one day. I hope everyone will enjoy this new perspective, I talked to my sister and she said that as soon as she comes across a first-person story she runs away screaming, so perhaps more of you out there will be able to appreciate this change. Be sure to let me know :)**

**Finally: I know it might be annoying that at the moment I'm posting all these first chapters for new stories, you might want me to just focus on one and write more for that, but please bear with me :P I have been diligently working on Warheads for almost two years, during which time a lot of new stories were being cooked up in the dark recesses of my mind and finally being able to start working on them, is too irresistible. I sincerely hope that I will be able to manage and divide my time and inspiration evenly. I can't promise that all stories will be updated with equal frequency, but I can promise that I will try my hardest :)**

**I gave this story Rating M, it probably won't fully live up to that rating till the end of story really gets going, but I just figured it would be fair to let everyone know what they are getting into, rather than giving it a lower rating for now and then all of a sudden changing it when the heat is turned on :P**

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><p><strong>Love Thy Neighbor<strong>

**Prologue**

Activity drew him to the bay window at the front of the house, overlooking the yard, the street and the surrounding houses. He sipped his scolding hot coffee cautiously, as curiosity drew his gaze outside. A black SUV had stopped at the curb in front of the house to the right.

The house had been on sale for a long time, with little interest. The sign in the front yard has seen all possible season changes by now. And in this small, suburban place, no story was ever kept a secret.

The previous owner had been an old, cheap man, not devoted to spending money on maintenance work. When he had gotten too old and plagued by illness, his children had placed him in a retirement home, but didn't have the heart to put the house up for sale. Turned out the old bird managed to squeeze four more years out of his life before his time finally did come. Only after his death, months after, could the children bring themselves to part with the house and its accompanying memories. Of course, by then, the house had been empty for almost five years.

From what he had gathered during a brief conversation with the appointed realtor, the wooden paneling was ruined, the entire porch was ready to cave, all windows and doors were rotten, the kitchen was outdated beyond charm and the old man had made the mistake of gluing the ugly grey carpet to the hard wood floors underneath.

It was a special project for a special kind of person with a special kind of pocket book.

This special person had yet to come.

Emerging from the SUV was said realtor. He had a cup of to-go coffee in one hand, something else - unrecognizable - in the other. He left the engine running so there was no need to bother going outside for superficial chitchat, his visit would be brief.

His gaze followed the nicely suited-up realtor as he treaded precariously over the uneven, cobble stone path. Halfway up to the house, he stopped, at the sign in the lawn just off the path.

Maybe he is taking the sign out, taking the house off the market for a while, he thought, taking another sip of his coffee.

The realtor held his cup of coffee by the edge of the cup between his teeth, freeing both hand to do something with the sign, but there was no knowing what. The sign faced the street and the front of it could not be viewed from the bay window. Whatever he did, he was done quickly, he took the cup out of his mouth, appeared to be admiring his handiwork for a second or two and then he treaded back, climbed into his car and drove off.

With the early morning lacking any other stimulus to satisfy his curiosity, he walked outside. He stepped off his sturdy porch and walked to the front yard of the house on the right. Even though he was only wearing a thin cotton T-shirt and sweatpants, he wasn't cold. It was going to be the first comfortably warm day of spring, after a mild but chilly winter. Besides, his coffee protected him from any cold that might seep in through his bare feet.

Once in position, he looked at the sign.

There was a moment of surprise, because some things you just get so used to, you don't expect they will ever change, or are even capable of undergoing change.

A sticker was slapped across the sign, obstructing the words "FOR SALE" that had been there for so long but were no longer important.

"SOLD", including exclamation mark, in bold, white on black letters, it read.

"Morning, Duo!"

Duo looked over at the neighbor from one house over. He stood in his neatly pressed business suit, by his shiny sedan.

"Good morning, Bryce." He offered in return.

Bryce just stood by his car, looking a little clueless and perplexed. "What are you doing out in your PJ's, neighbor?" He questioned with a goofy smile.

Duo nodded at the house. The house that had been like a thorn in the eye of the neighborhood, with faded beige shade, overgrown by plants and one foot tall grass that bared no resemblance to the neatly mowed lawns of the surrounding homes. "It's sold." He called back.

"You're kidding!" Bryce looked up at the house, obviously not understanding who would want it. And it was a big house too, rotting away or not, it would have cost whomever bought it a pretty penny. He voiced his thoughts: "Who would buy this?"

Duo shrugged, looking up at the house himself, wondering the same thing. It seemed like such an insurmountable challenge, no doubt full of nasty surprises.

"Well, this should be good." Bryce commented, opening the door of his car. He got in, closed the door and rolled the window down. "At least something will finally be done about that monstrosity. Brooke was about to petition the Neighborhood Association to have it torn down."

"How is she by the way?" He wasn't particularly interested in knowing, but it was polite to ask and they were nice people, there was no reason to be overtly disinterested.

Bryce smiled. "Good, really good. But Jenny just started teething, so, you know... it's not all fun and games."

Duo smiled bitterly. "It never is, Bryce, it never is."

Bryce nodded, but kept the smile of a man who has been faced with little adversity in his lifetime. "I'll see you around, neighbor." He slowly let the car roll out of the driveway and drove away, off to work. He was the CEO of some sort of big and self-proclaimed important firm. Duo wasn't really sure. It's not like Bryce never talked about his work, but his stories were so boring he never could help tuning him out mid-sentence. It were stories of a life Duo used to have, but not anymore and he was grateful for that. He didn't need to relive it through Bryce's words.

He did that with a lot of people, not paying attention to every detail they spouted, his thoughts just drifting off. Lately though, his thoughts haven't been very inspired, just an incoherent mess that needed untangling. If only he knew how.

He looked back up at the house. It had a menacing and gnarly look to it, with the paint chipping, the roof of the porch sagging and the branches of a dead tree reaching for it. He inwardly echoed his neighbor's sentiment: Who would buy this?

It would be interesting to have a new energy in the street. The residents in this dead-end street hadn't changed for as long as he had lived here, nearly nine years, with the exception of the old, grumpy man being dragged to a retirement home. That had been quite the scandal, good for weeks of over-the-picket-fence talk.

It would probably be another couple, wanting a house in a street where there children could safely play. He guessed they wouldn't have children yet, judging by the state of the house. It would be irresponsible to bring young children into a situation like that. Aside from the old widower at the end of the street, Duo was the only single guy, living all by himself in the big, suburban home. His neighbors pitied him and rightfully so. He was lonely. His life was empty. He just spent his days wandering around the house, leafing through books, looking for inspiration that would enable him to fill his life with something, with anything. It was a desperate search, as of yet, without results.

Cradling his coffee in his large hands, soaking up the last of the warmth, he trotted back inside.

His own house was crisp and perfect. He had a lot of free time on his hands to do maintenance chores around the house. The paneling of the house was a clean white, he just repainted two summers ago. The front door was red and sheltered by a deep, Southern style porch that wrapped around the entire house. It made the ground floor on the inside a little darker, even on sunny days, but Duo liked that. It was cozy and protected and stayed cool even during the hottest days of summer. His living room was lined with floor to ceiling bookcases, the shelves carrying the weight of a collection that, over the years, had grown to include thousands of books. All the books in the living room he had read. The study, in a particularly dark and secluded part of the house, was stacked with unread books.

Upstairs was where all the light was kept. All rooms had big windows, the ones facing the landscaped backyard were extra big. The master bedroom was in the far left corner. One large window overlooked the spacious backyard of his own house, the other window overlooked the old house and its backyard. He mostly kept the drapes of that window closed.

The house next door was different. It was larger, to begin with. There might actually be usable space in the attic. It had two, independent porches, front and back. The roof of the back porch also served as the floor for the large balcony, overlooking the part dead, part overgrown backyard. The windows were all medium sized, not uncommon for older houses, with broken shutters flanking every last one of them. The paneling of the house was once - before Duo had moved into his own house - a light, mustard yellow, but all color had faded to a murky, dirty grayed beige tone and if the world would ever be completely quiet, you could probably hear the paint chipping off.

He had toyed with the thought of taking a look inside at the open house day, just out of curiosity. But he decided against it. The house just looked so unwelcoming. It seemed unsalvageable. It was dead and empty, it had no character, no soul. If Brooke had taken her proposal to the Neighborhood Association meetings, she would have surely gathered the majority of votes necessary to take it down. Probably the only reason why she didn't is because tearing it down and building a new house would result in more and longer construction noise than reconstruction. Probably...

After morning coffee and getting dressed for no particular reason, Duo sat down in his study and flipped open a new book. Sometimes he was too distracted by the thought of a new neighbor moving in to read, but he pushed his curiosity aside and stubbornly continued to read. Sometimes having to reread sentences two or three times over before his mind registered the words and their meaning.

Four weeks later, Duo's quiet morning routine of sipping coffee and deciding which book to read that day was interrupted by the hum and sputtering of the engine of a large pick-up truck pulling into the driveway of the old house.

The new neighbor would be the talk of the day. For many days to come.

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><p><strong>I know this is really short (uncannily short, coming from me). The chapters will get longer, but with this first chapter (I called it a prologue because it's mostly just an introductory chapter) I just wanted to set the mood and find my voice. I guess it's more a teaser chapter, or something, though I hate calling it that... -.- But I hope it has captured the interest of some of you, let me know :) I hope to be able to update soon :)<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**Frayedsoul: Thank you for yet again being the first to review :) I hope you will enjoy this update, let me know :)**

**Snowdragonct: I'm glad to see you are giving all my stories a chance, I really hope you will like this update. Thank you for reading and reviewing :)**

**CaramelAriana: Thank you, I hope you will continue to love it :P Please let me know :)**

**windwraith: Thank you for your great compliments. I really hope you will enjoy this story :)**

**Nikki: The story will definitely live up to it's M rating as it develops, I hope you will not be disappointed :P Let me know what you think of this update :) Thank you for reviewing as always!**

**Emilinia-Sama: I hope you will come to like the story. I understand your reservations, I have shared them with you, but I decided to give writing this story an honest effort anyhow and see how it pans out :) I too hope I will be able to maintain regular updates. I make no promises, concidering my busy schedule, but I will definitely try my hardest :) Thank you for reviewing!**

**Tigerlilye: Thank you for reviewing :) I hope you will like this update.**

**CircleKV12: I hope this makes up for the terribly short start ;) Feel free to let me know what you think. Thank you for reviewing :)**

**ffreeloader: I'm very glad to read you like my writings. I understand that it may be confusing to have all these different stories going on at the same time. Personally, I don't think it is affecting my writing, as the plots have already been laid out in relative great detail, so there is not a lot of room for mixing things up and it helps that because all except one are AU's, the characters are quite different and distinguished. Because I feel pretty confident about it, I will continue to spread my focus across the lot and hope to update them with frequency. I haven't had any similar complaints so far, so I think the other readers are fine with the variety, besides, not everyone reads the same stories. However, I understand your reluctance. You can add the stories to your "Alerts", that way you will be notified when a story is updated and, eventually, when a story is completed. I could email you but I'm afraid that by the time I finish these stories, I won't remember to, because it is obviously going to take a while. I hope you will at least be able to read and enjoy one of the stories I am in the process of writing :)**

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><p><strong>Author's note:<strong>

**It took me a little while, but here it is. For your enjoyment (I hope!)**

**As the religious aspect is being introduced in this chapter, I jus want to point out that none of the characters exactly represent my own thoughts about or beliefs in religion, nor do I intend to offend anyone who has either the same or drastically different opinions about religion than the characters. I'm also not saying any of the opinions that will make an appearance in this story are right or wrong. I hope you will be able to read and enjoy the story without feeling attacked.**

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><p><strong>Love Thy Neighbor<strong>

**One**

He lifted his hand and pushed the curtain aside. A streak of sunlight hit his face. The warmth of the sun replaced the cold light of the reading lamp he had pulled over his shoulder, aimed at the book in his lap. The window was small and the view through the small opening between the curtain was limited. All he could see was the old, faded red truck in the driveway of the neighboring house. Rust lined all the edges, the door of the passenger side was badly dented. There wasn't a single other car in the neighborhood that looked like that. On this street, the residents preferred neutral tones, fast sedans and safety-tested SUV's.

The new neighbor in the old truck.

It was pathetic how captivating this new presence was, but he wasn't alone in his curiosity. More neighbors had been secretively peeking through drawn curtains, discussing observations and judgments over white picket fences and accompanying the exchange of casserole recipes. Totally pathetic, but, he realized, that is just the way of world, the way of the human brain at least. People cannot accept novelty, people cannot accept mystery. Everything needs to be touched, studied, dissected and reduced to something that they understand and the answer better not stray too far from what the observer knows or acceptance is a step that is too hard to take.

It was a kind of curiosity-fuelled need for knowledge that he disliked in others, but with dismay observed within himself as well.

After all, there he sat, peeking through the side window of the house.

He closed the book. It wouldn't be read today, it would have to wait. He put it on the desk and replaced it with a notebook in his lap, flipping it open to a blank page. He released the curtain, needing both his hands to sift through the mess of papers on his desk to find a pen. Eureka, he thought, when he found it underneath his most recent receipt from the bookstore. He clicked it on but as soon as the tip of the pen touched the paper, he froze and lost all sense of victory. He thought he had something, he thought it had been on the tip of his tongue, but somewhere during his search for the pen, he must have dropped it and lost it somewhere in the chaos. He didn't bother to go looking for it.

He put the pen between the pages of the notebook and put the set back on the desk. He leaned back in his chair and reached for the curtain again.

His whole body went rigid with embarrassment when the new neighbor, standing by the tail end of the old truck, looked right at him. He lost his grip on the curtain and the sunlight disappeared.

Shit, he thought. Shit, how dumb must I look?

The hot feeling of his undoubtedly red face forced upon him memories of yesterday. Memories of their first meeting. He had looked dumb then too.

The old truck had been heard from a distance away, the old engine sputtering and struggling to schlep the weight of the vehicle up the slight incline of the driveway. Duo had walked over to the nearest window, his morning coffee cradled in his palms. Obviously, he had expected the new neighbor to be a little bit 'alternative', considering his choice of home, but he hadn't expected he would have to throw all his predictions out the window on the premise that they had been dead wrong.

He had put his cup of coffee aside for the time being and exchanged his sweatpants with a pair of jeans he had worn the day before and had carelessly tossed onto the living room couch. In front of the mirror in the hallway, while absentmindedly stepping into his shoes, he checked his reflection, smoothing some stray hairs and ensuring he looked presentable.

Whoever this new neighbor would be, he knew he had to be welcoming and there was no time like the present. He had never actually done the whole "hey, welcome to the neighborhood" routine from this end of the conversation before, since he had been the newest arrival to the street, but he had really appreciated the fact that the other residents took the time to introduce themselves. Not because he particularly liked the attention or had any intention of befriending them, but it showed that they were good, friendly people and he certainly didn't want there to be any doubt that he was good, friendly people too.

He had opened the front door and walked out. Just as he walked up to the driveway, the new neighbor got out of the old truck. Duo had been surprised to see he was alone, that was difference number two between what he had expected and what he actually observed. The first one being the dingy, used truck that looked painfully out of place.

The new neighbor had paused by the door of his truck to look up at the old house, his new house, paradoxically, his back facing Duo.

Walking up to him, Duo had taken in the appearance of the man. He was of unremarkable height, not tall, not short, with equally unremarkable brown, messy hair. He had a slim, lithe built that was accented by his dark, fitted jeans and an equally form-fitting light grey turtleneck. He had the sleeves casually rolled up and Duo had noticed a selection of colorful silicone bracelets on his arm, the ones associated with various charities or awareness campaigns. It was a positive observation, but again, something unexpected.

When he had stepped out of the lawn and onto the gravel driveway, the crunching of his footfalls had drawn the attention of the new neighbor.

He turned around to face Duo. At the sight of him he had instantly offered a friendly smile, his eyes slightly squinted in the brightness of the morning sun just reaching over the rooftops of the houses across the street.

Duo couldn't help but notice the man - younger than he had expected - was very attractive with an interesting, exotic edge to his features. His striking blue eyes had been a momentary distraction and Duo stumbled with his words before he successfully managed: "Hi, I'm Duo Maxwell. I guess we are neighbors." He had hated how awkward he had sounded.

"Hi, nice to meet you." The new neighbor had replied, walking away from his truck, closer to Duo. He reached out a hand and they shook hands. During the formal introductive gesture he said: "My name is Heero Yuy."

Another surprise. The neighborhood wasn't very culturally diverse and Duo hadn't expected a change to come in that regard for any time soon. He was relieved that he was wrong, some people could really use the exposure to knew cultures. Perhaps - probably - including himself.

"That's kind of an old truck. Do you have a thing for old?" Duo had felt like slapping himself as soon as the words resounded. It had sounded so terribly suggestive, especially considering the fact that he was older than Heero and they had never stopped shaking hands, oddly. "I mean, the truck and the house... " There is no saving this one, he had berated himself.

Heero's polite smile turned into a playful grin. "The truck isn't old. It's vintage. It has character and history. That, I like."

Duo finally managed to free his hand as casually as he could. "So, is that why you bought the house?"

"Yeah."

"Oh." He had glanced at the empty passenger seat of the truck. "Are you all by yourself?"

"Ahuh."

"Seems kind of big for just one person..." Duo had noted.

Heero nodded. "I only bought it to fix it up. When I'm done, I'll sell it to people who could use the extra space."

"For a pretty profit no doubt."

"I hope so."

Duo had looked back up at the house and had wondered out loud: "Are you going to be fixing it up all by yourself?"

Heero had followed his gaze to the house and then turned back with a confident smile. "Mostly, yes. For some stuff I'll hire help and I have a couple of friends coming over in the summer to lend me a hand."

"So you won't be staying for long?" Duo had been slightly disappointed that the house would inevitably end up changing owners again, sooner than expected. However, in the future, it would be revealed that this piece of information was the only thing that could console the neighborhood.

"Well, it's a big project. It's going to take me a couple of months and I'm in no rush." He had smirked up at Duo. "I hope to be done by the end of the summer."

He hadn't really known what to say to that. He wasn't sure if the timeframe was long or short for the attempted project. He had inched towards short, because Heero would mostly be doing the work by himself and Duo just couldn't help but judge him to be too young and too inexperienced. Yet Heero had portrayed himself with such confidence, it had been confusing.

Recognizing that the brief conversation had come to an awkward end, Heero had walked away from him, back to the truck. He opened the tail gate and ripped an olive green tarp away to reveal a couple of bags and toolboxes amongst other things. It hadn't been much. "It was really nice of you to come out to say hello." Heero had said as he started reaching for his things.

Duo had stood by idly, his hands in his pockets, unsure if he should give the conversation another attempt or if he should just give up and walk back inside and see if his coffee was still sufferable. "Yeah. Well, it's the right thing to do. We are going to be neighbors for a while after all. It is only right to be kind to your neighbors."

Heero had turned around at that, a strange, amused look on his face. He had said mysteriously: "I hope you will hold yourself to that." He had pulled something out of the back of the truck, it had looked like a sign, just a board nailed to a stake. He had kept the front of it angled away from Duo and in hind sight this had been deliberate.

"What's that?" Duo had curiously wondered.

Heero had only smiled in response as he walked the sign over to the cobble stone path. With some physical effort he pulled the SOLD sign out of the ground, putting it face down in the grass. He stuck the new sign into the grass, leaning his weight on the top of it to bury it further into the soil for stability. He had given the sign a pat and then had walked back over to the truck, swinging two duffel bags over his shoulder. The last thing he had said to Duo was: "I really hope we will get along. It was really nice meeting you, Duo." His voice had a comfortable, deep tone to it. One final smile and then he had walked up to his new house and closed the rotting door behind him.

And that was how he met the new neighbor in the old truck.

Duo resisted the urge to pull the curtain back again, too afraid Heero was still there. He couldn't help but be fascinated by Heero's rebellious confidence that had an inexplicable, youthful charm to it. He also couldn't help but be frightened by it. That kind of attitude could cause a lot of troubles, especially in such a conservative neighborhood. One couldn't help but wonder if it was all on purpose, if it was all meant to be provocative without any higher goal.

He closed his laptop that he had been using for a quick Google search and reached for the thick book again, his distracter of choice. He opened it on the page where he knew he had left off, but the story was alien to him, he didn't recognize any of the characters, couldn't remember any of the plot. It dawned on him that all morning his eyes had simply been following the letters while his mind had run amuck.

His ears perked when he heard the rumble and the sputter of the old truck as it backed out of the driveway. Duo walked out of his study and into his living room, in time to see the red truck drive off. He waited by the bay window, knowing he didn't have to wait long. He was hardly the only curious entity home during the day in this street.

Soon enough the dark green front door of the house across the street opened, as did the navy door of the house next to it. Two of his neighbors stepped outside and walked down their paths to the street where they met and exchanged words. They kept looking back in the direction of the old, hideous house, but Duo knew it wasn't the house they were looking at and discussing. Something much more eye catching - in a bad way - drew their attention.

His face went hot when one of the women caught him looking.

Busted, he thought.

She fervently waved him over.

With a sigh he went outside and crossed the quiet street to where the two women were standing. He tried casually: "Good afternoon, Terry. Relena."

The two looked at him with angry glares. Terry had her arms folded in front of her chest, Relena had her hands on her hips. They both looked flustered and indignant.

"Have you seen this?" Relena demanded, her honey blonde hair whipping around her face as she angrily nodded back at the old house, particularly, the sign in the lawn.

Duo awkwardly followed her gaze and sighed. He was as uncomfortable with it as they were, probably even more so, but he didn't want to start a nasty war. It wouldn't be right. "I was actually there when he put it up." He admitted, though he knew that would not ease the tension in the conversation.

"And you didn't feel compelled to tell him how inappropriate this is?" Terry stepped in. She looked disgusted. "My God, Duo, I have children!"

"They're not going to know what it means."

It was Relena's turn again. "It's not just about the sign Duo! It's about what the sign represents!"

"Freedom of speech?" He carefully tried.

She glared at him. "Really? A joke? Now?"

"Maybe we should convene a meeting with the Neighborhood Association? Make him take the sign down?" Terry thought aloud. "It has no place in this neighborhood. He is just using this house for some sort of demented political agenda."

"Look, I have nothing against gays," Relena clarified, "but I believe they should stick to their own kind and know their place. If he is so pro-gay, why didn't he just buy an apartment in the gay bar district in Jameson? It's bad enough that a city so close to our peaceful town even has a "gay bar district" but if they all live there and stay there, away from us, at least it will have a purpose."

Duo was baffled by her despising tone. Relena wasn't a particularly religious woman, so he wondered what made her so solidified in this belief. "Relena, I understand that you are not happy with this, but we mustn't turn to hate. We'll just have to tolerate it. He won't be here for that long anyway. Most importantly, just because he has that sign, doesn't necessarily mean he is... gay." He finished with a hushed tone. "He had all those charity bracelets on, it's probably just another cause to him, it doesn't have to be personal."

"Oh please. He is gay! And every second he is here will be a second too long." She argued. "And what will stop him from selling the house to another gay? Ugh! And it's such a waste too, he is so pretty..." She wined.

"Yeah." Duo agreed absentmindedly. He felt his palms instantly going clammy when he noticed the two young women were looking at him with questioning frowns. "I meant: Yeah, what's going to stop him from selling it to another homosexual."

The two ladies chuckled and Terry said: "Oh good, for a moment there we thought you thought he was pretty too." She playfully punched him.

Duo chuckled too, sheepishly. "Yeah, I was just messing with you."

"I wonder if he will be bringing lovers to the house..." Relena started again with her intolerant demeanor. "Pretty face like that, he is probably the whore of the fag community."

Duo bit his lip with regard to the fact that the same could be said about Relena in the straight community - if there was such a thing - with her heavily made-up face and exaggerated sway of her hips when any guy - literally any guy - was watching, to make sure that he would keep watching her. Instead, he just berated her. "Relena!"

Terry made a disgusted face. "I don't want my boys seeing him kiss anybody. They are in that monkey see, monkey do phase, he could turn them gay!"

"I doubt the process is that easy and straightforward." Duo tried to console her.

Relena laughed. "Straightforward! You get it?" She nudged Terry with her elbow. "Straight-forward."

Terry chuckled.

Duo smiled awkwardly. He hadn't really intended to make any sort of joke.

"You should really join us for dinner more often, Duo." Terry said once she had caught her breath. "You are such a hoot!"

Duo wasn't really eager to accept her invitation but he knew it was unspeakably impolite not to do so, so he replied: "I'd love to."

"Great, how about tomorrow?"

Duo was surprised by the immediate suggestion for a date. He had hoped that time would be allowed to pass, enough time for all parties involved to forget all about it. Obviously, he had no existing plans for tomorrow, they knew that too, so he agreed to come.

"Fantastic. Relena, you and Carlton are of course welcome too."

"Oh thank you, that would be great! As long as you don't invite the new neighbor."

The ladies laughed and Duo awkwardly joined in with a forced chuckle of his own.

The three of them froze when the red truck appeared again, too close for the driver not to have seen them. With it's effortful sputter the truck turned onto the driveway and came to a halt with a sharp screech.

"Shit." Terry muttered under her breath.

"Terry." Duo hissed. Especially coming from a mother of four he could never appreciate her foul language.

Heero got out of the truck and looked right at them as he shut the car door. Duo felt like he was struck by lightening.

"Shit, he's coming over." She continued with a mutter, looking extremely uncomfortable. She pulled the loose sides of her vest close, as if she was suddenly cold or felt exposed.

Once he had crossed the street, Heero gave them all a smile. "Hello. I'm Heero Yuy." He offered the two women a hand.

They couldn't not shake his hand, so they reluctantly did as they introduced themselves.

"It's really nice to meet you all." Heero said with a slight smile, but at the same time there was something in his eyes, something knowing.

Duo found it hard to believe the young man didn't feel that his presence was unwelcome. Terry and Relena made little effort to hide their contempt and discomfort.

"Duo, it's good to see you again." He said, looking at him; looking into him.

Duo swallowed as Heero stepped into his personal space with a kind smile and gentle eyes and even briefly lay his hand on his upper arm. Duo distinctly got the feeling he was being used by Heero to provoke a reaction out of the two glaring women. That rubbed him the wrong way, even though he recognized the women were wrong for judging him based solely on a sign in his front yard.

"You know what?" Relena suddenly exclaimed, startling all the others. "I am making this amazing birthday dinner and cake for Carlton. Duo, Terry, I could really use your help in preparations." She turned to Heero with an obviously fake smile. "Heero, I'd ask you too but you are probably busy moving your things."

"How considerate, thank you." His tone dripped of sarcasm that was offset by a convincingly polite smile.

Relena nodded and then walked off, back to her house. Terry followed her footsteps hurriedly. When the two of them noticed Duo wasn't trailing behind them, Relena called his name impatiently.

Feeling guilty for the new neighbor who was blatantly being shunned, Duo replied: "Uhm, sorry Relena, there is actually something I have to do." At the very least he could give the new neighbor the benefit of the doubt, even though he was getting the exact kind of vibe that confirmed Relena's accusation regarding his sexual deviation.

"Duo." She persistently gestured for him to come over.

"Sorry, Relena."

"Fine!" The two women disappeared into the house and Terry slammed the door shut behind her. They would no doubt be rushing to the nearest upstairs window to spy on them and gossip behind the glass pane.

"It seems not everyone is as kind to their neighbors as you are, Duo." Heero concluded with a smile. His voice was nice and smooth, but Duo was pretty sure he wasn't supposed to notice that.

"I'm sorry." After an uncomfortable, silent moment of hesitation, Duo added: "You are not exactly making it easy for them. I doubt you are not smart enough to know that you wouldn't be making many friends with that sign in front of your house."

Heero's polite smile slipped away and he replied with a serious, meaningful face: "The sign has never hindered real friendships. And those are the only ones that matter. I'm not interested in making any other kind of friends."

Duo shrugged and walked back over to his house. He heard Heero following him. He turned around and asked him challengingly: "How about making enemies? Did you ever think about that?" He was becoming agitated as it seemed increasingly likely that Relena was right. He had the feeling Heero would be provoking this state of mind more often during his stay - thankfully short.

Heero looked sideways, at the sign in his own yard. "I don't have to make enemies, Duo. Enemies will always be there and they will always find people like me. We have no choice but to be proud and dignified and hope someday they will respect us, at least for that." He nodded and started towards his own front door. "I'll be seeing you around, neighbor."

Duo was taken aback by his words. It sounded an awful lot like Heero had just confirmed Relena's and Terry's suspicion about what the sign represented. He watched him go, his heart was pounding. He was instantly hit with an intense feeling of nervousness that knotted up his stomach.

Duo sighed, conflicted by his feelings. He was sympathetic to the young man but he wasn't sure whether that was right or wrong, whether that was allowed or discouraged. The teachings were contradictory; his parents, the Bible and the local priest had agreed that to the neighbors, one must be kind and helpful, not just your literal neighbors, but everyone around you. Yet they also vehemently argued with the same breath that people like Heero were wrong and unfaithful, opposed all morality and there were only two choices. Fix them, or distance yourself from them.

Well, Duo thought, chewing on the inside of his cheek, therein lay the problem. The sign in the front yard made it pretty clear Heero had his mind made up and there would be no changing him. He was solidified in his own beliefs, misguided as they were and if there is one thing Duo knew, it's that belief is stronger than any other force. But creating distance was no more possible than fixing him appeared to be. After all, houses do not move.

He knew he just had to stand it. Heero's stay would be relatively brief anyway. Hopefully that was enough incentive to prevent the neighborhood from causing trouble. The street was occupied by particularly conservative people. All Republicans, he knew that for a fact, he was part of the local rally in support of the previous presidential campaign. And the Neighborhood Association was very hands on in protecting the integrity of the neighborhood as they saw fit. It seemed Heero had slipped through the filter.

Duo looked at the sign. The text was short but powerful. Just to make sure there had been no misunderstandings, he had searched the internet for the term and it meant exactly what he feared it meant. Something he had seen on the news or in the title of a newspaper article occasionally. He had always avoided paying attention to those reports. It was a sensitive and confusing subject and seemed to bring out the worst in people on both sides.

STOP PROP 8. The letters were rainbow colored and stood out on the black background of the sign.

During his brief search Duo had learned that the proposition aimed to ban gay marriage in the state after it had only recently been allowed. He found several heated articles on the matter arguing both sides with determination as both sides were equally certain of their own rights and beliefs and equally upset about being denied them. The texts had been accompanied by many pictures of angry and upset people, holding up similar "STOP PROP 8" signs in demonstration.

The thought that Heero was gay was greatly disturbing to Duo. Mostly because that left him unsure of how to interact with his new neighbor. Communication had always been issue for him, now it was only more difficult to find an appropriate way to handle himself.

He walked up to his towering bookcases and paused in front of the line of old, brown, leather bound books. Several editions of the Bible, which he had all read and all said the same. The answer was in there but it was an answer that left him feeling uneasy. He knew religion was not about picking the answers that you liked and discarding the ones that you didn't, yet he had trouble accepting the written and spoken word on the subject.

But it's wrong. He reminded himself. It's unnatural! Those words were said in so many different voices, including his own, there must be a truth to them. It is a truth he has lived by all his life, to deny it now would not only be unreasonable, it would be a waste.

He was relieved Heero's did not intend to make himself a permanent resident of the neighborhood. He had a gnawing feeling that the young man would not lay low, if the sign was any reliable indication.

Grumbling he walked back to his small study and threw himself back into his desk chair. He took hold of the thick book he had been working on and rifled through it backwards till he had returned to the first page of the story and he started reading from the top. His focus on the words was disturbed when he heard the sound of a large truck coming down the street and stopping in front of the neighboring house. The heavy engine was left on and it's deep rumble drew Duo back to the window. He opened the curtains just far enough for him to peak through.

There was a moving truck parked in front of the new neighbor's old house. A man in blue coveralls jumped out of the high cabin and met Heero halfway up the path to the house, right by the sign which he was ogling with a frown. Whatever he must have been thinking, he politely shook Heero's hand and he held out a clipboard and a pen.

A second man in coveralls emerged from the cabin and opened the loading door of the truck. Instead of the things you expected to come out of a truck following someone's move, like a couch and refrigerator, the men, with Heero's help, started unloading equipment. Large toolboxes, big power tools, crowbars, ladders and more. They carried everything into the house where Duo could see them placing everything in the front room, as the house was stripped bare of all curtains.

He blinked when another truck approached the house, this one backed a large, empty, steel container up into the tall grass of the lawn. The driver casually waited outside for Heero to come out and sign the papers. Duo watched him as the man watched the sign with a neutral expression.

Less than half an hour later, both trucks drove away again.

He watched Heero disappear into the house, away from the windows and when he emerged five minutes later he had changed into black cargo pants and a plain white T-shirt, carrying one of the two supplied ladders to the front porch. He angled it against the edge of the porch's roof and climbed up. With gloved hands he started taking hold of the roof tiles and flinging them off the roof towards the container with perfect accuracy. The tiles made loud, dull noises when they hit the bottom of the container and the sound reverberated through the steel walls.

Duo looked back at his book, staring at the words as the banging of tiles hitting the container floor and the other tiles, continued incessantly. It was an intrusive, distracting noise. Duo tried to read, but with each bang he had to go back a word and make sure that he had read it right. This process soon became tiring and frustrating, till he couldn't read at all anymore in expectation of the next obnoxiously loud bang in the otherwise so quiet neighborhood.

"You've got to be kidding me." Duo grumbled. For the first time in years he wished he had a day job to escape to. In his head he started counting the months till the end of summer. Too many. Duo needed peace and quiet, that is why he chose to move to this neighborhood in the first place.

And here he naively thought Heero's sexual orientation and accompanying political beliefs would be an issue. The young man surely supplied the neighborhood with plenty of reasons to dislike him. It's not like the noise wasn't unexpected, but Duo hadn't counted on it being quite that prominent. When you've lived in a quiet neighborhood for so long, silence just becomes a given and people are fooled into thinking nothing could disturb that peace and quiet.

It seemed Heero wasn't particularly concerned with maintaining the peace nor the quiet.

Duo closed his eyes but was confronted with flashes of unwelcome images of the past, the present and a future that should never be. He felt a painful knot in his stomach.

Rather than standing the onslaught of noise and destructive trains of thought, he grabbed an empty shoulder bag and his wallet and decided to leave the house for the remainder of the day for whatever chore he could think of. He pulled his red front door closed behind him and trotted down the steps of his porch with heavy footfalls. He froze when he suddenly noticed the silence. Warily, he turned and looked up.

Heero stood erect on the roof of the sagging porch, looking down at him, his face challenging with a mischievous smirk. "Hi there neighbor."

"Hey." He didn't return the greeting with much enthusiasm. He threw his bag in the passenger seat of his car and then walked around to the driver's seat.

"You know," Heero called as Duo ripped the car door open, "I'd be done a lot sooner if you could lend me a hand."

Duo blinked up at him, unsure whether to take him seriously or not. "You're kidding."

"Of course not." Heero threw the heavy tile he had been holding into the container down below. He was about halfway done with the roof of the porch.

"Uhm..." It was incredibly impolite to ignore a request for help, but then again, he hadn't so much asked as cockily suggested it. Duo sought middle ground with a compromise: "Maybe some other time."

"Alright. I'll hold you to it." Heero responded with a smile.

He hoped dearly he wouldn't. He lifted his hand in a pathetic wave and then climbed into his car and drove off.

Instead of heading out to do chores, his hands absentmindedly steered his vehicle till he found himself sitting in his car, parked in front of the bookstore, not even remembering how he had gotten there. He had half a mind to drive away, after all, Heero disturbed the exact peaceful state of mind necessary for him to be able to read, but the front of the little bookstore was a welcome sight and it gave him the feeling of coming home to family after a long day. He reached for his bag and got out. What's the point of having money if you are not going to spend it on the things that make you happy?

The bell of the door chimed as he stepped inside and the smell of new and old book enveloped him like a warm blanket on a cold, rainy day. Books filled with stories of fantastic lives that never had been and never would be his. It was bittersweet, yet he liked the taste and always came back for more.

"Duo. I'm surprised to see even you come back this soon." A voice commented as a figure emerged from the rows of bookcases. The bookcases were all relatively low, so even a child could still reach them, but most importantly, so the owner could too. He deftly maneuvered his wheelchair through the aisles as he approached Duo, a smile on his young, but lived-in face.

"WuFei." They shook hands in greeting as they always did. WuFei's hands were callous and dry from leafing through book all day. His store wasn't so much a store as it was a display of his personal collection and an excuse to be around it all day. He often joked that being wheelchair bound was a blessing in disguise. Duo couldn't remember the last time he saw his friend without a substantial stack of books in his lap. Though it took him a long time to be able to make lighthearted jokes about his condition.

"Anything new?"

WuFei snorted with a smile. "Not since the day before yesterday. What's going on?"

"What do you mean?" Duo innocently shot back, approaching the bookcases, staring at the colorful spines.

"Well, it's odd even for you to be coming back so soon. I thought we had agreed we couldn't stand seeing other more often than once a week." He joked.

"Just had to get out of the house." Duo replied softly, picking up a random book and studying it's cover before returning it to it's place.

"Don't judge a book by his cover." His friend chastised meaningfully.

"Don't start." Duo snapped back, absent-mindedly picking up another book. "I just had to be somewhere else."

"Ah." WuFei mused knowingly.

Duo sighed. "Not for the reason you think."

"Good." The Chinese man retorted. "I can't stand listening to you wining about the same thing one more time."

They shared a brief look, an exchange between kind eyes that needed no words.

"So what's the reason?" WuFei moved his chair to the front left corner of the shop where he had decorated a small reading corner. He gestured Duo to take a seat on one of the chairs.

Duo obliged, only because he knew WuFei disliked talking to people who remained standing, forcing him to look up at them and them look down at him. He sat down and put his feet up on the chair across from it, only to be ordered not to do so. "I have a new neighbor." He started dramatically.

WuFei's face was blank. He couldn't stand people overreacting to small things.

So to defend his morose mood Duo added: "He's gay, and makes no secret of it."

"Wow." WuFei scratched his head, the turn in the conversation instantly grabbed his attention. "That's got to be... weird, for you."

"It is."

"Yeah. Snap out of it."

"Excuse me?" Duo straightened up in his seat, giving his friend an incredulous expression. Usually WuFei was more helpful and informative with his advise.

"He's your neighbor. Don't let your upbringing or your beliefs or whatever, for even a second, make you think you have the right to be a dickhead to him." The man warned. "He's just a guy who happens to be gay."

"I had every intention of being nice to him." Duo snapped back.

"Good."

Duo snorted. "You don't even know him. Maybe he deserves me being a "dickhead" to him. And I don't like that word by the way."

WuFei chuckled. "Well, I'm just guessing here, but I dare say you don't know him either. So hold off the religious dickhead routine. Surely you remember what happened last time."

Duo chose to ignore his last comment and repeated: "I told you I didn't like that word."

WuFei shrugged. "Life doesn't always give you what you want." That was particularly poignant coming from a man in a wheelchair. "But maybe it's what you need."

Duo frowned, trying to make sense of WuFei's words. "I need to be called a dickhead?"

"No, well... maybe. But most importantly: maybe you need this guy as your neighbor. Aren't you the one between the two of us who believes everything happens for a reason?"

"So what? I have a gay neighbor as atonement for being a religious dickhead?" Duo sarcastically shot back.

WuFei sighed, his face turned meaningful and he dropped the bantering tone. "I was thinking more about a chance to make things right and coming to terms with some stuff."

Duo's face went red: "Don't tell me you still think-"

WuFei raised his hands in surrender and interrupted: "No, you've made it very clear. What I meant was; don't treat someone differently on superficial grounds just because you were taught so. Maybe if you treat him right, you'll be able to let go of the past."

"You want me to be all buddy-buddy with this guy?"

"I want you to realize that what you have been told about homosexuality is not all truth, let alone absolute."

"It doesn't work like that, WuFei." Duo started with a sigh. "You can't just slice and dice in religion and eat up only the parts you think taste good. Of course I don't want to hate anybody based on sexuality, but I can't accept their lifestyle either and they should know that they are wrong but that they can chose the right path."

WuFei looked at him seriously. "Spare yourself and that new neighbor the heartache of that preach.."

Duo didn't say anything. WuFei was his dearest friend, arguably the only one, but for some reason their conversations always turned towards hostile and heated when the topic inched towards anything related to religion. WuFei wasn't religious himself, never had been. Duo's parents had been very upset when they found out their young son had befriended the "heathen child" as they called him. WuFei was the adoptive son of liberal parents- they would either be called "hippy" or "not in their right mind" by Duo's folks - to them, religion was a choice that WuFei ended up not choosing. Even though their lives parted after middle school when Duo went to a private catholic high school and WuFei to a public school, they managed to remain friends and found ways to respect each other's beliefs, albeit with little understanding.

Finally, Duo spoke in surrender: "You're right. I'll be kind. And I won't give him the preach. Even though maybe I should."

"Trust me." WuFei cut in. "You shouldn't."

Duo felt his competitiveness to be right flare up again. "He should know that he has an alternative, righteous choice."

WuFei shook his head. "It's not a choice Duo. This guy couldn't choose to be straight any more so than I could choose to get up out of this chair and skip around the room." He looked at him lengthily and meaningfully.

Duo glared back at him but in the end had to avert his eyes. "That's not true. You know that's not true." He said, looking at the thread of the carpet.

WuFei replied softly: "The evidence is inconclusive." He rolled up to Duo and gave him a friendly pat on his shoulder. "Now buy a book to make this all worth my time and get lost." He bantered.

Duo started strolling through the aisles, occasionally kneeling down to take a closer look. Even though he knew WuFei didn't actually mean he had to buy a book, he picked one to purchase anyway, something rather mindless but with a lot of action and suspense. He hoped it could distract him from the loud activities and magnetic presence of his new neighbor. He walked it back over to the cash register and got out his wallet.

WuFei scanned the book and told him the price, passing playful judgment on his choice.

Duo gave him a ten dollar bill and told him to keep the change, as always.

As always WuFei stubbornly handed him back the precise amount of change. "Hold on a second." He said before Duo could grab the book and put it in his bag. He reached down into a drawer and pulled out another book, placing it on top of Duo's selected science fiction novel. "Take this one too."

Duo glared at his friend. "I already have it." He remarked dryly.

"Take it. After five years of sitting here, it's not going to sell it anyway. Besides, I have a couple more of where that came from and it sounds like maybe you should read again, to stop you from making the same mistakes all over again. You want a plastic bag with that?" He added sweetly.

"No thanks, shrink." Duo grabbed the set of book and stuffed it into his bag. he walked out of the store, a bit disappointed. He didn't know why, he shouldn't have expected WuFei to give him any other advise. Obviously WuFei had no qualms with homosexuals. Hell, Duo thought - though immediately chastising his choice of words -, the guy thought I was gay for a long time. Things just would have been so much easier if WuFei had told him to rudely ignore his neighbor, or take a long trip till he was gone. But WuFei wasn't the kind of guy to ignore an issue or problem. He faced every challenge head on with determination and bravery and had never revised this attitude, even though it had landed him in the hospital several times and - in the end - in a wheelchair.

He went by the grocery store and after picking up some necessary supplies he mulled over the selection of frozen dinners and went with pizza after considering quiche. Only because pizza just seemed more masculine than quiche, he had to silently admit. He stopped by the soft drink aisle for a bottle of root beer and then waited in line at the cash register. As he waited he licked his lips, trying to still his appetite for quiche.

"Hi, Duo." He was greeted when he was at the front of the line.

"Hey, Amber." He replied politely but lacking enthusiasm or interest. "How are you?"

"Good. I'm really good. I mean, I fine, I guess I could be better, but I'm good." She nervously babbled, keeping her eyes on his as she scanned his products. "How are you doing? Are you doing good?"

He offered her a smile that he hoped was soothing and reassuring. "I'm fine."

"Okay. That's great. That's wonderful." She meekly replied. She tucked a lock of her curly black hair behind her ear and looked up at him in a shyly seductive manner.

Duo noticed her fingers unnecessarily touched his and lingered as she took the money he hander her.

"Have a nice day." She practically purred with a deep crimson rushing to her cheekbones as she handed him back his change.

"Thanks. You too, Amber." He hurriedly gathered his groceries into his arms and scurried away. He chucked everything into the passenger seat chair and threw his bag on top. He slowly drove back home.

When he pulled into the driveway, his new neighbor was nowhere to be found. Duo admitted this gave him a slight sense of relief. He walked around the car and stuffed as much of the groceries as he could into the bag and then effortfully gathered the remaining products into his arms again.

"Do you need help with that?"

The sudden voice from close behind him startled Duo and promptly caused him to drop all the things he had been holding. Most fell back into the passenger seat, other things ended up on the driveway. A can of soup rolled down the slight incline towards the road, but Heero - the cause of the mess - swiftly went after it and picked it up before it had even reached the sidewalk.

"I didn't mean to scare you." Heero said with a smile as he walked back towards Duo and innocently handed him the can of "tomato soup with extra tomato flavor".

"I wasn't scared." Duo replied in a more deep version of his own voice, taking back his soup. "Just caught me off guard, that's all."

"Sorry." Heero watched with a bemused expression as Duo's distracted hands worked to gather all the groceries. "Do you need any help with that?" He asked again.

Duo was about to snap at him that he could handle it himself but WuFei's presence in the back of his head stopped him. With a grumbling tone he accepted the help, even though it really wasn't all that necessary. He didn't mind being nice to the new neighbor, he was just worried of what the others would think if he ended up getting to close to Heero. Duo sighed, when did I become so hostile? He asked himself. WuFei, though a good friend, always managed to upset him in some way. Or maybe he just always got him thinking and, unfortunately those thoughts always ended up being upsetting.

Out of the blue, he apologized for his rude attitude and genuinely thanked him for his help, as Heero followed him up to the house carrying the soup, the root beer and the pack of toilet paper - embarrassingly.

"Don't worry about it. We're neighbors after all."

Duo looked at him over his shoulder, catching his smile. "Right." He unlocked the front door and led his neighbor inside.

Heero paused as they passed the entry to the living room, of course he had been using the opportunity to look around. Duo couldn't blame him for that. "Wow." The young man commented.

Duo ignored him and walked his part of the groceries to the kitchen. He'd put them away later. He returned to the hallway and frowned when Heero was gone.

"You have a lot of books!" His voice suddenly called from the living room.

Duo sighed and followed him, finding him standing in the middle of the room, admiring the volume of the collection. He still had the three items cradled in his arms.

Duo chewed on the inside of his cheek, feeling a little exposed and vulnerable with the new neighbor eyeing his books. For some inexplicable reason it felt like he was looking at something very personal and like he was gaining an intimate knowledge of him without offering anything in return.

"You have a lot of Bibles." Was his second observation as his gaze fell on the shelf entirely occupied by editions of the Bible, both Old Testament and New Testament. "Are you religious?"

Duo snorted. "Yeah, so what?" He bit back.

Heero turned to face him with an apologetic and also curious expression. "I didn't mean it in an offensive way."

"How could you not?" Duo questioned, taking the groceries from him and momentarily tossing them on the couch. "You obviously don't think much of religion."

Heero frowned and appeared genuinely confused. "What makes you say that?"

"The sign." Duo answered.

"The sign has nothing to do with what I think of religion. However, the sign has everything to do with what religion and religious people, amongst others, think of me."

"What's the difference?" Duo demanded to know.

Heero shrugged and started towards the front door. "The difference is that I don't hate someone, or something, just because they hate me, or because someone told me to hate them." He took hold of the doorknob as he stood in the doorway. "Have a nice evening, neighbor." He said without snide tone and then he pulled the door shut behind him.

Duo groaned as he stood in the silence. He felt like dickhead.

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><p><strong>It was a bit of an unexpectedly rough start for me, but I hoped I managed to produce a good chapter regardless. Feel free to share your thoughts with me regarding the chapter, I would most certainly appreciate any kind of feedback :)<strong>

**May I just remind readers of my author's note at the beginning of the chapter: The aim of this story is not to offend or discredit anyone's belief regarding religion, whether it is pro- or anti-. **


	3. Chapter 3

**Nikki: so far so good, I have not yet received angry comments regarding the religious aspect of the story. Still a long way to go though :P I'll probably have to keep reminding everyone that I mean no offense. I'm glad you like this new and improved Heero, after 38 chapters of Warheads-Heero and his somewhat similar characterization in my other current stories, I really needed to mix things up. I'm looking forward to the hot-not-gay!-sex myself :P Thank you for reviewing, sorry for the long wait, but I hope you will enjoy this new chapter)**

**Hikaru Itsuko: Thank you, I hope I can maximize its potential and really turn it into a great story Sorry you had to wait so long, but I hope it was worth it :S)**

**Snowdragonct: You didn't alienate me with what you said, I completely agree! I wasn't raised Catholic myself, I did go to a Catholic school but only because it was the best school in the area, but my parents are atheists. I sort of "found God" on my own :P I do believe in a God, but not the God described in the bible or preached of in church. Cuz that guy sounds like a douche to me :S But at the very least I hope my upbringing has given me insight into all perspectives which I can draw on for this story :P I'm really glad you are enjoying the set-up, I really hope I will succeed in writing a good story Thank you, as always, for reviewing and sharing your thoughts with me and sorry for the long wait :S**

**Frayedsoul: Thank you so much for reviewing I'm glad you like the "personality-switch". Personally, I really felt like this story needed a different approach to their characterization. My apologies that you had to wait so long for this update!**

**Emilina-sama: Feel free to accuse me of writing them OOC, because for all intents and purposes, I am, I have no qualms with that and I won't change it because that is what I had in mind for this story. I feel that since it is an AU story it would be more unnatural for them to be in-character (be the way they are in the series) than the other way around. After all, their backgrounds are completely different and it is the upbringing, the experiences and the interactions that shape a person. In my other AU stories I have kept them more true to their "series characters" because their background are roughly similar and that justifies their characterization. I hope that the OOC-ness doesn't put you off :S And I hope you will continue reading the story and sharing your thoughts with me. Thank you very much for reviewing)**

**VegaLume-San: I'm glad to hear you are enjoying my stories, including this one thank you so much for reviewing, I really hope you will continue to enjoy these stories)**

**CaramelAriana: Thanks for reviewing and, again, for checking the chapters I hope you will continue to enjoy the story in spite of all the semicolons where there should be commas and the commas where there should be semicolons :P**

**Pikeebo: Thank you so much, I'm really glad you are enjoying the story and I hope you will enjoy this update)**

**CircleKV12: Thank you for the faith, I hope I won't let you down So sorry it took me so long to update, it really is an exception, I had a very important assignment that required my full attention, but now that that is out of the way I am confident I will be able to update regularly again. **

**Cusozu: Thank you for reviewing I hope you will continue to read and review.**

**jkb: I understand your point, I do believe in God, but I don't believe in the word of the Bible or the Church. I hope you will enjoy this update, let me know? Thank you for reviewing)**

**jeangreymullinsjr: Thank you very much, I hope you won't be disappointed PS: awesome avatar! :D**

**Author's note:**

**Wow! It has been SO long! I really, genuinely apologize. The university kept me busy all this time. Luckily I was finally able do to some writing so here is this new chapter for Love Thy Neighbor and you can also expect updates for Brothers and Loneliest road VERY soon as both chapters are currently being beta'd by CaramelAriana. Thousand Words I'm still in the process of writing, but with less schoolwork the next week or so, I am hopeful)**

**CaramelAriana also beta'd this chapter, I am very thankful and trust me, you should be too :P**

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><p><strong>Love Thy Neighbor<strong>

**Two**

Another morning of standing in the bay window, nursing a scalding hot cup of black coffee whilst spying on the new neighbor. The front porch was completely torn away, he had made quick work of that the day before, attacking it with a chainsaw reminiscent of many horror movies.

Duo watched, hopefully inconspicuously, as Heero dragged a garden hose through the front lawn, towards the sign prominently featured in the center. Duo didn't know why, but he started hosing down the sign diligently, with his eyebrows knitted together and his jaw clenched shut tightly.

He took a sip and groaned when his tongue turned sore as it was burned by the hot liquid.

Heero couldn't have heard him; still, he was suddenly looking at him, spotting him half hidden behind the curtains framing the bay window. He raised his hand in a confidant wave, with a smile to match. Being spied on didn't seem to cause him any discomfort. After lingering eye contact he turned his attention back to the task at hand, whatever that may have been.

Duo still mulled over their brief conversation of the previous night, when Heero had helped him with his groceries. He also remembered WuFei's encouragement to be welcoming and, more importantly, open-minded. He didn't know to what extent he would be successful at that. The mere thought of Heero made him uncomfortable. Being in his presence, having those eyes on him, only exacerbated the feeling. Many people have things they purposefully avoid, because it's too difficult to be confronted with them and with the underlying issue they represent. Widows might never open their husband's closet. Some people may turn off the news when there has been a natural disaster. Others may shun family members of different convictions. Some things are just too hard to reconcile.

Duo was very well aware that Heero was a complete person, as WuFei also pointed out. He wasn't just a gay man, his sexuality was only a part of him. But his sexuality, which was as undeniable and unashamed as the sign in the front lawn, is what provoked so many questions within Duo. Leading to a constant debate of right versus wrong. And of course the definition of the two depends a lot on the source. What if the sources you are referencing, are conflicting?

It was just too confusing. It would be easier if Heero could just disappear, but Duo knew he had to patiently wait for that day to come. Until then, he would have to stand the inner trouble, conflicts and questions.

Before Heero could seek eye contact again Duo retreated into the depths of his house, leaving his coffee to go cold on the window sill. He closed the door of his office behind him and settled into his comfortable desk chair. The curtains were drawn, to avoid being distracted by the sight of his new neighbor. The darkness was also soothing, it had a quieting effect. It gave him focus. Or at least it used to. He knew his peace of mind was doomed as Heero would resume with the noisier tasks of his reconstruction. But the current silence was treasured.

He flicked on the single lamp on his desk and aimed the beam at his bag that he had brought with him to the bookstore the day before. He zipped it open and wrapped his large hands around the two books, pulling them out, into the beam of light. On top was the novel he had picked out. It wasn't really of his preferred genre, but having read as much as he had, finding new, interesting books could be a challenge and it made it clear it was time to branch out and explore new things.

Duo flipped open the colorful cover and rifled through the three hundred pages filled with tiny, black script. He enjoyed the smell of books, both new and old, and the feeling of any kind of paper against the sensitive pads of his fingers, but what he liked most was the sound as page by page grazed past his thumb and flipped over, or the sound of a book being pulled out of a packed shelf, it's covers sliding against those of the neighboring books. To Duo, it was the sound of the written tales coming to life, filling his existence with adventures he had never experienced.

He placed the book on the only empty corner of the desk and let his eyes fall on the book WuFei had given him. Once it had brought him pride, but with every passing day it became more and more like a sore reminder that his every attempt at life was doomed to fail and would ultimately leave him empty and cold.

He reached out and stroked his thumb across the lettering, which was bold and dominating on the otherwise plain and understated cover.

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD

DUO MAXWELL

He sighed. With one hand he grabbed the book filled with his own words, with the other he grabbed the corner of a stack of meaningless papers on his desk. He slid the book underneath, hiding it from sight. But its presence still felt like a dull ache.

It was the only book he had ever managed to write. The idea of it was born in the middle of an important conference meeting, during the time he was still working as the CEO of a successful but utterly boring corporation. He used many of those meetings to contemplate his life and during that particular meeting it had appeared before him painfully obvious. He was wasting the life God had granted him; wasting it with a meager, materialistic, ungrateful existence that would leave even a rock unimpressed. He had remembered his dream, from when he was just a young boy, fleeing to the realms of the library and the fantasy of life it contained after every single day of school. His young self had been sitting there between the rows of books, somehow so certain that one day his name would be up there.

He had made a rash decision in that very moment.

"Any other points we should address before we conclude this meeting?" The company's sickly wealthy owner who insisted on being present every meeting asked no one in particular.

"Yes," Duo had said.

The twenty-four eyes that made up the board of directors had focused questioning gazes on him.

"I would like to announce my resignation."

Everyone had thought he had gone crazy still did but it was the closest he had come to happiness in a long time.

That feeling had withered away, Duo realized, staring morosely at the stack of papers through which the shape of the book could still be seen.

He had been blessed with the luxury of large savings, never having invested any large portion of salary in anything, always playing it safe. The book had practically written itself, the experience of it pleasantly surreal.

His book had been very successful, obscenely so. It was a "New York Times" bestseller and because of the strong religious content he had been invited to discuss it at several television and radio shows, mostly local. Newspaper reviews, though always including the disclaimer "for a first attempt", were raving, abundantly optimistic about this "fresh new voice". But they righteously wondered if he would ever be able to reproduce his initial success.

After years of failed attempts it became increasingly, painfully clear that it had been a case of beginner's luck.

His life never went through the cascade of changes he had expected following the realization of his dream to be a published author. The satisfaction and fulfillment steadily declined as future pages remained blank. He was still merely existing. Even though the words in the book were his own, they didn't breathe life into him the way the words of other authors did. Which was ironic, considering the book was basically autobiographical.

His curiosity piqued when he heard a truck pulling into Heero's driveway and he couldn't resist taking hold of the thick curtain of the small window and pulling it back to take a peek.

A white business truck with trailer had pulled up and four tall and muscular men walked out and approached Heero. They all shook his hand. A brief conversation followed during which they oftentimes looked back at the house and pointed high up. When they pulled the tarp off the trailer he recognized roofing supplies and knew he was in for another day of shingles loudly falling into the container.

The men started work on the roof, but Duo had nowhere to go. He couldn't justify another trip to the bookstore, moreover, he was not in the mood to face WuFei. He grabbed the thriller he had purchased yesterday and crossed straight through the house to the other side, physically removing himself from the noise as far as possible. He nestled himself in a comfortable lounge chair in a corner of the living room and put on ear phones, playing classical music as loud as he could stand whilst trying to read.

The combination of music and fiction was thankfully sufficiently distracting; once he got into the story, the background noise disappeared and the music wasn't obtrusive but rather a harmonious addition to the story, like it was playing in the living room of the main character. For the entire day, Duo did not just exist, he lived, adopting the identity of the brave protagonist who pushed the plot forward as he twisted through interesting developments.

If he hadn't set his alarm clock, he would have completely lost track of time and he would have read until the story had reached its climax. Unfortunately, he was expected to join Relena, Terry and their husbands for dinner and even though he was tempted to pretend to have forgotten, he could not stand to be so terribly impolite, so he detached himself from the book and the comfortable seat, turning off the music and he went upstairs for a shower and to get dressed. He hadn't eaten anything since breakfast but that was okay; he never had much of an appetite and he knew that starving himself would be the most likely way to get him to eat a respectable amount. He wasn't really a breakfast-lunch-dinner kind of guy; he never felt like organizing his day according to having meals at socially acceptable hours.

He especially never liked sharing meals with others, as the situation made conversation and thus, prying and uncomfortable questions, unavoidable.

So he stepped out of the shower with a significant amount of dread, enhanced by the reliable prediction that a lot of the conversation would revolve around the new neighbor. Relena and Terry were infamous gossips who never could let a story truth or lie go untold.

He stepped into a pair of black slacks and put on a dark blue button-up shirt and tied a black tie around his neck. He considered a jacket, but the humidity and warmth of the day had even managed to creep into his well-insolated house. He would be uncomfortable and sweaty enough without an extra layer if the topic would linger on Heero and his sexuality for an extended period.

He walked outside, instantly feeling the warmth clinging to his skin, every bead of sweat that formed more truth to global warming. Duo frowned when his ears picked up on voices and laughter to his right. He stepped off his front porch and walked the path to the street, looking to the right at the new neighbor's house. The roof was abandoned, all the shingles were missing and a thick, orange tarp was held in place with loose shingles and wooden beams. His eyes trailed down and he spotted the five figures the four workmen and Heero sitting in the grass under the shade of one of the tall, dominating trees.

They were drinking beers to cool down and seemed to enjoy their conversation, frequently bursting out into genuine laughter.

Duo didn't even realize he had stopped dead in his tracks till he noticed Heero looking at him. The young man was smiling kindly, but Duo felt incredibly embarrassed and awkward, knowing it was too late to pretend he hadn't been staring.

Heero got up, wiping his bottom free from dirt with his free hand as he started towards Duo. In the other hand he had two beers, his fingers clutched around the slim necks. One of them was the one he had been drinking, the other still had the cap on. Presumably, it was for Duo.

A kind of panic came over him. He really didn't desire another strange and forced interaction with the new neighbor, regardless of how goodhearted Heero's intentions may have been. So there was relief, although Duo was ashamed to admit that, when he heard his name being called from across the street. He whipped his head around and saw Terry in the doorway of her house, beckoning him over. She must have been spying through the curtains.

Without looking back at Heero again, he moved his feet and walked away, crossing the street with a slightly quickened pace.

"Duo," he heard Heero say in bewilderment as the distance between them increased, but the young man didn't say anything else and Duo felt his piercing eyes on his back as Heero watched him leave.

He had no way to justify himself. After all, didn't he always proclaim to be polite? With a heavy feeling he walked up to Terry, forcing on a smile.

Terry looked over his shoulder, no doubt at Heero. "You can thank me later for saving you," she said and then placed her hand on his shoulder and guided him inside, firmly closing the front door behind them.

Duo pretended not to have heard and apologized for not bringing her anything, realizing that he should have brought flowers, or desert, or wine.

Terry assured him it was fine, considering the short notice of the invitation she had extended only yesterday. She ushered him through the open doorway into the living room, where her husband, Michael, and Relena's husband, Carlton, were seated on the couch. The TV was on, showing a football game, the sound turned way down low. Sounds drifted through the open double doors leading to the back yard: the sounds of Terry's three children roughhousing. Relena was by the window, the curtain pinched between her fingers as she stared across the street. Suddenly she squealed and ducked.

"He looked right at me!" she said with an immature giggle.

Duo would have rolled his eyes at her had he not realized how childish his own behavior had been. Through the thin curtains he could see Heero still standing where he had left them, staring at the house. It unnerved Duo. He was relieved, but didn't feel any less guilty, when the young man finally turned and walked back to the others.

"Do you think they are all gay?" She wondered aloud as she slowly approached the window again to peek through.

"You'd think so," Terry replied, "they sure seem to be getting along abnormally well."

"Honey," Michael spoke up, looking up at her. "The TV?"

"What about it?"

"You're standing right in front of it."

"Oh!" She started to laugh as she hurried out of the way. "Duo, feel free to sit down to watch the game. Relena and I will finish preparing dinner."

At hearing her name Relena stepped away from the window and headed towards the kitchen in the back.

Watching sports never really interested Duo and his disinterest and lack of knowledge would be flagrant. He didn't want to embarrass himself, so he offered"I can help with dinner, I really don't mind."

"Oh don't be silly. Watch the game. That's a healthy thing for real men to be doing."

Relena chuckled in response to that.

He didn't argue further with her outdated notions, knowing it would be in vain. He sat down on the couch, next to Michael. Carlton was on the other couch, his arms outstretched over the back of the couch.

"Are you a football fan, Duo?" Michael asked.

"Not really," he admitted.

"Me neither," Michael poked Duo in the side with his elbow, drawing attention to the grin on his face. "I just pretend to, so I don't have to help in the kitchen. An especially useful technique during Thanksgiving."

"Blasphemous!" Carlton exclaimed. "Football is the greatest sport in the world. I bet you even God himself has a favorite team. Oh, I'm sorry Duo, I didn't mean to offend or anything."

"It's fine," he assured. "I'd hope that God would have more pressing matters to deal with than football, but who knows."

"Oh, I know," Carlton said. "Believe me, I know. Every sports team I have ever rooted for, God has fucked over royally. Sorry, no offense."

"Sure." He forced himself to focus on the game, rather than be distracted by the thought of Heero and how rudely he had ignored him when the neighbor had only tried to be friendly, while he fled to neighbors he didn't even like.

Soon, everyone was called to dinner and Duo sat down to observe the start of familial drama as Terry tried to get all her rowdy boys to wash their hands before joining the guests at the dinner table. Michael didn't get involved in the ordeal. Carlton complimented the delicious looking and smelling food but his compliment went unheard, drowned out by the screaming of the youngest, only nine years old, who seemed adamant to resist his mother's order. It took a while before everyone was seated and the hostess could receive her compliments.

"Here, Duo, honey, have some more," Terry insisted, scooping up more potatoes than he wanted and putting them on his plate. "Gravy?"

"No, thank you."

"You should have some." She poured some over his potatoes and meat. "It's really no good without it."

"I'm sure it's delicious either way."

"Oh, Duo, you are always so sweet," Relena gushed. "Carlton, honey, why can't you be more like Duo?"

"I'll get right on it, sweetcakes," he muttered before stuffing his mouth with a large bite.

"You should come over more often for dinner," Terry said, "I worry about you, all alone in that big house, with no one to look after you."

"Duo is a big boy, Terry, I'm sure he can take care of himself," Michael interjected before she could continue her mother hen behavior.

"Still no one special in your life?" Relena questioned, taking a delicate bite of broccoli.

Duo blinked away the sudden image of Heero, having no idea where that came from, but not appreciative of the thought. "No, not really."

"Surely, women must be falling over themselves trying to seduce you," her smirk turned a little seductive. "You are very handsome and fit and tall-"

"Keep it in your pants, will you pumpkin?" Carlton spoke up matter-of-factly.

An uncomfortable silence fell over them, the atmosphere filling with tension. It was a well-known scandal in the neighborhood that Relena wasn't always faithful to her husband when he was away for business. It was equally well-known that Carlton knew about it. But it was like the forbidden word. They were WASPs so, go figure.

"More peas, anyone?" Terry tried.

The middle son started laughing. "Mom said 'pees'!"

The other two erupted into obnoxious laughter.

"I did not!" Her outburst was ineffective, so she turned to her husband. "Michael. Michael, say something."

"Listen to your mother, boys..."

Of course that was of no help whatsoever.

"I'm sorry about this, they've been worked up like this all day," Terry apologized.

All their lives, Duo knew. All three of them had some combination of ADD, learning disabilities and antisocial disorders. Duo was taught that all life is beautiful and has to be cherished with some exception, of course, as outlined in the good book but Duo pitied Terry for being saddled with this burden. Especially since Michael was the prototype of the absent and disinterested father.

"Well, Terry, they weren't all bad," Relena pointed out with a grin. "This morning they did what everyone in this neighbor thought about and wanted to do."

"Bunny," Carlton started, "you shouldn't encourage such behavior."

"No, actually, I agree," said Terry. "What they did was wrong, but honestly, I can't say I disagree."

"We didn't even get grounded!" The oldest of the children boasted.

"What did they do?" Duo wondered curiously, pushing around a potato soaked in thick gravy.

"They uh, they defiled the sign in Heero's front yard."

Carlton amended his wife's delicate phrasing by clarifying"They smeared dog shit on it."

"Carlton!"

Duo lost his appetite, if he had ever had one. He neatly placed his fork by his plate an placed his hands in his lap, rubbing his sweaty palms up and down his thigh.

"Like, all over it. The first thing I thought when I saw it was: where in the world did they find that much dog shit?"

"Carlton!" Relena practically screeched.

"We went to the dog park!" the middle son answered proudly.

Duo's face went pale.

"Don't worry, Duo. Their dirty hands didn't get anywhere near my kitchen, I promise."

Feeling sick, but not for the reason they all suspected, Duo announced"I need to get some fresh air."

"Great idea, me too." Carlton already rose to his feet.

"You just want to go out and have a smoke," Relena accused him with sharp, narrowed eyes.

"How many times to I have to tell you, kitten? I quit, I swear." Carlton turned to Duo and suggested"Let's go out front. While we're out there, do you mind looking at my lawnmower again? Damn thing died on me again last weekend."

"Sure." Duo politely excused himself and followed Carlton outside, through the front door. The truck and the workmen were gone and the new neighbor was nowhere to be seen, though his old red truck was in the driveway. The sign was clean and gleamed in the orange light of the setting sun.

Carlton led him to his garage, pushing the large door up.

The inside of their garage was obsessively organized. In the center, presented like a proud statement, was Carlton's large lawnmower.

Eager for distraction, Duo popped open the little hood and inspected the mechanics and wiring. Every Saturday, ever since he was a young boy until well into his adolescence, he worked from sunrise to sunset in his father's auto shop, so he had acquired some experience and just enough skills to fix the simpler problems.

"You can stop looking, it's fine," Carlton said. He took a toolbox from a shelf and opened it. He pulled out a box of two inch nails and held it up for Duo to see. "I just needed an excuse to get this." He opened the lid to reveal a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. He placed one between his lips and cupped his hand around it to light it. "Want one?"

"No thanks. I don't smoke."

"Why, is it not allowed?" Carlton mocked, but he immediately apologized, as he always did.

"I just figured that when the time would come to meet my maker, I would wish I had had that extra decade that non-smokers get."

"Afraid to meet the maker, huh? Have some wrongs to right?" Carlton grinned around the cigarette in his mouth.

Duo tensed up.

"Don't sweat it. No judgment here. I'm liberal enough to balance out this entire neighborhood of traditionalist, religious Republicans. Don't tell Relena, but I'm a registered Democrat." He inhaled more tobacco smoke and sighed in pleasure. "So, I know why I'm out here, why did you have to get out? Dog shit makes you that queasy?"

"A bit," Duo started, thoughtfully looking outside, across the street. "Mostly I just feel sorry for the new neighbor. I mean, I dislike gays as much as the next how did you put it? 'Traditionalist, religious Republican'? But as a Christian, it doesn't sit right with me to treat people like that. No one needs to be friends, but dog shit? Come on."

Carlton nodded. "Agreed. But they don't see it like that. They don't see a man, they see a stereotype. You do too, you know, but at least you seem to have the sense to rise above it."

Duo shamefully rubbed the back of his neck. He wasn't so sure about his ability to rise above, he had failed to do so yet.

"It's the small town phenomenon. Everyone on this street grew up in a tiny, secluded town, with strict parents that took them to church every Sunday. Me? I grew up in Chicago in the poorest district of the city. My neighbors were Latino's and Blacks and gays. And I'll tell you this much, the fag one floor above us, was the smartest fucking man I ever met. That's good enough for me." He looked to the side in thought for a moment and then added with a crooked grin"Okay, maybe not the very smartest. The old fucker did die of AIDS of course."

"Of course." Duo replied quietly. Carlton may have prided himself for being a big-city-man, unlimited, with the absence of a religious background, but he too suffered from prejudice. Maybe that was with good reason. Maybe there was a truth to the prejudice and the stereotype and that is why it was so resilient.

"Let's head back inside before my wife has a fit. Trust me, being 'taken care of' is grossly overrated."

They made it back in time for desert: home-made pie with fresh strawberries and whipped cream. Duo didn't eat much. He was disappointed in himself and knew that WuFei would be disappointed too, maybe even God as well.

He was offered to stay for coffee, or a beer, or a glass of wine basically for any beverage of choice but he declined and with his hands stuffed deep in his pockets, he walked back to his own house, admittedly lingering on the porch, part of him hoping that Heero would emerge from the old house, giving him a chance to apologize. That was the least he could do. But there was no activity to be seen in the old house.

He spent the rest of the evening curled up in the lounge chair, finishing the book he had started reading that morning. When he was done he walked it over to the bookshelves and managed to squeeze it into the small open space that remained. Then it was off to bed, to a restless sleep.

The next morning he watched from the bay window as the same workmen of the day before returned to continue work on the roof. They greeted Heero enthusiastically. It appeared the new neighbor had quite the effect on people. Yesterday their greeting had appeared nothing more than a formal introduction, now they shook hands and patted shoulders like they were old friends. None of the tall, burly men seemed hindered, in the least, by the prominent, declarative sign in the front yard.

Movement in the corner of his eye drew his attention and he looked across the street. Relena and Terry were standing in the doorway of Terry's house, both wearing robes and slippers. Their husbands simultaneously pulled their expensive sedans out of the driveway and headed in opposite directions. The two women talked briefly, frequently stealing glances at the new neighbor and his curiously friendly relationship with the workmen. After enough insults presumably had been thrown around, Relena headed back into her own house.

Duo watched Heero climb up the towering ladder at the side of the house, leading up to the roof, followed by the others.

The noise created by the construction was much less obtrusive. Occasionally Duo would peel himself away from the old book he had chosen to reread to spy on the progress, which was very quick. All five men worked on nailing brand new shingles to the roof structure. All men were sweating, their shirts sticking to their backs, their hair dark and slick as they worked under the surprising heat of the spring sun. For some reason though, Duo didn't even notice the four workmen, his eyes trailed Heero's movements as the young man maneuvered across the rooftop. His heart dropped when Heero slipped and slid down the angled roof several feet, sliding over the new shingles till his feet connected with the gutter and stopped his descent. The young man seemed shocked at first, but then he smiled in relief and gave the others two thumbs up before he crawled back up to the apex of the roof, straddling it securely to catch his breath.

After that, Duo didn't dare to look again, not liking the way his eyes focused on Heero's body and the way his heart stopped when he watched him slip.

He continued to read the old book, but found it an insufficient distraction. His mind kept wandering into dark territory, territory he had once lined with razor wire fences and KEEP OUT signs. He was pressing into the barrier he had created himself, the barbs causing him pain, cutting into his skin. The wounds bled the truth, the truth of how he yearned to cross that fence, yet couldn't, mustn't, shouldn't.

With a sharp intake of breath he startled awake, without ever having realized he had fallen asleep. A single light shone on the pages of the book that had fallen into his lap when his hands had gone tired and limp. The rest of the house was completely dark.

There was a knock on the door. There must have been an earlier one, which had awoken him.

He placed the book aside and with caution approached the door. He didn't like having guests; he never could distinguish between visitors and intruders into his private space. WuFei was the only exception, the only welcome visitor and even with him Duo felt like he was seeing more than he should. He opened the door just enough to peek through. A shiver went through him, but not because the night's air had cooled.

"Good evening," Heero said with a smooth voice and a warm smile. "I hope I'm not interrupting."

"I was reading," Duo lied

"I'm sorry about this." With a whip of his neck Heero threw his dark chocolate bangs out of his face. "I uh, I was wondering if you have a first aid kit."

That was an odd turn to the conversation, Duo thought. "I think so. Why?" He didn't mean to sound so suspicious, but it was what it was.

"I don't have one. Pretty stupid, not to have a first aid kit on a construction site," he chuckled sheepishly. "You see, I cut my leg today."

"When you slipped?" Duo blurted with concern.

Heero cocked his head to the side and between his brows an amused frown appeared. "You saw that? Were you watching me?"

"No, not you," Duo bit back defensively. He stammered for a moment before coming up with a perfectly suitable lie. "I was watching the construction. It was interesting."

Heero raised an eyebrow and his smile brightened. "Well, would you mind...?" He gestured down at his leg. "I didn't even notice until I was undressing."

Duo's mouth went dry but his palms slick. Finally, he opened the door further and stepped back, wordlessly inviting Heero inside. Heero's eyes on him was unnerving as he closed the front door behind him and hesitated in the hallway, completely forgetting what he was supposed to do. Heero's presence was gravitational, drawing all eyes and thoughts to his being.

"The first aid kit?" The young man inquired with a knowing smile.

"Right!" Duo exclaimed, his feet finally getting into motion. "Wait here, please," he requested as he hurried up the stairs to the bathroom connected to his bedroom. He didn't really have a first aid kit, but he did have the individual supplies necessary to take care of a wound. He gathered them from the medicine cabinet above the sink and carried them back downstairs.

Heero wasn't in the hallway anymore.

Like the day before, he had wandered into the living room. He was standing right in front of one of the many bookcases that lined the wall, his head tilted and his gaze concentrated as he curiously read the titles.

Duo scraped his throat to get his attention and reached out the items to him. "Bandages and iodine. You should really get a kit though."

"I know. I'm sorry to bother you." Heero accepted the supplies, then bit his lip as he looked thoughtful, it seemed like he was trying to find a way to extend the conversation. "How was your dinner last night?"

Duo tensed up. "Fine. Terry sends her apologies about what her boys did to your sign."

"No she doesn't."

Duo rubbed the back of his neck, looking away to the side. "No," he admitted, "she doesn't. But I am sorry. About what those kids did and... about ignoring you, earlier."

"That's okay," Heero spoke mildly, a tiny, kind smile on his lips but his eyes were mischievous, flirtatious even. It made Duo feel uncomfortable, but only because he realized that underneath the discomfort he was flattered and... fascinated. Heero continued"You can make it up to me."

"Alright," Duo agreed, though worried about what he had just agreed to. With good reason, it turned out.

"You can let me offer you another beer some time."

Duo sighed. "When you do, can I refuse?"

Heero shook his head and chuckled. "No. That would be very impolite. And then you would just owe me twice."

"Aren't the bandages and iodine enough to make it up to you?"

"No," Heero quipped. "Especially because this," he held up the bottle of iodine, "is going to hurt like a mother he bit his lip and looked up at Duo sheepishly. "Sorry."

"That's okay. I have a friend who swears. I'm used to it."

"Well, good. Because you'll have two friends who swear."

Duo snorted. "I hardly think we could be friends, no offense. Just because we are neighbors... it just doesn't work like that."

"But we are not going to be friends just because we are neighbors. We are going to be friends because I like you and you will like me. You'll see," Heero assured.

Duo was completely taken aback by that.

"Thanks for the stuff. I'll get it back to you tomorrow." Heero opened the door to let himself out.

"Yeah, sure. Uhhh... good luck with your leg."

He waved goodbye as he disappeared into the dark, heading back to his own house, leaving Duo with a strange feeling, one that felt nice but one he didn't welcome. He shut the door, hoping to be able to sever that gravitational pull, hoping to be able to lock out Heero and all the confusing thoughts and feelings that he provoked. It wasn't sexual or romantic, it was just a near irresistible urge to be in his presence, yet the paradox was that he wanted it so much, he feared it feared mostly what it meant and the nice feeling had an aching aftermath to it that overshadowed everything.

He practically hid in his own home in order to avoid Heero and to postpone paying off his debt. He knew the beer would only be an excuse for another uncomfortable, confusing meeting.

What he felt when he was near Heero, too closely resembled a feeling he once knew. A feeling he thought to have buried successfully. An accomplishment he had been proud of, for those feelings had caused him great shame. Heero was threatening to dismantle all that hard work with his good, friendly intentions. Duo couldn't really blame the new neighbor for this, it were his own demons that were complicating the otherwise simple and platonic relationship. He just wished Heero would get the hint and stop making such an effort. He couldn't help but wonder if

Heero's intentions were, in truth, as innocent as he perceived them to be. Duo wasn't arrogant enough to think that just because the new neighbor was gay, he couldn't help but develop feelings for him and consequently pursue those, but it was a persisting prejudice that he surely shared with many men; that a gay friend can never be just a friend, because he might desire more.

After a week he had pillaged every source of food in his house and was forced to go outside. It was comical, even to himself, how much he dreaded leaving the safety of his home. He snorted at his own behavior as he stalled by putting on his shoes agonizingly slowly. Heero may not have the intention to become a permanent resident on the block, but he was still going to be around for a considerable amount of time. Even Duo, a self-proclaimed recluse, knew there was no avoiding him.

When he went outside, got to his car, started it and drove off, without Heero ever approaching him or even being seen, Duo especially berated himself for his childish antics. Still, when he was at the store, he purchased enough food to last him over two weeks.

"Hello, Duo," Amber, the cashier, greeted him whilst heavily batting her thick, black eyelashes.

"Hi, Amber."

"Are you having guests over?" The girl wondered as she scanned item after item.

"Excuse me?"

"You don't normally buy this much food," she pointed out sweetly.

That is because normally going to the store, even for mundane groceries, was a welcome break in his day. This time though, he needed a back up plan, in case his childishness would get the better of him again. "Oh, no, just stocking up a little," he explained.

"Hmm, spaghetti," she purred as she scanned a box of instant spaghetti. "I love spaghetti."

Duo wasn't too dumb or blind to recognize she was fishing for an invitation, as she had been ever since she started working at the store, but no matter how much effort she put into her seduction, which lately had been decidedly less than subtle, Duo never felt inclined to take her up on her offer. She was a nice looking young woman and maybe, as a grown man with needs, he should have been interested. Yet he wasn't. Her presence left him feeling indifferent. He couldn't help but compare it to his limited experience with Heero. But as soon as he did, he stopped himself and reminded himself that the two were not comparable. Heero was a man after all, whereas Amber was a woman. Feelings for the two could not be compared as they were of a different nature.

"Duo? Duo?"

He snapped out of his thought and looked at her with a question mark on his face.

"That'll be fifty seven dollars and seventeen cents."

"Right." He paid for his groceries and walked away.

"See you next time," Amber called after him lustfully.

Not in the mood for WuFei's judgmental observations, whether they be justified or not, he reluctantly went straight back home. Pulling into the driveway he noticed that while he had stayed hidden in his own house, the roof had been completed. Other than that, however, the house didn't look any different.

He carried his groceries into his house. He felt like he was smuggling illegal products. After putting everything in it's rightful place, he couldn't help but curiously start to wander around, peeking through every window that faced the old house.

The weather was beautiful, beams of bright sunlight reflected against the dusty windows and the new roof looked terribly out of place next to the rotten paneling on the outer walls. Duo drifted outside, to inspect if any further progress had been made while he had been hiding out. There had been plenty of noise to indicate as much. From the porch at the back of his house, he could look over the thick hedge that separated the two yards and he had full view of the neighbor's garden, back porch and back of the house. He noticed that on that side, all the old paneling had been stripped away and the paint of the beams and banisters of the back porch was sanded off to reveal the wood was still in good condition. The back door was open and a curtain that hung in the doorway, presumably to keep insects out, blew in and out of the house at the persistence of the wind.

The quiet was alien and the sight of the house in an early stage of deconstruction, apparently abandoned, gave him a ghost-town kind of feeling; a feeling of loneliness and goosebumps.

"Hi."

"Jesus!" Duo stumbled backwards but managed to grab hold of one of the banister(s) to steady his balance, before he would fall on his ass. His eyes settled on Heero, who seemed to have come out of nowhere, standing right there in the middle of the ugly garden, looking smug. The young man was wearing an airy, white T-shirt and a pair of jeans cut off at the knees. Just above his boots, Duo spotted the bandage he had given him a few days ago, wrapped around his ankle.

"I didn't mean to startle you," the young man said with a chuckle. "I seem to be making a habit of it."

You are, it's annoying, knock it off, Duo thought bitterly.

"I haven't seen you in a while."

"I was busy," Duo bit back, even though he recognized he had no good reason to be angry.

"Yeah? Do you work at home or something?" Heero seemed genuinely interested. He brought his hand over to his forehead to protect his eyes against the rays of the sun. His fingers cast an interesting shadow across his sun)kissed complexion.

"Something like that."

"I'll get your stuff. Hold on." Heero jumped up the steps of his porch and disappeared into the old house. He emerged quickly holding the bottle of iodine Duo had lent him and a new roll of bandages, still wrapped in plastic. "I used them all up, had to redress a couple of times because of the dust and dirt. So I got you a new roll," Heero explained and he threw the items one by one over the hedge towards Duo.

Duo easily caught them in his hands and nodded his thanks. "How's your leg?" he inquired politely.

Heero smiled. It was quite an incredible smile. "It's fine. I'll live."

Duo stood by, waiting he supposed. Uncomfortably switching his weight from one foot to the other, his gaze cast to the side; meeting Heero's eyes for any extended period of time was too intense, too revealing, to himself as well as to Heero.

"Are you waiting for something?" the new neighbor asked with a smirk.

Duo shrugged. "For that beer, I guess."

Heero grinned in response, mischievously. "Oh, but it's no fun when you are expecting it." He blinked his eyes innocently.

Duo sighed, a little frustrated and concerned about the signals Heero was sending him. "Why are you doing this?"

"I don't understand."

"Why did you pick me? Why are you making this effort to become friends with me, or at all? You are only going to be here for a little while. You have another neighbor, you know? Why won't you try your luck with Bryce?"

Heero was silent for a while, just staring into him. Finally, he simply answered"Because so far you have been the nicest to me."

Duo felt his heart rupture painfully at that, the muscle no longer successfully withstanding the pressure of guilt.

"Everyone ignores me. Terry's kids throw dog shit against my property. Relena glares daggers at me. Bryce, my other neighbor, told me he doesn't want to stand next to me, afraid to get hit by lightening when God strikes me." He snorted and shook his head. "I know he was joking, but that is the only thing he has said to me and there is truth in jest. He doesn't want to be anywhere near me." His tone wasn't accusing or angry, only filled with a sad sense of acceptance.

"It's your own fault," Duo spitefully argued. "With that sign..."

"You have a cross over your front door," Heero retorted. "Every house on this block has an American flag on their porch. And since I got here, a neighbor down the street put a "vote yes on Prop 8" sign in her front yard. Now I'm not religious and I was born and raised in Japan and it's pretty obvious how I feel about proposition 8..." He paused and looked at Duo meaningfully. "Yet I don't throw dog shit, or glare at everyone and I am not afraid to stand next to anybody, even though I probably have every reason to be. How can you accuse me of doing something wrong, when I just stand up for my beliefs like everyone else here, only my beliefs happen to be different? At least I'm not being a jackass about it."

Even though Duo sympathized, he couldn't help but lash out in return"If I had moved into the gay neighborhood in the city and put a pro prop 8 sign on my door, do you think my neighbors would be gracious towards me?"

"Probably not. But then I would pity them as much as I pity you. I don't justify anyone's narrow-mindedness, not even if they are people 'like me'."

"If you pity me, why do you want to be my friend?" Duo demanded to know.

"I didn't pity you until just now." Heero's voice was mild but his white-knuckled fists betrayed how upset he was. "I thought you were different."

"You thought I was gay!"

"No. I thought you were a good man." Heero nodded curtly to punctuate his statement, then he said"Excuse me, neighbor, I have work to do." He stomped off.

Duo was stricken, he knew his face to be pale. Everything he had ever attempted and accomplished in his life was for the greater goal of being a good man, a righteous man, a man worthy of the respect of his peers and the love of God. To have that be disputed, came as a shock. But only for a second. After brief contemplation he realized Heero was right. Decency, as is becoming of a good man, is the quality that enables you to rise above, to see everyone equally and to treat everyone with respect and to not listen to that voice that whispers bad things about them in your ear, whether it be your own voice or someone else's. It felt horrible to know that someone didn't think of him as a good man and to know that it was the truth.

As it always turned out to be the case, his wise friend WuFei was right, Heero wasn't just a gay man, he was a complete person and Duo should acknowledge him as such. It was only decent. It was the right thing to do. Surely, in spite of conflicts of interest, the Bible, or God himself even, couldn't make an argument against that, right?

"Wait!" Duo called before Heero could reach his truck.

The young men turned, his hand already on the doorhandle. He looked impatient, yet curiosity and hope shone through the hardened layer that had formed on his formerly soft and friendly features. As requested, he waited.

Duo jogged by the side of his house to the front yard and stepped over the low bushes that separated his driveway from Heero's.

"You're right," he admitted as he came to stand in front of the expectant young man. "I haven't been a good man to you. I'll be honest, the gay... 'thing' makes me uncomfortable. It is confusing because there is a disconnect between what I personally feel is right and what I have been taught is right. And I feel like I am being offensive and disrespectful by choosing my own personal view over the perspective of God and the Bible and Church. But I don't think you should be ignored. And I don't think you deserve to have dog shit thrown at your sign. And I don't think people should be afraid to stand next to you. And maybe," Duo bit his lip. "Maybe I am right and the other perspective is... please don't make me say it. I can't say God is wrong," he pleaded.

The ice in Heero's eyes melted away. He appeared amused by Duo's monologue and his confession of confusion. A smile formed to match the glitter in his eyes. His whole body became relaxed and his hand slipped from the doorhandle.

Duo felt exposed under Heero's stare. He was panting a little, still catching his breath after running his mouth. Heero made his breath hitch in surprise with a single, simple enough request.

"How about that beer?"

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><p><strong>Let me know what ya'll think :P<strong>

**Beta: CaramelAriana (Thankyouthankyouthankyou!)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Snowdragonct: I'm glad you like him :) I took sort of a leap changing his character like this, but I personally thought it was a welcome change :P I'm sorry it took me this long to update, but I hope you will enjoy this chapter nonetheless :) Thank you for reviewing again :)**

**Aida: Thank you so much!**

**spider-jen: What a great compliment, thank you very much :)**

**MILHARU: I'm so sorry it took me this long to update! :S I'm really trying my best :)**

**Frayedsoul: I hope this chapter was still worth the wait, even though the wait was extra long this time :S Thank you so much for reviewing, I'm really happy to read you are enjoying their change in characterization :)**

**Eternal-Shinigami27: Sorry you had to wait this long, but I hope you will still enjoy the chapter :)**

**Badydex: Haha! I sincerely hope that I will not disappoint you :)**

**Hikaru Itsuko: I'm so happy you are enjoying the story! Thank you so much reviewing :)**

**ffreeloader: Thank you for reviewing :) I write whenever I can, I understand and apologize that that might not be as frequently as you, as a reader, would prefer, but I'm trying my hardest :)**

**Tyra Kinami: Thank you so much :) I hope you will enjoy this update :)**

**jeangreymullinsjr: another long awaited update, hopefully this one won't disappoint either. Thank you for reviewing again, I'm really grateful :)**

**Jisa: Thank you! Time two :P Designing houses is actually one of my hobbies, after I decided not to study interior design but psychology instead. I like using the houses I've designed for my stories :P**

**Angel Ran: Thank you so much :) I really hope you will enjoy this update and I do sincerely apologize for the long wait.**

**Crucified Love: I'm very happy to read that Warheads drew you to my other stories as well, what a great compliment, thank you very much :) I really enjoy writing Heero in a different way, I loved the Warheads-version, which was more true to the series, but variety is the spice of life :P**

**CirckleKV12: Thank you for reviewing again, it's always great to hear from you :) I'm sorry it took me so long to update, but I hope the chapter was worth it, at the very least, Duo is decidedly less douchy in this one :)**

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><p><strong>Author's note:<strong>

**VERY IMPORTANT: This story has not been beta'd! You have to make due with my admittedly challenged understanding of English grammar :S My beta, the much appreciated CaramelAriana, is experiencing technical difficulties, so she currently doesn't have much opportunity to beta my chapters. Because I have updates for all my stories lying in wait, I've decided, with her approval, to update all stories pre-beta (just giving them an extra proofread myself to weed out the most embarrassing errors to the best of my abilities). When she finds the time and a working computer, she will beta them after the fact and I will replace them with the new and improved version when she is finished with them. I figured this way you wouldn't have to wait any longer for a new chapter and hopefully the spelling errors won't be too bad. I hope this compromise suits you :)**

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><p><strong>Love Thy Neighbor<strong>

**Three**

Still very much caught up in a surprised stupor, Duo trailed his footsteps straight through the front lawn as he followed Heero to the house. Using the stepladder in the absence of the front porch, he climbed inside the old house. Inside it smelled of dust and paint stripper. The hallway was narrow and dark but opened up on three sides to bright, airy rooms. Straight ahead was the oversized kitchen, with the back door that was covered by an old curtain. To the right was a den, the windows of it facing Duo's own house, and an office. To the left was a spacious living room and beyond that a formal dining room. Against the wall was a cot with a thin mattress and thick blankets and some personal affects scattered around.

He paused momentarily to peek, but as Heero's hollow footsteps got further away he boxed up his curiosity and went after Heero, to the kitchen, passing by a staircase with rotten and mostly broken steps.

The old kitchen cabinets were still there, dirty and askew. But a small breakfast area to the right had been cleaned up and there was a small, plastic table with two fold-out chairs and in the corner a brand new, small refrigerator that filled the space with a dull hum.

The silence had lasted for far too long, well into the uncomfortable, so even though he really didn't feel like having a conversation - really not having anything of meaning to say after his uneasy monologue of before - he knew he had to say something. He decided on the obvious: "You have a lot of work ahead of you."

Just mere steps away from the refrigerator, Heero turned around to flash Duo that impressive smile of his. "Yeah," he concurred. "I love it."

"Really?" Duo replied with the proper amount of disbelief as he eyed the peeling wallpaper and stained tiles with disgust. In many places the dry-walling was cracked and he had noticed earlier that the ceiling in the hallway had been torn away. Both the living room and the den were covered in a dirty, horrible, grey carpet and mismatched floral wallpaper that probably wasn't always that peculiar shade of brown. The staircase was a disaster and upstairs had just looked like a black hole. Everything was covered in dust and cobwebs hugged all corners and window frames. The back yard was completely overgrown by ominous looking dens and tall weeds and the grass had turned a dead brown. The outside of the house was covered with rotten paneling.

None of this struck Duo as something even remotely fun.

Heero got two bottles of beer out of the refrigerator and opened them before handing one to Duo. "You can sit down, if you want," Heero said, clearly amused by Duo's awkwardness. He promptly took a seat in one of the two chairs and with his foot he pushed out the other chair, inviting Duo to join him.

With a soft, surrendering sigh, Duo sat down, holding the cold beer in his lap, rubbing his thumb up and down the condensed glass. Too embarrassed to look directly at Heero, he scanned the room once more. He confessed to Heero that living and dealing with these kind of situations didn't exactly match with his idea of a good time.

Heero shrugged, never losing that smile. He looked around the room himself and noted: "For some people, it is hard to see how great something can be, if it isn't already."

Duo found that to be uncomfortably philosophical.

"I just love it, you know?" Heero continued wistfully. "To take something that people don't see the beauty of and show them it has always been beautiful, even when they couldn't see it. This house is amazing, people are just unimaginative, that's all."

"But you're not?"

"I like to think so. I like to think that I have vision. That I see things the way they are and the way they could be," he placed the bottle against his smirking lips and tilted it back for a drink.

Duo took a large swig himself, gripping his hand tightly around the bottle, afraid that he might drop it because of the condensation and his sweaty palms. "So, where did you learn to do all this construction work?"

"I learned it on the job. I started with a small, easy project and worked my way up from there. All the way up to a 'mess' like this."

With a frown Duo wondered: "What kind of projects?"

"This will be the ninth house that I will reconstruct."

This surprised Duo, causing him to draw up his eyebrows to convey as much. "Really?"

Heero chuckled at Duo's shock. "Yeah, I'm what they call a 'flipper'. I buy rundown properties for a low price, live in them while I fix them up - for cheap because most things I do myself - and then I sell them for a preposterous profit." He grinned at Duo. "Really, it's insane."

"Wow. So you do this non-stop? You don't have a house of your own? I mean: one that you didn't buy only to resell again."

"Nope."

"That sounds so... nomadic... so detached..." Duo commented with a frown, he wasn't sure yet how he felt about that.

"I guess. It's not something that I plan on doing forever. But for now I'm having fun with it and I don't feel like I need anything else in my life for now." He briefly turned his face away, but when he looked back, the smile was strong again.

"What do your friends think about this? Or... your boyfriend?"

"My friends come to visit me, actually, some of them live quite close to here... and I don't have a boyfriend..."

"Oh..." What was he supposed to say? He realized it had been stupid to ask him that, to steer the conversation in that direction. Yet, for some intangible reason, he had been curious.

Heero sighed and leaned in, drawing Duo's gaze to him. "Duo, I'm not looking for a relationship. And if you're straight, I respect that. I promise I won't try anything with you." He finished by renewing his smile.

The topic made Duo only feel more uncomfortable, but he supposed Heero meant well and if he would keep that promise, that might make him feel more at ease in the long run. Although he feared that whether or not Heero 'tried anything' would be irrelevant, just the way he was innocently smiling at him was... magnetic. He simply replied: "Thanks." To quickly change the subject, he inquired how long Heero had been doing the 'flipping'.

Heero thought briefly, maybe counting the years in his head. "Almost five years."

Duo focused on Heero's face. The new neighbor couldn't be much older than twenty-five, meaning that he would have started his lifestyle at quite an early age. "How old are you?" The question more or less blurted out.

"Twenty-five," Heero answered playfully challenging.

Good guess, Duo complimented himself.

"How old are you?" He shot back with a grin.

The answer suddenly caused Duo embarrassment and he was reluctant to tell Heero. For some reason, Heero made Duo wish he was younger, maybe because he was jealous of the free life the young man had conquered for himself and how much he was able to enjoy that. Duo had only asserted his freedom a few years ago, when he finally worked up the courage to change his life, but he had never gotten much enjoyment out of it. A second chance at life would be so nice. Rather than answering him, Duo just asked another question, sincerely interested. "What made you start doing this at twenty? How does a twenty-year-old have the funds and drive to begin something like this?"

Heero allowed him to avoid answering his earlier question. His smile faded and his eyes dulled to a sadness, but with calm acceptance. "When I was nineteen both my parents died. Wrapped their car around a tree. My dad was killed on impact. My mom was rushed to the hospital but the only thing that kept her alive was life-support. She never gained consciousness. Probably for the best. She died of massive organ failure a few days later." He shrugged, obviously trying to brush of his emotions.

Duo was impressed and touched by how candid Heero was. It was a bravery he had never known, not in others around him and not within himself. He knew what the loss of parents felt like and he briefly wondered if he should share his own story, as a way to return the favor of Heero's openness, but he decided very quickly that he wasn't brave enough for that.

"I don't precisely know what drove me to start doing this, but my dad left me all their savings. I needed to do something with that money and I needed to do something with myself, keep myself busy. So I dropped out of business school and started doing this." He chuckled and added: "Man, if my dad wasn't already dead by then, that sure would have done it."

"Wow," Duo breathed and he took a slow and thoughtful sip from his beer.

Heero smiled at him kindly. "I just thought I'd tell you something real. And something not-gay."

Again, the best response seemed to be: "Thank you." After a scraped of his throat, he added, in an attempt to be comforting: "I'm sure your parents are proud of you."

"From up in Heaven?" Heero sounded a bit skeptical.

Duo shrugged, not really feeling like getting into a religious debate, especially since their convictions were so opposite.

Heero looked down at his beer, with his thumb he pensively circled the opening. "I don't think so..." He said softly.

Duo prepared himself for a useless discussion, one he had had more than he cared to remember with WuFei. But Heero's words leveled Duo's defensiveness. Rather than arguing that he did not believe in heaven - and possibly neither did his parents - he said:

"My parents were very accepting of my sexuality, ever since I told them. I've had some... nasty people come up to me since their death and tell me that God punished them for accepting me for the sinner that I am."

Duo didn't know what to say, he was stricken with a sadness that he knew intimately. At the same time, he felt nauseated, the thought that someone would say such cruel things to a young man who had lost his parents so suddenly and tragically was heartwrenching.

Heero grimaced and then suddenly looked up at him again. "Damnit, now I have made my not-gay story gay," he joked bitterly. He scraped his throat and seemed to need a moment to get a handle on his emotions.

Duo wasn't amused by the attempted joke, he felt sorry for him; in the expressive blue eyes of his neighbor he could see a familiar pain. "I don't mind. For what it's worth, it sounds like your parents were wonderful people. I don't pretend to know how God works, but I assume he will not have punished them for their kindness."

Heero smiled again, brightly and warmly, it was mesmerizing. "Thanks."

It seemed afterward Heero was as eager for small talk as Duo was, to alleviate the heavy atmosphere between them. They mostly discussed Heero's plans for the renovation. He spoke with devotion and enthusiasm and Duo found himself following Heero's elegant, long-fingered hands as he gestured around himself, getting caught up in the topic. Duo was having a moderately good time, although still weighted by what he had said outside, by Heero's truck, what Heero had told him about his parents and the overall newness of talking to him - to anyone really - so freely.

Heero was very easy to talk to and interesting to look at. His face was always focused, like everything he did and everything he talked about he was so passionate about that it deserved his undivided attention. He had the same expression whenever Duo briefly had something to say, like everything Duo said mattered, was of actual importance.

Still, when Duo took the last sip from his beer, he felt compelled to end the social event, already being overwhelmed by everything he had experienced so far.

Not forcing anything, Heero walked him back to the front door without judgment and he remained standing in the doorway as Duo walked back to his own house. He could feel the intense gaze on his back. When he reached his front porch he turned and offered the neighbor a halfhearted wave.

Heero returned it with a smile and then closed his door, probably to resume work.

He stood on his porch, absentminded as he tried to sort through his thoughts. Suddenly he became aware that although Heero was no longer around, he could still feel eyes staring at him. With a very real sense of dread he turned around and he felt his veins swell as his heart made a powerful beat when he spotted two figures across the street, staring at him in wonder.

Relena and Terry were standing over the rose bushes that separated their yards, each on their own side, wearing aprons and matching gardening gloves.

It was almost as if he could hear their gossipy, judgmental thoughts. What struck him the most, even more so than the embarrassment and worry of what they may have been thinking, was the guilt. Guilt that Heero must be feeling like that all the time: watched and judged and talked about behind his back.

He formed his most convincing smile and waved at the women.

Terry waved back, albeit a little cautiously. Relena's lips were already moving with softly spoken words. Whatever she said, when she was done, Terry raised her eyebrows and looked sideways at her with a frown.

He used to feel safe in this neighborhood, with a due sense of privacy. But standing on his front porch under the watchful eyes of the two ladies, Duo didn't feel particularly at ease. He opened his door and hurried inside, firmly shutting it behind him. His thoughts sped up like a runaway train as he desperately wondered what the two women would be saying at that very moment, while he was standing in his hallway, his hand still on the lock.

He didn't want anybody to read too much into his newfound kindness towards the new neighbor. He was just being a good man, as Heero pointed out he had neglected to be one until recently. He didn't want nasty rumors to spread. Those were relentless and potentially devastating.

He went through the grind of the continuation of the day as usual, whilst trying to distract himself from unwelcome thoughts and feelings. He couldn't ignore the sounds of his neighbor, working to strip the rotten paneling off the side of the house. With each crack he had to refrain himself from wincing. It sounded like his resolve breaking, resolve that had kept him going, had kept him protected, from others as well as himself.

He walked out of the office - of which the window provided only view of the driveway, front yard and front of the old house - and moved to his kitchen, nestled in the back of the house, overlooking the entire side, back porch and most of the garden. He made a sandwich, which - judging by the hour - social norms would term as 'dinner'. As he prepared and ate it, his eyes kept finding the window. The sun was on the retreat, sinking closer and closer to the horizon, its rays turning a warm orange. Heero was high up on a ladder, propped up against the side of the house. With a crowbar and strong, jerking moves of his bare arms, he ripped the panels off one by one. When he raised his arms above his head to reach higher panels, his shirt would ride up, exposing the small of his back that had a gleam of sweat on the golden skin.

Duo stuffed his mouth with the last, large bite from his sandwich and scurried back into his office, decisively drawing the thick curtains.

To keep up appearances - that he was, for a fact, a writer - he picked up his empty notebook and his 'lucky pen'. It was useless though. There were no words, let alone sentences. There was no story. When he closed his eyes, there was only Heero. After staring at his face for thirty minutes as he politely slowly made his way through a bottle of beer, the features had become imprinted on his retina, the way you could still see the brightness of the sun after you've looked directly at it, when you've closed your eyes.

This was not good, Duo recognized.

Later in the week, he deemed enough time had passed to justify a visit to the bookstore. He grabbed his bag and before he left the house he tucked his own book into it, determined to return it to the store, to get it out of his house so the sheer thought of it being there couldn't disturb and mock him. It was like having a report card with an A+ average being stuck to the fridge, after you've just received your umpteenth F. Instead of the former glory being a comfort, it was a mockery: you will never live up to expectations, ever again. And everyone will always be disappointed in you, no matter how hard you try, because they will always compare you to that unattainable moment of excellence - that turned out to be nothing more than a fluke.

He stepped outside and instantly noticed Heero's red truck was missing, because every time he went outside, the first thing he did was turn his head to right to look at the house. He had successfully convinced himself that he only did this to monitor the progress of the renovation. Sadly, he was all too aware that conviction did not exclude the possibility of deceit. But he did not allow his thoughts to wander down that lane.

He got into his car and drove to the bookstore. He couldn't deny a mild sense of pride at the opportunity to inform his preachy friend that he had been most kind to the new neighbor, in spite of warring beliefs and lifestyles.

The bell rang as he pushed the door open and as always his wheelchair-bound friend emerged from between the low bookshelves.

"If it isn't my best customer," WuFei commented dryly.

"Well, you know how fast I read." He casually started strolling through the aisles, though not particularly paying attention to the titles or the authors.

"I do know. That is why I'm surprised it took you this long. It's been over a week, have you been hiding from me?" WuFei had an annoyingly smug smirk on his face.

"No..." Duo amended: "Initially, maybe, but now I have no reason to."

"Really, feeling confident you can withstand the wrath of my justice?" WuFei rolled after him as Duo kept crisscrossing through the store.

"I had a drink with Heero the other day," Duo informed him casually.

WuFei's momentary silence pleased him, as did the unbridled surprise in his voice. "Really?"

"Sure did."

"Please don't tell me you gave him the preach."

Duo turned around to scowl at him. "I did not."

"Good."

"That is why I brought this." Duo brought his shoulder bag around and zipped it open and pulled out the book with his own name on it in embarrassingly large print. "I've learned my lesson."

"I highly doubt it. Keep it."

"I really don't want it." He stubbornly put it in an empty space on a shelf.

WuFei sighed, exacerbated and took the book and placed it in his lap before following Duo to the front of the store. He put the book upright on a display in the window. "Who knows," he mused, "maybe we'll sell the last copies."

"It stands better luck in the marked-down bin." With a heavy sigh Duo seated himself in one of the chairs.

"It's a good book, Duo," the Chinese man dutifully reminded him.

"Well, I blew the chance of it ever having a sequel. My life may have been repressed and horrible before I turned it upside down, at least it was good material. How am I supposed to write another book when the majority of my experiences take place between the picket fence of my front lawn and the hedge of my backyard and they don't get much more exciting than the very brief coiling of my gut as I ask the really important question of life: Did I turn off the coffee machine?"

WuFei chuckled but Duo's words, though intended to amuse him, were nothing but cold hard truth.

"I'm serious, sometimes I go check if it's off two or three separate times, just to have something to do."

"Well, life is about fulfilling needs and desires. If you have everything, what purpose is there left?"

Duo frowned. "But do I really have everything? I don't think I do."

WuFei smirked. "I'm glad you said it. You, my friend," he leaned in and patted my knee, "need a life. You could start by making some new friends," he said suggestively.

Duo glared at him. "You mean Heero? That's not such a good idea."

"Why not? Isn't having drink one of the critical precursors to being friends? The way the cruel torture of animals in youth or teens is one of the precursors to psychopathy?"

"You encourage me to make friends by drawing comparisons between that and animal cruelty and psychopaths?" Duo shook his head. "No. I realize now that I should have been nice and welcoming from the start and I have no reason not to continue my positive attitude towards this new neighbor. But becoming friends is too much, no matter how much you and him desire it. No, I'm just going to lay the basis for a few months of polite nods and fleeting greetings and the occasional exchange of produce and then it is best that when Heero moves, he is completely and irreversibly out of my life."

Wufei threw his hands up in frustration. "Don't you see how telling it is how much you want to keep people like him at an arm's length?"

Duo pointed at him angrily. "Don't start this discussion with me again!"

"How can I not?! It is so frustrating!"

Duo shook his head, frustrated, unable to meet his friend's eyes. "I thought we had agreed not to try to convince one another anymore of our own beliefs."

"Duo, I'm not trying to convince you to believe whether or not some higher entity exists and if there was or wasn't a Jesus and a guy that parted the freaking Red Sea," WuFei paused to take a deep breath. "I'm trying to get you to believe in your own identity and that no one who matters is going to think less of you when you finally accept the truth!"

"No, not the truth," Duo rose to his feet and warningly looked down at WuFei. "Your interpretation of the truth. I gotta go," he said out of breath and then he stormed out of the store.

"Duo," WuFei called after him pleadingly, "wait a second, come on!"

WuFei was the only one who could get under his skin like that. WuFei always argumentatively claimed that was because he had a tendency to confront Duo with even the most unwelcome truth. However, Duo's standard response to that was that WuFei just had the tendency to be a thick-headed jackass. Admittedly, that was a case of the pot calling the kettle black.

The only way Duo could deal with it was remove himself from the situation. They had attempted for this conversation to proceed in a civil, non-judgmental manner before, but had never succeeded. It was hard not to take offense when your best friend continuously expressed his belief that you were gay, when you, yourself, adamantly believed this to be untrue.

The way WuFei always brought it up gave the impression that he thought the whole situation was clear-cut and uncomplicated, but it just wasn't. That he didn't acknowledge that was both frustrating and hurtful.

Muttering under his breath Duo drove straight back. Adding to his annoyance was the realization, halfway home, that he hadn't even purchased a new book to keep himself occupied. With sharp, angry movements he turned the wheel and steered his car into his dead-end street. It was a Saturday and weather-wise it was an exceptionally beautiful day and most residents were outside, working in their gardens. Men mowed lawns and washed cars. Women tended to delicate flowers and washed the windows. His direct neighbors were no different. He pulled into his driveway and as soon as he got out of his vehicle, one of them called his name to draw his attention.

Duo followed the voice and his gaze found Bryce, casually holding the water hose as he washed soap bubbles off his shiny sedan. The impish, nerdy-looking man waved him over.

Reluctantly, he walked past the old house, suppressing the urge to look around for the new neighbor, having noticed - instantly - the return of the red truck, and approached Bryce.

"Hi there, neighbor!" Bryce greeted with his usual enthusiasm.

"Hello." Duo couldn't muster the energy to be anything more than fundamentally polite. His voice was flat and his face probably betrayed his disinterest as his mind was still occupied with the brief but confrontational discussion with his oldest friend.

"I hear you've been making new friends," he commented glibly. Unconsciously he cast a glance towards the source of this information.

Duo followed his look and spotted Terry arguing with Michael, who seemed to have accidentally run his lawnmower over some of her flowers. Surprisingly, her conjoined twin - joined at their nosy personalities - Relena was nowhere to be seen.

"Good news travels fast," Duo remarked sarcastically.

"Well, I hope you're not getting too attached!" Bryce said with a grin.

"Why? Is he leaving?" He stole a glance at the house. He didn't see Heero anywhere and for some reason it bugged him that Heero would not always be there for him to see. That was a very strange realization, but he tucked it away and hoped to forget about it.

"If it's up to us he soon will be."

Duo looked back at his neighbor with a deep frown. "What do you mean?"

Bryce shrugged and moved the spray of the hose to rinse the glossy, silver rims. "It was only a matter of time. The Neighborhood Association is meeting tonight and from what I've heard, we all agree that he has to go."

Duo nearly choked on his own tongue as he fought to contain his shocked and displeased reaction. It was successful, his "excuse me?" came out very mild.

"Yes, we agreed it was the only logical course of action. Political beliefs like Heero's and his lifestyle have no place in a decent neighborhood like this. You know how it goes, if the vote is unanimous amongst the present members, we put in a request at city hall to force him to sell and move away from the neighborhood. Thanks to Tom's influences it's been successful almost every time."

Duo felt that his face was pale but he hoped Bryce wouldn't think too much of it.

"Besides," he added with a chuckle, "who would want to live in a neighborhood where no one wants you? The only time our request went unheeded, the old hag moved out voluntarily. Man, she had a lot of cats... it was just unsanitary," he mused absentmindedly.

"When and where is the meeting?" Duo innocently inquired.

Bryce blinked at him, momentarily stunned but then his face broke into that silly smile again. "You really want to join us? It would be the first time." He raised his hand and patted Duo's shoulders. "This is great though, it's good for you to be involved in the wellbeing of the neighborhood. Of course you must also feel strongly about the subject."

"Yes, very strongly," Duo replied ambiguously.

"Well you are more than welcome to join us. Relena is hosting. The meeting starts at eight."

"I'll be there." He started to walk back to his house.

"Great! But uh, don't tell him," Bryce added in a hushed tone.

"Don't worry, I have no intention of doing so." He didn't. He didn't see the use of informing Heero of this conspiracy, that would be unnecessarily hurtful. With a heavy feeling in his gut he locked himself in his house and waited impatiently for time to pass, all the while getting increasingly nervous. But he was determined. Determined to be a good man and make up for his previous shortcomings.

When the time came he changed into something a little bit more presentable and made his way across the street. He ran into Bryce and Brooke - cradling their young child in her arms - on the pathway up to Relena's house and Bryce patted his shoulder in a brotherly way.

"Are you okay? You look a little tense," he observed.

Duo shrugged. "Fine."

"Look, I understand your reservations, I have them too. It's not a very nice thing to do, but just think of it this way: he would be much happier somewhere else anyway."

"Well," Duo cautiously started, "if we make him sell the house, he probably won't get a return on his investment, mid-renovation the house will likely sell for less than he paid for it."

"That's his problem," Bryce stated and then rang the bell.

Relena opened the door with a big, welcoming smile. "Hey you guys! Duo, I'm glad you will be joining us! Brooke... your baby girl looks more beautiful everyday and so do you!" She leaned in to kiss the other woman and admire the baby, then she led us into the house.

In the living room many of the residents of the neighborhood had gathered, the women were seated on the couches and chairs, leaning forward, towards each other as they conversed. The men had claimed their territory by the fireplace, drinks in hand, simultaneously bursting into hearty laughter. Duo joined them and was offered a drink, but he refused, knowing full well that what he was about to do would not earn him any friends or favors.

The mingling continued till well past eight, when the meeting was supposed to start. Duo had a hard time focusing on the bland conversation that evolved around business, the stock exchange and - inevitably - sports.

Eventually, Relena called: "Everyone, please gather around."

Everyone formed a large circle around Relena who had taken position in the center of the living room, Carlton at her side. "It's great to see so many of you came. Obviously this is a very important issue in our neighborhood. The point that we will be addressing today, is our new neighbor, who moved into the house across the street a few weeks ago. Of course everyone is allowed their own opinion, but Mister Yuy is so shameless about broadcasting his beliefs and lifestyle that it has caused us all serious concern. Now, Mister Yuy has no intention to become a permanent resident, his objective is only to renovate the house and then sell it for a profit," she said this with a grimace as if this was a despicable act. "Mister Yuy clearly has no attachment to this neighborhood, his presence is only a harmful threat to the quiet and peaceful atmosphere. Therefore, I would like for us all to vote. If we unanimously agree that this neighborhood will be better off without Mister Yuy, Tom" she gestured to the chubby, bald man in the crowd, "will put in a request at city hall to force Mister Yuy to sell and relocate. Would anyone like to further discuss this issue before we vote?"

Heads shook 'no'.

"Alrighty," Relena clasped her hands together, loving being in control and at the center of everyone's attention. "Now the rules are simple: you vote by raising your hand. You can also choose not to vote. And it has to be unanimous. But that shouldn't be a problem," she chuckled. "Everyone in favor of forcing Mister Yuy to sell and move out, please vote now by raising your hand."

Promptly, everyone's right hand was thrust towards the ceiling. The only one to withhold from voting was Carlton, stoically standing beside his wife.

Relena let out another chuckle, sounding like an evil queen from fairy tales. "Okay then, I think that settles it, but just to be official: everyone who would like to vote against this motion, raise your hand." With a smile Relena looked around the room, expecting to see no hands go up.

Most residents sat quietly, others had already picked up the conversation that had been interrupted by the voting.

With a quickened heart rate, furiously tucking away last-second doubts, he took a deep breath and then slowly raised his hand, sweaty palm open.

Relena's gaze almost missed him, passing him by only to quickly settle back on him. With disgust and shock her eyes trailed up his arm and glared at his hand, high above his head. An impatient, fake smile appeared on her pretty face. "Duo," she hissed, drawing the attention of the others to him, "this is an official voting, not an appropriate time to joke, don't you agree?"

Duo lowered his hand, confident that he had made his point. "I'm not joking. This is my vote. I vote against this motion." He scanned the room with nervous eyes, noting the disdain and the deep frowns.

"Duo..." Relena tried to remain nice, but venom stained her tone of voice. "You know the vote needs to be unanimous."

"Yes, I do. I believe that was decided in the very first meeting, a decision that was made irreversible."

She practically fumed. "We didn't expect it to ever be an issue, as we thought we could trust each other," she hissed.

"You've been trying to dance around this rule ever since by only inviting those people you expect to agree with your point and then whatever you decide on is enforced without the other residents ever knowing anything about the issue and what has been done about it."

Relena scoffed at the accusation, even though everyone in the room knew it was the truth.

"I'm not betraying you," Duo addressed to everyone. "I'm making the right decision on behalf of all of you. Trust me. Heero - sorry, Mister Yuy - is only going to be here for a few months anyway and then the house will be nicely fixed up for someone to buy whom you will approve of and he will be gone." Seeing the present residents respond to this logic, he continued: "If we make him leave, the house will probably take forever to sell, being mid-renovation, if at all. Hasn't it been a thorn in everyone's eye all this time? If we let him fix it up, it will look good, no longer drag down the appeal of the street, and it will probably sell like that," he snapped his fingers to make his point and felt relief wash over him as heads started to nod in agreement. This was a necessary part of his defense as otherwise Relena would just call another meeting and not invite him. For logistical reasons not everyone's vote was required, only thirty residents had to be present and vote unanimously for a decision to be enforced. Seeing as most neighbors had shown up and he had managed to convince a good amount of them to vote against in the future, the motion was settled. Voices in the crowd started up again as people nodded their heads and vocally expressed their agreement.

"Fine," Relena growled. She turned to the rest of the group and summed up: "The vote is not unanimous. Mister Yuy can stay."

Duo wasn't really sure why he had taken such a big risk to stand up for Heero, but he felt good about it, he knew he had done the right thing.

Feeling decidedly unwelcome, Duo made a quick exit. He still had the jitters but he felt good about standing up for what he knew was right. The reasoning that he had offered at the meeting was not untrue, but also wasn't the entire truth. More importantly, he just didn't want Heero to have to suffer through being voted off and all the consequences that came with it. And also - maybe - he would miss him.

Duo shook his head and stopped that train of thought. Despite what happened at the meeting, Heero would be leaving anyway, he shouldn't get too attached to the new neighbor.

He realized that what he did that night made him as much of a good man as it made him a troubled. Unjust as it was, it had been the perfect opportunity to remove Heero and everything he had been feeling about Heero, from his life. Yet it never even occurred to him to go along with the vote for that sake. He wondered how much of that decision was actually influenced by a desire to the right thing and what portion of it was influenced by all kinds of wrong things he had been suppressing all this time.

"Duo."

Duo turned around on his porch at the deep voice that called his name. He spotted Carlton standing just by the first step. He sighed and started apologetically: "I didn't mean to cause you trouble with your wife-"

"Are you kidding me?" Carlton interrupted. "That was awesome! She is still cursing, it's hilarious."

Even though he and Carlton got along well, the positive reaction still surprised him. He expected the man - in spite of everything - to take his wife's side on the matter. "You're welcome?" He offered hesitantly.

"I was just wondering if we're still on for next week. Figured I should check with you because you didn't mention it."

He fumbled with his keys, remembering the painful discussion he had with WuFei. "WuFei and I sort of had a fight."

Carlton shrugged. "You guys fight all the time. Look, if you don't patch up things before next Saturday, let me know, but until then I'm going to assume we're still on."

"That's fine."

"Goodnight, man." Carlton waved halfheartedly and then went back to his furious wife, who was impatiently waiting for him in the doorway of their perfect American home.

"Goodnight." He turned back to his front door to unlock it, but froze as he caught a glimpse of a silhouette in the lit up window of the neighboring house. He squinted his eyes and recognized Heero.

Heero raised his hand in a wave.

Duo waved back but then quickly disappeared into his hallway. He wondered if Heero knew what had transpired that evening. Obviously all the activity at the house across the street must have drawn his attention. He wasn't sure what he worried about most. That Heero would find out that the other neighbors wanted to kick him off the block, or that Heero would find out he single-handedly prevented it. He didn't want Heero to have any reason to break the promise he had made him earlier. That would only make the new neighbor... even more irresistible.

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><p><strong>I hope that was worth the wait. Excuse any spelling-errors, it's the best I could do.<strong>

**I don't know if Neighborhood Associations work the same way in the United States, but for the sake of the plot I decided to apply what I know to be the case here, in the more fancy/old neighborhoods: NA's can vote for someone to be forced to sell and move. Of course this can not be done idly, city hall has to agree that the reason is just, but I danced around that with their inside man, "Tom". If this does not apply to the United States, where I've set the story, I apologize.** **I hope however that you'll recognize that it is only a minor plotpoint, so hopefully no one will take offense.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Loveless8: I'm so happy to read you are enjoying this story, I hope to be able to keep up the good work :) Thank you for reviewing :)**

**Guest: I also have negative associations with NA's, but that is exactly why I thought it would be an interesting addition to the story, there has to be drama, right? :P Thank you for reviewing and for being patient with my admittedly slow update rate :S**

**CircleKV12: I'm very happy you liked the chapter. I won't say anything about the story, but I think this chapter explains a little bit why Duo puts up with WuFei's accusations. I hope you will continue to read and review, I always enjoy hearing from you :) Thank you :)**

**jeangreymullinsjr: I just have to say, each time I see your avatar, it makes me smile! Sorry for the cliffy, it's a guilty pleasure :P I've looked up the movie and I definitely see the similarities, I didn't really like the movie though :S Sorry this update took so long, but I hope you will enjoy it. Thank you for reviewing :)**

**TKM: Thank you very much :)**

**Frayedsoul17: Thank you very much for your review, it's very kind as well as very insightful, it's good to read that you seem to be very involved in the plot and the characters. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me, I hope you will like this update :)**

**Hikaru Itsuko: Thank you for your kind review :) I hope you will enjoy this chapter**

**The Yaoi Pimpette: Thank you, I hope this one will have been worth the wait also :)**

**Zethsaire: It seems some things are the same everywhere, particularly annoying things seem to be that way anyway :S Thank you for reviewing :)**

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><p><strong>Author's note:<strong>

**Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. This chapter is unbeta'd.**

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><p><strong>Love Thy Neighbor <strong>

**Four**

Relena, Terry and Bryce shunned him after his betrayal. Even though he knew he did the right thing, he felt like a Judas. But he didn't act against the righteous, Duo only aimed to protect and honor it. In that he found some form of solace, although his new neighbor sometimes made it hard on him to fight off regret. After all, by keeping Heero on the street, he had put himself in an uncomfortable, potentially dangerous situation. On top of that, Heero seemed to know something had happened and for some reason that motivated the young man to seek out contact with Duo more frequently. Duo wasn't sure if he knew what had happened and if it was his way of showing gratitude, or if he was just trying to figure out what was going on. Regardless, Heero seemed keen to up the ante.

Normally - when the house next door was unoccupied - Duo could find peace and quiet on his back porch, watching the sun set, now it had become common practice for Heero to hand him a bottle of beer over the hedge separating the two yards and engaging in deceptively meaningless conversation. But it wasn't meaningless, nor without purpose, Duo knew. Heero was solidifying their friendship. To put it in construction terms - that would please the young Japanese man - he had first leveled the ground and was now pouring concrete for a sturdy foundation. Lord knows what kind of structure he aimed to built on top of that.

A love shack, Duo feared, even as he recognized how arrogant it was to just assume Heero would want any sort of romantic involvement with him. Judgmental too, seeing as Heero had perfectly upheld his promise of not 'coming on to him'. Duo pretended he didn't feel a smidgen of disappointment about that.

Really, what significance did a shared beer with a hedge between them hold? He was being paranoid, but so far, paranoia had kept him out of trouble.

With all the confusion in his head and Heero frequently walking around the yard bare-chested, Duo welcomed the escape that that one Saturday a month offered him. He had not spoken to WuFei since the argument, nothing had really been resolved, but he trusted his friend would not bring it up and would rather pretend the confrontation had never happened, like he would.

A kind of childlike enthusiasm came over him as he dressed into an old pair of jeans and a sweat shirt he used to work out in. Last month they had had to cancel because Carlton had a business trip and they couldn't find a replacement on short notice, seeing as both WuFei and Duo had a limited circle of friends, especially the kind willing to spend their Saturdays the way they liked to do.

It would take his mind off things and that was all he could hope for.

He had just finished tying his tennis shoes when he heard WuFei's van pull into the driveway. He jumped to his feet and headed out the front door to greet him, his heart rate picking up a little in anticipation of seeing him for the first time since the fight.

WuFei had parked his black van behind Duo's sedan. The van had been modified so he could control everything with his hands, rather than relying on foot pedals for speed and brakes. He usually kept his wheelchair in the passenger seat for easy access, he only put it in the back if he had a passenger. Duo noted the wheelchair in the front seat, though not irregular, that was unexpected.

Because it was kind of a hassle to get out of the car for only a brief stop, WuFei just threw the door open to greet Duo.

"Hey man, what's up?"

Duo was relieved everything seemed to have returned to normal between them. And why would he be surprised? That is how it always was between them; an unspoken agreement to pretend confrontations like that had never happened, until next time of course. "Fine." He nodded to the chair in the front seat. "Where is Alex, is he meeting us there?"

WuFei made an apologetic face. "He's not coming."

Duo would have cursed if not for his strict upbringing. He bit back his more colorful exclamations and just wondered: "Why?"

"Something came up at work," WuFei explained, he didn't seem too concerned, even though their Saturday afternoon was apparently ruined in the absence of Alex.

Having spotted the black van in Duo's driveway, Carlton crossed the street and approached them. He bumped fists with WuFei in greeting and patted Duo on the shoulder.

"Where's Alex?" He instantly inquired.

"Couldn't make it. Work," Duo answered, not veiling his disappointment.

WuFei shrugged his shoulders. "We just need another guy to fill in."

"That's easier said than done. If that was so straightforward, we wouldn't have had to cancel last time," Duo muttered. Not only was he disappointed, he was a little angry as well, couldn't WuFei have called them to let them know?

All of a sudden a smile overcame WuFei's face as he looked past both Duo and Carlton. "I don't think we'll be too hard-pressed to find a replacement."

With a frown Duo turned around and followed WuFei's smug gaze, across the lawn of the neighboring house, to the front door, where Heero had just emerged.

God's timing was questionable.

Heero gave the three of them a strange look as they had been staring. He stopped by his old truck, but as opposed to getting in, he called to them. "Something I can help you with?"

Duo felt his stomach become heavy as lead.

Heero walked up to them as WuFei waved him over. A little uncomfortable, he tucked his hands into his jeans pockets. Obviously it was a little awkward that the three of them had been shamelessly gawking at him, each with his own, odd expression, as he made his way across the yard.

WuFei extended out his hand, in between Duo and Carlton, towards Heero. "Hi, I'm WuFei, Duo's friend."

Duo hated how that made it sound like WuFei was Duo's only friend. He hated it even more that it was true. Carlton wasn't so much a friend as a necessary number three, the way Alex was a necessary number four.

Heero seemed to relax, his hands came out of his pocket and he reached out one to shake with WuFei's. "Nice to meet you, I'm Heero."

"Do you have any plans for today, Heero?"

The young man shrugged his shoulder and casually replied: "I was just going to make a trip to the store for some pain stripper and start work on the window sills."

"That's too bad," WuFei continued innocently, "you see, we had plans for today that requires a fourth person. It really doesn't work with just the three of us. We had hoped you would want to join us, but... if you're busy..."

Duo rolled his eyes, all too familiar with the game WuFei was playing. Guilt-tripping was a strategy most cunningly applied by a paraplegic, he long discovered, as WuFei had shamelessly exploited his personal tragedy in the past. Soon he would be throwing around the c-word - cripple - and Heero would cave to his every request.

Interestingly, it turned out there was no need for the ultimate pity-party. Heero aimed his gaze at Duo, hopeful, and wondered: "Really, you want me to join you?"

Great, Heero, too, knew how to play you're-a-dick-if-you-say-no-to-me like a boss. Duo stumbled as he clarified: "Not me especially but... uh... you'd be helping us out, we really need an even number."

The smile that appeared on Heero's face was breathtaking and Duo had to look away. "So, what will I be doing?"

"Nonono," WuFei interjected before Duo or Carlton could speak, "don't say anything, don't spoil it. You know how much I love seeing their faces when we get there and we open up the back of the van."

"Well, I like surprises and spontaneity, but that does make it more challenging to incorporate appropriate footwear," Heero joked lightheartedly.

"Don't worry, you're dressed just fine," Carlton assured. Of course Carlton didn't think much of the tight pair of jeans and equally fitted shirt the young neighbor was wearing, but Duo wished he would change into something less flattering and eye-catching. Although he had come to realize that Heero looked eye-catching in anything. Very bothersome.

He blinked and looked away when he realized he had been staring.

"But you might want to bring a fresh T-shirt or something," Carlton added. "We'll be getting sweaty, especially with the sun out."

"Okay, then, uh, I'll be right back." Heero jogged back to the house and disappeared inside.

As soon as he was out of sight, Duo turned back to WuFei and glared at him. "Seriously? Seriously? Why do I have a feeling Alex doesn't have a work emergency at all?"

WuFei snorted. "Oh please, like I planned this. I'm not that good. Maybe you should consider it a sign."

Carlton, completely in the dark, wondered aloud: "What are you guys talking about?"

"Nothing," WuFei and Duo answered in unison and then they shared a look.

Carlton just shrugged, not invested enough to press the matter.

WuFei asked Carlton to move his wheelchair from the passenger seat to the back of the van, meanwhile Duo and WuFei kept staring at each other, a wordless exchange of arguments. WuFei seemed smug and victorious and Duo wanted nothing more than to wipe the grin off his face. He knew he was overreacting, but he felt betrayed, not to mention disappointed and frustrated that his care-free day would end up being the opposite. Now he had to worry about Heero all day; what the young man thought of him; how he should act around him; what he should say - what he could say.

Heero returned quickly, locking the front door behind him. He carried a leather shoulder bag, with a change of clothes and a bottle of water. The same childish joy Duo had previously been experiencing seemed to have overcome the new neighbor and Duo resigned to his fate, knowing it wouldn't be right to back-paddle out of the situation.

"Heero can ride with me," WuFei announced, "Duo, you take Carlton."

Duo frowned at his friend. On one hand, he appreciated not having to sit through the thirty minute drive in the sole presence of Heero in the admittedly limited space of his sporty sedan, on the other hand he was acutely aware WuFei did not make that decision on the basis of sparing him any hardship, so he had to wonder what the devilish Chinese had up his sleeve. But since it would be suspicious to argue with him, Duo merely nodded and walked back to the sedan with Carlton, while Heero, a little apprehensive, climbed into the passenger seat of the black van. In the rear-view-mirror Duo could see them exchange smiles and words and he instantly fretted over what they could be saying.

Duo followed the black van out of the neighborhood, to the highway and off a near parkway. Beside him Carlton rattled, the neighbors had still been buzzing about the interesting turn of events at the Neighborhood's Association meeting and Carlton was loving all the controversy and drama. Luckily, he never questioned if Duo's appeal had been motivated by more than simple real estate logic. Duo knew he would be a stumbling mess trying to talk his way out of that one, seeing as he still didn't have the answers himself.

When they arrived at their destination they parked their vehicles alongside each other. As Heero took in the surroundings, Duo got out WuFei's collapsible wheelchair and set it up right next to the driver's seat so WuFei could climb into it.

"Care to venture a guess?" WuFei asked, bemused.

Heero looked at the gated basketball court before them, beyond that a tennis field and even further back an oval shaped track. At the other side of the lot was the main building. Formally, people had to sign in and ask for a key for access to the sport fields, but WuFei was head of the committee that raised the money to build everything, so he had his own key.

"Basketball?" Heero offered, hesitation evident in his tone.

As anyone would, he must be wondering how, with one of them in a wheelchair, Duo thought, but that problem had been taken care of. They invited Heero to join them behind the van and show him the contents. Heero smiled, realization dawning on him, as he looked in the back and spotted three additional, folded up wheelchairs.

"Damnit," WuFei muttered, "he isn't shocked."

Duo climbed inside to get the wheelchairs and hand them to Carlton who put them on the ground. The wheelchairs were a loan from the rehabilitation center at the other end of the field. One Saturday a month they loaned three to play wheelchair basketball with WuFei. Alex Muller was their usual fourth, he had been WuFei's physical therapist following his accident and he was quick to get WuFei involved in sports again, dragging Duo and Carlton with him. In spite of initial reluctance from all involved parties, it turned out to be fun and a good workout at that.

"Cool," Heero simply commented.

"Duo, why don't you and Carlton play one-on-one for a couple of minutes, so Heero can observe and I can explain some of the changes in the rules?" WuFei suggested as the others seated themselves in the wheelchairs.

Already feeling uncomfortable knowing Heero's eyes would be on him, he was tempted to refuse, but he knew better than to make a big deal of it. "Sure."

WuFei unlocked the gate and he and Heero rolled to the sideline and Duo and Carlton passed them and headed onto the court, Carlton having their basketball in his lap.

They started a short game to give Heero an example of what to expect. The sport was a little more intensive one-on-one, Duo noted, as he had to work harder to cover his half of the court in defense, as well as speed his way over to the other basket whenever he got possession of the ball. Heero's focused gaze didn't help matters either. To his dismay, Duo could tell that he was trying harder than usual, trying harder to play well and look good while doing it. It was so childish, it reminded him of high school. He hated high school. And was it just him or was Heero only looking at him and never at Carlton?

With the ball in his lap after stealing it away from Carlton he raced to the other side of the court. He dribbled as far as he could, but that was one of the things he found hardest about wheelchair basketball. When he reckoned he was close enough, he put the ball in his lap and grabbed both wheels. He was only allowed to touch his wheels twice, more would be considered 'traveling', so he had to push hard to cross the remaining distance. Even though in their seated position their reach was much shorter, the baskets were at regular height, so it took good aim to make a shot from way down low. With fiercely competitive eyes he watched the ball soar through the air towards the orange hoop and he felt relief and pride like never before when the ball cleanly passed through the net, a perfect shot.

"Wow, amazing!" Heero appreciated.

Duo blushed and looked away as Heero smiled at him and applauded his achievement.

"See? It's not really that different from regular basketball."

Heero nodded in agreement and seemed eager to join. "It's probably going to take me a while to get used to the chair though," he said apologetically.

"That's okay," WuFei assured him, "they are still a little clumsy at times as well. As you can imagine, I have become quite a pro. You can team up with me."

Duo was just grateful WuFei had not evilly decided to pair Heero up with him. Of course in hindsight he realized that wasn't much of an advantage to him. Members of opposing teams came into contact with each other more often than members of the same team. He often found himself in close proximity to Heero, dueling with him for possession of the ball.

Heero got used to the chair and the game quickly, adjusting almost instantly. That probably had something to do with that youthful vitality that Duo, nor WuFei, nor Carlton still had. They had only near-middle-aged vitality to rely on and it was paling in comparison. Heero also wasn't shy about stealing the ball out of someone's lap. Elbows grazing over arms and thighs to snatch the ball out of the other's lap. But even though that made Duo uncomfortable, he recognized the young man wasn't trying anything other than play the game well. He was just reading too much into it. He seemed just as vigorous in his attacks on Carlton and he didn't seem to think anything of it.

As it turned out, on top of everything else, Heero was a good shot too. In the beginning he had trouble getting close enough to the opponent's hoop, being blocked by Duo and Carlton, limited by the rules and finding long-distance dribbling as much of a challenge as Duo, but he quickly learned to bypass their defenses and the rules didn't restrain him much either once he had had some practice. By the time they agreed on a brief hydration-break, WuFei and Heero had amounted a total score of seven - three points away from winning the game. Four of those points - a free throw and a three-pointer - were Heero's. Remarkable for someone who had never been in a wheelchair before.

Just like that, Heero became 'one of the guys', at least where WuFei and Carlton were concerned. Duo was still reserved, the platonic relationship compromised by his own inner demons. Nothing Heero could be faulted for, no matter how much Duo wished that to be the case.

"You are pretty damn good at this," Carlton complimented as he reached for his bottle of water.

"Give credit where credit's due, Carl," WuFei replied playfully, "he's all kinds of awesome." He comradely patted Heero on the back.

Heero smiled, he seemed genuinely happy.

"How come you're so good at this?" Duo was a little surprised that he had even asked, but suddenly curiosity had gotten the better of him.

Heero shrugged, taking a swig from his own water bottle. "I guess I've just gotten used to playing basketball from a low angle, being short and all."

"So you've played before?"

Heero quirked an eyebrow at Duo for asking him that. "Of course. Why?"

Backed into a corner, Duo felt like he had no other option but to answer truthfully. "I didn't think you'd be into stuff like this."

"Because I'm gay?" Heero verified, his tone not accusing.

Duo didn't answer, not willing to state the obvious.

Heero smiled, appearing patient in handling Duo's bias. "Duo, not every gay guy grows up wanting an easy-bake oven for Christmas. I got dirt bikes and basketballs and skateboards and I loved all that stuff."

Duo caught the meaningful look WuFei gave him, adding to his discomfort, but he ignored it. Instead, he apologized for being judgmental.

"That's okay, no need to apologize," Heero said genuinely.

"Jesus, Duo, way to keep things casual," Carlton remarked.

"It's fine," Heero interjected, "I've had to answer questions like that all my life. I'm used to it, I'm okay with it. I only get upset when I have to tell people the same thing over and over again and they still don't see me the way I am."

WuFei nodded. "I sort of have the same thing. Since the chair, people see me differently and treat me differently. Some get used to it and after a while they don't see the chair anymore. To others I am nothing but a chair. They treat me like less of a person, they baby me or they avoid me. I hate that."

Duo thoughtfully looked away. He hadn't even considered that WuFei had had to deal with judgment and biases much like Heero. His friend had always acted so casual in regards to his physical state, Duo had been too quick in assuming everything was fine with him.

"What do you say we end this little group-therapy session and head back onto the court? Duo and I still have a two point difference to make up," Carlton suggested, probably as eager as Duo to end the surprisingly intimate conversation.

They rolled back onto the court and continued their match. As WuFei and Heero neared their ten-point win with another two points, the game became a little bit more aggressive, the chairs frequently grazed and bumped into each other. When Duo sped towards Heero to steal the ball from him as he was about to score the winning point, he miscalculated the distance, his speed and the amount of time and space he needed to avert collision. With the front of his chair he crashed into the side of Heero's wheelchair and ended up practically flying out of his seat. The momentum with which he came forward caused Heero's chair to tilt to the left and together they fell down to the concrete court.

"Holy shit!" Carlton exclaimed and he hurried to the crash site.

"I'm so sorry! Are you okay?" Duo asked, rolling off of Heero and quickly scrambling to his feet. Unbridled worry had drained all color from his complexion. Not to mention the embarrassment of landing right on top of him.

Heero, still lying on his back, chuckled. "I'm fine. Dirt bikes and skateboards, remember?" In spite of his assurance he groaned when he sat upright.

"I'm so sorry."

Heero laughed away Duo's concerns. "Don't worry about it." He got up and dusted off his jeans. "I'm young, I bounce right back. What about you, old man?" Heero grinned.

To be honest, Duo had felt a little rickety and sore after the fall, but he'd be damned to admit that. He shrugged his shoulders, ignoring the ache in the one he had landed on - he would have a bruise the size of a small European country tomorrow, he knew.

Heero smiled. It made Duo forget about the aching pain in his joints. Damn that.

"I think after a foul like that I deserve a free-throw, right?" He picked up his wheelchair and put it upright and sat back down in it.

Just like the previous free-throw, Heero didn't miss. The ball went clean through the net with only the softest swoosh, finishing the game in favor of WuFei and Heero.

Carlton grumbled at his defeat.

They all changed into the clean T-shirts they had brought with them. Duo purposefully had his back turned towards Heero so he wouldn't have to see the handsome young man peel his sweat soaked shirt off his toned body. They finished their bottles of water before folding up the wheelchairs and putting them back in the van. Again, WuFei suggested Heero should ride with him and Duo could do nothing but accept, caught between a rock and a hard place.

The two vehicles pulled into Duo's driveway midday. Relena was already waiting for her husband in the doorway of their house, so he hurried over, thanking them for the afternoon. WuFei wasn't going to stick around either, he remained seated in the car, said his goodbyes and winked at Duo before closing the driver's side door and putting the van in reverse. With a final wave he drove off, leaving Duo feeling very uncomfortable, standing next to Heero, not knowing what to say.

Heero did. "Thank you for inviting me," he said sweetly, looking up at Duo, big blue eyes squinting in the bright sun.

"Sure." Duo felt awkward accepting his gratitude, after all, if it had been up to him, he wouldn't have invited Heero along. For him, the whole point of that day had been to get away from Heero and all the confusing questions that kept popping up in his head whenever he was around the attractive Japanese man.

"WuFei's great," said attractive man continued, prolonging the conversation.

"He is. You can ask, you know."

"Ask?" Heero frowned.

"What happened to him, why he is in a wheelchair." Everyone always did, as soon as WuFei would leave, they would ask Duo what happened to him. No one ever dared to ask WuFei himself, but morbid curiosity always had them seeking answers with him.

"I wasn't going to ask," Heero replied sincerely. "That is up to WuFei. If he doesn't tell, I can only assume that is with good reason, so I shouldn't ask and put him in an uncomfortable position."

Duo nodded.

"I was going to ask you about this, though." Heero zipped open his shoulder bag and delved one hand inside. He pulled out a thick, hard cover book. Duo recognized it instantly with a sinking feeling in his stomach. "WuFei gave me this."

Little meddler, Duo thought, glaring at the book in Heero's hands, his book. He wished that just as he had made it once appear through his own efforts, he had also reserved the power to make it disappear, if he would just try hard enough.

No such luck, it was still right there, cradled in Heero's long, slim fingers.

"Did you write this?"

It seemed like a rhetorical question, since his name was in bold on the cover, so he didn't say anything.

"I didn't even know you were a writer," he stated, "I hope I won't offend you, but I have to admit, I had never heard of you, or this book."

"Don't worry about it. I've sold a lot of copies, but not many people remember it, or me. The words one-hit-wonder and one-day-fly got tossed around a lot after it got published, because I never managed to write another."

Heero stared at the cover pensively. Then he looked up and asked: "May I read it?"

Duo snorted and stuffed his hands in his pockets. "Like I could stop you."

"You could."

Duo gazed into his eyes, recognizing the sincerity. Even though he cringed at the thought of Heero reading his words - his truth, his life - he didn't want to be childish and forbid him to read it. How could he? Millions of other people have read it. If he had wanted to keep its contents a secret, he should have thought twice before releasing it internationally. Still, having his book be out there in the world, never felt as exposing as it did with a copy of it in Heero's hands. He didn't know exactly what that meant, but he knew it meant trouble.

"Sure," he finally answered, "if it was a secret I should not have let them translate it into seven languages."

Heero seemed impressed by the success of his work.

Duo would have been proud if not for the fact that that exact success was in all likelihood a fluke. "So, what did WuFei say when he gave it to you?" He curiously inquired.

"Just that I shouldn't tell you about it."

For the first time Duo felt like Heero wasn't being completely candid with him. Knowing his friend, WuFei probably had a lot more to say about it than Heero let on. "Why did you?" He asked, clarifying: "Tell me, I mean."

"It says 'semi-autobiographical' on the back," Heero turned the book over and pointed at the very words, hidden in the flattering blurb that was composed out of the most positive newspaper reviews and some of his own quotes. "It didn't feel right to read it without your permission. Everyone should be allowed to keep secrets," he added softly. "Having your neighbor read it is different from having someone in Yemen read one of it's translations, I get that."

Duo nodded. "Thanks." He offered Heero a smile in turn for his respect and understanding which he greatly appreciated. He realized he could have easily prevented Heero from reading it, sparing himself some significant discomfort, but even though he worried what the young man would think of it, he felt a little bit more calm about it, now that he was once more reminded of Heero's kindness. With a sudden frown he questioned: "Yemen?"

Heero laughed. "I don't know, first far away foreign place that popped into my head, I guess."

"Well, let me know what you think of it," Duo requested, trying to sound cool and like his heart hadn't jumped up into his throat, effectively suffocating him.

"I will." Heero smiled at him again. It was magnificent, Duo couldn't help but stare. That was bad.

Ready to remove himself from the situation before Heero's incredible smile would make him question his principles, he pointed back at his house and said: "I uh, should probably head inside. Do something productive." He never did anything productive, but he needed a valid excuse.

Heero seemed disappointed but he made no objections. Trying to hide it, he took a few steps back towards his own house. "Yeah, me too. Should probably get ahead of schedule, make time for some reading," he held up the book.

"Yeah. Bye." He headed for his front door.

"Duo!" Heero called.

He turned and watched Heero take two hesitant steps towards him again, the book held against his chest. For some reason that made his heart beat powerfully. "Yeah?"

He bit his lip. "Thank you, for today. I- I really appreciate it."

"Sure," Duo replied dumbly.

Heero finished with a heartfelt, vulnerable smile and walked back to his house, disappearing inside.

"What am I getting myself into?" Duo asked himself. He shouldn't let Heero get too close to him. The young man's intentions may not be ill, but there was no way for Duo to prepare for and protect himself from the feelings that the neighbor might - will - inadvertently awaken. And now, on top of everything else, Heero will be reading his book, who knew what kind of ideas that would spark? God knows WuFei had taken every word to heart and latched onto the quote on the back: 'semi-autobiographical', of course mostly strategically ignoring the 'semi'. In truth, the 'semi' didn't mean much more than Duo changing the names of all pivotal characters and places in order to make it plausible that it was not fully autobiographical. But still, the pretense of the 'semi' was important.

He went inside and made himself something to eat, then settled into a comfortable chair to spend the rest of the day in someone else's head, in someone else's word, because his own head and his own world had become too clouded and complicated to handle. Diving into the adventurous life of a shipwreck diver who gets caught up in the world of drug trafficking seemed like a lighthearted escape in comparison.

When he went to bed late that night, he noticed the lights were still on in the old house. He peered through the window, but he couldn't see Heero anywhere. He wondered with coiling stomach if Heero was tucked away in a corner somewhere, reading his book. That simple thought kept him up most of the night, staring at his ceiling.

Although in the end he had been the one to give Heero permission to read his book, over the course of the night he started to resent WuFei for ever giving it to the young man. The intentions of his scheming friend became clear to him in the dead of night. WuFei had likely given Heero the book to convince him of his own conviction: that Duo was gay and that he should just accept it and live a happily homosexual life. He never could explain to the Chinese man that the book meant the exact opposite. WuFei probably counted on Heero taking away the same thing he had and acting on that, seducing Duo into coming to terms with his sexuality.

Duo grumbled, realizing there was another intense argument with WuFei in his near future. He recognized his friend meant well, but all his good intentions were based on an assumption Duo was sure to be false, that he could not decide for himself who he was going to be and who he was going to love. And all WuFei's efforts to make Duo more accepting of himself and allow him to live a happy and full life, were backfiring, because all he felt was confusion and resentment for his past mistakes, bordering on self-hatred.

In the morning it was quiet. Normally Heero was up early and though the noises were never disruptive or obnoxiously loud in the early hours of the day, Duo had always noticed that Heero started work between eight and nine AM. He figured Heero was probably sleeping in, he might have worked until late at night, to make up for the fact that he didn't spend his Saturday morning and early afternoon according to plan. Duo made use of the quiet by having his morning coffee on the back porch, watching the morning dew on the leaves evaporate as the sun climbed steadily into the azure blue sky.

Weather wise, it was going to be a marvelous day, Duo appreciated.

"Good morning, neighbor."

Duo nearly spilled hot coffee in his lap at the unexpected greeting. After securing his hold on his cup and balancing it, he turned his head to look over the hedge into the neighboring yard. Heero was standing on his porch, in light grey sweats and a white T-shirt, his hair tousled, more so than usual.

He was holding his book.

"Good morning," he replied, not entirely convinced it would be.

"I read your book," the Asian man stated.

He wasn't smiling like he usually was when talking to him, Duo noted. Did that mean he didn't like it? "Oh? That was fast."

"I read all through the night."

So did that mean that he did like it? Duo was anxious to find out. When Heero fell silent for longer than he could stand, he feigned a casual, marginally interested tone and asked: "What do you think of it?"

Heero remained silent for a little longer, looking thoughtful, perhaps confused even. "I loved it," he said, but he still looked confused.

"But?"

Heero sighed, his mouth opened to say something, but he second-guessed himself and ended up just shutting his mouth again.

"It's okay, Heero, you can be honest. I didn't really think you would like it at all, considering the religious tone of it."

"I really did love it," he clarified, "I just find it hard to believe that you wrote it."

Duo frowned, feeling offended. "What, you don't think I have it in me?"

"No, please, you misunderstand, I don't mean to offend you... It's just... You believe in God, right?"

"Of course."

"And the Bible?"

"Yes."

"And Jesus?"

"Where is this going?"

He bit his lips, aware that the combined topic of his novel and his religious beliefs was delicate. "The tone of the book seems so contradictive to your belief."

Duo's frown deepened. "What are you talking about? The whole story is about a boy, growing into a young man, using God's word to improve his life and follow a righteous path."

"Well, yes, but it felt satirical. Like the book was mocking God's strict and unyielding teachings and pointing out to the reader how unnatural it is to follow the Bible to the letter. What the main character does might be the will of God, but it is very destructive. It's sad."

Even though his technical writing skill was not under attack, he felt extremely insulted by Heero's remark. He rose out of his seat. "That's ridiculous." Not a very effective argument, he recognized.

"I'm sorry, but as I read it, I felt like it was a sarcastic narrative. It was so extreme, it couldn't possibly be taken seriously."

"Well, then you misread it," Duo bit.

Heero scoffed. "I read it just fine."

In turn, Duo snorted and crossed his arms in front of his chest. "They talk about the prejudice of religious people, but it's clear you are no better. You read the story from a biased perspective and in doing so you twisted its meaning into something perverse and offensive."

Heero looked away, frustrated. "I'm sorry, I clearly shouldn't have said anything."

"What do you know about literature anyway? You're just a kid. What do you know about life?" Duo continued on his war path after having his ego - and his faith - stepped on.

"I've been fucked by life often enough to have gained intimate knowledge of it. Unlike you, I'm not running away from it, so I might even know more about life than you do." He approached the hedge and reached out the book towards him. "Here, take it. You might want to reread it and have a talk with your editor."

Duo snatched the book out of his hand.

Heero promptly turned around and walked back into his house.

Duo sighed, deflating after the argument. He looked down at the book in his hands. Prick, he thought, but Heero's words started gnawing at him. A few hours later he sat at his dinner table, working his way through a meager lunch and with a frustrated growl he flipped the book open to a random page. He read a few sentences, the words were exactly the way he remembered them. He could even vividly remember writing those exact words.

The book was organized into several chapters, the titles were based on teachings of the Lord, that he had been taught as a young man through the Bible, through the priest and through his parents. The story followed the main character, Jack, through his adolescence and early twenties. Jack's life was modeled nearly exactly after Duo's. He had not set out to write about himself, but that is the direction it quickly took. The story wrote itself and there was no fighting the flow.

At the beginning of the story, Jack is confronted with romantic feelings for his best friend, Andrew. By the end of the story Jack has learned to suppress those feelings and live his life according to the will of God. It was a story about choice and hope - or so he thought.

He wondered why Heero read the story differently. Surely a difference in religious perspective wasn't the only thing at work there?

Was it really that hard to believe that someone could make a choice like that?

He was still chewing on his last bite of sandwich when he had dialed WuFei's number.

"Don't tell me, you're a sore loser," WuFei mocked by way of greeting.

"You gave Heero my book," Duo stated flatly.

"Yeah. With clear instructions not to tell you about it..."

"He read it, was up all night reading it. We just had a fight about it."

"Why? Didn't he like it?"

"He did," Duo answered, "but for different reasons than I intended, I think. He told me to call my editor, but since I hate my official editor and he hates me, I decided to call you. You were effectively my editor, after all."

"And why did he tell you to call me?"

Duo grumbled. "He said the book read like satire, like a sarcastic story meaning the exact opposite of what I intended it to." Duo chuckled bitterly.

"Oh boy..."

Duo blinked, his body tensed. "Oh boy?" He repeated. "Was there some truth to that?"

"Look, everybody reads a story differently, the same story can mean different things to different people-"

He felt like his friend wasn't being completely honest with him. He interrupted: "Okay... so what did it mean to you?"

"Does it matter?"

"You are deflecting," Duo accused. "Now it definitely matters."

WuFei sighed lengthily. "To be honest," he paused, perhaps in a final moment of hesitation, "I thought the same thing as Heero. I think ninety percent of the people that bought it share this opinion. Jack is so obviously gay and in love with his friend, but he throws it all away because his parents and a creepy priests have scared and bullied him into submission. More than anything, it seemed like the story was pointing out how cruel it was for people to not accept homosexuality. In the beginning, Jack is full of life, but by the end he is dead inside. And the saddest thing is that Jack thinks he is getting his happily ever after, when in fact he is resigning to a mediocre, empty life."

Duo got out of his seat and started pacing. WuFei's words made him sick. He wasn't sure why, but he told himself it was just because he was upset that his book had been interpreted that way.

"So it's not what you intended..." The Chinese man tried to appease, "It doesn't mean it's not a good book, or that you are not a good writer," he assured me.

"No? In the very least it means that I didn't write the book that I thought I wrote. How dumb is that?" Inexplicably, the most pressing thought that came to mind was that he yelled at Heero for just pointing out the truth to him. Worse still, he realized, even if it had not been the truth and just an opinion, he shouldn't have been so harsh. He let his wounded ego lash out when he shouldn't have.

Great, he thought, so basically he acted like a dick again.

"The point is, you wrote a great book," WuFei countered, "you and other devotedly religious people get a different message than the general public, but that doesn't matter. What matters is that, unwittingly or not, you wrote a book that speaks to everyone and they all went out and bought it."

"Unwittingly or not?" Duo questioned. "Do you think I wrote it with a sarcastic undertone on purpose? Mock my own religion to sell a few extra copies?"

"A few extra million copies," WuFei deadpanned.

"Well, I didn't."

"Maybe subconsciously you did."

Duo rolled his eyes, knowing what they were about to get into.

"Maybe subconsciously you knew that the choices that Jack makes in his life are not right by any standard other than 'God's' and maybe that is why the story ended up having a satirical, tongue-in-cheek tone to it," The Chinese man explained.

"Here we go again." Duo shook his head in frustration. "And it all circles back to me being in denial about being gay, right? I've told you so many times, I was young, I gave in to misguided urges. In the end, I knew I had a choice to make and I made the right one," Duo reacted defensively.

"Are you still so sure it is a choice?" WuFei asked poignantly. "Did it seem like Thomas had a choice? Or, what was his real name? Andrew..."

Duo took a deep breath. "I thought we weren't going to talk about Anthony anymore."

"Anthony! That's right... Anthony."

"I'm hanging up now," Duo warned, feeling his throat close up with heavy emotions.

"You're not just hanging up, you are running away. I'm not saying these things to hurt you. I'm saying this because I want your story to have a happy ending and the ending of the book is not happy and we both know it's not really the ending either. Please, I-"

Duo hung up, not sure he could control his feelings and he didn't want to get emotional. That would just make it that much harder to convince WuFei - and himself - that everything was right the way it was. He walked the phone back to the docking station and sighed. He hadn't thought about Anthony for a long time, with good reason. It were difficult memories. All mistakes were difficult to remember, this mistake was particularly heart wrenching.

He crawled into his comfortable lounge chair in the living room and picked up the book he had started reading yesterday. But the printed words wouldn't reach him, they were but mere black smudges on the white page that never got turned over.

The reflective red letters on the hardcover of his book caught the rays of the setting sun, peeking through the back window as it sank low enough to reach under the porch. Duo's gaze was drawn to the book that lay abandoned on the window sill, where he had left it in anger on his way to his reading corner. The red letters gleamed in the light. DUO MAXWELL. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.

Duo felt angry thinking of all the readers who must have thought the same thing as Heero and WuFei, that the main character was crazy to live by the antiquated rules of the Lord and the Good Book. And what a fool had he made himself to be in those interviews at the time, completely unaware of the ambiguous meaning of his novel? He hated the thought that people saw him as antagonist to the church, when in reality he had devoted his entire life to its teachings, donating substantial amounts of money and time preserving its diminishing presence in modern society and its influence on the younger generation. He could only hope that the priests and families he had worked with at the time failed to see the unintentional double innuendo, as he had, or else the shame would be unbearable.

A particular question was inevitable. To what extent was WuFei correct? To what extent did he willingly - albeit subconsciously - construct the story in a way that it had two sides, two perspectives on it? While he had always been convinced that, to him, there was only one perspective. The path he had chosen in honor of his religion was one of hardship - constant effort and suppression of feelings and desires - had a part of him faltered along the way, grown to resent and reject this hardship?

Could his book, in a way, be considered a desperate cry for help? It was obvious WuFei believed so. He had been answering this call in vain all this time.

He closed the book he had attempted to read, giving up on it. His mind was too distracted. At an arm's length or not, the new neighbor had already stirred up more dust than Duo had been willing to let him and now a word, crudely etched in the concrete foundation of his life, had become exposed. The way prisoners of war scratched messages in the stone walls of their cells.

GAY.

Am I? The other inevitable question. One that had tilted his life askew since it first came to him when he was just a kid. Even if he was, he could decide not to be, right? People dye their hair, have surgeries - plastic and medical -, get addictions, quit addictions, change personal styles, change jobs... People can decide who they want to be, change everything about themselves. Why would sexuality supposedly be set in stone?

Persistent knocks on his front door disrupted his thoughts. Counting on it being WuFei, to continue the discussion they had over the phone that afternoon, he answered the door without hesitation.

Duo was stunned when his eyes landed on an unexpected guest.

Heero stood on his porch. Duo had expected some malice in his expression, but Heero just looked calm and friendly. In one hand he held a six-pack of beer, balanced on the open palm of his other hand: two pizza boxes stacked on top of each other.

To say his was surprised at the gesture was a gross euphemism. All Duo could really do was stare in wonder and confusion.

"This is what friends do, right?" Heero challenged mildly, sporting a tentative smile. "They disagree, they fight, they are total dicks to each other and then they have beer and pizza and move on."

Endeared, Duo let go of his defenses and bantered: "Friends or future AA and WeightWatchers buddies?"

Heero chuckled and shrugged. "What's the difference? How else to seal a friendship but to consume alcohol and carbs and grow to be old, fat drunks together?" Heero sighed and turned more serious when he asked if he could come inside.

"Uh, sure." Duo held the door open wide for him, noticing in dismay the skip of his heartbeat when Heero passed by him narrowly.

"Thanks. Can I put this down somewhere?"

"Yeah," Duo looked around his house and then pointed at the coffee table. "Right there will be fine."

Heero put away the pizza and beer and then turned to face Duo. "I wanted to apologize for this morning. I should have been more sensitive to that fact that your novel must mean a lot to you and I shouldn't have dumped my opinion on you like that. It was disrespectful. Obviously people have differing viewpoints and I shouldn't have forced my perspective down your throat like that." With a smile he added: "Keep in mind that I was probably just a little cranky. I had been up all night reading, after all."

"I should apologize as well. I was being way too stubborn, getting all Wounded-Ego on you. I shouldn't have done that. I should have recognized that it was your opinion, your perspective and I should have respected that." He wasn't quite ready to admit that mostly he was just upset about what it implied about him and the choice he had made. He needed to believe that he made the right choice - that it was even a choice to begin with - he clung to that desperately. Without it, he wouldn't know where he'd be, or who he'd be.

They both chuckled nervously at the pregnant silence that settled between them after their exchange of apologies.

"Beer and pizza?" Heero suggested.

"Yes, please." Duo pointed him to the sitting area. He took a seat on the couch and Heero sat down in a chair opposite of him.

The young Asian pulled two bottles from the six pack, reaching one out to Duo across the coffee table and he opened both pizza boxes. "I didn't know what you would like, so I got two pretty standard pizza toppings," he explained, lifting a slice of barbeque pizza out of the box.

"This is just fine." Duo accepted a piece of pizza Hawaii.

Once both had a few swigs of beer and had finished their first slice, Heero dared to start up the conversation again.

"So, tell me about your book," he kindly requested, sitting back with the second slice, his legs folded underneath him in the seat, Indian style.

Duo frowned, struggling with a string of molten cheese. "What do you mean?"

"I was quick to tell you what I thought of it, when I should have asked what it means to you. It is your book after all, semi-autobiographical no less. It must be really personal to you and you must have a lot of thoughts and feelings about it."

"I certainly do now," Duo admitted. "I called WuFei and apparently he thought the same thing as you, all along. And he suspects many more people share your opinion on the book."

Heero looked guilty.

"It's okay. I'm not upset you told me. I only wished someone had told me sooner, preferably before I ever had it published. Because the message that most people take away from it, that religion is extreme and oppressive, is not the message I wanted to send. What I wanted to tell people through this book, through my life, was that God could offer sanctuary in troubling times." Duo shook his head, the thought still angered him. "Who knows where Jack would have ended up, if not for God's guidance? Probably in an Aids clinic, with no family. All because of a single thing he felt when he was a young kid, something he couldn't have possibly made sense out of at such a young age." He frowned slightly at his words, he had heard those before, but he had never said them before himself.

Heero seemed taken aback by Duo's remark, even hurt by it.

Realizing his mistake, Duo amended: "I don't mean that I think all gay people end up like that. I just think that would have been Jack's path if not for God's gracious intervention. He would have ended up alone, alienated from his community, loveless."

"Or he could have met someone and be perfectly happy," Heero supplied calmly. "Maybe with Thomas."

There he was again, 'Thomas', or, as he was known to reality: Anthony.

"To be honest, Duo, the ending in the story might seem happy on the surface, but that is not the ending, as you are Jack and your life is different from the way it was on the final page. To me it seems like you are just as lonely and loveless as you feared to become," Heero stated cautiously, unsure what kind of reactions he would provoke.

Duo would have responded defensively if it hadn't occurred to him in that very moment that Heero was right. Few friends, detached from society - basically living like a hermit - and no romantic involvement in years. His head felt fuzzy, overwhelmed with things he had never even considered. He had been so preoccupied in telling himself and everyone who cared to listen that he was fine and that this was the life he had chosen for himself, that he never stopped to think if his decision worked out the way he had hoped.

Recognizing his neighbors inner struggle, Heero casually changed the subject. "How do you like the pizza?"

Duo was grateful for the change to the lighthearted. He offered him a smile. "It's excellent."

Heero smiled back, adding to his undeniable beauty.

When they had each finished a second bottle of bear and an impressive amount of pizza slices as well as all possible small talk topics, Duo's masochistic curiosity got the better of him. After a silence had been allowed to exist between them for a moment or two, he asked Heero seriously: "Do you think I am gay?"

Heero seemed perplexed that he would ask, but he soon regained his composure. "Do you want me to answer truthfully, or like a friend?"

"Aren't they the same?"

He smiled again. "Yeah, you're right."

"Well? Do you think I'm gay?" Subconsciously, he held his breath.

Heero stared at him with a serious gaze, trying to read him. "Yes," he finally answered.

Duo instantly felt uncomfortable. "Because of the book?"

"No," Heero replied calmly, his gaze fixated on Duo. "Because of the way you look at me."

Duo swallowed, realizing he was betraying himself, he looked away, of course that in itself could be seen as a confession.

"I don't mean to come off as arrogant, but I know that look. Many men have looked at me like that," he continued, there was a sadness to his tone of voice.

Duo dared to lay his eyes on him again, knowing that not looking was all the more incriminating.

"But I understand how hard it is to be gay in an intolerant, straight world. You've made a decision to protect yourself. The book made clear you had plenty reasons. I don't know if people can change who they are, if they believe powerfully enough that it is for the better, but I also don't know that it can't be done. So I would never do something to compromise the measures you have taken. With you, I wouldn't act on that look the way I would-... the way I have with others. So I don't want you to worry about that. I really just want us to be friends."

"I'd like that too." With thick voice Duo wondered aloud: "How do you usually act on it?"

"With a kiss."

A shiver went down Duo's spine, but he liked to think he hid it well. "I'm sorry me looking at you is perceived that way. I don't mean anything by it, that is just the way I look." Liar, he inwardly said to himself.

Heero quirked an eyebrow and smiled knowingly, but he didn't say anything.

They looked at each other for a while. Duo became increasingly uncomfortable, wondering just how much this 'look' of his was telling Heero, whispering secrets that he had worked hard to keep. Of course now that he had read his book, his secrets were on the table, barely hidden in the fiction. Duo presumed that every second with which his look lingered Heero decoded more and more of the fiction as truth.

"It's late, I should probably go home," Heero announced and he started cleaning up.

Duo was relieved and eagerly helped him carry the nearly empty pizza boxes and the empty beer bottles to the trash can in the kitchen. On the window sill, Heero noticed the book. He walked up to it and grabbed it and asked kindly: "Can I keep it? I really didn't want to dispose of it."

Duo suspected his neighbor wanted to hold on to the book only because of what it revealed about him personally, but WuFei had given Heero the book, so technically, even though he was the author, that particular book was not his, it was Heero's. He told him as much.

That smile warmed Heero's face again - and Duo's heart. "Thank you."

Duo shrugged as he placed the empty bottles in a crate under the kitchen sink for recycling. "Sure." He was trying very hard to keep his cool. He didn't want Heero to know how fast his heart was beating, with him standing so close to him and smiling at him like that, holding his book to his chest where it must be able to feel Heero's heartbeat through his skin and through the thin shirt he was wearing. Lucky book. Duo shook his head, trying to shake out the unwelcome thoughts. "Thanks for the beer and the pizza."

"No problem." That smile! That smile!

Stop it, Duo resolutely told himself.

"Goodnight."

"Uh, yeah, I'll walk you to the door."

"That's alright, I'll find my way." Heero waved and then started towards the front door.

"Good night..." Duo trailed off. It wasn't until Heero had closed the door behind him that he realized he had been staring at him as he had walked away. And he hadn't been staring at the back of his head...

"This is bad," Duo told himself, he gripped the edge of the counter and took a few deep breaths. In the neighboring house lights went on one by one and sometimes Duo could see Heero walk by a window, still holding his book. And his heart rate would pick up again. Duo cursed when he realized what was happening. His defenses had crumbled, he had allowed Heero to get too close. He knew he was at a dangerous precipice, one more wrong move and he could be tumbling into an abyss of feelings and thoughts that were too strong and overwhelming to ignore or to suppress. He knew he had to go to Church tomorrow to find some peace and remind himself why he had been putting himself through this all his life. If only he could talk to the minister about his problem, but that was not an option unfortunately. He cringed at the thought of having to confide in a holy man the kind of thoughts that had been plaguing him all his life. It was only a matter of time until Heero would evoke those same, sinful thoughts.

He turned off all the lights and headed upstairs, getting changed and crawling into bed. He was anxious to end this day. Misguided hope had him wishing tomorrow everything would be okay again.

However, as he departed a troubled reality, he was engulfed by an even more disturbing dream.

"Do you think I am gay?" Duo asked his guest curiously. He was more calm then he had been when he had asked Heero for real.

"Do you want me to answer truthfully, or like a friend?"

"Aren't they the same?" He retorted confidently, very unlike his real self.

Heero let out a low chuckle. "Yeah, you're right."

"Well? Do you think I'm gay?"

The attractive young man stared at him, a small, sensual smile spread across his lips. "Yes," he breathed.

Duo was unfazed. "Because of the book?"

"No, because of the way you look at me," Heero purred, uncrossing his legs and leaning forward challengingly.

Duo stared at him, at the elegant movements of his body, at his long finger pushing off the armrests as he stood. He noted the tightness of Heero's jeans, accentuating the slimness of his hips and the toned length of his legs. The young man sat down next to him on the couch, very close to him. Close enough for him to feel the cushions dip under his weight; close enough to feel Heero's breath in his ear.

"I don't mean to come off as arrogant, but I know that look," Heero continued softly. "Many men have looked at me like that." Heero reached out a hand and brushed a lock of chestnut hair out of Duo's face, the tips of his fingers ghosting over his skin.

Duo turned his head to face him. His gaze found Heero's lips and fixated on them. Heero was talking, but the words barely registered, the movements of his mouth were distracting and he wondered how that mouth would feel, moving against his own. He barely had the clarity of mind to decipher some meaning behind what Heero had said and he asked: "How do you usually act on it?"

"With a kiss," Heero breathed.

"Show me," Duo begged in a low whisper.

"I shouldn't. I promised I wouldn't."

"Please..." Duo licked his lips, watching Heero bite his in hesitation. "Kiss me?"

Heero leaned in, not quite close enough to have their lips meet, but he rested his hand on Duo's thigh, his fingers splayed.

"Kiss me..."

Heero shut his eyes and closed the distance between them. His hand moved up Duo's thigh, pushing an incredible heat that emanated from his palm, up towards his crotch. His lips were so close... so close... his fingers closer still.

"No!" Duo startled awake, kicking away his sheets and flailing his arms around in shock. He sat up straight and was fully awake instantly. Wide-eyed he stared into thin air as he vividly and shamefully remembered his dream.

"Oh shit..."

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><p><strong>God giveth and God taketh away :P<strong>


	6. Chapter 6

**something like human: Surely Heero wouldn't mind giving Duo a hug in due time :P Thank you for reading the story and reviewing :)**

**Loveless8: Thank you so much! I'm glad you appreciate the realism I have attempted to create, even though Duo and Heero are out of character :) I hope you will enjoy this long overdue update :)**

**TKM: Thank you for not forgetting about it :) I hope you will like this new chapter!**

**color2413: I hope I can continue to uphold that realistic struggle. I think it is very important that, even in 'mere' fanfiction, we occasionally acknowledge that there is plenty of room for improvement. More of that will be added into the story. I hope you will continue to enjoy this story and share your thoughts with me :)**

**snowdragonct: He did build his own prison, like many people do. I thought it was an interesting angle :P I'm really glad to read you are enjoying the story, I hope I can keep that up. I don't care much for some of ff. net's changes either, but I guess it's just something we have to deal with :S Thank you for reviewing :)**

**Muchacha: I'm glad you seem to be enjoying the story. I hope you will like this new installment :)**

**The Yaoi Pimpette: I definitely hope I will continue to be able to prove you wrong! :P This chapter you will learn a little bit more about Anthony. I hope it is unexpected, in a good way. Let me know? Thank you so much for reviewing :)**

**Pikeebo: Thank you for reviewing again! I hope you will like this new chapter, definitely more turmoil for our braided American :)**

**jeangreymullinsjr: Not exactly ASAP, sorry about that, but it is a very long chapter, I hope that at least in part makes up for the long wait. Thank you so much for yet another kind and enthusiastic review! :)**

**CirckleKV12: WuFei's next appearance has been put off till next chapter. For now I hope you will enjoy this extra long chapter. Thank you for reviewing as always :)**

**Zethsaire: I agree. It is such a difficult struggle, especially in an unsupportive environment. I wrote my thesis on the effect of LGBT intolerance on the LGBT community. It is a harsh reality that the narrow-minded of some people can make other utterly miserable, suicidal even. I'm very glad to hear that your friend now feels free to be himself, even though his family doesn't agree. Thank you very much for reviewing and of course for your help with the chapter! I hope it isn't too annoying :S**

**Shenlong1: Haha, full brownie points :) I'm very happy to read you are enjoying the story. I hope I will not let you down. Thank you for taking the time to review :)**

**darkeyed1: Sorry I made you wait so long. But this is a pretty long chapter, I hope that makes up for it. Thank you for reviewing, I hope you will like this update :)**

**Frayedsoul: I'm glad you like WuFei's part in this. I took a lot of liberties with the characterizations, but it seems readers are enjoying it, thankfully :) Many of the original character (including but not limited to Trowa and Quatre) will make an appearance later on in the story :P Thank you for reviewing!**

**winterimperfect: I hope as time goes by people will give you less of a hard time. Thank you very much for reviewing the story. "Phenomenal" is quite a hefty expectation to continue to live up to but as always I will do my best :P **

**Crucified Love: I'm happy you liked it! In this new chapter there is a little bit more of where that dream came from, I hope it will sufficiently heat things up for the time being :P Thank you for reviewing!**

**shinigami714: Thanks so much! :)**

**Chibichocopaws: I have no problem with a triple tie :P I'm so grateful you like my OOC Heero. In hindsight I think I took quite a risk 'reversing' their characterizations like this, but luckily I didn't let that hold me back at the time, because I quite like them like this given the story and people seem to agree. There is definitely another taste of a dream, for now that will have to do :P Thank you so much for reviewing! I really hope you will continue to enjoy this story as well as the others :)**

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><p><strong>Author's note:<strong>

**Another long chapter, I just couldn't contain myself it seems. **

**A huge thanks to my new beta Zethsaire! THANK YOU!**

* * *

><p><strong>Love Thy Neighbor<strong>

**Chapter Five**

He paced back and forth in the depths of his house, away from the windows. He wasn't worried about being seen, but about what he might see. The new neighbor was painting the new paneling of the old house. He stood balanced on a ladder propped up against the high walls, in all his half-naked glory. He was all muscular calves, cut-off jeans, golden, gleaming torso, toned arms and strands of chocolate colored hair dancing in the soft breeze.

His eyes had been greedily seeking Heero all day as the young man slowly inched the ladder along the side of the house, systematically painting the paneling a crisp white. Duo moved from window to window, finding excuses to go into different rooms and linger by the window. He knew this curiosity to be dangerous. He knew it to be a symptom of something deep and hidden, something shameful and punishable; a traitorous urge, like the forbidden apple that tempted Eve with its perfect round curves and seductive shade.

He was in serious trouble. He had known it since his dream a few nights ago. He had hoped the thoughts would quietly dissipate if he just fought them vigorously enough, but they only became more overwhelming until all he could do was marvel at the detail with which he could picture Heero's face.

When the young man had taken off his shirt in the steadily rising heat of the afternoon sun, carelessly letting it fall to the grass at the base of the ladder, Duo knew he had to look away, before the sight of his body would become too familiar. He knew it would haunt him in future dreams if he looked.

He promptly sat down in his lounge chair at the other side of the house, as far away from Heero as he physically could be without leaving his home, which, admittedly, wasn't very far at all. Yet Heero was always near, his presence always felt. Heero's magnetism reached across distances and through walls. Even in his current state of distress, he caught his gaze gravitating towards the kitchen window, where he could just see Heero's work boots and slim ankles.

God is testing me, Duo thought bitterly and stubbornly buried himself deeper into the cushions of the chair.

Heero climbed further up the ladder and disappeared out of sight, offering Duo minor but welcome relief.

He suspected God was testing his loyalty to him. He had betrayed him once, long ago. No matter how good he had been behaving for the past two decades, he would never again be worthy of His unconditional trust. He had accepted the fact that he needed to prove himself again and again to make up for the sins he had committed as a youth, a youth who didn't yet have his priorities in order, awarding personal desire a higher ranking than religion and family. He was determined to prove that things were different now, that he had chosen the righteous path and that he could stick to it, ignoring his misleading, corporal desires.

A dream didn't mean anything. A look didn't mean anything. At least, that is what he told himself, firmly and repetitively with new resolve.

If God was testing him, then he'd better show Him that he was up to the challenge and that he wasn't going to cower in a dark corner of his house.

The apple would not tempt him. He may look and his mouth may water at the sight as his imagination run an immoral course, but he would never bite, that is the one thing he could control and control it he would.

He rolled his shoulders and steeled his nerves, overcoming his reluctance to be confronted with the physical perfection that was Heero, considering the way his gaze as well as his thoughts and feelings had been wandering lately, not exactly down the straight and narrow. With newly assumed confidence - most of it an act - he trotted outside, grabbing two bottles of beer from the fridge on his way out. The key was to be casual. What's more casual than offering a friend a beer? Heero did it all the time.

Were his hands sweaty or was it just the condensation from the cool glass bottles?

The screen door fell shut in his wake, alerting Heero to his presence.

The young man steadied himself on the ladder and carefully turned his head to look over his shoulder. He smiled when he saw Duo descending the steps of his porch and walking towards the hedge that separated them.

"You're making quite a bit of progress," Duo gestured at the fresh white facade of the house, with the bottles in his hands.

Heero looked back at his work. "Thanks. Is one of those for me?" He coyly inquired.

"Yeah, definitely."

Heero dropped the brush in what sounded like a practically empty metal bucket of paint and stepped down. He placed the bucket with a collection of others - all empty - and then reached out a hand across the hedge to accept the offering. "Thanks," he twisted off the cap and took a big gulp, keeping his sparkling eyes fixed on Duo, with a hint of mischief to them. "This is a first."

Duo shrugged and stuffed one hand into his pocket, bringing the bottle to his lips with the other. Too casual? He wondered. He took his hand out of his pocket and awkwardly adjusted his pose, not knowing where to put his hands or how to position his feet. Heero kept his piercing gaze on him, which wasn't of much help as Duo struggled to appear cool and aloof. He felt a shiver run down his spine, his legs and finish with a tingle in his toes as he remembered his dream; remembering the feeling of Heero slowly dragging his open palm further up his thigh, inching towards...

Duo cleared his throat and took another swig, looking away.

Heero chuckled.

"Something funny?"

Rather than answering, he shot back: "Why do you look so uncomfortable?"

"I don't," Duo vainly, childishly argued.

Heero ignored his obvious lie. "Is it because of what I said the other day? That I think you're gay."

Duo scoffed, but a bead of sweat started to form on his brow. "I don't care what you think. I know it's not true."

"So it really doesn't bother you?"

"Not at all."

"Good," Heero quipped with a smirk, pausing for another drink, "Here I though it was going to cause a problem." He bent forward and picked his white T-shirt up from the grass and effortlessly slipped into it.

"You didn't have to cover up for my sake," Duo asserted, although glad that Heero's narrow waist and defined chest were now out of view.

"I know. I am just getting ready to order dinner."

"Right." He raised his wrist to peer at his watch, a little shocked at the hour that was revealed to him. Had he been fussing and pacing all day? How astonishingly pathetic. It also put into perspective just how obsessive he had inadvertently become, driven by a fear of screwing up all that he has worked devotedly to achieve.

Heero dug his cell phone out of his jeans' pocket and commented with a wry smile: "Is it bad that I know the pizza place's number by heart?"

Duo shrugged. "I suppose not."

He dialed and brought the phone to his ear.

Duo didn't know why he stuck around, he probably should have excused himself and walked away, but it never occurred to him. He stared down into the bottle through the narrow opening, watching the last inch of beer slosh around as he tilted the bottle from side to side, pretending to be occupied and not intently listening to Heero's smooth voice as he place his order.

"Do you want something?" The young man asked him.

He shook his head, not trusting his voice. He felt blood rushing to his cheeks and ears and fingertips when Heero was suddenly looking at him. Even though he had long memorized the fine shapes of Heero's features, the perfection of them still managed to be amazing at times; like rediscovering something beautiful, or reading your favorite book again and being reminded just why you love it so much. He had to admit it was entirely possible that Heero was a tad more tempting than a simple apple and that the comparison may have lost its relevance, but the principle still applied and he still had to resist!

"This is the third time this week," Heero admitted after hanging up the phone and tucking it into the back pocket of his very tight, knee-length jeans.

"Too lazy to cook?"

Heero shook his head. "Can't really cook in that pathetic excuse of a kitchen I currently have. I can only stand so many grilled cheese sandwiches." He rolled his eyes. "Hmm, I'd kill for a home cooked meal."

"You could come over for dinner at my place some time..." His sentence trailed off. What did he just say? He retraced his steps and confirmed his startling suspicion; he just invited Heero over for dinner. Damn his mouth and the disfunctioning filter that separated it from his blabbering brain.

Heero smiled kindly. "Judging from your expression, I think I'd best decline your offer."

He knew he couldn't let him do that, no matter how much he wanted to back-paddle out of the situation he had thrust himself into. His apparent discomfort would only fuel Heero's suspicion that he was secretly attracted to him, but trying to ignore it. "No, no," he started to argue hesitantly, "No, I meant it. Really, you should come over for dinner sometime."

"Really?" The Asian beauty seemed pleasantly surprised.

Asian beauty? Where did that come from? But Duo's belligerent thought-process died down when he noticed Heero's radiant smile and it was just for him. The sensation of being on the receiving end of that smile wasn't unlike basking in the first rays of sunshine after a long and grim winter. He was left in quiet awe.

The smile quirked a little. "You're looking at me like that again," the neighbor noted in a seductively quiet voice.

"Like what?" Duo mumbled absentmindedly, then realization dawned on him, he coughed and tried again with a deeper voice: "Like what? I don't know what you mean."

Heero chuckled. "Never mind. I guess it's not important."

"So, uh, dinner, when- when uh..." Duo struggled to change the topic.

Heero, thankfully, went along with his embarrassing attempt at a segue. "Well, my dinner for tonight is already underway, but otherwise I'm available."

"Okay, then how about tomorrow?" Just to get it over with.

"Are you sure? I don't want to be a bother."

"Not at all, I'm not bothered!" Hot and bothered, maybe.

Heero flashed him another modest sample of that striking smile. "Great, tomorrow it is then."

"Great," Duo concurred less than enthusiastically. "See you at seven?"

"Six," Heero confidently counter-offered. "I'll help you prepare dinner."

"Fantastic..." The tall American bit his lips, afraid objections might start spilling from his mouth. He already dreaded tomorrow night, but there was no honor nor redemption in being fearful and hiding. It would be the perfect opportunity to prove to God, as well as to Heero, that these attractions were insignificant and would not be acted on. Maybe, most importantly, he had to convince himself of this.

"I'm going to go shower, get ready for my fancy pizza dinner. I'll see you tomorrow," Heero excused himself with a smirk.

"Yeah, bye." He raised his hand in a halfhearted wave and watched Heero disappear into the old house through the back door. He pretended the onslaught of visuals of Heero under a stream of hot water were of no importance. It didn't necessarily mean he was gay, he just had a lot of pent up sexual energy. He had been so afraid of his feelings - feeling them for guys and not feeling them for women - that he had been avoiding both, most of his adult life. He figured his body craved sexual intimacy so much it was indiscriminate in it's desires and latched onto Heero out of pure convenience.

Duo ran his hand through his hair and pulled his braid over his shoulder, playing with it nervously. "Yeah," he started to nod slowly, "That's all. It doesn't mean I'm gay again, I'm just horny." He frowned at his own conclusion but decided not to reject it as it was the least incriminating of the two possible explanations. However, it didn't offer him much of a solution to his problem. Whereas moral obligations had withheld him from seeking the physical contact of other men, social inadequacy and disinterest in the world is what kept him an all-round recluse all these years. He couldn't just walk into a club and talk a girl up to satisfy his urges, that was as despicable to him as it was impossible for him. He would have to resign to his fate of being horny and unsatisfied.

He grumbled and went back inside, locking the door behind him as if behind a locked door he would somehow be safe and at peace; no longer confused, in pain or weighed down by obligations of Biblical proportions.

With a heavy sigh Duo leaned his forehead against the window pane. His life had been so much easier before the arrival of the new neighbor. Back then he was much more successful in ignoring his inner thoughts and feelings and letting questions dwell without answers, because the answers were hard to come by and even harder to deal with once you had them. With temptation next door the thoughts and feelings kept popping to the surface and with all his might he could not push them back down. In their quantity and persistence the questions themselves have become answers, screaming in his ear, contradicting everything he was taught to see as right and just and worthy of the love and pride of God.

"And now I'm supposed to sit through dinner with him..." He ground out.

Normally he would seek out WuFei in a predicament like that, if not for relief and resolve, then to get distracted by WuFei's patronizing disposition regarding his sexuality and redirecting his anger at him. However, he didn't feel ready to face WuFei quite yet, after discovering the hidden meaning in his book - hidden, apparently, only to him. He felt WuFei had betrayed, even abused his trust.

It was a dark realization; realizing how alone he was. He turned around and looked around the empty house. It was not where he had once expected to be, all alone in a big house, caught in trench-war with his only friend who thinks he is in denial and afraid of the next door neighbor, a mere kid of barely five feet and five inches and less than a hundred and twenty pounds, with big blue eyes and a sweet smile.

It had been a long road to this destination, but only looking back did it become clear to him how much the journey had cost him and how disappointing the destination ended up being. He wasn't living a straight life like he set out to do, all he had was an asexual existence. That didn't make him feel very accomplished.

He thought of his book. His "semi-autographical" literary debut. He didn't know anymore what was truth and what was fiction, what was Jack and what was Duo. The book had turned out to be different than he thought it was and so had his life upon closer inspection. He thought he was happy, like he thought Jack was happy. But now that he had been informed that Jack wasn't happy once he had conformed to the rules of the church, questions about his own happiness were prompted. The answer that felt less contrived and most honest, was a simple but heart wrenching: I am not happy.

He didn't want to sort through his feelings regarding this epiphany, he dreaded even acknowledging their existence, perfectly content settling back into the numbed and detached state that had kept him going all this time.

Something in his mind flicked a switch, he straightened up and threw his long braid over his shoulder. Determinedly he stomped towards the front door, picking up his car keys along the way. He had a dinner party to prepare for. Deciding what to have for dinner was all he could handle at the moment and he gratefully lost himself in the mundane distraction, making it his mission. It was better to focus on the technical aspect of the dinner, than the emotional. To stretch the mental buffer as long as he could he familiarized himself with the produce in the local grocery store and mulled over the abundance of choice.

Somehow, he ended up wanting to summarize the entire chaos in a single course. It had to be easy and casual, but not too easy or too casual to make Heero think he was trying to get him out the door as quickly as possible. It had to be masculine, but not too masculine to make Heero think he was trying too hard. It had to be something he was good at, but not too good to make Heero think he put a disproportionate amount of thought and effort into the meal.

Turned out the store didn't have an aisle of foods to match his preferences, instead he found himself in the Italian section, pasta's and sauces galore.

"Whatever," he finally decided and started loading up on products.

He waited in line at the only open cash register and when it was his turn he bit the inside of his cheek when he saw the familiar face of Amber.

Flirtatious as ever, she purred: "Hello, Duo."

"Hi, Amber," he politely replied, pretending to be focused on finding his ATM card in his wallet, to avoid eye contact.

"Are you planning a romantic dinner for two?" She inquired coyly.

Duo's face went red and hot. "Why? Does this look like a romantic meal?" He worriedly stared at his chosen products as a store employee put them in a white plastic bag, one by one.

"I was just wondering..." She chuckled, "Actually, I was trying to steer the conversation a certain way."

He fidgeted with his plastic ATM card. "What direction is that?"

"I wanted to know if maybe you would like to have a romantic dinner for two with me sometime..." She batted her eyelashes up at him. "I've been hinting so long, but you never made a move. I figured that if I want something - you - I should take the initiative."

The guy holding the plastic bag with Duo's groceries rolled his eyes.

Duo wiped his hand along his denim clad thigh, his suddenly sweaty palms had been making the leather of his wallet damp.

Amber kept her big eyes on him, seemingly completely unaware of how uncomfortable she had made him. In fact, she did nothing to alleviate the discomfort, only adding to it by squeezing her breasts together with her arms - making sure to lean forward so he couldn't miss her impressive cleavage - and pursing her lips in an attempt to be irresistibly seductive.

"I- I-" He could do nothing but stammer and helplessly tried to deflect: "I'd like to pay now."

Amber didn't budge, waiting for an answer.

The man in line behind him sighed dramatically and commented harshly: "Just fucking agree to take her out sometime, so we can all get the fuck out of here. Jesus, are you a goddamned queer or something?"

His remark startled Duo awake. "I'm not a queer," he argued with the stranger.

"I don't care, just hurry up!" The man tapped his watch impatiently.

Realizing everyone, not just Amber, was looking at him expectantly, he felt like he had no choice. He didn't want them to think he was gay, like the man implied. Besides, it would look good to go on a date with a girl, it could serve like armor at dinner tomorrow. He turned back to Amber determinedly. "Amber, I'd love to take you out to dinner sometime."

"Really?" She exclaimed with a radiant smile.

"Yes."

She finally let him pay and when the receipt rolled out she took a pen out of her breast pocket and scribbled down her number. "Would you like your receipt, sir?" She toyed.

"Yes, thank you." He folded it up and put it in his pants' pocket.

"Hmm," Amber appreciated, "We haven't even gone out yet and I have already gotten in your pants."

Duo chuckled sheepishly. "Yeah, right, sure." He thanked the young man who handed him his bag of groceries. "I'll call you."

"Yes you will," she asserted.

Once he had seated himself in the safety of his car, he took a deep breath. He convinced himself that he wasn't misleading or using her. The contrary, he argued, he was giving her a fair chance. She liked him, maybe, after this date, he would like her too. He owed them both the opportunity to find out.

He couldn't get rid of that heavy, sick feeling in his stomach though.

He started up the engine and carefully backed out of his parking space. On the way home he passed WuFei's bookstore. Speeding by he caught a glimpse of his wheelchair bound friend, it didn't appear WuFei had seen him, but he wondered what would have happened if he had. Would his cell phone start ringing and would WuFei demand him to make a U-turn and stop by for his regular visit?

His cell phone never rang.

"He probably just didn't see me," Duo told himself and pulled into his driveway.

The hour was late, it was already dark outside. Inside the old house lights were on all around the first floor.

He remained seated in his car for a while, looking at the house, not able to deny that the soft orange lights in the windows made him feel warm and less lonely. For some reason - he didn't dare to think why - it was good to know someone was there.

Duo's whole body went rigid when Heero appeared in one of the windows at the front of the house, sitting down on the window sill, his legs drawn up. The young man didn't pay any attention to the outside world. Resting on his knees was a book - Duo's book, probably, he realized with a mixture of fear, curiosity and something undefined - his long, slim fingers touched the front cover and might have traced Duo's name or the title, it was hard to tell. He opened the book and started leafing through it, pausing on certain pages to read a selection of passages. Duo wished he knew which parts he was rereading.

His gaze trailed through the yard at the sign, STOP PROP 8. He swallowed a lump in his throat, suspecting Heero would use their dinner to interrogate him about the book. The attractive young man may have a kind, attractive personality to match, Duo found it hard to believe that someone who fought for the rights of gay people would so easily give up and let him be. Not even WuFei could do that and, although liberal, he had never seemed much invested in the plight of the LGBT community. Duo acknowledged, accepted and understood that Heero was likely offended by his choice of lifestyle, after all, this choice was based on loathing and fear of the lifestyle Heero lived by.

He would have liked to be able to be friends with Heero, but he didn't see how that could work out. Heero may not have admitted to it, but Duo felt fairly certain Heero disproved of his way of living as much as he did of Heero's.

Silently and quickly he snuck back into his house, embarrassed at his own antics, but resigning to them. He unpacked his groceries and decided to put an end to a confusing day by going to bed early.

Tomorrow was a big day. A big, uncomfortable, anxious day.

The doorbell rang. Duo checked his watch, he had lost track of time and hurried to the front door to answer it. "Hang on a second!" He called as he opened the dozen locks that locked him inside the house and everyone else outside. Following the click of the final lock he spun the door open, his breath hitched at the vision on his porch.

Heero looked up at him with innocent eyes, his stance was casual, feet at shoulder's width, arms relaxed, hands tucked into the front pockets of his pair of tight, black leather pants. Duo's gaze trailed down the length of his legs, enjoying the way the leather clung to his shapely thighs. He couldn't stop staring.

"Do you like it?" Heero demonstratively spun around, showing off that the pants fit around his ass even more snugly and deliciously.

Once he found his voice, he managed: "Sure. I- uh, I'm not sure if it is the most suitable attire for dinner."

Heero chuckled deeply. "I'm sorry, I don't go to a lot of dinner parties. I usually go to gay clubs, to dance. I never got any complaints about my tight leather pants there." He winked.

Duo cleared his throat and his eyes traveled down Heero's body once more. "I'm not complaining."

Heero batted his eyelashes coyly and took a step forward, into Duo's personal space. "Good. So... what's for dinner?" He reached up and nimble fingers played with the top button of Duo's dress shirt.

"What are you in the mood for?"

He popped open the button and his finger caressed the revealed skin, tracing the hollow of his collarbone. A seductive grin spread across his full lips. "You."

Duo opened his eyes, squinting at the rays of sun peeking through the slit between the drapes, drawing a bright line across his nightstand and the opposite wall of his bedroom. He groaned and rolled onto his back. He took a deep breath and blew his wayward bangs out of his face. After a moment of calm, he groaned again, as he realized a morning erection was pitching a tent under the sheets. He had been foolish to hope that that unsolicited dream had been a one time thing, the fantasy had taken a hold of him, unwanted and even more frustrating in it's persistence. He had to fix it, but he didn't know how, the last time he dreamt of another man like that, the problem had more or less... solved itself. It had scared him so much he never expected to have to deal with these feelings on such a level again. Clearly he had been wrong to think so.

The harsh memories made quick work of his arousal. A sickly feeling crept up on him and settled in his gut.

He kicked the sheets away from him and trotted across the room to where he had disposed of his jeans the day before. He searched the pockets and produced a crumpled up receipt, Amber's phone number scribbled on the back in blue ink.

She's annoying.

You're not attracted to her.

She's too young for you.

Duo shook the thoughts from his head, they were trying to deceive him, serving a different purpose, aiming for a different outcome. It were the same thoughts that whispered niceties about Heero in his ears. Thoughts he had presumed to have gained control over and to have silenced. More and more of the assumptions he had made had been proven wrong since the arrival of the new neighbor, this warranted drastic measures.

His cell phone he found in his other pocket. With clumsy fingers he dialed the number and held the phone to his ear.

"Hi, this is Amber's answering machine, I'm a great listener, you can tell me anything, but if you actually want to talk to Amber, you should also leave your name and number."

He rolled his eyes at her girlish giggle that followed the message and was startled by the shrill BEEP.

Right, he was supposed to say something now.

"Hi!" He blinked at the volume of his own voice. "I mean: hi," he tried in a lower tone, "that's uh... great message you got there... I wanted to call you about that date... but I probably shouldn't set a date with your answering machine, so... yeah... I'll just call you back later. You're probably still asleep, it's early. I don't know why I called so early. I'm really not a morning person. Though I do always get up early. I mean- I mean out of bed, not "up"! So uh... Bye- Oh, this is Duo, by the way! ... From the store? Yeah. Bye." With his entire face red and tingling he hung up the phone, but the damage had already been done. "A message about morning wood, really?" He asked his own reflection in horror. He snorted sarcastically. "Yeah, that's hot."

He threw the damned device of interpersonal humiliation onto the bed and rushed into the adjoining bathroom for a cold shower to cool down his face and his raging nerves.

Daily routine offered him little relief. His morning coffee didn't bring him the same pleasant caffeine high that it usually did and of the three books from his collection he tried to reread to distract himself, none of them could keep his mind from straying. Inadvertently the day ended up being distantly familiar. The closest thing he could relate it to was awaiting high school prom; fussing about how he looked and what he would say to entertain his date. Not because he particularly cared for this girl, but because his parents had made him well aware of the importance of the ritual, to redeem himself.

After spending an hour in front of his closet, scanning his admittedly sizable collection of clothes, he realized the evening did, indeed, feel eerily similar to a date. He promptly chose an unflattering, casual, mismatched outfit: a sweater of undefined color and old cargo pants.

Duo was sitting on the edge of his bed, tying his tennis shoes - the ugliest shoes he had - when his cell phone started to ring, muffled by the layers of sheets it had become buried under. He hurried to answer it in hopes that it was Heero, calling to cancel, of course as soon as his thumb pressed the button with the green phone-icon, he remembered it was likely someone else.

"Hi, Duo! It's Amber."

Speak! "Uh, hi, Amber."

"Sorry it took so long to get back to you, I left my phone at home and had to work all day. You left the most adorable message though," she practically squealed.

He scrunched up his face in disbelief. "I did?"

"Yes. You were so nervous, it was so sweet," she purred.

"Okay..." he drawled in response.

"About that date... I'm free tonight," Amber announced hopefully.

"Oh, I... I actually have plans tonight," he had barely managed to stop himself short from saying: I have a date tonight.

"Too bad. Maybe tomorrow night then?"

He had no other plans - he rarely did - but he contemplated telling her otherwise. Then he heard the voice of that man in the store, resounding in the back of his head: "Just fucking agree to take her out sometime... Jesus, are you a goddamned queer or something?" He shook his head. "No, I'm not," he gritted through his teeth.

"What did you say?"

With wide eyes he struggled for words momentarily, then, rather victoriously he replied: "I'm not... otherwise engaged. Tomorrow is fine- great!" He amended, wanting to seem enthusiastic.

"Great," she concurred slyly. "You can pick me up at eight at the store. I live just around the corner."

Eight? Wasn't he a little too old for dinner at eight? "Perfect, I'll do that. I'm looking forward to it."

"Me too," she breathed. "Bye, Duo, I'll see you tomorrow."

"Bye." With a sigh he hung up the phone and brought it into his lap. She made no secret of the fact she was into him and he started to doubt his previous presumption that he was being fair by giving her a chance. It didn't feel fair. It didn't feel right. It felt like he was leading her on. After all, he thought it highly unlikely that he would ever have a change of heart regarding her. She had been flirting with him on every level of the spectrum since she started working at the grocery store years ago and there had never been a spark, of any kind. He presumed there had to be some kind of spark between two people. He had never really felt this elusive spark with anyone before, but somehow he fervently believed it was essential to the process. Or maybe he was just making excuses for himself again.

The sudden shriek of the high pitched doorbell traveled through the house, mirroring the shiver that raced through his body.

Duo jumped to his feet and pushed back the sleeve of his hideously colored sweater to look at his watch. "Here we go."

He rushed down the stairs, skipping several steps, but in the hallway he calmed himself and paused. He didn't want to come across as eager. Taking a deep breath he counted to three and then opened the door to welcome his guest.

Much like his dream, the sight before him took his breath away.

Mercifully, Heero wasn't wearing tightly fitting leather pants that hugged his lower body in all the right places - if Duo were to trust his dream, Heero had plenty of "right places" to flaunt. Instead he was equally stunning, if in a more demure manner, in black slacks that made his legs look impossibly long and a midnight blue button-up shirt that drew attention to the unique shade of his exotically slanted eyes.

Don't stare! Duo berated himself. Say something! Words, you remember words, you wrote a book full of them! If possible he made the situation even more excruciatingly embarrassing when his lips let slip: "Wow."

Heero quirked an eyebrow, but his mouth grinned freely. "Wow?"

Duo shook his head. "It's just... I've only ever seen you in old T-shirts and cut-off jeans. This is... different." He looked down at himself, instantly regretting his passive aggressive outfit, for it left him feeling like a perfect idiot. "I feel underdressed."

"You look great," Heero retorted with a sweet smile.

Great, Duo muttered inwardly, now he's smiling at me, this guy doesn't hold back any punches.

The neighbor held up two bottles of wine, red and white. "I didn't know what you were serving, so I didn't know which to bring, but I figured either way would be a welcome change from those cheap beers," he explained.

"I have a feeling we'll be needing both of those," he blurted, desperate for some liquid courage. He stepped aside and gestured for Heero to come inside. When Heero walked past him he caught a whiff of the fresh, vanilla scent of his hair and noted how good he smelled. He recognized he should not be thinking along those lines, he shouldn't have even noticed how Heero smelled. But how do you undo something that has already been done?

"So what did you have planned for dinner?" The young, Japanese man inquired.

"Pasta with spicy shrimp and garlic bread." He chose pasta because it was casual. He chose shrimp because it's more funny than it is sexy. And he chose garlic bread because of garlic breath. It had seemed fool proof to him.

Heero hmm'd.

What that sound did to Duo was decidedly sinful. He asked if he could take the bottles of wine.

"Sure."

"Which one do you want to start with?" Duo asked as he took the bottles from him and walked to the kitchen, followed by his guest.

Heero shrugged. "No preference."

Duo didn't drink much wine - for some reason he could get drunk on it rather quickly - but he preferred red. He figured he might as well enjoy the red first and then the taste of the white wouldn't matter much. With some minor effort he pulled out the cork and poured them both a generous glass. "Here you go." He offered one to Heero.

"Thanks."

At Heero's suggestion they clinked their glasses together in a wordless toast and both took a sip, staring at each other over the edge of their glasses.

"So, delegate me," Heero put his glass on the dinner table and looked up at Duo expectantly, "What can I do to help?"

"Well," Duo looked around his kitchen, for a moment caught of guard, "I make a pretty mean tomato sauce, if I do say so myself, so if you wouldn't mind preparing the shrimp?"

"Not at all. I must warn you though, I'm not much of a gifted chef."

"That's fine, "

While Heero washed his hands Duo gathered the products on the kitchen counter. Heero came to stand beside him and Duo explained: "The shrimp are already cleaned, so all you have to do is put them in a baking dish and toss them with some lime juice, Worcestershire sauce, pepper sauce, oil, Italian seasoning and some black pepper. That is, if you are alright with a spicy meal," he checked.

Heero smirked. "Oh yeah, I can handle hot."

Duo swallowed the excess of saliva that was produced in his mouth and silently fetched him a baking dish from a cabinet.

Heero chuckled softly and set to work.

Duo occupied himself by preheating the oven for the shrimp and garlic bread, preparing the pasta and starting on the tomato sauce. For a moment he was hopeful the kitchen would remain quiet, at least long enough for his anxiety to subside, but Heero offered him little time to take a breather.

He initiated it innocently enough, wondering: "Is this too much?"

Duo glanced over. "No, it's fine. I'll let you know when you are making things too hot- uh, spicy." He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly.

Heero smiled but, mercifully, didn't comment on his Freudian slip. "It already smells delicious," he nodded at the pan in which garlic and shallot sizzled in oil, "I've been craving a home-cooked meal. Thank you so much for inviting me."

"Sure, no problem." He stubbornly focused his gaze on the ingredients in the frying pan.

"Do you cook a lot?" He took two spatulas and absentmindedly started to toss the shrimp through the mixture of spicy ingredients, coating them.

"I used to. Lately, not so much," Duo admitted candidly. "I've been tempted by the ease of microwave meals." He wrought open a jar of tomato sauce and poured it into the pan.

"I understand. Cooking isn't much fun if it's just you."

Curiosity caused him to direct his gaze away from the pan, towards Heero. He noted his expression matched the tone of loneliness in his voice. He could sympathize. "Yeah..."

Done with the shrimp and waiting for the oven to be heated up Heero took the initiative to gently stir the pasta in the boiling water.

"You know, I-" Duo stopped himself, not sure if he should say what he had been thinking, unsure of where it would take the conversation and how it would be interpreted.

"What?"

"No, it's nothing," he tried in vain. He never stood a chance against Heero large, pleading eyes. "I was going to say that I think you are remarkably... mature, especially for your age."

Heero's face split into that striking smile of his. "Really? How so?"

Duo shrugged. "You just have this... calm awareness." He dared to look up at the attractive young man and finished in a quieter, genuine tone: "You know yourself. You see into yourself and make sense of it. I find that pretty extraordinary."

Heero's expression softened. "Thank you."

"It's just the truth." Duo tried to laugh off the unexpected seriousness of the atmosphere.

"Well, if it is, you are the first to say so."

Duo stared at him, transfixed by the look in his eyes and the slight, kindest smile on his lips. "You're welcome."

The smile brightened. Offering much needed lighthearted relief, he teased: "Speaking of maturity, you never told me how old you are." He coyly took a sip of his wine.

Duo chuckled and shook his head. "What about what you said about being allowed to keep secrets?"

"If I guess it and I get it right, will you tell me?" Heero continued.

"If you really want to know you can just Google it. I'm sure there's some info on me from my short-lived glory days as best-selling author."

Ignoring his nonchalant, mildly self-loathing sarcasm, Heero took a shot: "Thirty."

Duo let out a hearty laugh. "You're just saying that because I'm holding a knife," he remarked as he had just started preparing the garlic bread.

"So... no?"

He snorted. "Definitely not."

"If it's any consolation, I really think you look thirty. I had given it quite a bit of thought."

Duo blinked at him in disbelief. "You're serious."

"Yeah."

"Huh..." He couldn't help but grin, self-satisfied. Not bad, old man, he praised himself.

"Considering your amusement, I'm going to say," he paused briefly in thought, "thirty-three?"

"I'm not sure if I find all this incredibly flattering or horribly depressing."

"Thirty-four?"

He didn't answer. The oven beeped and he moved to put in the shrimp and the bread.

"Thirty-five?"

He chuckled and added red and black pepper to the sauce.

"Thirty-six?" Heero's voice got increasingly disbelieving.

"What is this, bingo?"

"Don't tell me your old enough for bingo."

Rumbling laughter erupted out of him, but it died with a pathetic sound at Heero's next, inevitable guess.

"Thirty-seven?"

"Bingo," he eventually admitted.

Heero raised his eyebrows and looked him up and down slowly.

Duo ignored the sinful pleasure he received, Heero's eyes traveling up and down his body. "You're surprised."

"Yes..." Heero concurred. "Though I'm not sure what I am most surprised at. That you look far younger than your age, or that you think you are old, at thirty-seven."

"You don't?"

"No. If you are old, then old men are hot." His eyes widened in shock at his own comment. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean- I don't want to make you uncomfortable."

"It's fine, I guess it my turn to say 'thank you'. So, thank you." He smiled down at him to reassure him. Unlike what he had feared and expected, he actually didn't feel significantly uncomfortable. Only hyper aware of how good Heero looked, how amazing he smelled and how nice his voice sounded and how he is not supposed to be aware of any of these things. But he guiltily enjoyed them regardless. With the oven baking the shrimp and the bread and the sauce simmering in the pan and the pasta nearly done, he invited Heero to sit down at the dinner table and poured them both a second glass.

"Need help?" Heero asked as Duo started setting the table.

"Not at all, besides, I know where everything is."

Heero took a generous drink from his wine. The tips of his fingers played with the stem of the glass as his eyes followed Duo's movements through the kitchen.

"Can I confess something to you?" Duo inquired, sitting down at the table across from Heero.

"Of course."

"I was afraid this evening was going to be a disaster."

Heero joked with a chuckle: "Well, the night isn't through yet." After a pause and another sip of wine, he wondered: "Why did you think that?"

"I saw you reading my book again, yesterday evening."

"Spying on me?" The neighbor asked, drawing his index finger along the curved rim of the wineglass.

Yes. "I just saw you, when I pulled into the driveway. I was afraid you were studying, trying to find inconsistencies or points of disagreement. Looking for ammunition." He sat back down and looked down into his glass, listening to the oven humming behind him in the otherwise quiet kitchen.

With his unrivaled, kind smile, Heero informed him with deep, smooth voice: "I was rereading some of my favorite parts."

Duo released a deep breath. "I didn't think you would have favorite parts. The book isn't very accepting of your lifestyle. You must disagree with everything it says."

"I do," Heero was quick to point out, the smile faltering. "The story is hard for me to read, painful, coarse, ruthless." There it was again, that smile, spreading across his lips. "But I told you before, when we had that first beer, I have imagination. I see things. I see beauty in things that are rotten, that would disgust other people. It wasn't all that hard to see the beauty in your book. In it's honesty, in it's heartfelt emotionality, in it's hopefulness, in it's confused but... loving main character..."

Momentarily he was left speechless, staring into Heero's cobalt eyes as he stared back at him. There was something between them. There was a spark.

To make light of the situation Duo snorted and commented: "Are you sure you are twenty-five?"

Heero's smile brightened but there was a sadness in the depth of his eyes, probably at having the subject changed.

Thankfully, the oven beeped, offering Duo a much needed escape. He busied himself with the final preparations of the meal, tossing the pasta through the sauce and putting a generous amount of it in two deep dishes, topping it off with the spicy shrimps. "Here you go," he said, presenting the finished product to Heero.

"Hmmm, it smells delicious."

"Enjoy." He sat back down and unceremoniously started shoveling pasta into his mouth. He hadn't even realized how hungry he had been, after skipping lunch. It also didn't hurt that one could not talk with his mouth full.

Heero laughed at his behavior and then took his first, more modest, bite. "Hmmm..."

He is going to have to stop making that sound, Duo thought to himself.

"It's amazing! You are a great cook!"

Duo denied the slight flush to his cheeks at the compliment. "Give yourself half the credit."

The younger man scoffed. "Tossing shrimp isn't exactly rocket science."

"Neither is putting together a simple sauce, or boiling water for pasta and following the instructions on the packaging," he said, returning a smile. "Garlic bread?"

Heero accepted the piece offered to him. "Yes please."

They ate in silence. To Duo's surprise, it wasn't an uncomfortable silence, rather an easy one. It felt like, for the time being, words weren't necessary and in the absence of potentially damaging words, Duo got to enjoy Heero's presence; his company. He toyed with the idea of what it would be like to be Heero's friend and for some inexplicable reason, his smiled. Luckily Heero was too busy enjoying his food to notice.

The exotic man had more outstanding qualities than just his exceptionally good looks. He was incredibly, almost unfathomably kind and obviously intelligent. But what was perhaps most remarkable about the astonishingly young man - considering his emotional maturity - was what he exuded: a sense of ease, a sense of acceptance and a sense of calm. It was nearly therapeutic, just sitting across a table from him.

Heero suddenly looked up, catching Duo's lingering gaze. He didn't say anything, but his eyes sparkled and the corner of his mouth curved in a barely detectable smirk. Then he looked back down at his plate to focus on his last few bites of dinner.

Duo topped of their glasses, finishing the bottle. He drank from his glass like it was water. He hoped the alcohol would have a numbing effect on him, so he wouldn't feel that shiver running down his spine every time Heero's blue eyes settled on him, with that sweet, youthful but also apologetically knowing look of his.

He knows, the American feared. He knows that around him, I'm not feeling as straight as I aimed to be, he told himself inwardly as they started loading the dishes in the dishwasher. He created smoke and mirrors with small-talk regarding the next door renovation, relieved that Heero talked eagerly and enthusiastically, not intent on changing the subject.

Once the task of cleaning up was completed, Heero tentatively spoke up: "So, maybe it's time for me to go home now?" He clearly didn't want to and was hoping Duo would extend an invitation to stay.

He recognized that he probably should have gratefully accepted the easy way out, but as he was about to, he realized he didn't want Heero to leave, as foolish and possibly self-destructive as that would be. He picked up the bottle of white wine his guest had also brought and wondered casually: "Weren't you planning on helping me drink this one? You were the one who once said friendship is about getting fat and drunk together."

Heero chuckled. "Then I'd better practice what I preach."

At Duo's suggestion they headed for the living room.

Duo sat down on his comfortable couch, expecting Heero to take the chair opposite the saloon table like he had the last time - when he had brought over pizza and beer - but this time the young Asian bravely and innocently took a seat on the couch, next to him. He had left an appropriate amount of distance between them, but still Duo had to wonder - whilst swallowing a thick lump in his throat - whether it meant anything. His dream of the other night assaulted him with white hot flashes. He could vividly picture Heero's hand caressing up his thigh. Pathetically nervous he scooted as far away from Heero as he could, which wasn't far, pressing his left hip against the armrest.

He poured the wine anew, praying Heero wouldn't spot the tremble of his hands. "Here you go."

"Thank you."

"I normally don't drink this much," Duo confessed, hoping that if Heero had noticed how jittery he was, he would figure the alcohol was to blame.

"I'm a wealth of bad habits," he replied, putting the glass against his slightly smirking lips.

Amen to that.

"Duo," Heero started, his quiet voice fine as silk.

"Yeah?"

"I really wish not to make your fears come true and have this evening be a disaster, but there is one thing I must ask you."

His heart started to pound. He had a feeling Heero would reignite the topic of his sexuality and he honestly didn't know what he could say to defend his heterosexuality. Sharing the couch with Heero, he didn't feel convincingly hetero. He took a sip of wine in an attempt to ease his nerves.

"If it's okay for me to eat shrimp, why is it not okay for me to eat cock?"

Shocked at the turn of events and the choice of words, he spewed his wine all over himself, the couch and even Heero. His entire face was red with embarrassment. Spontaneous combustion would have been a blessing.

Heero started laughing. A rumbling, infectious laughter that he could not control. "I'm sorry," he said between laughs, "I didn't think you were going to do that!"

It was probably the wine but, regardless, Duo laughed with him and joked along, patting the droplets off the couch: "Good thing it was white wine."

"I'm so sorry!" The younger man repeated, but he kept laughing, struggling to keep the glass in his own hands steady.

Duo was grateful for the humorous moment, but he knew it was unavoidable that once the moment would pass, Heero would rephrase the question, still in search of an answer.

Proving Duo right, after the laughter died out and they had both caught their breath, Heero asked: "Seriously though, doesn't it say in the Bible that eating shellfish is an abomination? The way homosexuality is an abomination?"

He had an answer to the question, because he had asked that same question many times. Unfortunately no matter how often he had been told the answer, he found little solace and reassurance in it. Nonetheless, he told Heero what he had been taught: "Those regulations about what to eat and what to wear are different from the word of God that condemns homosexuality, and all fornication and immorality, as a sin. Those regulations were external means of the flesh to separate God's people from all other people. When Jesus came the people were no longer held to these external laws, instead God's people were to separate themselves by spiritual means."

Heero let the explanation sink in, then pointed out: "That sounded like you were reading it from a book."

Duo sighed. "Not from a book. From memory. I used to ask a lot of questions, when I was younger. Trying to find loopholes in the scripture, to convince myself and others that homosexuality could be accepted, even by God. I came to realize there was no way to change the teachings of God, if I were to live free of sin, I could only change myself. So that's what I did."

"That's what you did..." Heero absentmindedly mirrored. "Do you think I'm an abomination?"

"I'm supposed to..."

"But you don't?"

"I don't know," he admitted, "I try not to think about it that way. I focus on myself. Applying God's teachings on myself. The last time I tried to get someone else to conform to God's word, it didn't go so well..."

Heero straightened his back, slightly leaning in towards Duo, interested by the candid sharing. "Thomas? Was that real?"

The author let out a single, bitter laugh. "Let's just say calling it "semi-autobiographical" was putting it mildly... His real name was Anthony."

Some of the color seemed to drain from Heero's finely sculpted features. "I'm so sorry." He fell silent, if his distant eyes were any indication, he was obviously remembering what he had read about Anthony in the book, all reality, unimaginatively hidden under an alias. "Is everything about the book real?" He tentatively inquired.

"All but the names and the ending. I decided not to include my divorce. I aimed to end it on a positive note, unbeknownst that, according to WuFei, Jack is "dead inside" by the end of the story."

Heero seemed overwhelmed by the revelation that practically everything about the book was reality. "I suspected a lot of it was true, or at least based in reality, but everything? Wow. Thank you."

"For what?"

"For your honesty. I think it is very brave, to let me read it and confide in me that practically all of it really happened to you."

Duo mustered a smile, realizing thanks to Heero that he could be proud of himself. He never thought he would dare to fully open up to anybody aside from WuFei. It was a novel feeling. It was intense and frightening but felt as a relief nevertheless.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

The author shook his head. "Actually, no. I think I've shared enough about myself with you... To be honest, it's kind of weird..." he looked at his neighbor with a slight frown, "You know so much about me, there is no secrecy or privacy left for me. But I know very little about you. It's annoying," he joked, although there was truth in jest.

Heero replied seriously and sincerely: "I think that is fair. If we're being honest, I never told you the entire story of why I started renovating houses. Would you like to know? Quid pro quo?"

He nodded, curious and interested.

Heero took a deep breath and released a nervous scoff. "Better pour me some more wine, I really don't like telling this story without a substantial buzz."

Duo obliged, impatient for the story.

He took a large drink and chuckled breathlessly before he started: "Like I said, I was in business school when my parents had their accident. I was such a fucking geek. Homework was my hobby. The university library was my favorite place in the whole world," he spoke wistfully, but his tone quickly changed.

"In hindsight it was a very childish and secluded existence, a bubble. When my parents died, that bubble burst. They were the only constant positive reinforcement I ever got and when they were gone I realized the world wasn't nearly as accepting as they were and I felt like I was fighting a losing battle. My grades took a nosedive and I was informed I need no longer attend classes and had to vacate my dorm room. With part of my parents inheritance I bought a crappy apartment in the gay bar district. A seedy, disgusting little place. And I wasted a lot of their money on drugs and alcohol and paying to get into the hottest clubs. I had a lot of sex and I couldn't tell you any of their names. Wouldn't even be able to pick out their face in a line-up." Heero looked up at Duo for the first time since the story took a turn. He must have expected judgment, condemnation, but Duo refrained from those.

In truth he experienced a sense of thrill, finally getting to know something truly intimate about Heero's life. The only other person in the world Duo had ever had completely honest conversations with was WuFei. However, as precious as his Chinese friend was to him, Duo didn't realize until just then, with Heero looking at him with uncertainty in his eyes, that he needed more than a single, well-meaning, stubborn friend.

When Heero was confidant Duo wouldn't berate him for former mistakes, he continued, with less of a hesitant tremble to his voice: "I didn't care. I didn't care that they didn't love me and that I didn't love them. I was already deemed a sickening, sinful faggot, I figured I might as well live up to expectations." His voice lacked the resentment at the common, degrading perspective on homosexuals that Duo had expected. There was that calm again. That acceptance. For the first time it dawned on the American how horrible it was for a young man like Heero to be so used to other people's prejudice that he had become used to it, desensitized by it.

"So what turned it around?" Duo encouraged, intrigued by the story.

Heero first finished his glass of wine and leaned forward to place it on the coffee table. With his hands free, his fingers started to fidget with the hem of his midnight blue shirt. "Being scared shitless," he admitted with a bitter chuckle, "An HIV scare."

Duo's body tensed up, he prayed Heero hadn't noticed, he didn't want his involuntarily physical reactions to add to the younger man's discomfort.

"I wasn't always as safe as I shouldn't been. As my parents made me promise I would be. Being told by a recent fuck," he made a face at his own crude terminology and apologized for it, then amended: "Being told by a recent one-night-stand that I should get tested jostled me awake. It made me realize how much I was disappointing my parents. They had always supported me, accepted me and I honored their memory by throwing away my life?" His shook at his own past behavior. "I was shocked at myself. I didn't recognize myself. If you had seen me then, you wouldn't have commended me for my maturity."

Duo waited patiently as Heero paused to take a few deep breaths. In between them he stated with a crooked smile: "It's harder than I thought."

"What is?"

"To tell you this."

The American didn't say anything. He didn't want Heero to feel forced to continue the story if he wasn't comfortable telling it. Even though he was dying to know the continuation of it.

"I had to wait three months to get tested. Three fucking months. That's how long it takes for the telltale HIV antibodies to develop and reach a detectable level. I had to keep myself busy, to prevent insanity. At that time my disgusting apartment became a representation of me. I became obsessed with the need to fix it, hoping that, somehow, it would reflect on me and my test would come back negative." He snorted. "Anyway, I stripped the entire place and started rebuilding it. Plastering, painting, putting together an IKEA kitchen... It drove me stir crazy but I was determined. If that place could be made worthy of a second chance, than I figured so could I."

An understanding dawned on Duo. It explained something that he previously had a hard time understanding; why a recently orphaned twenty-year-old business school drop-out would chose a nomadic life of remodeling houses.

"The three months passed. The apartment looked perfect and it was time for my test." Heero paused.

Duo noticed his breath hitched in anticipation. He was reminded of some of his favorite books. The suspense, the sympathy. It was novel that something real-life gripped him as much as those fictional stories did. Normally he was numb to such sensations by complete and utter disinterest. But for some reason Heero was interesting. Heero mattered. More than any of his favorite protagonists.

"It was negative."

Unconsciously he released a sigh of relief. He would have hated for Heero to be permanently punished for a momentary lapse of reason. Duo believed in second chances, he didn't like the thought of God as a ruthless, uncompromising punisher; a bully. In spite of the fact that he was taught differently by his parents and his childhood priest, who pointed out to him the words in the Bible that read: "If there is a man who lies with a male as those who lie with a woman, both of them have committed a detestable act; they shall surely be put to death".

He didn't know much of HIV, or AIDS, though the words always summoned a relation to homosexuality, but he knew he always felt sick when there was another protest on the news and people held up signs that said: THANK GOD FOR AIDS.

"I was clean," the Japanese man continued and a genuine smile appeared on his face, contradicted by the sadness in his cobalt eyes. "Of course I was happy, but the happiness was quickly replaced by a sense of lack of purpose. I couldn't go back to school, I didn't want to. Like the apartment I had been stripped of my old interior. The structure was still the same, but the inside was different. It was another desperate time of not knowing who I was and what I was going to do with my life. Then my neighbor saw what I had done to the place and he had his sister, a realtor, contact me. She convinced me to put the apartment on the market and in no time I was made an offer I couldn't refuse. It covered the entire cost of the renovation and then some." His lips formed a cheeky grin. "And... well... there you have it. That is how it started. I used the money from the sale and the last of my inheritance to buy another fix-me-upper and that is what I have been doing ever since."

"Giving hopeless cases a second chance..." Duo concluded.

"Yeah."

"Thank you for telling me. We're still not even," he joked, to lighten the atmosphere, "But thank you."

Heero laughed. "You're welcome. I know it's not much and I know it's not a bestseller, but... it hasn't been translated into seven languages. I haven't told many people of that time in my life. It's hard to admit that you have failed..."

Duo looked away.

"... even if you have since scrambled back on your feet. So I hope that you know that it is a pretty big deal for me that you know."

Duo nodded, grateful and honored.

Another one of those amazing smiles was presented to him, making his skin shiver but his heart feel warmed.

He shook his head to break the spell. "Let's drink to that," was the suggestion he made to fill the silence and emptied the bottle of wine evenly between their two glasses, handing Heero his.

They made another wordless toast and each hid their own expression behind his glass.

"How is the renovation going?"

The neighbor laughed at the shameless change of topic, but answered regardless. "It's going very well. I'm nearly done with the outside of the house, except for the front porch. In a couple of weeks a friend is coming over to help me build a new one. Before then I plan to have the garden stripped of those gnarly trees and do some landscaping. Then I start work on the interior. If I work fast enough he is going to help me with the floors as well."

"A friend?"

"Yes."

"That sounds nice."

Heero chuckled. "You sound so surprised. I do have friends, you know? I am actually quite a likable person."

"I know," Duo blurted, biting his lower lip at his outburst.

Heero blessedly ignored the awkward confession, but the light in his eyes assured Duo had he had heard him and that he had enjoyed it. "If you want, you could meet him."

"Who?"

A quiet, breathless laugh. "My friend."

He nodded. "I'd like that."

"When I have a fully operational kitchen I plan to invite all my friends over for dinner. I know it's a long way into the future, but if you want, I would really like for you to be there, meet them all."

The prospect was nerve-wracking to Duo. He didn't exactly excel in social situations. He was always awkward and forced, could never refrain from saying things he wasn't supposed to; from saying too much. He was already pressured by the need to make a good impression, that same pressure that would have him fail, in spite of all his good intentions. Still, he accepted the invitation. He would cross that bridge when he would get to it.

The last of the wine was finished.

The younger man put away his glass on the coffee table, then sat back against the soft cushions. He rested his hand on the seat between them, only a few inches away from Duo's thigh. He studied the American's face. The hand moved, it reached towards him. Duo was frozen; fear or anticipation, he couldn't tell, but his heart was pounding. Heero grabbed the tied end of Duo's braid and stroked the feathered tip with his thumb. With he frown he questioned: "Why do you keep your hair so long? It was never explained in the book."

"That is because Jack doesn't have long hair, so it is not part of the story."

Heero smiled. "You aren't going to tell me. Are you?"

Duo grinned. "I think you've learned enough about me already. So, no."

His expression was one of disappointment as well as understanding.

"Not yet, anyway."

The magical smile returned.

Duo took the tip from Heero's hand, their fingers brushing. As he did so, lightening struck him; God smiting him for his insubordination as a flash of his dream returned to him, the first dream. Visions of Heero's hands splayed on his thigh and his lips tantalizingly close. He blinked and it was all gone. He had mixed feelings about that, to his dismay. He threw his braid over his shoulder, out of sight.

Heero retreated his hand, placed it in his own lap, alongside his other.

It would be foolish to think Heero hadn't noticed Duo's internal reaction to his touch. Wondering what the young man was thinking, drove him crazy. In his disarray, he stated with misplaced pride: "I have a date tomorrow."

For a moment the only reaction was a single twitch of Heero's brows: the start and immediately subsequent suppression of a frown.

Duo noted there was a quiver in his own breath every time he exhaled. He was nervous and anxious. He didn't fully understand why, but suspected it had something to do with the expression on Heero's face. Blank. Like his smile had never existed. Duo worried what it meant, that his remark could make that smile disappear. He worried not because of what he thought it meant. He worried because he liked what it could possibly mean. That Heero's interest in him wasn't as platonic as he dutifully presented it to be.

"That's great," he eventually commented.

"Yeah."

"Who is it?"

Duo frowned, not sure if it was any of Heero's business, but he answered because he wanted to boast. "I don't think you know her, but she is a cashier at a local grocery store."

"The Whole Foods Market on Bridgeton road?"

"Uh... yeah."

"I shop there too. Closest organic grocery store. I'm guessing then that the cashier you are referring to is Amber?"

Duo blinked, perplexed. "How did you know?"

He smirked in response, "Clearly you only pay attention to her when go to check out. The only other cashiers I have seen are nearing their sixties. Or are male."

In all honesty, he never used to pay attention to any of them, it just so happened that Amber always persistently paid attention to him. "Oh."

"She's very friendly. I make small talk with her whenever I'm there. I can see why you would date her. She is very pretty too."

There was no resentment in Heero's tone. Why did that disappoint him?

"I'm jealous of her."

Duo's face went red. "Wha- why?"

"She gets to enjoy your cooking," was the innocent answer.

"I'm not cooking her dinner. I'm taking her out to a nice restaurant. That's what you do on a date."

"Of course," the Japanese man agreed mysteriously. "I should probably head home."

"Yeah."

Heero rose from the couch, followed by Duo, and offered him a formal handshake. "Thank you for dinner."

"You're welcome. I'll walk you out." He guided his guest back to the front door and held it open for him. As Heero walked past him and stepped onto the porch, he realized what Heero had been getting at before. The evening had felt a lot like a date. Deviously, Duo's mind supplied that it felt out of place not to kiss him goodnight. His mind was corrupting his heart, he recognized and determinedly ignored it's unhelpful suggestions.

He was not gay! He had chosen not to be! Still, those lips... he thought as Heero turned around to face him.

"So, tell me," the young man started, "was this night as disastrous as you had initially feared?"

"No," Duo breathed in response. "Not at all. I'm sorry for suspecting it would go badly."

Heero smiled kindly. "I'm sorry for making you suspect that."

He shook his head and assured him: "That was not your fault. It was my own. I need to learn to... have as much faith in mankind as I do in God."

"Goodnight Duo," Heero said softly and with only a minute waver of his sweet smile he added: "Enjoy your date, tomorrow." He slipped his hands into the front pockets of his slacks and started walking away, back to the old house next door.

Duo didn't trust his voice, so he didn't say anything, instead, he watched his guest as he went back home. Realizing it was inappropriate to have his gaze linger on the young man, he stepped back into the hallway and closed the front door. He leaned against it heavily, with a troubled sigh. All he could think was that he didn't want to spend tomorrow evening with Amber. Beautiful as she was, he'd much prefer another evening with Heero. That silent admission surprised him, but it was true. Heero was a paradox of feelings to him, no one in his life could make him as uncomfortable as Heero, with his uncanny, knowing eyes, seductive voice and uninhibited boldness. Similarly, no one in his life could make him as comfortable as Heero, with his exceptional kindness, his radiating calm and his accepting, unargumentative nature. It was an emotional tug-of-war that he secretly, masochistically enjoyed. It was exciting.

It was a spark.

He groaned and pushed away from the door. "Don't start thinking like that, Maxwell. It's just physical. It's carnal desire, trying to persuade you to stray from the path you know to be righteous!" He argued with himself as he switched off all the lights downstairs and headed up to his bedroom.

Blessedly, his sleep was dreamless. It gave him hope. Mind over matter. Faith over desire.

The next day became an eerie mirror image of the day before. Deciding to replicate the conditions of his 'date' with Heero, to prove to himself he could have a similarly enjoyable, exciting and enthralling time with Amber, he went to the store - coincidentally Amber wasn't working - and selected ingredients for another home-cooked meal, fussing over details and hidden meanings. At home he contemplated what to wear at length. For the occasion he settled on something a little more romantic. When he inspected his reflection in the mirror, he denied that he had basically copied Heero's outfit from the previous night: black slacks and an untucked dark blue dress shirt. He also didn't like to dwell on the notion that he wasn't as impressed with his own appearance as he had been with Heero's.

During the day his eyes kept finding the windows. In the morning he would frequently spot Heero on the ladder at the side of the house, finishing painting the paneling. Once that task was completed he didn't see the young neighbor around anymore. Though at some point, as he busied readying the kitchen - basically for a repeat of last night - he noticed Heero's truck leaving, the engine grunting and sputtering, only to return half an hour later.

Not that he was paying any attention to the activities of his neighbor. He didn't care.

When it was time to go pick up Amber he was tired and starving. He had predicted the late hour wouldn't agree with him, but that was not something he could confide in Amber. He estimated her to be as young as Heero, but probably not nearly as accepting of his true age.

The drive to the store was about ten minutes. He intently focused on the music; one love song after the other. They did nothing for his mood, which was reduced to clinical determination. Probably not the right mindset to have a date in.

He parked his sedan by the entry to the store and got out of the car, his stance purposefully casual, leaning against the side of the vehicle. As such the wait began. He checked his watch every few minutes, becoming increasingly impatient. Even though he hadn't felt it vibrate, he took his cell phone out of his pocket and checked for messages. There weren't any. And his watch was not broken, the clock on his cell phone read the same time: eight thirty.

What caused him most frustration was that at this rate they wouldn't be having dinner until nine thirty - at best, until then his stomach would cause him due embarrassment, rumbling with hunger as he had skipped lunch in the commotion of preparing for his first real date in a decade.

He made a face as a question suddenly came to him: Was he being stood up?

Just as he asked himself that and self-doubt started to flood him, Amber rounded the corner and walked up to him.

He inconspicuously checked his watch. A quarter to nine.

"Hi!" She beamed a smile at him and kissed him lightly on the corner of his mouth.

"Uh, hi." He demonstratively looked down at his watch. "I was getting worried you weren't going to show."

She giggled. "You know how girls can get when they are getting ready for a date."

He didn't, but in the interest of not letting that be blatantly apparent, he didn't further question the matter.

"Okay, that's not true!" She paused to laugh, then explained: "My roommate told me I should show up late, make you sweat."

"You did more than make me sweat, you made me hungry." He walked around the car to open the passenger side door for her. He was eager to drop the topic, because she was already annoying him. Unhelpful as always, his mind supplied that Heero had been perfectly on time.

"Aren't you going to say anything about my dress?" She asked with a pout as she followed him to the other side of the car.

Only then did it occur to him to give her a once over. She was wearing a short, skintight fuchsia dress that revealed a lot of skin: her long legs, her slender arms and her cleavage, with a hint of black lace from her bra. She was wearing a lot of make-up - dark eyes, dark lips and heavy foundation - it distracted from her natural beauty. In spite of the fact Duo had never felt attracted to her, it had not gone unnoticed that even in the harsh lighting of the grocery store, without any make-up, she was a beautiful, young woman. With layers of make-up piled onto her face, she actually succeeded in making herself less pretty. Yet, he had been married once, however brief, so he knew better than to tell her the truth. Instead, he complimented her appearance and earned himself a smile.

"Where are we going?" She asked as she took a seat in the car.

"I was thinking, if it doesn't set off any alarm bells in your head, we could have dinner at my place."

"That is so sweet. I think that is a great idea."

"Really, so you don't mind?"

She shrugged. "I told my roommate who I am with. So if I turn up dead in a ditch somewhere, you'll be prime suspect number one." She giggled.

Okay... He shut the car door and walked around to driver's side wide-eyed. He opened the car door on his side to her changing the radio channel over and over again. "Something specific you are looking for?" He sat down and started the engine.

"No. You just had it on this really dull channel, with those cheesy prehistoric love songs."

"It was an eighties soft rock channel... Never mind." Arguing wasn't much of a turn on. Much less of a turn on was her calling the eighties prehistoric. Considering he entered and left puberty in the eighties. He had already gone through a serious life crisis by the end of the nineteen eighties, whereas at the end of 1989 Amber's biggest concerns were still what she would get for Christmas.

It was disconcerting that this bothered him. Seeing as he didn't give it any though the previous evening when he was with Heero, whom he estimated to be about as old as Amber.

Wanting to have the uncertainty resolved, he inquired gently: "So, how old are you?"

She playfully punched him. "You are not supposed to ask a lady about her age." After a cackle she answered: "I'm twenty-four."

He nodded at having his suspicions confirmed.

"How about you? How old are you?"

He repositioned his clammy hands on the steering wheel. "Uhm... why don't you guess?"

She didn't give it much thought. "Thirty!" She blurted.

Interestingly Heero had started at the same guess. It was a boost for his ego. Maybe he really did look only thirty years old. Not comfortable going down the same road with her as he had with Heero the evening before - fearing her judgment as surely not every twenty-something-year-old could be so open-minded - he lied: "Correct."

"Shut up! Shut. Up! Really?"

No. "Yes."

"Oh my God, how amazing am I at this game? Seriously, this is the second time I have gotten someone's age right with the first guess in, like, a week!"

He smiled. He liked that she didn't make a big deal about the age-difference, even though her guess severely narrowed the gap, six years was a pretty big deal to some people. Especially when one of those people is out of their twenties and the other isn't.

"Oh my god, my roommate is totally gonna laugh at me when I tell her how old you are!"

Never mind. "You think I'm old?"

"Well, duh, you're like... a real adult, you know?"

He neglected to inform her that, technically, so was she.

She must have seen him tense up, because she leaned in close and purred in his ear. "Don't worry though, you are the sexiest old guy, ever. I've been crushing on you ever since I first saw you. You are just so tall and handsome and delicious!"

He hid his scrunched up face at her remarks by turning his head away, pretending to be looking over his shoulder to monitor the traffic surrounding them.

"Speaking of delicious, what are you going to cook me?"

"I actually thought we could cook together."

Judging by her expression that didn't really excite her.

"Here it is." He pulled the car into the driveway.

She leaned forward in her seat - the seatbelt cutting into her cleavage - to observe the house through the windshield. It was dark outside but the lights in the front yard and by the porch illuminated the house. "Wow, it's amazing."

"Thank you." He got out and walked around the car to opened the door for her and offered her a hand to help her out. How girls walked in the kind of heels Amber was wearing had always been a mystery to him.

"You are so old-fashioned!"

With his back turned towards her he felt free to roll his eyes. He glanced quickly at the old house. The red truck was in the driveway and the lights downstairs were on, but he didn't see Heero anywhere.

Amber complimented every aspect of his home as he took her inside, from the paint on the walls to the pattern of the carpet. The amount of books astonished her.

Quite proud of his amassed personal library he asked her what she thought of his collection.

She pivoted on her heels to face him and asked with excited tone: "Do you have the Twilight books?"

"No, I'm sorry, I don't think I do."

"Too bad, those are my favorites. To be honest they are the only books I have ever finished." She laughed and continued: "In high school we used to have to read all these old book that were supposedly a big deal and then write reports about them. Thank God for wikipedia, right? They can't expect us to read all those books and then have us write summaries for them. I was like: Teacher, read it yourself. I mean, what difference does it make in real life if I have read Hamlet or not, right?"

"Right."

"Did you know they are making a Twilight movie? I am so dying to see that. It's supposed to premiere at the end of this year. I can't wait."

"That must be very exciting," he replied unenthusiastically. "Let's head into the kitchen and get started on dinner, it's already past nine."

"Or!" She stalked over to him and placed her hands against his chest. "We could just order pizza. That way I don't have to risk losing one of my fingernails and we save time for... desert?" She winked seductively.

He looked down at her hands on his torso, at her long fingernails specifically. Of course they were fake, from seeing her in the store he knew she had short, bitten nails. He didn't understand why she would go to such lengths - fake fingernails, fake eyelashes and pounds of make-up - to cover up perceived imperfections that he already knew about. He knew men joked about it all the time, but in this way, women really were a mystery to the opposite gender.

Having no desire to prolong this date, Duo agreed to her suggestion and picked up the phone to order pizza, it didn't matter to her which kind, or so she kept assuring him. Waiting for their dinner to arrive he set the table and listened to her talk about those books she mentioned.

Eventually, she wondered: "What's your favorite book?"

"The bible," he answered.

Amber started laughing, however when she picked up on his unamused expression she silenced herself. "I'm sorry. I thought you were making a joke."

"I wasn't. Though, of course, the Bible is more than and thus different from a regular book."

"My dad always says the Bible is the best marketed work of fiction ever."

He sighed.

Luckily the doorbell interrupted the conversation. Duo paid the deliveryman and brought the pizza to the kitchen. They ate in complete silence. Amber had less than one slice. She said she wasn't hungry but Duo worried she just didn't like the kind of pizza he had decided on, or was perhaps self-conscious about eating in his presence.

After dinner she asked if she could go wash up somewhere. Duo directed her to the upstairs bathroom. He busied himself clearing the table but once he was done with that chore he leaned his hands on the kitchen counter and stared out the window. He could see Heero in one of the front rooms of the old house, peeling old wallpaper off the walls. The neighbor was wearing nothing more than a pair of dark, low-riding sweatpants. Reaching up to grab a loose corner of the next strip of wallpaper his muscles visibly stretched and strained under his golden skin.

"Hey."

Amber's sudden presence startled him. He offered her an awkward smile, feeling like he had just been caught red-handed.

"Wanna move this date to the couch?"

"Yes," he said, but for the wrong reasons. He just wanted to prove that these deceptive desires would not get the better of him and that they were physical only and could just as easily be satisfied by a woman. He swallowed the lump of regret that formed in his throat at the awareness that he was abusing Amber's willingness and trailed her to the living room.

She sat down and invitingly patted the cushion right next to her.

Her gingerly sat down and tensed up when she scooted closer, so their thighs were touching.

"It was a good idea of you to have dinner at your place," she purred in his ear as she boldly placed her hand on his thigh.

With trembling voice he responded: "This is not why-" He cut his sentence short to emit a gasp when she ran her open mouth along the shell of his ear, her breath hot against his skin, causing him to tremble.

"Am I going to get into your pants, Duo?" She asked sensually.

"I don't know... How good are you with a zipper?"

She chuckled breathlessly. Her tongue darted out to further tease his ear while her hand started traveling up his thigh.

How was he not supposed to vividly remember his dream given the situation? His cheeks went red when he realized he was getting hard.

"Wait, Amber, this isn't why I invited you to my place. I think this is all going a little too fast."

Amber's hand stopped short of the crook of his thigh. "Duo, we both know that there is never going to be a second date between us. We're just not compatible. There is nothing wrong, however, in turning a bust of a date into a fun one-night-stand."

He stared at her quizzically. "You really think so?"

"Yeah. And it seems to me like you could really use a little something-something. Release all that tension."

"You're so... nonchalant about it... I hadn't expected that."

She smiled. "You're not Mister Right for me, but you are Mister Perfectly-Fine. I'm really interested in fucking Mister Perfectly-Fine right now. So let me." Her hand boldly moved to cup his confined erection.

"O-okay," he consented and relaxed against the back of the couch.

Her luscious lips descended upon him and she pressed her breast against him. Her hand in his lap was not idle. She proved to be very apt at undoing buttons and lowering zippers and soon enough her hand reached inside his pants, skin only separated by the thin layer of cotton of his briefs.

He cupped her face and kissed her back fervently, struggling to hang onto reality, fighting sinful fantasies. But soon enough it wasn't Amber on his couch anymore. It was Heero. In his tight leather pants that had made a marvelous appearance in Duo's other dream.

Her touch became his touch. Her kiss became his kiss. Her body became his body. Her face became his face. Her mouth became his mouth. Her name became his name.

Duo kissed his mouth passionately, fighting his teasing tongue into submission. His hands trailed down Heero's long, slender neck, feeling the powerful pulse that rivaled his own. He heard the sound of the leather pants as Heero threw one of his legs over Duo's and slowly grinded his pelvis against Duo's hip. The young man's hand briefly vacated his lap to slip under his shirt and trail up his abdomen, then it slowly moved back down and the long, slim fingers pushed past the elastic hem of Duo's underwear.

Foolishly deceived by the fantasy, Duo called out in pleasure: "Ohhh, Heero."

He hadn't even realized his mistake until his projected fantasy of the beautiful man retreated from the kiss, scrunched up his face and demanded: "What?"

Duo blinked at Amber, surprised at his unplanned, unwelcome and premature return to reality. He cleared his throat and feigned innocence. "What?"

"You said "Heero"," Amber rightfully accused. pulling away slightly. "What is that supposed to mean?"

He didn't know. He genuinely didn't know. But he was fearful, not necessarily of her judgment but of His. He was fearful the truth would be as unbearable to her as it was to him. Every lie was as shamefully pathetic as the next. There was nothing sensible he could say. He dumbly tried: "Nothing, it means nothing," wishing, more than anything, for that to be true. Than he wouldn't be feeling a certain way and she wouldn't be looking at him a certain way: disgusted.

"Nothing?" She repeated incredulously. She completely removed herself from him, clearly unsure how to act. Her wide eyes stared into thin air.

Duo zipped up his pants and straightened his clothing, not knowing how to behave either.

Amber's eyes narrowed as an epiphany must have come to her. "Isn't Heero your neighbor?"

Oh God. Duo felt sick. His face went pale. "Uhh... no, no, I don't think so."

She glared at him dangerously. "You fucking liar! Heero is your neighbor! I know he is! He comes to store and talks about his renovation of the old house on Ember street. If I am not mistaken, this is Ember street and that house-" she gestured in the direction of the old house next door, "is the only house that I saw that looks to be in a state of renovation!"

And here he thought she wasn't so bright. Shit.

She didn't stop to give him time for vain explanations. "Were you fantasizing about him while I was...? He's a guy! Are you guys gay together or something?"

"No! No he and I aren't anything together," he stressed desperately, "It was just a slip of the tongue!"

Amber snorted, not falling for his poor lies. She rose from the couch and stomped towards the front door, meanwhile fishing her cell phone out of her tiny, sparkly purse.

"At least let me drive you home," Duo tried.

She laughed bitterly. "No way, then I might actually end up in a ditch somewhere, now that I know your dirty little secret." She ripped the door open and slammed it shut behind her.

He could hear her angry footfalls on the porch, then on the stone pathway leading to the street.

She shouted into her cell phone: "I need a cab! Seventh on Ember street! Make it quick!"

He watched her from the windows until the taxi arrived and she left, to make sure she would be alright. With a heavy feeling he sunk back into the soft cushions of the couch. When his worry about her wellbeing and guilt for what he had done to her slowly dissipated, they were replaced by a new disconcerting fear. What if she told Heero what happened, next time he went to the store?

"Oh you are so stupid Maxwell," he groaned and buried his face in his hands.

He glanced at the row of old Bibles on the bookshelf. What a disgrace he was. What a disappointment. To his parents. To his priest. To his God. And to himself. Who was going to love him if even God didn't love him?

If anything, he needed to believe that his secluded life was not without effect. But he didn't even have that comfort. If his methods had worked, he wouldn't have thought of Heero that way. If his methods had worked, he wouldn't still get hot thinking about his fantasy.

He stopped the panicked quiver of his lower lip. A decade of pretense to fit a preconceived notion of what a Christian man should be. Then, a decade of loneliness to isolate himself from unwanted thoughts and desires. All an effort to be worthy of God's love. All a failure.

The hopelessness was overwhelming. The unbearable truth crushed him, made it hard to breathe.

He wanted Heero. He yearned for his touch. He longed to know what it would feel like to kiss his lips.

Everything he was raised to identify as wrong and immoral, he had become. And that wrong could never be made right.

"It's hard to admit that you have failed," he could still hear Heero say. The young man was right. He had vainly hoped that he would never find out, but... there it was.

"This is what Anthony must have felt," he whispered to himself, eyes turned upwards to the ceiling.

"Right before he decided to kill himself."

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><p><strong>I... I had to end it somewhere :S Defense rests, your honor.<strong>

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><p><strong>Beta: Zethsaire<strong>


	7. Chapter 7

**Snowdragonct: Thank you! I am really glad you enjoyed the chapter so much! I agree with what you said, about the bliblical concept of God. I don't believe in the Bible and I don't believe in the Church. I think it is arrogant and controlling of man to think he can understand God and interpret his wishes and use that to control people of faith. However I do understand that many people find comfort in religion, even if I can't understand that. I just wished they wouldn't constantly try to force "their way" onto others. Even though I went to a Catholic school, I was an atheist most of my life, as are my parents. Nowadays I wouldn't describe myself as "atheist" anymore, because I do believe in God now. But I only call it "God" because I don't have a better word for it, not because it bears resemblance to what the Bible or the church preach. And now I'm rambling! :P Anyway, thank you for your review, I hope you will enjoy this chapter. :)**

**Frayedsoul: Thank you so much for your review! I am really glad you liked the previous chapter. There is a bit of WuFei in here and Heero's friend makes a brief appearance. I hope I did well on Duo emotions, it wasn't easy.**

**Ryoko Lamperouge. I hope it was a positive "What the fuck?" :P I'm glad you liked it. I apologize for the OOC Heero, but that is how I've written him for this story. As I think I said to someone else as well, I don't believe in the term OOC in AU fics. Concerning the Nature versus Nurture debate I have a "Nurture for the WIN" button, so to speak. Nature gives us a chunk of clay, Nurture is what sculpts that clay into an individual, gives it a personality, makes it behave a certain way, think a certain way. Therefore I am a strong believer that if someone's life turns out different, they themselves are different. Based on that notion, I decided to take Heero's character into a different direction. Don't let a lot of smiles fool you though. I am always smiling, even when I am nervous, scared, or angry, I smile. It's a defense mechanism. I'm sorry that you may not like Heero like this, but I don't intend to change him, although there is more to him than meets the eye. I really thank you for reviewing again and I really hope you will eenjoy this chapter. Heero is less smiley in this one… :P**

**Mrs. Passionate: Sorry about that. Got a bad case of Cliffhangeritis. Not entirely sure if the bug has made it completely out of my system yet :P**

**Babydex: I hope you'll keep reading to find out :)**

**CircleKV12: "wow he I really old" I started laughing at that, just because I know quite a few people who would make a face at you saying that (because they are Duo's face or older). It's true though, he is kinda old, I really wanted him to be genuinely "aged". I've read a few stories where Duo/Heero was having issues because he was supposedly old and then he turned out to be in his late twenties, every time! It's like author's are afraid to make them older :P I hope you will enjoy this story and I hope you liked the update for Thousand Words from a week or two back. Sorry I'm so slow with updates, I'm just swamped :S Thank you so much for your kind review, I hope to hear from you again :)**

**Muchacha: Thanks for sharing your thoughts with me, I hope you are enjoying the story :)**

**TKM: This one is probably even more depressing :S Hope you'll enjoy it anyway though. Thank you for leaving a review :)**

**Hikaru Itsuko: I believe in God too, but I would never identify myself with any religion. My apologies for the long wait but I really hope you will like this update. Thank you for reviewing :)**

**Chibichocopaws: Haha, I was looking for something superficial for Amber to say and then I realized that the story takes place a few years in the past and I thought the upcoming premiere of the movie would be the perfect less-than-intellectual thing for her to start talking about :p Thank you for your kind review, I hope you will like this update :)**

**Angel Ran: Haha, I hope nothing was broken during your spaz-out :P I am really happy to read you are so excited about this story and that you are enjoying my other stories as well. I hope I won't let you down with my updates (sadly infrequent as they are) :)**

**Kami-da-vixen: Thank you for your kind review. Glad to read you are enjoying the story so far, I hope this update will be to your liking as well :)**

**Jeangreymullinsjr: Sadly this is "as soon as I can" :S I'm really sorry for making everyone wait so long for updates :S I am happy though that you are still enjoying the story in spite of the glacial pace :P Thank you for taking the time to leave a review :)**

**Rae: Thank you so much!**

**One-winged-shinigami: Thank you, that is very kind of you to say. I hope you will enjoy this update :)**

**Kenichi Matsuyama: Unfortunately I am too busy to update any faster than this, but trust that I am always working hard to get out these chapters and that I won't leave you guys hanging :)**

**ScarletNahla: Fear not, there is a lot more to come. I think the story is only halfway at this point.**

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><p><strong>Author's note:<strong>

**Sorry it took a little longer than expected. I said in my AN at the start of the last Thousand Words update that it would be up soon and I had expected it to be sooner than this. But life rarely gives you the freedom to live up to your promises :S**

**I hope you will enjoy this new update, but please read this before you start:**

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><p><strong>WARNING: I have been alerted to the fact that this story has gotten quite heavy in this chapter. Clearly Duo is dealing with some very upsetting issues right now and some readers may find his emotional turmoil uncomfortable to read. I don't think it is a spoiler to say that there will be no character death in this chapter in spite of what people may have thought at reading the previous cliffhanger. Even so, I feel I should warn people who might be sensitive to the issue of homosexuality in relation to religion and the feelings that someone has to deal with when they are going through that. I don't want to offend anyone, or make them feel bad.<strong>

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><p><strong>WARNING: This chapter contains mild sexual content (I guess this is more a teaser than it is a warning, but given the content of the upcoming chapter for Loneliest Road, I am not taking any chances. When live gives you lemons… you worry about deleting your stories because of inappropriate content :S :P)<strong>

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><p><strong><strong>NOTE: This chapter has not been beta'd. Also: the rest of this particular story will not be beta'd. All my other stories will still be beta'd, but my beta has decided not to continue working on this story. To compensate I will give the chapters an extra proofread and hopefully that will get rid of most of the mistakes. Just remember: I'm an imperfect person :P<strong>**

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><p><strong>Love Thy Neighbor<strong>

**Chapter Six**

His house became his prison. But the confinement and the isolation was the only thing that could offer him any semblance of comfort. It felt safe, knowing that the locked door and the blinded windows shielded him from the outside world, even though they did make the walls inch closer towards him as he cowered – yes, there was no denying it – in his chair in the darkest corner of the living room, practically every waking hour.

Throughout the past three weeks he could hear the muffled blows of hammers and sawing, as well as the occasional curse and laugh. He figured Heero's friend had come early and had been there for the past week or two and they had been working together on rebuilding the front porch as Heero had announced.

Duo may have managed to ration the contents of his fridge and freezer for so long, but he knew Heero would have gone grocery shopping by then. Amber worked fulltime at the store that Heero said he frequented as well. The odds of their paths having crossed were overwhelming.

He knows, he must know by now, Duo thought to himself. This made him feel sick.

The shame and the disappointment was unbearable. But there was nothing he could do to relieve himself of those feelings – or those other feelings that had been plaguing him, that had been the cause of all of this. Before he could brush said feelings off as pent up sexual energy needing a convenient outlet. But what had been more convenient than Amber, practically sitting in his lap, willing – eager even – yet he had still envisioned Heero, alerting him, without a question of a doubt, that there was more to his attraction than the search for sexual gratification.

He was caught between two sins. He couldn't act on his desires, the Lord forbids such fornication. He couldn't rid himself of his desires either. At that point he suspected only the most definitive of solutions could end his forbidden feelings; death. But suicide was another thing that the Bible did not allow.

At least Anthony was brave enough to pick one of two evils, as wrong as it may have been. Instead, Duo felt stuck in a twilight zone, his life was suspended in time and space as he contemplated his options without any results.

He chuckled bitterly at his own wallowing. "Jealous of a dead guy now?"

But Duo had never pitied Anthony for his decision, rather, he had pitied himself, for not being able to find a similar resolution, within the boundaries of his religion. It was the most pitiful existence in comparison to which a pitiful inexistence didn't sound so bad; Anthony's earthly troubles were over. Even if he was in Hell, it must be a relief to be done fighting himself, doubting himself and hating himself. As a small comfort, Hell offered you something else to hate, something besides yourself, an evil to redirect all your negativity to.

But although it may have been a solution for Anthony, Duo didn't feel it was the right decision for him. That was about all he knew; what weren't the right decisions. The right one he had yet to identify.

He rose to his feet and blindly located and grasped one of the old, leather bound Bibles from his collection of books and brought it back to his chair, stepping over the stacks of books that he had gathered there during the past few weeks. He sat down with the weighty book in his lap, a mere paperweight compared to the burden he had felt on his shoulders as well as his heart. He rifled through the pages, his fingers quickly found the page he was looking for, they stroked the old paper as they trailed down the sentences of Exodus 20:3-17.

He read aloud in the alien silence of the house - given the next door construction:

"Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you," He ran a shaky hand through his hair at the dishonor that he had caused his family, by falling in love with Anthony as a young boy, then, years later, divorcing the woman he had wed before God in the Lord's house. It was an uneasy feeling to acknowledge that he was not only a disappointment to an entity whose existence was doubted by many, but also to his parents, who believed so purely in the guiding hand of the Sheppard. "You shall not murder. You shall not commit adultery. You shall not steal. You shall not give false testimony against your neighbor. You shall not covet your neighbor's house. You shall not covet your neighbor's wife, or his manservant, or maidservant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor." I guess that includes his body, he thought grimly. He slammed the Bible shut as an image of Heero's body, outstretched on the ladder - muscles tense, skin golden and gleaming - came to him unwelcome and uninvited. It was an insufferable embarrassment to have those thoughts with the holy book in one's lap.

After a few deep breaths he opened the book anew and searched for another page.

Philippians 4:13

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me…" Duo stared at the words with a hollow feeling. These words were untrue, he realized. He couldn't turn off his attractions to Heero. His feelings for the young man, no matter how diligently he turned to Christ for strength and guidance, were persistant. It was a lie. God had given him an impossible task, one where His strength was of no help. If anything, the presence of God and Christ made it all the more impossible to overcome this hardship, because it was their rule that forced him to choose a path that felt unnatural, even after walking it for so long.

How many more untruths were there in the book that had shaped his entire life?

It was an unsettling question.

He flinched violently when a car horn pierced the quiet most obnoxiously. Rather than the short burst that it normally would be, the sound was continuous, someone was keeping their hand on the horn. It didn't take Duo long to realize the sound was coming from his own driveway and then there was only one logical conclusion.

WuFei.

He hadn't seen his friend since their last fight many weeks ago and didn't particularly desire meeting him at that moment, given his vulnerable, fragile state in the wake of – most likely - being outed after the most embarrassing and confrontational night of his life. But he knew that when WuFei got like this, there was no ignoring him. He would be out there honking his car's horn until the battery would die and then he would find a new way to incessantly bug him and basically pester him to come to the door. It was best to make the process swift and hopefully avoid drawing too much attention of the neighbors.

With angry footfalls he approached the front door and for the first time since he locked the door behind Amber, he unlocked it and swung it open.

He stepped out onto the front porch, barefoot, dressed in nothing more than sweats and a T-shirt. With the blinds closed the bright sun had completely taken him by surprise. He blinked and squinted his eyes, trying to adjust to the blinding light.

The first shape he recognized was that of WuFei's black van, parked on his driveway behind his sedan. As his eyes became accustomed to the light he noticed there was someone standing by the open driver's side door. His heart skipped a beat.

Heero stood by WuFei, still seated in his van, and fixed his gaze on him. He was dressed in his usual, casual attire of cut-off jeans and a simple white T-shirt. The cool breeze played with his wayward hair and he squinted his eyes as his bangs swayed back and forth, tickling his nose and brushing by his long eyelashes.

Duo was taken aback by how good it felt, in his heart, to lay eyes on the incredible looking young man again, after only having the memory of his beauty for the past few weeks. Of course right on the heels of that comfortable, enjoyable feeling was the guilt and shame at feeling that way. The best he could do was ignore the young man and focus his gaze on WuFei. The Chinese man looked properly impatient and pissed off.

"There he is," WuFei grumbled. He took his hand off the horn and moved to bring his folded up wheelchair from the passenger seat to the ground next to the driver's side.

Heero stepped back to give WuFei ample space to place and unfold his wheelchair and then maneuver himself into it, loudly slamming the car door shut. It was evident the younger man had to refrain himself from offering assistance. He correctly assumed that WuFei would not appreciate any help of that kind.

Heero must have noticed Duo was purposefully not looking at him. "I'll uh… I'll leave you two alone." He patted WuFei's shoulder as a way of saying goodbye and then tucked both hands deep into the pockets of his jeans and walked back to the old house.

From the corner of his eye Duo couldn't help but notice Heero looked like a sad puppy making its retreat after being cruelly beaten. Just what he needed, he thought, more guilt. Then suddenly his eyes were drawn to a second figure by the old house. Standing in the shade of the newly built porch was a tall, lean built man with auburn hair, stylishly brushed to one side of his face. He had his sinewy arms crossed in front of his chest and with his one visible eye he stared coldly at Duo, with the eyebrow in a frown.

"Aren't you going to invite me in?" WuFei demanded, drawing the American's attention back to him.

"I'm not really in the mood for company. You should have called, I could have saved you the gas."

"I'm not leaving Duo. We are going to talk. I'm putting my foot down." He looked down at his immobilized legs and remarked dryly: "So to speak."

Duo sighed dramatically, but resigned to his fate. He dragged his feet to the corner of the porch where a wooden board leaned against the white bannister. With a grunt he picked it up and moved it to the steps. Metal brackets securely hooked one end of the board on the porch, the other end Duo let drop down to the pavement of his driveway.

Without a word WuFei pushed his wheelchair up the makeshift ramp and impatiently waited for Duo to help him over the threshold of the front door.

Once they were inside the dark house Duo shut the door behind him, pretending not to notice that Heero's friend had been staring at him the entire time.

"I would be insulted that you didn't come by the store all this time, but apparently you haven't even left the house for the past three weeks. So I'm assuming I shouldn't take it personally." WuFei didn't beat around the bush.

"It's none of Heero's business so I don't see why he would get involved," Duo grumbled and sagged down on his couch.

"He walked up to me when I started honking. I asked about you and all he said was that he hadn't seen you leave the house for three weeks. He was concerned about you, as was I. He said that he stopped by several times but that you never answered your door."

Duo shrugged. "I didn't feel like having company." In truth he didn't feel like having Heero come in and undoubtedly confront him with what Amber must have told him by then. That was just something he wasn't ready to handle yet, if ever. He had no idea what he would say, how he could sensibly deny it or keep his calm about it. What he feared most was that he wouldn't be able to control himself if Heero came by and started saying all the things that a part of him had been yearning to hear. "But you should take it personally," He continued, "Because I'm still angry with you. You betrayed me, had me make a fool of myself."

"I realize that I hurt you. But I still think that what I did benefited you. If not emotionally, then financially. I can't keep apologizing for that, that would be insincere."

Duo snorted. "Emotional benefit? By all means, elaborate."

"Well, wasn't it a relief to you to write that book? To put all those feelings and events in black on white? I've written a thing or two, no best-seller like you, but I know that what we write has a therapeutic effect. I wasn't about to counter-effect that," WuFei explained calmly. He curiously eyed the stacks of books by the chair in the corner, a thick Bible atop one of them. "I knew that if I told you the underlying meaning, you would internalize it; you would bottle it all up and let it fester. No version of the book would have ever seen the light of day and you would have felt horrible; guilty and ashamed."

"Now I feel that way anyway! So what's the point?"

WuFei smirked. "You still have the financial benefit."

Duo sighed. "That's not what's important to me."

"I know. But the number in your bank account doesn't just represent money, in an indirect way it represents millions of people who felt for you and identified with you. Don't you agree that that is important?" WuFei spoke wisely.

"Just because so many people have shared my wrongs, doesn't make them right…" Duo replied morosely.

"Hm."

"What?" Duo snarled at the judgmental sound.

"Considering the overwhelming number of people, you could argue that these wrongs you speak of, aren't wrongs at all."

"A lot of people have killed, would you argue that killing is not wrong?" Duo shot back with a frown.

WuFei sighed. "You always have a reply at hand… What I was trying to say is that these feelings that you describe in the book, feelings for other men, aren't unnatural. Your religion condemns it for being unnatural, right? For not being the way God intended you to be? For being a freak? Don't you think that given how many homosexual and bisexual and whatever-sexual people there are, it is not unnatural? And if God didn't intend you to be this way, why did he make so many other people the same way? Wasn't it the case that he doesn't make mistakes?"

Duo opened his mouth to argue, the matter wasn't so clear cut, but WuFei silenced him with an authoritarian raise of his hand.

"I know that this is another religion based debate that I can't win because you have an endless supply of Biblical quotes to shut me up," WuFei admitted, "But you can't honestly make me believe that you, in your heart – not in your scripture-filled head – don't at least understand what I'm trying to say."

Duo didn't say anything. His friend's assessment had been correct, but he was ashamed to admit so.

"That is what I had hoped this book would achieve by being published. To give you an outlet and hopefully to give you insight in your own feelings and the ability to accept them. I didn't expect that you would always be blind to the underlying meaning of the novel," he said with a sheepish chuckle.

"This is your idea of an apology? Lecturing me about what I am or what I should be?"

WuFei shrugged. "You know me."

Duo couldn't help but smile.

"Does that mean I'm forgiven?"

Duo sighed and slowly nodded. "By default. I have too much going on to be angry with you on top of everything else."

"Oh?" The wheelchair-bound man inquired curiously.

Duo chuckled bitterly, sinking into the couch. "You're gonna love this."

WuFei waited expectantly.

"I have feelings for Heero…" He blurted, "The kind I used to have for Anthony."

It was clear WuFei was trying – with little success – to suppress a smile at the admission.

Needing someone to talk to, even though WuFei probably wasn't the best to confide in considering they never saw eye-to-eye, Duo started: "I had this date three weeks ago. A really pretty girl. She works at the Whole Foods near the bookstore. It was a horrible date," He groaned at the memory, "She was just so… young and obnoxious and we had absolutely no common interests. At the end of the evening she basically just suggested to make it a one-night-stand, to make it worth our while."

WuFei raised his eyebrows, knowing that I hadn't been intimate with anybody in several years.

"We were on this couch, fooling around, but…" He paused, embarrassed at having to confess his fantasy of that night. "I was picturing Heero. I was fantasizing that she was him. Completely unconsciously, it just… overcame me. I blinked and she was gone and he was there."

"Yeah?" The Asian man could barely manage his curiosity. "What happened?"

"It became better," Duo admitted, then he bit his lip.

"Better?" WuFei sounded positively hopeful.

"Yeah… Hotter." He buried his face in his hands and groaned into his palms.

WuFei laughed. "This is great! You are finally letting your true feelings out!"

"Great?" Duo exclaimed, looking at his friend with a frown. "I called out his name, when I was with her!"

WuFei made a face. "Oooh…"

"Indeed. So now she knows that I have these sick feelings for him… and of course, as luck would have it, Heero also shops at Whole Foods where she works, so she probably told him by now. That is why I haven't left the house. I can't face him." He shook his head fervently. "What can I possibly say to him?"

WuFei shrugged. To him the matter was simple, he didn't understand all the delicate complications. "Tell him that it was better, once you pictured him." He grinned.

Duo rolled his eyes. "I was actually hoping you could give me advice on what to tell him to convince him that I don't want that kind of 'relationship' with him."

A deep frown formed on WuFei's forehead. "But you do. And why did you say it weird like that: 'relationship'?"

"I don't want it," Duo argued adamantly, "Just because I have these ungodly feelings doesn't mean I want to act on them. And I said it 'weird like that' because it wouldn't be a real relationship. A real relationship is between a man and a woman and it is about love. These feelings I have for Heero are about sex." He knew the words were lies but he said them anyway, hoping that it would make them more real and wishing WuFei would just agree with him, so he could put the issue to rest with his friend's support.

WuFei slouched in his chair with an exaggerated sigh. "You can't seriously believe a word you are saying… You are gay, Duo! You are attracted to your male neighbor. Yes, that involves sexual feelings, but it could be a real relationship, if you give it a chance. If you are honest and open."

The American angrily shook his head and got up off the couch. "I don't need this right now. You're supposed to be my friend!"

"I am being your friend!" WuFei shouted back. "I've been your friend all these years, no matter how exhausting it is! You can't cut me out of your life for saying something that, on some level, you know to be true! Just because it's a difficult truth to deal with doesn't make it any less of a truth! And you know it, you know it," he emphasized, "otherwise we wouldn't be here right now, nearly thirty years later, having this same discussion for the umpteenth time!" He pointed an angry finger at his tall friend. "You don't like to hear it but you know you can't fault me for saying it, because deep down you know it's true! I'm saying the same things that a voice inside of you must have been saying as well and you are arguing with me as much as you are arguing with yourself. It's just comfortable for you to blame me for what the voice is saying. And it's easier to fight with me than to fight with yourself. But it's all you, you know it. You're just too damn stubborn and too damn scared to admit it!"

Duo was stunned at WuFei's outburst. Every word hit home. Their truth was undeniable. It left him overwhelmed and shaking.

"It took the chair to make me realize that the way I was living my life was wrong," WuFei continued poignantly. "What will it take to make you realize the same thing? Letting another person you have feelings for slip away?" He gestured in the direction of the old house next door. "Or won't you realize it until you are old and alone and about to die, with regret?"

He stared down at his friend. For once he didn't have a Biblical quote ready to persuade WuFei – or maybe more so himself – that the way he lived his life was justified.

"I'm not saying this because I want you to feel bad, Duo," WuFei explained as he recognized the upset expression in his friend's eyes. "I'm saying this because I want you to feel better. About yourself."

"I can't just switch off thirty-seven years of…" He paused to search for the right word.

WuFei dryly supplied: "Indoctrination?"

"Teaching," Duo corrected. He still thought too highly of his upbringing, in spite of everything, to think of it in such negative terms like indoctrination, or brainwashing – another word WuFei had often used.

"A wise man knows to let go of his teachings when they are proven wrong."

"But they haven't been proven wrong. More and more people just keep saying they are wrong because a large amount of people have interests that conflict with the teachings and rules of the Bible. That doesn't necessarily make the rules wrong," Duo argued, reverting back into his argumentative ways to protect himself.

"It also doesn't necessarily mean that the people are wrong," The Chinese man pointed out.

"No. It can be either way. Either the rules are wrong, or the people are wrong. I am inclined to believe the latter. I have to live by what I believe. Otherwise, I don't know how to live with myself."

WuFei let out a deep breath. "I don't understand how you can live with yourself like this. There is a person only a few feet away," he nodded in the direction of the old house, "who you could love and who could love you and finally make you happy, but you lock yourself up in your own house because you are afraid to be condemned by some entity. Living in fear is not a dignified way to live." He pushed his wheelchair back to the front door and opened it, preparing to leave. "Take it from a paraplegic: It's better to laugh or even cry over what has been, than to fear what might be, that is the only thing that is truly, irreversibly paralyzing." He nodded definitively, then ordered Duo to help him over the high threshold of the front door.

Duo leaned against the doorpost and watched his friend roll down the ramp and effortfully climb back into his van, pulling his chair across his lap and depositing it in the passenger seat. The black haired man raised his hand in goodbye and they shared one last meaningful look through the windshield. Then he backed out of the driveway and sped off.

WuFei's words had not offered him any relief from the confusion he felt. At times like that, he wished his parents were still around, to order him what to do, take the decision away from him. The way they had ordered him to stay away from Anthony and live his life by the rules of the Lord. It wasn't until he took matters in his own hands again, that things went awry and Anthony ended up so desperate that it drove him to the unforgivable sin of suicide. He feared to make another mistake. He had no idea how interacting with Heero would affect either of them, but he had been raised to expect the worst. And if he ended up defying his Lord, the worst was exactly what he deserved.

At the feel of piercing eyes fixed on him he cast a brief glance to the front porch of the neighboring house, paying little attention to the craftsmanship of the construction, but rather to the craftsmen. Heero was sitting on the banister, with his back turned towards him. But his tall friend was looking right at him again, unashamedly. His stare was unnerving. Duo retreated back into his house.

His feet automatically took him back to the chair in the corner, surrounded by stacks of books. With empty eyes he stared at the Bible atop one of the stacks. The book that once provided him with comfort and certainty, now caused him despair. Things used to be clear to him, black and white – and he was fine with both the black and the white, he accepted it – only when he started to develop sinful feelings for Anthony was he introduced to shades of grey. That is when the confusion first began, a mere seed, the growth of which had been stifled by his parents' direct and relentless intervention. The world had returned to black and white, it wasn't as easy anymore, but at least it wasn't confusing. Now, there was Heero. The seed of confusion was now a tree with many branches. A tree not easy to uproot. Heero didn't just introduce him to shades of grey, inadvertently he had made him become aware of a full spectrum of color, vibrant and blinding, making it difficult to see the black and the white amidst the beautiful chaos and choose either one of them, when the colors were much more alluring.

Feelings of a strictly sexual nature weren't that powerful, he knew – proving WuFei right. He found it difficult to identify with the term gay, if only because he had rejected it for so long. But right or wrong – probably wrong – there was a depth to his attraction that reached beyond purely physical desire.

That epiphany didn't really change his dilemma, though. If anything, he felt more ashamed and more torn.

It was dark when a knock on the front door awakened him with a start. He hadn't even realized he had fallen asleep, nor did he remember reading any of the content of the fictional book that he found in his lap. With a tired groan he got up out of the seat and approached the front door. He stood in the hallway, realizing he was too fearful to answer the knock.

"Duo, will you please open up?" Heero's voice came through the door, sounding concerned.

Obviously the younger man knew he was home and he wasn't interested in increasing the unbearable guilt he felt by simply waiting for the young man to leave. He took a deep breath, steeled his nerves and then moved to unlock the door.

Heero looked relieved to see him, a small smile appeared on his striking face. "Hey," He greeted sheepishly.

"Hey."

"Thank you for opening the door."

Duo shrugged.

"Uhm… My friend is here. I mentioned him when we had dinner a couple of weeks ago and you said that you would like to meet him…" He started hesitantly. "I was wondering if you might like to join us for dinner. I mean, it's just take-out, but-" He didn't know how to finish his sentence, so he didn't. Rather nervously he tucked his hands into the front pockets of his black jeans.

Duo tore his eyes away from where the black, coarse denim drew taut. "I'm not really in the mood."

"Okay." He did little to hide his disappointment. He stepped back, about to leave, but then, with a frown, he turned back to Duo and wondered: "Have I done something wrong? Have I done something to upset you?"

"Why would you ask that?" Duo's heart clenched as he spiraled down another guilt trip at looking at Heero's hurtful eyes.

"It's just- I haven't seen you since we had dinner. I was just worried if I violated our friendship in some way, or something."

Duo shook his head. "No. No. It has nothing to do with our dinner." Rather the other dinner the day after.

"It?" Heero wondered. "So there is something wrong? Is it something I can help with?"

Duo narrowed his eyes at his neighbor. "Oh, like you really don't know why I don't want to see you!" He spat.

Heero was taken aback by his vicious tone. "What am I supposed to know?" He asked, looking genuinely confused. "Wait, you don't want to see me? So it is something I did?"

"You didn't do anything. It's all on me. But I'd prefer not to see you anymore." Duo looked away. It physically hurt to say those words. Shit, he thought.

"I wish you would just tell me what is going on. I thought we were friends."

"Would you please just leave already?!" He snarled, desperate to get the attractive young man out of his sight and out of his personal space.

At his raised voice, someone called out: "Is everything okay?"

Duo turned his head and spotted Heero's tall friend on the steps of the front porch of the old house. "Enjoy your take-out dinner," Duo said to Heero and then he closed the door, making a point to lock it again. After a few heartbeats he heard Heero's footfalls retreat off his porch.

This wasn't new to him. He had purposefully alienated friends before to shield him from inappropriate feelings. Yet, it had never quite stung like that. It wasn't fair to Heero either. He lost his only friend and ally in a hateful community, even though he did nothing wrong to deserve to be left alone and defenseless like that.

"Fuck," Duo cursed softly, only mildly shocked at his own profanity. He didn't enjoy feeling like this, which was exactly why he had fought to keep people at arms' length for as long as he could remember.

He thought about Heero's reaction. It confused him that the young man seemed genuinely unaware of what had happened between Amber and him. Did Amber really not tell him? She didn't strike Duo as a forgiveness-minded kind of person, he had been certain that since he had embarrassed her, she had no qualms about embarrassing him. It seemed he had underestimated her, unrightfully judged her. Another reason to feel bad about himself.

Since he had been low on food anyway for the past few days, he hoisted himself into a pair of jeans and a clean shirt and decided to head out. The least he could do was thank her for not telling on him, especially after how he must have made her feel. Perhaps, given her surprisingly mature demeanor, he could explain himself to her and prevent her from ever sharing his secret with anyone, if he could make her understand.

On his way to his car he threw a quick glance at the old house. The lights were on but he didn't see Heero, nor his stoic friend. He shook his head. He shouldn't keep looking for Heero like that, unconscious or not. He may have had no control over his feelings, but he could still control his actions and at this point exercising that control was all he could do to keep himself out of trouble, if he hadn't already crossed a line into wrong from which there was no return after admitting to himself that there was more to his attraction to Heero than merely sexual desires.

When he pulled into the parking lot of the grocery store he saw Amber outside by the door, leaning back against the brick wall, a lit cigarette between her fingers. A young, overweight man stood by her in a similar uniform, also having a smoke.

With increasing nerves he parked his car and approached her. "Amber?" He called tentatively as he was only a few feet away from the couple.

Amber threw him a foul look. "What are you doing here? I was just about to consider myself lucky because it seemed you had decided to stop shopping here."

The guy alternated his confused gaze between Duo and Amber.

"I wanted to talk to you. In private, if you wouldn't mind." He pointedly looked at the large man.

With a shrug of his big shoulders he dropped the cigarette to the pavement, stepped on it – wiggling his foot back and forth a couple of times – and then walked back into the store after a halfhearted wave to Amber.

Still afraid to face Amber, he lengthily watched the young man go as he dragged his feet through the main aisle of the store, until he was finally out of sight.

"Yeah, take a good look. You might want to fantasize about him later," Amber sneered, then brought the cigarette to her grinning lips.

"I wanted to apologize for what happened on our date. That must have hurt your feelings and I am very sorry about that," Duo started.

The young woman snorted loudly. "You didn't come here to apologize!" She let out a bitter cackle. "You finally dragged your ass over here to ask me to not tell people about your disgusting little secret."

Duo winced at her harsh words. They especially hit home because he had been saying them to himself his entire life; disgusting little secret. Only not so little. When her remark fully registered, he frowned. "Actually, I did want to apologize, but I mostly came here to thank you for not saying anything about what happened."

"Well, if that is what you came for, you can hop right back into that late-model, geriatric music, snooze-mobile of yours. I can't believe I had this major crush on you all this time. You are just an old pervert."

He sighed. He had been so concerned about himself the past three weeks, he hadn't cared much for how he must have hurt her feelings. "Well… Thank you for not telling, anyway. And I really am sorry."

"Not telling? Hell yeah I told my girlfriends about this."

"Okay. I understand that. But thank you for not telling Heero."

"Oh, I plan on telling him as soon as I see him. You can count on that. He needs to know that you have this sick obsession with him."

"Please don't tell him. Please, I'm sorry for hurting you, but you must understand how difficult this is for me."

She snorted again. "If Heero comes back to the store, I'm telling him," she repeated childishly.

"If?"

"Yeah, well, your little walking wet dream hasn't been to the store yet since our date. So maybe he switched. But if I ever run into him, I'm going to tell him. He deserves to know that his neighbor has these… feelings for him." She made a face, disgusted at the thought.

"Right." He slowly nodded and turned away. In a way she might have been right. Heero did deserve to know. At least then he wouldn't have to take it personally that Duo planned to shut him out, at least then he would understand that it was Duo's problem and not his.

"Hey but Duo!" Amber called after him.

He turned back to face her, ready for another insult, aware he deserved it.

"I don't really mind gay guys," She explained, her tone more calm, "but I do mind it when they abuse the feelings of a girl that has a crush on them."

"I'm sorry." It was all he could say, but he meant it then more than ever.

She pushed her cigarette out against the brick wall and then headed back into the store.

Duo watched her leave, absorbing the new feelings in the already confusing myriad of emotions. With a sigh he turned on his heels and got back into his car and drove straight home.

Deciding that Amber was right and that he should just get it over with, he walked over to the front door of the old house. On the front porch he took a moment to admire the work of the sturdy flooring and the sculpted woodwork of the bannisters and supports. He took a final, deep breath and then curtly knocked on the door, before he could change his mind. His breath hitched at even the sight of Heero's distorted image through the frosted glass of the front door. He was flooded with doubt but he knew he had to push through it. He had to be the good man, the man Heero already had to remind him to be once before. It wouldn't be right to let Heero feel bad and guilty, as none of this was his fault, clearly he couldn't help being irresistible.

As he opened the door, Heero looked appropriately surprised to see Duo on his front porch, after being so rudely told to go away earlier that evening. "Duo. Hi," He breathed.

"Hi," He replied meekly.

A deep voice interrupted their awkward exchange of greetings. Heavy footfalls echoed through the empty hall as Heero's friend approached them. He had his gaze down, looking at the label of a bottle of red wine. "Heero, would you mind if I open this one anyway?-" He halted when he finally looked up and saw the tall American in the doorway. There was a perceptible change his voice, it became monotone and almost menacing as he acknowledged Duo's presence. "You're the neighbor," He stated. "Hello." He didn't move to shake hands and didn't even feign a smile.

"Hello." Duo studied the tall man. From his stylish bangs to the forest green button-up that matched his eyes, to the dark jeans that fit his muscled legs snugly. "I'm Duo." He stepped forward and extended out his hand.

The man turned his intensely colored green eye to Heero and announced dryly: "I'll be in the kitchen. I'm opening this," he held up the bottle. He promptly turned around and walked back to where he came from.

"That's Trowa," Heero said sheepishly. "He's… quite the conversationalist."

"I'm sure his cold shoulder has more to do with me than with him. I didn't exactly make a good first impression on him today, when I yelled at you. Which-… Which is why I came over here. I have to explain something to you."

"Okay." Heero waited expectantly with raised eyebrows.

Duo bit his lip and looked down the hall, where the kitchen door was wide open and he could see one of Trowa's boots propped up on one of the kitchen chairs. "In private?"

Heero looked over his shoulder and followed Duo's gaze down the hall. He shrugged his shoulders. "On the front porch?"

"I- I don't want the neighbors to be spying on us. You know how they get."

Heero sighed. "Fine." He gestured for Duo to come inside. He closed the front door behind him then opened a door to the left. "We can talk in here."

Duo walked past him through the doorway. The room was meant to be a formal sitting room, very spacious with an impressive carved wood fireplace. At the moment it clearly served as Heero's bedroom. There was a modest, uncomfortable looking cot in the corner with messy sheets, against the back wall was a foldable table with stacks of clothes and toiletries and across the room was an extra mattress with a pile of sheets, where the warm and fuzzy guest slept.

"At the moment this is pretty much the only inhabitable place in the house, besides the kitchen," Heero explained. He closed the door and then walked across the room to rearrange the sheets on the bed.

"That's really not necessary. You don't have to be embarrassed about an unmade bed."

"Okay," Heero unceremoniously dropped the pillow that he had been fluffing back down on the bed. He looked extremely uncomfortable.

"First of all, I wanted to apologize for raising my voice at you and for brushing you off the way I did. I was wrong to treat you that way. I was upset about something and… I was just in a foul mood. You didn't deserve it."

"You're apologizing for your tone, not your words," Heero correctly observed. "You still stand by what you said? That you don't want to see me anymore?"

"That is what I wanted to explain to you."

Heero frowned. "You are now going to explain to me why you don't want me to be your friend anymore? Do you really think that is something I am going to enjoy hearing?"

"Maybe," Duo said with a shrug. "Because it's because of me, not because of you."

Heero chuckled bitterly. "Can't say I have ever gotten the "it's not you, it's me"-speech from a friend before. Look Duo, if you are going to be chivalrous about it, at least be honest with me. If you can't be friends with me anymore because I'm gay and you are a religious nut, just say so. It'll hardly hurt my feelings, I've heard far worse variations of it." Judging by Heero's flat tone it didn't seem like it would only hardly hurt him.

"Religious nut?" Duo wondered comically, hoping to relieve the tension.

"Well…"

"I guess to most outsiders I am a religious nut. But religion has given me a lot, a lot of comfort and support during certain times in my life, so… it's important to me."

Heero deflated. "I know. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to insult you. It just… popped out."

"It's okay," The American assured him with a genuine smile.

"So… You wanted to explain something?" Heero asked after a few seconds of silence, eager to speed up the awkward process.

"Something happened between Amber and I, on our date," Duo started.

Heero looked off to the side, his eyes distant.

"I- I had assumed she would have told you by you now, since you go to the same grocery store, but apparently you haven't been there in the past three weeks, so she didn't even get to tell you…"

Heero nodded slowly. His expression seemed to imply that he expected the conversation to have a completely different outcome than it would. To hurry it up he even interjected: "So because you are spending so much time with Amber now you don't have time to be my friend anymore?"

Duo frowned. "That's not at all what I am trying to say… What I'm trying to say is- What happened that night is-" He had paddled too far down the river to go back now, the pull of the water dragged him towards the waterfall, but he was afraid to fall.

Heero arched an eyebrow in curiosity.

"During my date with Amber, I started thinking about you," Duo finally admitted with a knot in his stomach.

"Well, I guess that's only natural. We had dinner the night before, maybe the same topics came up?"

Duo chuckled breathlessly at Heero's innocent interpretation. "No, I mean… I started thinking about you during the more intimate part of the date."

Heero blinked, there was a fair amount of confusion evident on his features. Either Duo was still too delicate in his phrasing or Heero simply couldn't believe what he was trying to tell him.

With his heart beating in his throat, even his fingertips throbbing in rhythm with the powerful, nervous beat, Duo confessed: "When Amber was kissing me and touching me, I imagined she was you."

A red hue tinted Heero's cheeks, nothing compared to the red, hot mess that Duo suspected his own face to be.

"Look, you read my book. You know that when I started thinking of Anthony in that way, it dragged me down a path I never wish to walk again. I only know of one way to stay on the straight and narrow and that is to cut that… gravitational force out of my life, so I don't stray from the way I want to be and the way God and Jesus Christ want me to be."

The younger man was speechless. He opened his mouth, to say something, but after several heartbeats of silence he closed his lips again. His eyes were slightly widened, his gaze unfocused and erratic, looking anywhere but directly at Duo, as if he was afraid to.

"I know that's not fair to you," Duo continued, "but I can't be near you when I am feeling these things. It's going to be difficult enough with you as my neighbor, for as long as you'll be here. I've noticed that in the past couple of weeks my eyes keep searching the windows facing this house, secretly hoping that I will catch a glimpse of you… I've been having dreams about you… And now this, with Amber, imagining that I am kissing you…"

Finally Heero's intense eyes settled on him. His expression was open and vulnerable, it made Duo's heart throb but at the same time it affirmed his decision. He couldn't be around the young, attractive man, his body and his mind reacted in all the wrong ways. It was by no means a definitive solution to his problem, but it was the only one he could think of that didn't involve another unforgivable sin.

It didn't seem like the younger man was going to say anything, he was too shocked. Duo apologized one final time and then excused himself. He exited the house, noticing Trowa had been standing in the doorway of the kitchen, he had obviously tried to eavesdrop but Duo trusted that the walls of the old house were thick enough to preserve the privacy of the conversation. With his heart still beating a mile a minute he hurried home. He couldn't believe how forthcoming he had been. He hadn't intended to be so candid. But he supposed he could chalk it up to a long list of unwelcome effects Heero had on him.

He just hoped he had done the right thing by telling Heero. He didn't want the young man to be confused and think that it was his fault the friendship couldn't work, but if anything, Heero looked even more conflicted once Duo had explained the situation. There was no turning back time though, Duo had to accept and live with the decision he had made.

"It's for the better," He told himself, his voice didn't sound as convinced as he had hoped it would. At least now Heero knew it was not his fault, so he didn't get his feelings hurt and hopefully, now that he has been informed of Duo's reasons, he will respect his decision.

Ready to bring an end to the day Duo dragged himself upstairs. He stripped out of his jeans and crawled into bed in his boxers and the shirt he had been wearing. The bed felt comfortable and he groaned as his body was cushioned by it. He didn't even bother covering himself up with his sheets, it was only spring, but the nights were getting warmer. The breeze through the open window, along his bare legs, was a welcome relief. He closed his eyes hoping sleep would soon take him, but as tired as he was and as comfortable as the bed was, he couldn't find rest. The day's events ghosted through his head.

He opened his eyes when he heard the first of raindrops hit the windows of his bedroom. Knowing that a light drizzle could quickly evolve into quite the rainstorm he raised himself up off the bed and walked over to the open window, pulling it shut. As expected the downpour of rain intensified. Sheets of water clattered down the sides of the house and churned through the gutters lining the wrap-around porch before pouring off the corners in a steady stream.

The air in the bedroom soon warmed up without the cool air coming through the window. Knowing that that night would be a sleepless night anyway, he headed back downstairs, glancing at his alarm clock along the way, that read two thirty AM.

The wrap-around porch shaded the entire first floor of the house, keeping the sun off the windows. It was significantly cooler downstairs, the hardwood floors even felt cold to his bare feet. He padded over to the kitchen and got a bottle of water from the fridge. He stepped out onto the porch through the kitchen door, catching the screen door before it could slam shut in its usual loud manner. He studied the puddles forming and growing on the lawn and the branches of the trees sagging as the leaves got heavy with water.

With a sigh he lowered himself on the wooden bench that stood against the wall of the house. Sometimes nasty winds accompanying the rainstorms had the habit of whipping the rain under the porch, reaching surprisingly far, but luckily that wasn't the case that night. The comfortable breeze had died down, so the rain fell straight down, keeping the porch and the bench dry, although the air did feel cold on his exposed thighs. Reaching out he pulled the table closer to prop his feet up on it. He closed his eyes to rest them, the bottle of water cradled in his lap. The sound of the water was thundering on the roof of the porch, but soothing nonetheless. It drowned out all other sounds, even thoughts.

"Couldn't sleep?" A voice called through the rain.

Completely caught off guard Duo jumped at the sudden presence of his neighbor. The bottle of water dropped to the floor, luckily he had screwed the cap back on or else the wooden flooring would have become a slippery risk to his health. He squinted his eyes and tried to find the source of the voice through the rain. He spotted Heero on the back porch of the old house, leaning casually against the corner post with his right shoulder as he looked out over his sprawling yard. His slim figure nearly disappeared behind the thick support post. He had craned his neck to look around it.

Very self-conscious in his boxer shorts Duo wondered: "How long have you been standing there?"

Heero moved from behind the post and leaned his left shoulder against it, so he was facing Duo's yard. His eyes unconsciously darted down to his wrist but he smiled sheepishly as he realized he wasn't wearing a watch. Clearly he was in his sleep attire; black sweatpants that hung low off his hips and a moss green tank top that left his arms and most of his chest exposed. "I don't know… Maybe half an hour."

Duo had only been outside for about five minutes. He hadn't even noticed his neighbor in the dark and through the rain.

"I wasn't spying on you. I didn't even know you were out here until I heard you pull the table towards you," Heero felt the need to clarify.

Duo nodded. "So you can't sleep either?"

Heero let out a bitter, breathless chuckle. "It's kind of difficult to find sleep when your friend has just told you he has feelings for you and doesn't want to see you anymore for that reason."

"I was having a sleepless night because of that myself…" Duo admitted.

Heero nodded. After a few minutes without either of them saying anything, Heero started: "Could you at least explain it to me? These feelings I mean?"

Duo felt his face go hot and red.

"You said that when you were kissing Amber, you pictured it was me, so it's just some kind physical attraction, right?" He sighed. "But then- but then you describe it as having feelings for me. To me, to say you 'have feelings' for someone means more than simple physical attraction. So I guess I don't really understand what is going on and what exactly you are feeling."

Duo buried his face in his hands and groaned. "I don't really know either. I don't know what to call it."

"But you know what you are feeling," Heero pressed on.

"I feel… I feel drawn to you. Like I said before, it's like a gravitational force, pulling everything about me towards you. I'm always looking for you and when I find you, I find it hard to look away. My ears perk at every sound, listening for your voice." He let out a deep breath. "I don't know what to call that, but I do know it's wrong for me to feel that way. It's definitely beyond the boundaries of normal, friendly feelings."

Heero was silent for a long time as he must have been processing the information. Then he started tentatively: "Maybe…"

Duo looked up with raised eyebrows. His heart was beating wildly. Was Heero about to suggest that he should act on his feelings?

"Maybe you shouldn't give up on this friendship because you have indiscriminate feelings for me. I mean, you still like me as a friend too, right?"

"Sure, of course, but…"

"These additional feelings don't have to define our relationship. We can still stay friends."

Duo shook his head. That was not the direction he expected and he fought hard to deny that he was disappointed. "I don't think I can ignore these feelings, with you close to me."

"Maybe you can. I know I can," Heero stated flatly.

The American blinked. Unwittingly he got up on his feet and approached the bannister. "What do you mean?"

"Duo, I'm a gay man in a predominantly straight world. I've had to deal with developing unrequited feelings for friends before." Heero said and then he averted his eyes. In a more quiet tone he continued: "It just happens, I have no control over it. But I can decide not to act on it. The way I decided not to do anything with my feelings for you, because I promised you I wouldn't make a move. You can decide the same thing."

The older man's heart skipped a beat. He found it difficult to process what he was hearing. With a hushed tone he inquired, his fingers gripping the bannister with white knuckles. "You have feelings for me?"

Heero snorted, embarrassed. "Yes. To be honest, I thought you knew and I thought that was why you acted so angrily earlier this evening. Technically yesterday evening. I can't really quantify it, or categorize it, much like you, but when you told me you were going on a date with Amber, I knew there was… something." He chuckled sheepishly. "Because I got jealous. I was jealous because she had dinner with you and got to call it a date and I had dinner with you but it was only…. Dinner. I realized then that I had wanted our dinner to be a date."

"Oh," He really didn't have anything intellectual to say at that point. He was overwhelmed, shocked, dumbfounded, flabbergasted. He didn't know what to feel beyond that. He acknowledged that a shameful part of him was happy to learn that Heero had feelings for him. But another part of him recognized that that would only make matters more complicated than they already were, as well as more dangerous.

"That is why I stopped shopping at the Whole Foods market where she works. I thought your date had gone great and I didn't want to have to hear all about it from Amber at the checkout counter." Heero looked at him with scrutinizing eyes, gauging his reaction. "The point is, I was feelings these things, but I didn't act on them. I would never have told you. I would never have tried to kiss you, or anything else. I wasn't going to let it jeopardize our friendship. So just because there is this 'thing' between us, doesn't mean that we can't be friends." He took a deep breath and added earnestly: "I really like having you as a friend."

Duo shook his head. He couldn't really wrap his mind around it. "It's one thing for one person to tuck away his feelings to benefit a friendship. But I don't think a friendship can work when both parties are dealing with… stuff. To be honest I'd be worried that at that some point you might expect something of me; more of me. I couldn't do that. Even if I would want to, I just couldn't."

Heero cocked his head and shot back: "Is that really what you would be worried about? Or would you be worried that you can't control yourself when you are near me?"

"It doesn't matter. Either way, we can't be friends," Duo said definitively.

"Fine," Heero concurred monotonously. "Goodnight, neighbor." He turned around and walked away, going back into the dark house.

Interesting how a biting tone can turn even the most neutral of nouns, like 'neighbor', into a hurtful insult.

Duo picked his bottle off the floor and sat back down on the bench. No sense in going back to bed after a conversation like that, there was no way he could sleep in his current state of mind.

When the rain had cooled everything down he headed back inside. There was already a hint of dawn at the horizon. He decided to clean up the mess of books he had created while hiding out. He couldn't very well continue that pattern. He had to try to make something akin to a life again, even though he felt devastated and felt like he needed time to grieve. He couldn't give himself that time, he couldn't allow himself to grieve. Nothing had died, nothing had left, because there was never even anything there to begin with.

He gathered a number of selected books into his arms and carried those to his small study. He still hadn't determined what his next book would be about, if he could ever write one again, but he figured some of his favorite and most used religiously themed books – textbooks, autobiographies and even novels – might be able to point him in a certain direction. After suffering the embarrassment of learning the true meaning of his bestseller debut, he did like the idea of writing the second book the way the first had been intended, with a positive perspective on his religion. He just had to be careful it didn't end up being the same fiasco again, now that he was aware that his suppressed desires could still influence him.

As he arranged the books on his desk, clearing away some of the clutter, his eyes were drawn to movement outside the window. He felt his heart skip a beat when his gaze landed on Heero. He was still wearing his black sweats and the green tank top. Duo noticed the sun had fully risen and briefly wondered what time it was, but he was distracted by the way Heero's skin glowed in the light and the way the newly awakened breeze played his hair.

How long had it taken him to realize the young Asian man had been following his tall friend –Trowa – to his car; a rental sedan? Trowa, also dressed the same as the day before, had a duffel bag slung over his shoulder. It appeared his visit was coming to an end. He threw the bag on the backseat and slammed the door shut.

Duo couldn't hear what they were saying, but Trowa pointedly looked at the Stop-Prop-Eight sign in the front lawn and made a remark. The slight smile on his lips was new.

In response Heero shrugged and made a vague gesture that Duo couldn't make much sense of. He couldn't see Heero's face, since the younger man had his back turned towards him.

Trowa's smile widened and then he moved to close the distance between them. Just two steps of his long legs. He wrapped his strong arms around the significantly shorter young man.

Duo frowned when he noticed one of Trowa's hands was a little more south on Heero's back than seemed normal for a completely platonic hug. His palm was on the small of his back, the tips of his long fingers over his behind and when the embrace ended and they parted, he let his hands trail even lower, briefly brushing over Heero's buttocks. Duo looked away. He was jealous. He shouldn't be, it was ridiculous, it was wrong. His fingers were gripping the book he was holding so tightly it hurt. He looked down at the predominantly black cover of the book in his hands.

The title itself was like a message from God.

HEAVEN IS REAL, BUT SO IS HELL.

A reminder? A warning? A threat?

He jumped at the sound of a car door slamming shut again. He watched as Heero saw off his friend, standing on the front lawn in his untied work boots, with his arms wrapped around himself as it must have been quite chilly in the early morning with as few clothes on as he had, following the rains of that night.

Duo was in for another startle as Heero suddenly turned and his eyes found him through the window pane. He looked at him briefly. Duo stood frozen. Then Heero started walking, not towards the old house, but towards Duo's house.

The older man swallowed, trying to get rid of the lump in his throat, but to no avail. As Heero walked up to his front door, so did he. He was there before the younger man but still he waited for his doorbell to ring, until which time he prayed Heero had had a change of heart and would go back to his own house. A shudder went through him when the bell chimed.

Upon opening the door he noticed Heero's stern, determined expression. Not knowing what would happen, a knot formed in his stomach.

Realizing he would not be politely invited to come inside, Heero announced: "I have a point to make and considering how concerned you are about what other people think of you, I don't think you want me to make my point on the front porch. I noticed Relena was already peeking through the curtains."

Duo redirected his gaze past Heero and noticed one curtain was pulled back slightly, a clear indicator that his nosy neighbor was spying for gossip fodder. The loud manner of Trowa's departure must have drawn her attention. "All right," Duo consented and he stepped aside to allow Heero to walk through the door he help open for him. He left the door ajar, just because he wasn't sure what kind of ideas Relena would get from watching Heero go into his house barely dressed and Duo shutting the door behind him. If his neighbors would just mind their own business, Duo wouldn't have to be so paranoid. It was endlessly frustrating.

"You had something to say?" Duo inquired as Heero quietly idled in his hallway.

"Yes." He reached up his hand to push up the strap of his tank top that had slid off his shoulder.

Duo blinked and slightly shook his head as he caught himself being distracted by that simple maneuver.

"I wanted to tell you that you are right," Heero continued. "It is stupid for two people who have feelings for each other to try to be friends."

Duo nodded, relieved that the attractive man agreed and understood, yet, a small part of him acknowledged a distant, dull throb of disappointment and sadness.

"When two people have feelings for each other, they should try to be lovers," Heero finished.

Duo looked at him with wide eyes. His heart jumped when the younger man took a step towards him. "You promised me that you wouldn't make a move on me," He reminded his neighbor breathlessly.

"I made that promise to you as your friend and, at your own request, I'm not your friend anymore. So I have no obligation to not do this," With one, strong push of his arms he threw Duo back against the door, which slammed shut behind him.

Duo didn't have any time to think, nor to escape, or so he would convince himself of as he stood frozen and Heero closed the distance between them. Heero's right hand slid around his neck, his left hand was splayed against his chest, he leaned in his body until it was flush against Duo's and then pushed himself up on his toes to connect their lips.

Mouth open with shock, Heero was met with little resistance. He moved his lips against Duo's sensually, coaxing him to return the kiss, but Duo was too afraid to move. At the lack of response Heero may have been frustrated but the younger man wasn't done blowing Duo's mind yet. He determinedly pushed his tongue forward, into Duo's mouth, to find and tease his, passionately deepening the kiss.

The American was powerless to turn away from the temptation. His entire body shivered at the intensity of the kiss and his own struggle to keep his cool. He kept his hands pressed against the door, he could feel his fingers twitching with the suppressed urge to bring his hands up to cup Heero's face, or run his fingers through his hair, or to encircle his narrow waist with his arms and press his body against his even more tightly.

Heero's left hand, on Duo's chest, was rubbing up and down slightly, making Duo's entire body feel unbearably hot, yet had his skin covered with goosebumps as shudders ran through him.

He couldn't help but to start kissing back, it was the only relief for the building tension in his body.

That is when Heero let out the softest moan.

The sound awakened a primordial desire in Duo. He took charge of the kiss, moving the battle of their tongues to Heero's mouth as he asserted his dominance. Heero kissed back fervently, the corners of his mouth turning into a small smile at Duo's sudden enthusiasm and involvement.

Still, Duo kept his hands where they were, against the door, even as his palms started to get slick with sweat and his fingers started to itch to touch the younger man. In his mind, his hands were all over his shorter neighbor, gripping his hips, sliding down to grasp his behind, then moving up his back, feeling the tightness of his body through the thinness of his tank top.

His hand moved as he lost control over himself, but he realized the mistake he was about to make and slammed it back against the door.

The sound interrupted the quiet symphony of pants and muffled moans and caused Heero to end the kiss. He took a step back, his hands sliding away from Duo's body. There was a flash of fear in his eyes that he blinked away.

Duo was mesmerized by the sight of the Asian looker; the golden skin of his face was flushed at his cheekbones, his eyes were hooded and passionate, his lips – parted in silent pants - appeared red, wet and swollen from the amazing kiss. Before he spoke he licked his lips, Duo felt faint as he watched the pink tongue dart out and run along his upper lip. "It's up to you to decide what you want," Heero said in a hushed voice and breathlessly he admitted: "I would understand if you can't, and then I won't bother you again. But… if you want it, then I want it."

Duo released a deep breath.

"Well, you know where to find me." Heero waited for Duo to move away from the door.

Mute with shock, at what Heero was saying as well as at what his heart was saying, he wordlessly stepped aside.

Heero gripped the doorknob and twisted it, pulling the door open just far enough for his slim body to slip outside. His work boots made heavy footfalls on the porch as he walked away, but the thunderous beat of Duo's heart drowned out the sound.

"Oh God, I'm sorry…"

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><p><strong>So, was this chapter a blessing or a curse?<strong>

**Haha, I'm so lame... Why am I laughing? It's not funny -.-**


	8. Chapter 8

**Mrs. Passionate: I hope that if there had been words, they would have been positive :P I am so sorry you had to wait so long to see how the story continues. I really hope you will enjoy this chapter. Thank you very much for reviewing again :)**

**CircleKV12: I am very grateful you decided to give this story a try and flattered that you enjoy my other works so much that you decided to give this one a chance. I hope you will enjoy it as the story progresses. Don't worry about the age remark, I was just joking. I'd consider a 37-year-old 'old' too. It's just so funny to see the indignant faces of some of my older friends and acquaintances when I tell them they are 'old' :P Thank you very much for reviewing again and I hope you'll forgive me for taking so long to update :S**

**Jeangreymullinsjr: Thank you so very much for leaving another review! I am really flattered you like this story the best, also a little surprised, most people seem to be preferring Brothers and Thousand Words. So it's good that this story doesn't need to feel left out :P I've certainly given you enough opportunities to recover from the tired eyes and dark circles (sorry about that and the long wait :S), I hope you will enjoy this update :)**

**The Yaoi Pimpette: Sorry I kept you hanging for so long, but I really appreciate you reading and reviewing this story! I hope you will enjoy this update :)**

**Frayedsoul: Well, I had to get things moving somehow :P I justify it by arguing that Duo tries to be the exemplar Christian, which included lying, combined with the naivety that he would expect Heero to respect his ridiculous choice and help him achieve his goal :P "Deny, deny, deny" would have made more sense probably, but people, including myself, were getting antsy to see things develop. I feel really sorry and embarrassed about keeping you waiting for so long. Please forgive me? I hope you will like this new chapter :)**

**Chibichocopaws: Thank you so much for once again leaving such a kind, encouraging and engaged review! I'm always happy and grateful to read your thoughts on a chapter. I am well aware that my amateur writing cannot do justice to the delicate issue of homosexuality and religion, but I wanted to give it a try. It is a very prominent issue and I feel it is only right to have it be part of the YAOI section of GW fanfiction, since it is something many people are dealing with. Thank you again for your review and I hope you know I feel truly sorry for keeping you waiting so long.**

**Loveless8: Thank you so much! That is so kind. I hope you will get sucked into this chapter as well :)**

**Damgiel: Thank you for reading and reviewing my sorry. I am very glad you have accepted your sexuality, even though your family sadly cannot, yet. I hope sincerely you will one day be able to tell them and they can accept you. **

**Shingamia: Thank you for your enthusiastic review! I am very happy to read you are enjoying the story. I am so sorry to have kept you biting your nails for long, I hope you are still interested in the story and will continue to read it. **

**Caitlynn552: You can trust that however long it might take for me to update, I will never abandon my stories. It is not a matter of lacking inspiration, or not knowing where the story is going, sadly I just don't have the time to write as often as I want. I hope you will read and enjoy this very long awaited update.**

**Something like human: I aim to tease :P**

**Seph Lorraine: Wow, in one sitting, that's a whole lotta being up in Duo's twisted head :P Oh, the compliments are too much. Thank you very much for saying that, that is very kind. I do oftentimes catch myself going into too much detail, just because certain "scenes" are just very crisp in my head, but I try to reel myself in when that happens :P I'm very relieved you don't mind their OOC-ness. Thank you very much for reading and reviewing and please accept my apology for taking so epically long to update :S **

**cheZaswulf: Yikes, I hope you don't mean the chapter was 'horrible' :S I hope you are still reading this in spite of it not having been updated for so long. **

**Angel Ran: Thank you so much for your kind review! I'm glad you thought the kiss was steamy, I was trying to convey that it was just too good for Duo not to want more of it. Oops, I suppose that a spoiler for this chapter, although, I guess you were kind of expecting that :P**

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><p><strong>Author's note:<strong>

**I am not dead! I've been very busy and dealing with personal things at the moment. I couldn't find the time nor the energy to write, let alone write the kind of material that I felt would be good enough to post. I apologize sincerely for keeping you waiting. If you've clicked on this chapter, I want to thank you, truly, for still reading my story, in spite of the fact that I update at an embarrassing, glacial pace. I don't want to let you down, or disrespect you by making it seem like I've dropped my stories and left you hanging. I promise that no matter how long it might take me, I will never drop any of my stories. **

**I won't keep you for much longer (in fact, I doubt many people will be reading this :P), but thank you for your patience, for your understanding and for continuing reading this story. If you've also been following my other stories, I hope you will continue to read those as well as I work as hard as I can on updating them.**

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><p><strong>This chapter has not been beta<strong>**'****d. As I said the last time, my beta decided to no longer spellcheck this story. I corrected spelling- and grammar errors and typos to the best of my abilities.**

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><p><strong>Love Thy Neighbor<strong>

**Chapter Seven**

Yearning. To experience an aching longing. To desire and pine until the desiring and the pining becomes a throbbing hurt somewhere within; within the body; within the spirit.

Yearning. It is one of those words that is just a word, until all of a sudden it isn't.

Yearning. Duo stared at the single word in his strained script on the otherwise empty page. He placed his hand on his chest. He still felt Heero's hand resting there, like a phantom sensation. He didn't intend to diminish WuFei's very real experience of amputation, but he presumed he had never come closer to understanding what it was like to lose a limb but to still feel it. It felt like something vital and important to his own body had been ripped away from him and he had been left unbalanced and crippled and it would be an adjustment to live without it. But when he touched his chest it seemed like nerve endings throughout his body sparked with vibrant memory and he felt the warmth of Heero's other hand on the back of his neck and the softness of his lips on his own.

Finally he understood the desperation that had driven Heero's passionate kiss. Yearning. The Asian man had felt it too.

Great, Duo grumbled inwardly, that only made his own yearning worse. He dropped his hand down to his lap but when a jolt of electricity spread through him at just his hand falling onto his thigh he realized his mistake and placed both hands on the desk. His eyes were wide, startled at the strength of the sensations which he had expected to have faded away as Heero left - leaving Duo dumbstruck – several hours ago. It didn't help, of course, that the last time Duo had sex was longer ago than he cared to admit. Quite frankly, it was embarrassing. Yet it had never bothered him all that much until then, until he experienced the yearning.

Conspiring with his lustful body his mind added insult to injury witth thoughts that, for Duo's own sake, he shouldn't be concerning himself with. A particularly powerful one was the realization that Heero was right next door and likely as willing and as… enthusiastic, as he had been before. If he wanted more, all he had to do was walk over there and claim it. Let his tongue claim Heero's mouth. Let his hands claim Heero's body.

"Oh boy!" Duo exclaimed and shot up from his seat, nearly tripping over his own feet as his body was awkwardly uncoordinated, missing that warm hand on his chest.

He headed for the kitchen to occupy himself with the task of making an ice cold drink, although he recognized that the only successful attempt at subduing these thoughts and feelings would be to drop some ice cubes down his underwear.

Even though the house was steadily getting more balmy as the evening rain had made way for a blistering afternoon sun that surely took it upon itself to verify the theory of global warming, he was afraid to go out onto the back porch to check if there was at least a refreshing breeze. It was far too dangerous to risk even seeing Heero's face, regardless of how much he desired to even just see him. Worse still would be what could happen if being confronted with that beauty would prompt him to give into his other, literally more hands-on, desires.

This yearning-thing should not be underestimated, he knew. If it would take hold him in the wrong place, at the wrong time it would negate everything he had worked for, for twenty years. Twenty long years that had left him empty, exhausted and dreadful of grey hairs every time he braided his hair. To nullify that by giving in to the one thing he had been fighting, would be like canceling out most of the life he had lived. Where would that leave him? At square one. And he didn't like being at square one last time he was there.

When he noticed later that day that Heero's big red truck was missing from his driveway, he dared to venture outside for a breath of fresh air. All he did was rest his elbows on the bannister lining the porch and scrutinizing the house next door, the exterior of which was restored beautifully by then. He uneasily pondered the cruelty of his Lord by moving this incredibly good-looking young man to purchase the neighboring house. He knew God as an entity capable of cruelty, his parents made sure he knew that part of Him well, but he had never thought Him to be cruel without reason. That made the predicament of having an attractive gay man move in next door all the more difficult to accept as an act of God. After all, what had he done wrong to deserve this? He had been doing fine and he would still have been doing fine if not for this inexplicable intervention. Was it really as straightforward as a test of Duo's resilience and resolution? Duo was starting to doubt it, although one Biblical story kept nagging at him, implying the contrary, the story of Abraham: the father whom God command to kill his begotten son and who obliged, out of faith and obedience. But if it truly was just a test, what was the correct answer?

"Turn the other cheek?" Duo wondered aloud and then immediately shook his head at his unfortunate choice of words, but the visuals that even such an innocent thought inflicted on him were not unpleasant. He had, after all, noticed that his neighbor had nice… cheeks.

Duo's body went rigid when he heard the familiar grunt and sputter of the old red truck's engine as it pulled into the driveway. He suppressed his initial reaction to bolt, but couldn't summon much more bravery than the inaction of staying put. Leaning on the bannister he pushed himself forward to look down the opening between the two houses and watched Heero get supplies from the back of his truck and disappear behind the house. Inadvertently Duo took notice of the fitted black jeans the younger man was wearing. The yearning significantly intensified. He decided he should head back inside. He didn't trust his resolve if he had the chance to lay eyes on Heero again. He retreated back inside.

All through the day he felt that gravitational pull, that he had described to Heero previously. He felt that if he would just relax his muscles, rather than straining and focusing to stay seated in his lounge chair, his body would just be slowly drawn to the house next door, like the world was being tilted and he would slide across the floor, closer and closer to Heero, if he didn't clutch at the armrests of the chair for purchase. It was incredibly distracting and frustrating. Once a while he would merely turn the page of the book in his lap, even though he didn't manage to read a single word, in a vain attempt to occupy himself.

He couldn't stop thinking about it. At a certain point, his thought process switched from mulling over his own thoughts and feelings to what Heero must be experiencing. For Heero the matter was much less complicated than for Duo, there was nothing holding him back, no memories of towering priests in their floor-length black robes looking over his shoulder. However, in spite of the fact that the Asian man had not been able to define his feelings for Duo, the older man assumed that it must be painful for the younger man to have his advances be unrequited, perhaps even more so because he was not compelled to fight these feelings due to personal inhibitions. He wanted Duo – to what extent was unclear to both of them – and he had no reason not to.

He wants me, the thought echoed in Duo's head.

He went to bed that night feeling nauseous, knowing what dreams would take him.

Morning came as a relief. He took a quick, cold shower and then headed for the kitchen to make a cup of coffee he would call breakfast. He sipped at it over the sink, only because it was right in front of the window and his resolve had taken a gut-wrenching blow over the course of the night, causing it to whither and shrivel. The longer he stood there, the worse he felt. He berated himself for acting like a stalker and moved away from the window.

Duo spent his day in his office with the curtains drawn. His notebook lay open on the surface of the desk, he leaned over it and stared at the one word intensely.

Yearning.

He couldn't write down anything else. Every word that came to mind was dangerous.

He was reminded of a reparative therapy method he was forced to practice following his brief sexual attraction to Anthony. He had come to know it as one of the less intense and extreme methods, yet he was hesitant to try it without the guidance of his priest-appointed therapist. Of course the man hadn't really been a therapist. He was an 'ex-gay', who denounced his homosexual deviance and returned to the right path. Duo's parents and priest had hope that the man could coach Duo to achieve the same success. The therapy entailed writing down the unwanted thoughts about Anthony and to literally throw them away; to ball up the paper and throw it in the trash. It seemed to have the desired effect when he was younger, but of course being forced to write down sexual thoughts in the presence of that man – 'the therapist' – as well as his priest overseeing the sessions, worked like aversion therapy. It created negative associations for him. Every time he was overcome by sexual feelings for Anthony, he would instantly be reminded of the discomfort and shame that he felt when he had to write those feelings down, it stopped short any physical desire from developing further. He feared that if he would apply the therapy himself at that moment, it would have the opposite effect, he would just get horny writing down what would basically be porn, inspired by the passionate kiss from the day before.

Other therapies he had been subdued to, he wouldn't even consider trying again, being pretty sure that they had scarred him for life. Some of the experiences were quite traumatic.

Finally, he put his pen to the paper and whispered softly as he wrote.

"Heero is in my hallway. In my personal space. The very air in the room vibrates with his presence. My body sways, like it's about to fall towards him. It wants to be nearer to him still. He can never be close enough. Without warning he pushes me back against the door and the definitive sound of the door slamming shut seals my fate. It was going to happen and I wouldn't be able to stop it. I surrender to that. I find comfort in that. It was happening to me, it was no fault of my own. Heero's entire body is pushed flush against mine and then he raises himself up on his toes, his torso rubbing against me as he does. He kisses me demandingly, with a mouth that is searing hot and a tongue that burns right through me, into the inner core of my being, where something stirs; a beast. His hand is equally hot on my chest, it is like it is reaching inside of me and gripping my heart. He could rip it right out of my ribcage if he wanted to, but he subjects me to a much more cruel fate, leaving me my heart to feel every hard beat that spreads warm blood through my body, to my groin particularly. He introduces my body to the true desire – the yearning – to be close to him, to be inside him." He dropped the pen as if it scalded his fingers. "This was a bad idea," Duo groaned and he reached down to carefully readjust his erection in his jeans. Nevertheless he attempted to rid himself of the fantasy by ripping the page from the notebook, crumpling it in his fist and depositing it decisively in the trash bin next to the desk.

"This was a really bad idea."

With a hiss he drew his hand up his thigh to the bulge at the apex but withdrew on second thought.

But it was like the bite Eve and Adam took from the forbidden apple that spelled the doom of mankind. It could not be undone. Worse still, he was hungry, greedy for the entire apple. He wanted it all. He yearned for all of it. He hated the comparison, but Heero was both the apple and the serpent who seduced him. That made his sensual feelings be replaced with anger. Heero was supposed to be a good man – he even had the audacity to point it out to Duo when he was being less than a good man. It was unfair and unkind of him to put him in this position. It was selfish! He had been doing fine! He had been doing fine until Heero showed up!

Jumping at the chance to place the blame on someone other than himself, he shot up from his seat. He stomped out of his office and thought twice about going out through the front door. The neighbors had seen the two of them together too often as it was. He opted for the backdoor, each footfall angrier and louder than the one before. Duo stalked through his backyard, knowing there was an opening in the hedge at the back, where the plants had not been able to grow, overshadowed by a recently cut down, huge conifer. He stepped through the opening, nearly tripping over a horizontal branch, which only added to his anger.

Heero was in the kitchen, Duo could spot his shape through the curtains in the open doorway, swaying gently in the breeze. The younger man had his back turned towards the door opening and wasn't aware of Duo's presence until his religious neighbor slammed his dirty socked foot down on the steps as he climbed up onto the porch.

"Fucking Hell!" He exclaimed and spun around in time to see Duo step into the house uninvited.

"Why did you do that?" Duo demanded.

Heero blinked. "Duo, I'm sorry. It's just something people say when they get caught off guard…"

"What? No, I don't mean that. I mean yesterday! Why did you do… that?!"

The younger man seemed to become uncomfortable and he took a step back. "Are you angry?"

Duo scoffed. "Yes, of course I'm angry! I was perfectly fine before you moved in next door. And then to make matters worse, you tell me you have feelings for me and you kiss me?"

"Hey, you told me you had feelings for me first!" Heero snapped back.

"Still! You read my book! You know of my troubles! How could you do that to me?"

"Yes, I read your book and I told you exactly what I thought your book meant," He defended himself. "And when we went out to play basketball a few weeks ago WuFei literally told me that if I was interested, I should 'give it a try'!"

"That goddamned meddler! Shit!" Ashamed of the profanity that slipped out of him, he blurted: "Oh Fuck!" Then, realizing his mistake, he pointed a finger at his neighbor and accused: "You bring out the worst in me!"

Heero rolled his eyes. "Oh sure. Yeah. I put cusswords in your mouth and make you gay."

Duo eyes followed Heero's hands as he gestured to emphasize his own anger. There was a warm feeling growing in his chest and on the back of his neck, right where those hands had been the day before, threatening to melt away the icy sharp edge of his rage.

"Fine. I shouldn't have kissed you. I was wrong. I wasn't planning on doing anything, even though your best friend basically told me I should. I wasn't going to do anything because I wasn't sure if you wanted that. But then you show up on my front door… - which, by the way, is how you are supposed to come to someone's house. The backdoor is off limits 'til we like each other again - Oh shit," He made a face. "Oohh. That is such a wrong way to put it."

Duo frowned, oblivious to the Freudian slip that had been made.

"Anyway, you come to my house and you tell me you have feelings for me and that you imagine me kissing you! And then you expect me to just leave that be?! I figured that maybe you did want it! Like maybe… like maybe you did want me." The short neighbor seemed to deflate, his arms dropped to his sides and with a sigh he looked away. "I'm sorry," He breathed through soft lips. Lips Duo had known intimately. His gaze soon hardened and he focused it on Duo anew. "But that really wasn't okay the way you stormed in here, you scared the shit out of me."

Confused by contradicting information being communicated between his mind and his body, Duo raised his hand to run it through his hair.

Heero flinched and squeezed his eyes shut, like he was expecting Duo's fist to come at his face.

Duo froze his hands mid-air and watched Heero slowly open his eyes again. That sufficiently took care of the last of his anger, draining it out of body through a soft sigh. "I wasn't going to hit you," he clarified quietly and brought his hand back down.

Heero didn't say anything, he appeared ashamed.

Duo chewed on the inside of his cheek at his conflicting feelings. He felt bad about previously comparing Heero to the serpent and about yelling at him, but at the same time he didn't want to allow himself to become too sympathetic, as that was possibly the first step down a dangerous road.

"Well then what are you doing here?" Heero demanded bitterly. "What do you want?" He placed his hands against Duo's chest and pushed him back to create more distance between them.

The touch triggered a reaction in the tall American. A warmth spread across his skin, emanating from where he could still feel the shape of Heero's palm and his long fingers on his chest, through the thin cotton of his black T-shirt. It flushed his cheeks and made him feverish all over. "I want it!" He confessed without careful thought.

Heero frowned at him. "What does that mean? What is 'it'?"

Flustered, Duo sheepishly shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know. Whatever it was you were offering me yesterday. You said that if I want 'it', you would want it too. I don't know exactly what that is, if it's just that kiss from before, or if it's you, or if it's… more!" He made frustrated gestures. "I don't know! All I know is that since yesterday I have been yearning for something. And it doesn't seem to matter that it is wrong, because no matter how often I keep saying that to myself, I can't stop thinking about it – about you!" He groaned at his own blabbering. "I just need you to take it back."

"Take it back?"

"Yeah."

Heero put his hands on his hips.

His slim hips.

The younger man snorted and appeared frustrated with Duo's incessant back paddling. "What are we, six? There are no "Taksies backsies" for adults."

"Just say you didn't mean it." Duo knew that what he was asking for was stupid, but in the moment it seemed to be the only thing that would offer him any relief. Well, one of two things, he realized when he caught his gaze drifting along the shape of Heero's body. But the only right thing.

"Duo, I'm not going to lie to you to make you feel better. And maybe you shouldn't lie to yourself either." His voice adopted a softer tone.

"No! No!" Duo took another step back. "Don't do that!"

"I'm not doing anything!"

"Yes you are! You are being all seductive and sexy." Duo bit the inside of his cheek.

"You- You think I'm sexy?"

Duo could barely hear what his neighbor was saying with alarm bells ringing in his head.

A tiny inadvertent smirk appeared on Heero's lips.

His soft lips, Duo recognized.

Heero shrugged sheepishly and said bemused: "Well, clearly that is not something I can help. If you don't want to see me that way, than you have to change, not me."

He is not taking this seriously, Duo thought indignant, but then immediately realized that he couldn't blame him. He was being so childish. He used to pride himself for being a mature, rational, cerebral person; someone who always knows the right thing to say to express himself and to reason with others. Apparently years of living a suppressed life did some damage. How rational and cerebral can someone be who has made himself believe in every Biblical tale and adjust his life accordingly, ending up living like a sexless hermit?

"Are you okay?" Heero's voice came through the fog of Duo's own conflicted thoughts.

The American shook his head. "What?"

"You fell quiet all of a sudden."

"I'm fine, I…" He fell quiet again.

"Duo, it's like I said, if you want it, then I want it. But if you don't, I'm not going to force myself on you. I had to give it a shot and I took it too far. If it's not what you want, then we just do what you said; we stop seeing each other." He looked to the side pensively. "It'll probably be a little weird, but I won't be your neighbor forever anyway. We can handle a couple of months of awkwardness."

Duo frowned. He didn't like that idea, he didn't like it at all, even if he was the one to suggest it first. It sounded so different coming from Heero's mouth, like having him say the words made Duo realize how he actually felt about the prospect of not being able to be close to him. To have Heero remind him that he wouldn't always be occupying the house next door, made him all the more eager to spend more time with the exotic beauty, to let his eyes get drunk on the sight of him.

Maybe, his wicked mind started, it wouldn't be so bad to indulge a little. In a few months Heero would be leaving and any can of worms that will be opened in the meantime, he'll take with him. With Heero gone, Duo's troubles would be gone, maybe it would be okay to give into the temptation for the time being.

He realized painfully that it was like a reformed alcoholic celebrating a year of sobriety with a drinking binge, but his head got fuzzy in the most pleasant way entertaining the mere thought of a sequel of the previous kiss. He could push him back till the small of his back was against the kitchen counter and he could wrap his arms around that slim waist and grind his pelvis against his. He could plunder his mouth before kissing his jaw, down his neck and lick the dip of his collarbone and then rip his shirt off and move his mouth lower still.

Duo blinked and felt his cheeks redden when he realized they had both just been staring at each other for several minutes.

Heero's features were calm, yet mildly curious. His mouth was relaxed, his lips slightly parted. His eyebrows were slightly raised expectantly. The expression in his eyes was soothing and made Duo lean in a little closer.

The tall American had secretly hoped Heero would take the initiative, as he had before, give him the excuse of not having any other choice but to go along with it, but the shorter man stayed still and waited patiently, maintaining eye contact unashamedly. He wanted him to make the first move this time.

"I want it," Duo admitted with coarse voice and hot face.

Heero whispered in return: "Then take it."

Duo gasped quietly as a shudder ran through him. The seductive encouragement was spilling desire all over his mind, inhibiting the firing of neurons concerned with rational thought. He started shaking his head, he started saying "No" – he said it over and over again – but he took a step closer. He could smell Heero, sweaty yet sweet; fruity, he felt sparks jumping between their bodies, electrifying his skin.

It was a sin, he knew, but he was powerless. For a decade his guilty mind had been dominating his body, suppressing its desires, denying its need. It had made his body a hungry beast, determined to satisfy its urges, at any cost. The steel bars that had caged him were buckling. He felt claustrophobic, he needed to get out. He needed to get out!

But he couldn't! He shouldn't!

The American started gasping for breath as he staggered back till his back was against the wall beside the open door. Fresh air was coming in, but he felt like he couldn't breathe.

"Are you alright?" Heero's concern was evident, he rushed towards him but Duo held out his hand, to keep the younger man away from him.

Duo barely managed: "I think I'm having a panic attack!"

"Okay. Okay. Just try to calm down." Heero got a plastic cup and filled it with water and stretched out his arm to give it to him, staying as far away from him as he could, recognizing that that was what his neighbor needed most of him.

Duo took careful sips, the drinking regulated his breathing and he soon felt better. He leaned against the wall for balance. He had never experienced panic like that before. He had always felt in control and thanks to that he felt like he would be okay. He could choose not to be gay, he could choose to live righteously, he could choose to spare himself divine punishment. With that confidence, he didn't have to be afraid, he always thought he could control it; save himself. But it was apparent that that side of him had only been dormant, it had never been gone, it had never been fully under control, it just hadn't been awoken yet. But then Heero came and he rattled the cage. It scared him. It scared him to think that his fate wasn't his to choose. There were all these rules outlining the one righteous path, but life pushed him in whichever direction it felt like, disregarding the stipulations of the Bible. And he would be punished for it. That wasn't right, he thought angrily, but that was what was happening.

"I'm so sorry."

The writer looked up at his stricken young neighbor standing in the middle of the kitchen, looking at him with big, pitiful, sorrowful eyes.

"I'm so sorry," He repeated genuinely. "I didn't know it would make you feel like this."

With his panic gone, Duo felt embarrassed. He straightened up and ran a hand through his hair. He put the empty cup away on the kitchen counter. "I'm sorry I freaked out,' He said sheepishly. "That has never happened before. I guess no one has ever awoken such strong feelings in me before." He fell silent at his own words. His feelings for Heero must be more serious than he ever feared, for the young man to cause him to doubt the one thing he believed and had strived for his entire adult life: that he could change himself.

He was gay. He could try not to act on it, but did that really change anything? Did that exempt him from retribution?

Heero appeared emotional, overcome with guilt as the gravity of his mistake hit him.

Duo wanted to hug him. He realized instantly how dangerous that seemingly innocent desire could be, so he adamantly decided against it and tore his eyes away from the younger man. "I have to go," He stated, but he didn't move a muscle. He didn't really want to go, but he knew he was right in saying that he had to, absolutely had to.

Heero slowly nodded, still embarrassed and guilty about what had happened.

"I have to go," He said again, his eyes finding Heero's through the young man's haphazard bangs.

"I know," Heero said softly. "I understand now."

"I'm sorry about barging in here like that, I didn't mean to scare you."

"That's okay. I keep popping up and catching you off guard. I had it coming."

Duo's lips formed a small smile. "Okay. Well, then I guess I'll go."

"Yeah."

Finally his lead legs started to move and took him out of the house, through the back door, through the yard, slipping into his own garden between the hedges in the back. He didn't look back, he was afraid that if Heero might be looking at him as he left, he would sprint right back to that old house and take his new neighbor into his arms.

He spent the day actively trying not to think about the young Asian man, but his efforts were in vain. The more he tried to push the thoughts of him away, the stronger they became and the more they fought back. Meanwhile the beast of his desire stirred ever so slightly in its cage, caught in only a light slumber. He attempted to subdue dangerous wanderings of the mind by focusing on Biblical passages, but all that accomplished was making him experience an echo of the panic that had overcome him in Heero's kitchen.

He had been doing so well, he mused, the rule book of his life in his lap, his fingers clutching at it. It felt like it was slipping away, even though it was firmly in place. For twenty long years he had not lusted after another man, it had only ever been Anthony, given rise to the hopeful assumption that he wasn't really gay, but had just suffered a singular, freak attraction to his childhood friend. For the past ten years he had lived most of his life in the confinement of his own house, reading the Bible daily, devoting his life to it. He had written a book even, with the failed attempt to honor the worth of the teachings of the Bible and the church and its representatives, acclaiming the love of God and the love for God. Was all of it just a miserably failed attempt? The book, his marriage, the counseling, the reparative therapy? All vain attempts to change something that can't be changed? He had been chiseling away at the rock face of a mountain for twenty years, but for the first time in twenty years he took a step back and saw that his work has been idle. The face of the mountain is scarred and damaged. But the mountain is still a mountain, it hadn't budged and it wouldn't.

Where did that leave him? On a path towards eternal damnation? Does it really matter if he acts on his desires or not, does that save him from judgment? Is a racist not a when racist when he keeps his opinions to himself? Is a pedophile not a pedophile when he only plays out the fantasies in his head? And conversely, is a person religious if they go to church every Sunday, but never actually believe in God?

Do our actions define us? He asked himself. Really?

Exhausted after a day of inner turmoil he went to bed early, but he would find no rest between the sheets. He was stricken with confusion. What was he supposed to believe? What was he supposed to do?

No one ever made him ask those questions to himself. He had been steadfast, he knew his goal and he knew how to achieve it. There were no questions. There was only the iron will to control himself, to make himself fit into that admittedly narrow space that the Bible, the church and his parents had outlined for him.

It had never been so difficult to live by the rules. Not even in the very beginning, when he was so convinced he was in love with Anthony. When he could still remember the tentative kisses he and his young friend had shared, with curious but shy fingers barely slipping under the hems of shirts.

The eyes which he had forced shut flew open. His ceiling stared back at him.

Maybe that was it.

"But that wouldn't make any sense, would it?"

The ceiling offered no answer.

Maybe his few but cherished moments with Anthony had quenched his thirst; maybe they had satisfied the beast and it had since been living on those memories, content for as long as the taste of them would last – for approximately twenty years apparently. Now the memories had but faded away, truth be told, Duo hardly remembered what Anthony's face looked like. He hadn't allowed himself to look upon a picture of his childhood friend since he last saw Anthony in person, hanging from the rafters in his bedroom. The face had been forgotten, obscured by his untamed hair, but Duo would never forget the sight of his feet dangling in the air.

A combination of satisfaction and fear might have kept the beast of his desires from fighting against his constraints. Now it was thirsty again and no longer afraid enough to cause him to deny those primal urges.

Maybe the best way to control the ungodly part of himself, was to give into it at select moments. And what could be a more opportune moment than a neighbor who will soon completely extract himself from Duo's life when he once again relocates, as he always does?

Or maybe he was just making excuses for himself…

Whatever the case, it seemed too late for second thought. He felt the softness of the carpet under his feet and then the cold of the door handle in his palm as he twisted it open and left his dark bedroom, blindly finding his way down the stairs. He experienced a new kind of panic; foreshadowed regret that he would experience if he let Heero leave in a couple of months without knowing what it would be like to have his arms tightly around his waist and his mouth firmly against his lips.

With a screech the cage door swung open.

Duo quickened his pace through the damp grass of his backyard, stumbling at certain steps, like he was being dragged forth by a big, wildly enthusiastic dog. He thought that at any moment reality would hit him and he would bolt in the opposite direction, realizing what he was doing, what he was getting himself into and rightfully wondering if this mistake could ever be undone, even when Heero would be gone, taking all the feelings Duo had for him with him. But it hadn't happened yet by the time he had reached the back porch of the old house. All the lights inside were off. It was by then past midnight after all. Yet, he raised his fist and rifled on the back door.

For a long time there was no response. Against better judgment he knocked on the door again, determined and loud enough to be heard throughout the house, but not loud enough to draw the attention of nosy neighbors.

His heart was beating so rapidly and powerfully it might have actually been visible through his grey T-shirt. The pace only quickened when he spotted a light go on through the curtain behind the door. It was the light in the hallway and in it appeared a shapeless shadow that seemed to be headed for the front door.

Duo knocked again, softly this time, watching the shadow halt.

Then it approached him and another light was flicked on, in the kitchen. Through the thin curtain Duo could now vaguely see his neighbor, who stood in the kitchen momentarily, puzzled, or perhaps hesitant.

The door was unlocked and Duo took a step back as it swung outward and Heero took a step outside. Duo's unannounced presence had clearly caught the young man by surprise and it was evident he had previously been fast asleep. His eyes were hooded, his hair tousled, even more so than usual and his navy blue fitted Tee and grey sweatpants hung, disheveled, off his slender frame.

Duo felt an unexpected, eerie sense of calm as he laid eyes on the attractive young man. It was apparent that he would not be bolting, every part of his being just wanted to melt into the other and to let him absolve him.

Heero didn't say anything, not knowing what Duo's intentions were.

"I have no idea what I'm doing," Duo admitted, which was true on so many levels. He reached out his hand, not deterred by the sudden tenseness in Heero's body and wrapped it around the back of the young man's neck and with one jerk of his arm he swiftly pulled the other towards him, not satisfied until his body collided with his own. Being met with no resistance, he determinedly leaned down and captured Heero's lips in a powerful kiss. At first it was very unsensual, very much like an uphill battle. Heero was shell-shocked and without his guidance Duo's embarrassing inexperience showed.

But when Heero relaxed against him and trailed his hands up Duo's muscular chest, everything changed.

The American's hands sought for purchase in Heero's silky soft chocolate brown tresses. His tongue fought for dominance against the other. All the while the distraction of Heero's hands on his body was crippling, making it hard for him to maintain the kiss, but he desperately wanted to.

Heero chuckled softly - more like a sharp breath - at Duo's lazy, sloppy attempts to keep the kiss going while being overloaded with sensations that he had denied himself for so long. The author was twelve years older than his neighbor but his bountiful life experiences did not include many passionate kisses and although happily overcome by the novelty, it was embarrassing. Heero slowed down the kiss, to soft, sensual, open mouthed kissing, foregoing intimate tongue-play or exploration with his hands.

Grateful for the change of pace that allowed him to catch his breath, Duo was able to fully appreciate the softness of Heero's lips and the warmth of his body pressed against his own. He brought his hands down to the young man's waist and wrapped his arms tightly around it as he had imagined. Pressing his neighbor against him tighter still drew his attention to the fact that although Heero had the appearance of being in control and collected, as opposed to Duo, he did share his state of excitement. Duo could clearly feel the hard bulge between his shorter neighbor's legs pressing against his thigh. The realization was slightly unsettling, it was like reality knocking on the door, but he wasn't willing to answer. He just allowed the sensations to rip through him like a bolt of lightning, disregarding what might be broken or set alight. He wanted to feel and for once he didn't allow himself to consider what it all meant.

The kiss had taken on a gentle, soothing quality, with both men relaxing into each other, becoming comfortable with each other.

Duo wouldn't mind for the sun to set and rise a thousand times over as they continued their unhurried kiss, content with the bubble of his world shrinking around him, excluding increasingly more past experiences and negative feelings, until there were just him and Heero, locked at the lips. Nothing else existed beyond that and he was fine with that, left with a vague, distant awareness that everything else is empty and depressing anyway.

It was Heero who ended the kiss, almost abruptly. With a quizzical expression he said: "I don't know what this means."

Neither did Duo. "Does it have to mean anything? I like being around you and I liked… that," He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. "Can't we just enjoy each other's presence, for as long as we can? Rather than ignoring this – whatever this is – and being uncomfortable around each other?"

Heero frowned, looking a little uncomfortable at the vague response.

"You're only going to be here for a few more months anyway and I am not going to let this change my entire life. When you leave, it will over and it will be clean, for both of us."

If anything Heero appeared more apprehensive, he was certainly far less enthusiastic about the development than before.

"You said you wanted it if I wanted it, right?"

"Right," the neighbor agreed hesitantly.

"Did… Did you change your mind? Because I freaked out this afternoon?" Worried, Duo took a step closer, trying desperately to read Heero's expressions, but he couldn't decipher any of it. His body tensed up and his breath hitched in the back of his throat when he felt Heero's hand low on his stomach. He suspected the younger man was going to push him away, creating more distance between them, but before Duo could preemptively oblige, Heero pinched the fabric of his t-shirt between his thumb and forefinger and lightly toyed with it, all the while looking at his own hand intensely, like he was trying to work out a difficult problem. Then all of a sudden he strongly twisted his fingers into the fabric and Duo responded to his short neighbor tugging him closer to him.

"No," He said in a whisper. "I didn't change my mind." The way he looked up at Duo in that moment, with expressive, longing eyes and white teeth gripping nervously at the full lower lip, the author had no choice but to once more succumb to the desires he had denounced.

The tall man leaned forward and reclaimed Heero's lips with another passionate, albeit inexperienced kiss.

It would just be for a little while, he placated the ill feeling in his stomach before the last wisps of rationality faded into the background. It was better this way, to control his dark side by sometimes giving into it, at his own terms, rather than fighting against it until it grew stronger and stronger and would inevitably take hold of him in the wrong place, at the wrong time and do more damage than it would now.

Heero was leaving anyway. In many ways he was leaving just like Anthony; wholly and to never return. And then the God fearing man could be himself again. Really, it was only the presence of Heero that brought out this dangerous yearning, it had been nothing but a dull throb before he first saw the new neighbor getting out of his old red truck. A dull throb that was easy to ignore. Once Heero was gone he could go back to that. If he believed God could forgive him for his feelings for Anthony, he had to believe that God could forgive him for not being able to resist the yearning that his new neighbor evoked in him, so long as afterwards he worked as diligently as before to serve God and put his love for God ahead of his lust.

He had to believe that, or else he would be lost, seeing as there was no way he could stay away from Heero, especially now that he had had a taste of the forbidden fruit.

Yearning. It is one of those words that is just a word, until all of a sudden it isn't.

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><p><strong>I hope this was an enjoyable read. I'm sorry this chapter is a little shorter than you are used to of me, I just didn't want to keept you waiting any longer.<strong>

**Thank you very much for reading, I hope you'll share your thoughts with me. **


	9. Chapter 9

**Pikeebo: Yes, they are in a pretty pickle. I hope you will continue to read how they deal with their own dilemma's. Thank you very much for reviewing again :)**

**Celestinasong: I hope you will continue to read and enjoy the story :) Thank you for taking the time to review :)**

**TKM: Thanks, mate :)**

**Frayedsoul17: Thanks! I'm really happy to read you are still enjoying the story. I hope you will read and review this chapter as well.**

**Snowdragonct: Yes, poor Duo, I've put him in quite the situation :P Thank you very much for another insightful and kind review, I hope you will enjoy this update and I hope to hear from you again :)**

**Ryoko Lamperouge: Then all I'll say is: Thank you very much :)**

**Mrs. Passionate: Thank you very much for your review, I hope you will like this new chapter :)**

**Elle. Writes: When I first conceived this story I asked myself a similar question: Do I have any business writing this story? Obviously as a straight woman, growing up in The Netherlands (arguable the most accepting country with regards to homosexuality), raised in an atheist family I could never fully understand the kind of struggle that the story revolves around and I was sensitive to the fact that I might only end up insulting people with my 'outsider's perspective'. But I just felt that even with an informal medium like fan fiction it was important to tell this kind of story and I should try to give that struggle a voice to the best of my abilities. I am very honored and relieved that you were impressed with Duo's depiction. I certainly hope I can keep up the good work. I am also very glad to read my English has improved. Maybe it is a good thing to not rely on a beta for this story, the lack of a safety-net might be the necessary push to develop my skills further :). Thank you very much for your candid and insightful review, I truly hope you will not be disappointed with this story as it progresses.**

**The Yaoi Pimpette: Thanks! I'm very happy to read that you enjoyed it! I hope this chapter will measure up :)**

**Chibichocopaws: Thank you, I try very hard to keep up my stories. I probably wish more than anyone – more than any reader – that I could update more often, but I hope that the time and care I invest in what little I do post makes up for the long wait :) Good eye for noting 'the flinch' as a significant thing. It is explained in this chapter. Thank you for reviewing, I hope to hear from you again :)**

**xAngelOfSorrow: Thank you, you are so kind! I hope you've tried and enjoyed some of my other stories. And of course I hope you will like this update :)**

**Shingamia: Haha, I think the Backstreet Boy reference means we're from the same generation :P I am very relieved that you are not put off by how long it takes me to update. I hope you weren't keeping your fingers crossed to see WuFei reappear in this chapter, he has been benched for now :P And yes, the final kiss was supposed to be awkwardly sloppy, though not nastily so :P Thank you for taking the time to review, I wonder what you will think of this chapter (hint: it's not awkwardly sloppy anymore :P).**

**SylverCross1: I wasn't raised with strict religious teachings either, but I hope I've picked up enough knowledge in Catholic school and from my grandparents (who live in my country's version of the Bible Belt) to make the story realistic. I'm not American, so I am hardly an expert on God-fearing American Neighborhoods :P Anyway, thank you for your review, I hope you will like this chapter also :)**

**Maeve Mauvais: Thanks, that is a great compliment, thank you very much! I hope you will be pleasantly surprised by this chapter also :)**

**CaseyCuervo: For the sake of the story I've pitted the entire neighborhood against homosexuality, but I hope to offer some redemption in future chapters :) Oh and whenever I have an OC and I can't think of a name, I think of series and movies I've watched and the name Carlton is taken from the Fresh Prince :P I hope you'll like this update :)**

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><p><strong>Author's note: <strong>

**This is a relatively quick update for me, I updated "Loneliest Road" less than a month ago, that has to be some kind of record. **

**I hope this chapter lives up to expectations. It gets kind of smutty towards the ends, courtesy of my currently favorite song which is kind of… sexual and vulgar XP**

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><p><strong>Keep in mind that this story has not been beta'd. I gave it a once-over myself and this is the best I can do.<strong>

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><p><strong>Love Thy Neighbor<strong>

**Chapter Eight**

Duo lay in bed that night sick with uneasiness. He knew that he was doing something wrong, he knew that he had to stop himself from continuing down that path, but he also knew he was powerless. Although he resigned to his temporary fate of not being able to resist temptation as long as his new neighbor was around, his acceptance of that fact did not alleviate his guilt and the nausea and restlessness in which it presented itself.

Rising from the mattress before even the sun bothered to peer over the horizon he took a lengthy shower under a stream of hot water that made his skin red. After half an hour of letting the water beat down on his slumped shoulder he realized that he would never feel clean. That uncomfortable sensation of mud caking on his skin was a trick of his mind, it was not his body that was unclean, but his spirit. Unfortunately that was what his teachings disproved of most. Roll in the mud all you want, just don't dare to have unclean, impure thoughts.

In front of a fogged up mirror he blindly shaved, brushed his teeth and braided his hair. The light coming in through the small window of frosted glass was orange, dawn had come. In the light of the sun he felt even more exposed.

With a big towel wrapped around his waist he headed downstairs to silence his growling stomach. An odd breakfast of yoghurt and last night's leftovers satisfied his body. He consumed it over the sink, an excuse to peer out the window. There was no sign of Heero, even though the young man usually got up at the crack of dawn to make the most of the day. Of course last night he didn't get much sleep, being rudely awaked by a man nearly twice his age unable to control his immature desires.

The memory of the kiss ghosted over the man's lips.

Was it all worth it? The way he felt… the guilt he experienced… Was giving into his physical needs worth that much sorrow the morning after?

The American dropped his empty bowl in the sink and headed back upstairs to quickly jump into some clothes. It dawned on him Heero might promptly appear at his front door and he couldn't very well answer whilst naked save for a towel riding sinfully low on his hips. Naked in front of the mirror in his bedroom he paused and gazed upon himself in dismay. He wondered what Heero saw in him. Being young and energetic and having a physique to match that youthful spirit, Heero commanded an obvious kind of beauty. He had soft, golden-toned skin; tight, lean muscles; sharp, exotic features and fashionably wild hair. He had the kind of looks that would make anybody take notice. Duo didn't think there was anything special about his own body, certainly not enough so to catch the attention of someone as extraordinary looking as Heero.

To save himself further self-inflicted embarrassment he stepped away from the mirror and hurried into a pair of dark jeans and a black sweater. Dressed in dark clothes he stood out in his almost exclusively white bedroom, like a stain. He angled the mirror so he wouldn't soon catch his own reflection again and then fled downstairs to his beloved books.

Halfway through his favorite work by Tolstoy he realized the words had no impact on him whatsoever. His eyes moved from left to right, diligently reading the thoughtful words, but his mind was more focused on the small clock on the table next to his lounge chair. Every tick, indicating another second gone by, was like a whip across his back.

He had expected his neighbor to come by, given last night's events. Why hadn't he? Had he changed his mind? Was he embarrassed of Duo? Did he regret kissing an old man? Or worse still: had it all been nothing more than a game and, now that he had won, he didn't feel like playing anymore?

Tick. Tick. Tick.

The hour was nearing the end of the afternoon. Duo could vaguely hear the familiar sounds of construction work coming from the house next door.

Tick. Tick. Tick.

He got up, grasped the taunting little clock and walked it over to the far end of the living room, setting it down on the corner of a plant table. He sat back down in his chair and took the book into his lap.

He grumbled. He could swear he could still hear it ticking, although it was more likely in his head.

Tick. Tick. Tick.

He felt like a fool. An old fool.

He stalked to the kitchen window and cautiously pushed the sheer curtain aside to see into the yard next door. The backdoor of the house was open, the curtain in the doorway, meant to keep insects out, was being pulled out and pushed back in by the wind, in a slow, lazy rhythm. He could hear the blunt sound of a hammer echo through the neighborhood.

Losing patience with himself as well as with Heero he decided he wasn't going to wait for the young man to come to him. If he wasn't interested anymore, now that he had managed to wrap the older man around his little finger, Duo would rather find out sooner than later.

He started towards the front door but then pivoted around and headed out back. He made his way through the opening in the hedge at the very end of the neighboring yards and crossed the lawn to the back porch of Heero's temporary residence. The repetitive sound of the hammer got louder as he neared the door. Not allowing himself the time to second guess himself Duo grabbed a handful of the curtain just as the wind pushed it out towards him and he moved the fabric aside to step into the kitchen. The sound of the hammer rung in his ears.

Heero was right there, his back turned towards him. His entire body strained, his muscles tense, as he swung an enormous jackhammer to the wall between the kitchen and the dining room. His shoulders shook as the hammer powerfully connected with the wall, breaking away the plaster and wood. His feet were planted at shoulder's width to keep himself steady as he swung the hammer back up for the next hit. His presence having gone unnoticed, Duo gave into the temptation to stare. His eyes ran up Heero's body, trailing up long legs wrapped tightly in faded denim to a shapely behind, narrow hips and tiny waist, where his olive green tank top was tucked into his jeans. His golden shoulders glistened from the exertion and the hair on the back of his neck was darker and clung to his skin with sweat.

He only vaguely registered the crackling sound of a radio in the corner; a classic rock song with suggestive lyrics.

Duo continued to stare, even as his face was red and hot with embarrassment… and something else.

Heero stopped his work with the release of a deep breath and he leaned the hammer against what remained of the wall. "You know, next time," He started,

Duo froze.

"You could offer to help a hand." Heero turned around and grinned at him and he nodded at a second hammer by the back door.

"You knew I was here. Why didn't you call me out?"

Heero chuckled breathlessly. He didn't answer, instead, he reached his hands down and twisted his fingers into the front of his top, he pulled the fabric out of his tight jeans and brought it up to wipe the sweat off his neck, exposing his flat stomach and toned chest.

Duo gulped. "So… uh… Bringing down the wall, huh?"

"Yeah," Heero looked back at the wall in its deconstructed state as he absentmindedly tucked his shirt back into the front of his jeans. "It was just a single door leading into the dining room. People like to entertain while they cook, so I'm going to put in a wide archway."

Duo liked how out of breath the young man sounded, it made his voice low and deep and – if possible – even more sexy than usual. His face flushed redder still and he looked away when he realized his eyes had been focusing on Heero's hands going into the back of his jeans to fix his top. "Good idea," he commented.

"You want something to drink?" Heero already started towards the small fridge.

"No thanks."

"I'll have something, if you don't mind." He bent forward and retrieved a chilled bottle of water. He brought it to his lips and Duo watched his throat work as he swallowed about half of the contents. "Sorry, I don't mean to be rude."

"No need to apologize. It's hot." The older man's eyes widened. "Uh, I mean: it's hot out. Outside. With the sun. You should hydrate."

Heero laughed. It was throaty and deep and delicious, Duo noted, much to his own embarrassment.

"Why did you come over?" Heero wondered once he had finished his water.

Duo shrugged, trying to act aloof. "I guess… I guess I came over because you didn't."

The young neighbor quirked an eyebrow.

"I worried what it meant, that you didn't- I expected you would- I thought you might have lost interest, or something," He fumbled to explain. So much for being cool and aloof, with his teeth he worried his lower lip. He tucked his hands deep into the pockets of his jeans, so uncomfortable and self-conscious that he didn't know what else to do with them.

Understanding was apparent on Heero's feature. A tiny, sweet smile tugged at one corner of his lips. "I didn't lose interest" He assured the older man. "I didn't come over because… because I thought you might not have wanted me to." He tossed the empty bottle he had been fidgeting with in the trash bin and took a step closer towards Duo. "I didn't want to force my presence on you. You are the one who is breaking his own personal rules, so I need you to set the boundaries and take the initiative when you feel comfortable doing so. You need to take the lead and let me know what you want from me, otherwise I am constantly second-guessing myself, like this morning. Does he want me to come over? Does he want me to kiss him?"

Duo swallowed, but it was hard, his mouth was suddenly dry.

"I don't want to accidentally push things further than you want them to go. I don't want to end up being accused of being inconsiderate and insensitive because it might not always be clear to me when I'm crossing a line."

Duo took a moment to appreciate how kind and accepting Heero was being of his admittedly unattractive, childish behavior. It was quite overwhelming to have someone be witness to his weakness and still respect him. He looked at him, both in awe and confused. How could someone, especially someone as young as Heero, be so mature and accepting? Duo felt so small, even as he towered over his Asian neighbor. Small-minded. He wished he knew how to change that about himself, but he feared the answers had been purposefully kept from him, to make accepting the rigid black-and-white teachings of the Lord easier.

In the stretching silence between them, Heero inched closer. He whispered: "Tell me what you want, Duo."

He shivered. The reply died in his throat, too afraid to say it out loud, but Heero must have read it in his eyes, for the younger man stepped into his personal space and tentatively placed both hands on Duo's chest, a question of permission in his eyes. All Duo did – all he could do – was nod and watch, with hooded eyes, Heero push himself up on his toes, his warm hands sliding over Duo's chest to grab his shoulders to hold himself steady as he stretched his body so his lips could touch Duo's.

The kiss was surprisingly gentle and sweet, even though Duo could feel the tension between them that he thought would escalate to another desperate, sloppy kiss like the one from the night before. His doubts started to melt away but a single, nagging thought remained.

Was it worth the self-doubt and resentment he would undoubtedly feel later?

With a final, soft merging of their lips, Heero slid back down, purposefully keeping their bodies flush together. The rustle of the cotton and denim of their clothing rubbing together sounded like a waterfall to Duo; thundering, almost too loud. His heartbeat was equally present, he could hear the blood rushing in his ears in a fast, powerful rhythm. He opened his eyes – when had he become so lost that he had to closed them? – and looked down at him. The younger man had his forehead pressed against Duo's sternum, hiding his face. His hands smoothed down the length of Duo's arm, briefly taking a hold of his hands – the palms of which embarrassingly sweaty – before settling them on Duo's hips, his thumbs idly circling.

Heero took a deep breath and titled his head up to look back at Duo.

The religious man felt a constriction in his chest upon looking into his ocean-deep and equally richly colored eyes that sparkled in accompaniment to his brilliant, shy smile.

Yes, he thought to himself, staring at the perfect features. It is worth it.

"Was that okay?"

An abrupt laugh burst out of Duo. "Okay" didn't come close to covering the myriad of emotions blossomed indulgently in his chest.

Heero grinned but stepped back, self-conscious all of a sudden. "I shouldn't have leaned into you like that, I'm all sweaty." He looked down at his disheveled shirt, a dark stain on the front of it where the fabric clung to his skin. "I probably stink too." He wrinkled his nose.

"I didn't think so. In fact, I like the way you smell, even when you are sweaty."

The cheeky grin returned to Heero face, but his features were dominated by a red blush on his cheekbones.

"Would you like some help?" Duo turned around and picked up the other hammer, standing by the door and he held it up to punctuate his question.

"Uh…" The change of topic briefly baffled the younger man, but he answered: "Yeah, sure. If you don't mind." He picked up his hammer and instructed: "I was going to take out this whole wall, because it's all rotted anyway and build a new one with the big archway in it. So if you want to tackle that side, I'll take this side."

Duo nodded and they both got in position. With his first swing Duo blew out a big part of the wall and he was immediately hit with the therapeutic potential of deconstruction. The second impact was even more powerful and even though he was breaking something down, he felt good about being part of a project. He had been feeling so useless lately, the last few years actually, it was good to move his body and to focus on a physical act as opposed to locking himself in his study without any result. It was good to not have to think and to not have to worry; the task was simple and clear yet no less satisfying. The simple, small contribution he could offer surprisingly made him feel good about himself. It was so novel that he almost failed to recognize it, but there was a calm that settled over him and as his muscles worked all the energy seemed to be rerouted from his brain to his heart to keep the oxygenized blood pumping and everything in his head fell quiet. The chastising voices of disappointed parents and disproving priests faded away, everything was drowned out by the thunderous twin blows of his own hammer and Heero's.

Not caring about the sweat that was beading on his brow and causing his sweater to stick to his body he kept hitting the will with ferocity, occasionally distracted by the awareness that Heero sometimes paused to look at him.

The chore was completely fairly quickly and Duo stopped and looked around. The space they had created was enormous and the kitchen, that enjoyed little light coming in through the single window and door hooded by the back porch, was flooded with light pouring in through the tall windows of the formal dining room. He remembered Heero telling him, a while back, that he could see the beauty in things other people would write off as ugly and for the most brief, yet significant moment, Duo caught a glimpse of it too; beauty in what has been condemned.

Heero let out an appreciative whistle. "It's even better than I imagined…" He marveled. He stepped through the rubble into the dining room.

With his sleeve he wiped the sweat off his forehead. "Maybe you should keep it like this, completely open."

Heero nodded absentmindedly. "Maybe I will."

"If you want," The older neighbor started hesitantly, "I could give you a hand more often."

The young Asian man looked back at him. "You don't have to."

"I want to," Duo clarified.

Heero smiled. "Well, if it's what you want… Thanks."

"Sure."

They stared into each other's eyes lengthily until Duo became uncomfortable under the gaze of Heero's piercing blue eyes and he couldn't help but look away, pretending to admire the room when in fact he was still taken by the after-image of the beautiful Japanese male on his retina. He jumped when he realized the shorter man had approached him and was close by his side. He stared quizzically at the broom held out to him.

"You can give me a hand cleaning up the mess we made," Heero said with a smirk.

They worked quietly to gather the debris and shuttled back and forth to the steel container in the front yard with buckets full of rubble. Duo was aware of the fact that the neighbors might see him but ignored the wave of worry that threatened to drown him and worked through it. There shouldn't be anything suspicious about one neighbor helping out another. He could easily explain away any foul rumors with something he had already mentioned at the meeting of the Neighborhood Association; that the sooner Heero was done renovating the house, the sooner he would be gone. With that explanation they could only be supportive of him lending a helping hand, they wanted Heero out of their suburbia fast.

Duo wasn't yet sure whether or not he shared their urgency. On one hand he knew that it would be better for him if Heero left as soon as possible, that way Duo's carefully constructed life would be minimally disturbed and he could continue along the path that had been laid out for him. On the other hand Duo acknowledged that Heero was the only thing in his life that actually made him feel alive – both the bad and the good feelings that he invoked in him provided his life with an excitement that it had forever lacked – and, oddly, knowing he would have to part with that sensation at some point did cause him to experience a dull pain in his chest; a throbbing apprehension.

Realizing the hour was drawing near to dinnertime, a thought popped into his mind that spilled over his lips before he had the chance to second-guess and filter himself. "Would you like to come over for dinner?"

Heero was crouched on the floor, gathered up the last of the dust and small bits of plaster with a dustbin. He snapped his head up in surprise and slowly straightened up. "Are you serious?"

Duo's face felt hot. Maybe he shouldn't have asked, but then again, it would be rude not to. It didn't sit right with him to indulge himself in kissing Heero and, perhaps in the future, touching him, without also building on their non-physical relationship, even if it were only as a friendship, or whatever – he was reluctant to label it. If he were to be intimate with someone in the physical sense, he felt he had to be intimate with them in the emotional sense as well. In fact, he didn't believe one could truly exist without the other and they had to be able to trust each other. "Yes." Then, remembering what Heero had said earlier, about him having to be clear, he emphasized: "I want you to come over for dinner."

Heero's smile was instantaneous and breathtaking. "Okay" He agreed with a shy shrug of his shoulders.

"Don't expect too much, I'm just going to pop a frozen lasagna in the oven."

"Lasagna will be perfect," The younger man practically purred.

Duo's body tensed up at the shiver than ran down his spine. "G-Good." He nervously checked his watch. "I guess I'll go preheat the oven then."

"What time is it?"

"Almost six." He checked his watch again, his anxiety urging him to be more precise. "It's a quarter to."

"Would you mind if I showered at your place?" His intonation implied he was worried his question would make Duo uncomfortable.

It did, but he swallowed and, to stall for time, he asked: "Why?"

"I don't have a functioning shower yet in this house. Both bathrooms are a mess. I joined a gym downtown solely so I could use their facilities but if I have to drive there I don't think I'll make it back in time for your lasagna."

"Okay," The tall one blurted.

"Okay? As in, I should just jump in my truck, or…?"

He vehemently shook his head. "You can use my shower." He didn't want to say no and be petty like that. Besides, what was the big deal? Other than the fact that Heero would be naked in his house… The images that simple thought prompted made the American feel hot and the collar of his sweater suddenly felt constricting around his neck.

"Thanks, that is very generous of you."

"It's no bother." He pointed his thumb at the door. "I'm going to go ahead then and preheat the oven and you just gather your stuff and I'll see you at my place."

"Okay."

He headed for the front door and then, with a scrunched up face he turned around and guiltily asked: "Would you mind coming around back?" That way the neighborhood wouldn't know that he and Heero were spending the evening socializing. He could explain away helping the temporary resident with the renovation, but he feared the kind of gossip that could be sparked if the wrong people discovered he was spending time with Heero. More precisely, what he feared was that ill-intended gossip could actually get closer to the truth than he would be comfortable with.

"Through the hedge?" Heero seemed put off by the suggestion.

"Please?"

"Fine," Heero consented curtly.

"Thank you." Duo left through the front door, because some of the neighbors probably saw him hauling dirt to the front yard and he wanted to make sure that if someone was still keeping a watchful eye on him, they would see him leave. As he crossed the front lawn to his own front door the corner of his eye caught movement of a curtain across the street. He ignored it as best as he could and stepped inside. He turned on the oven as he said he would and, after looking around himself, hurriedly tidied up. He was rearranging the books in the living room into more orderly stacks when someone rapped on the backdoor. Awkwardly he dumped the books in the seat of his favorite lounge chair and with hurried steps he approached the door.

"Hey, come in."

Heero gratefully bowed his head as he stepped into the kitchen. He had clothes and a folded up towel cradled in his arms.

"Upstairs, first door to the left," Duo instructed as casually as he could, "that's my bedroom. The bathroom is through there." There was a second bathroom upstairs, but he never used it, there was nothing there, not even a shower curtain.

"Thanks."

He watched Heero's backside as the young man headed for the stairs. Only when he disappeared out of sight did Duo feel like he could breathe again. He focused his attention on the oven, which was all he could do to keep his mind from straying to the fact that Heero had been in his bedroom, had walked right by his bed and was now naked under his shower. He jumped when the oven beeped and popped in the lasagna – large enough for two – he had retrieved from the freezer. He stared intently at the red numbers of the timer.

He didn't know how, not even precisely why, but without his conscious consent – let alone careful consideration – his feet had taken him upstairs. He was a little shocked at himself when he found himself standing just outside his bedroom door. The door was ajar, he could see one half of his room, the foot of his bed and the window overlooking the backyard, but not the door to the bathroom. However, he knew from the sound of water clattering on the tiles – after running over Heero's naked body – that the door to the bathroom was open as well. He stood and he listened. He was disgusted at himself. He was ashamed with himself. But those two strong, negative emotions protected himself from making a grave mistake: giving in to the desire to push the door open fully, step inside his bedroom and peek into the bathroom.

In the dark hallway he couldn't help but wonder if it meant anything, that his guest had kept both doors unlocked, open even! It had to have been a force of habit, Duo concluded, certainly Heero would agree that it was too soon to take the physicality of their relationship to that point, if they ever even would.

His body went stiff when, with a squeak, the faucet was turned off and the clash of water on tile turned silent.

Fully, horribly embarrassed he stepped back soundlessly and tiptoed down the steps. He was acting like such a child! In many ways he was no different from a teen struggling with burgeoning sexual desire, but the curiosity, no the fascination with it was hideously unattractive on a man of his age. He was reminded of the giddy antics of virginal brides in period pieces, giggling at every notion of nudity and intimacy. How mortified he was to discover he had become one of those insufferable characters as opposed to the strong protagonist he always liked to pretend he was in his fleeting dreams.

The lasagna still had a few more minutes to go, but Duo could hear his guest coming down the stairs. Self-conscious to be caught doing nothing but waiting for him, he quickly tasked himself with selecting a bottle of wine from his small collection hidden in a cupboard.

"Thank you for letting me use your shower," Heero said upon entering the kitchen.

"It's no problem," Duo brushed off casually and straightened up with one of the bottles in his hand. "Wine?"

He nodded. "Thank you. I'll just take my stuff back over to my house-"

"No, there's no need. You can hang your clothes over the porch rail and drape your towel over the bench, you can let it dry there?" Why was he so eager to keep Heero around? Wouldn't it be a slight relief to have a few minutes by himself to gather his wits?

Heero stepped out onto the porch and did as instructed; placing the bundle of worn clothes over the bannister and then hanging his damp towel over the back of the wooden bench. He lingered on the porch, his hands casually tucked into the back pockets of a fresh pair of tight jeans and he observed the garden. The sky was already starting to tinge orange but the heat of a day's worth of sun clung to the earth, keeping the air comfortably warm.

"The landscaping is beautiful," The temporary neighbor remarked through the open back door.

Duo had just finished pouring two glasses of wine and walked over to him. "Thank you. Here you go."

Heero accepted the glass and took a small sip. "You don't happen to remember the company you hired to do your yard? I'm still looking for someone in the area to take care of my plot."

"I'll check my books, maybe I still have the guys contact information somewhere. No promises though, it was done a couple years back."

"Only if it's not too much trouble."

Duo looked at him reassuringly. "It's not too much trouble."

Heero smiled. "Thanks. It really is beautiful."

"It is," Duo replied absentmindedly, gazing upon Heero's finely sculpted features.

The oven beeped and the two of them headed back inside. Heero apologized for his informal clothes – a pair of jeans that appeared to be painted on him and a T-shirt with his college name a logo in faded print on the front. Duo assured him it was fine, he felt self-conscious about not having taken the time to shower himself. Heero smelled so fresh. He smelled like his own shower cream and shampoo, Duo realized, though he never noticed on himself how good the two products smelled.

"So, Cornell, huh?" The older man nodded casually at the front of Heero's grey shirt while he slipped his hands into decidedly unmanly mittens with polka-dots. "You weren't exaggerating when you said your dad had other plans for you than renovating houses."

Heero sheepishly looked down at his shirt. "Yeah, they were so excited when I was accepted. But I hope that in the end all they ever wanted for me was for me to do what makes me happy."

"Oh, I'm sure- I didn't mean-"

He smiled. "I know, don't worry about it."

"If your parents hadn't had their accident, do you think you would have been happy becoming a business man?" The tall man wondered as he kneeled in front of the over.

"I guess it seems kind of unlikely now," Heero mused, "But I'm not much of a 'what-if'-guy."

Duo nodded and divided the generous serving of lasagna between two plates and set them on the table, next to each other. He thought it would be less awkward and less date-like if they sat side-by-side as opposed to across from each other. They wouldn't constantly be looking up at each other and their knees wouldn't be brushing under the table. But Duo quickly realized the different seating arrangement was no fix. He was hyper aware of Heero sitting next to him and jolts went through him every time their elbows accidentally touched as they hungrily dug into their meals, washing it down with a second glass of wine.

When they were done, with barely a word spoken between them, they cleared the table and Duo announced that he was going to take a shower. He had expected Heero would leave, but instead the younger man asked if he could hang out in the living room – wait for him – and nose through his books. He surprised himself by saying "sure" before going upstairs.

Under the warm spray of water Duo couldn't push Heero from his thoughts. The fact that he had just been in that very bathroom half an hour earlier didn't help. He opened the bottle of shampoo and as he poured a generous amount into his open palm he groaned. The very scent reminded him of Heero now. It has been his shampoo of choice for years, partly because of its understated scent, but all of a sudden the smell of it was overpowering as were the images of a soaped up golden-skinned figure that inadvertently came to mind.

"Oh no," He looked down at himself in dismay, noticing how hard he had gotten from the mere thoughts the vanilla scent provoked. He contemplated what would be worse, masturbating while Heero was right downstairs or waiting for it to subside but to be stuck with elevated sexual tension for the remainder of the evening. Opting for the former he decisively took hold of his arousal and – more dutifully than anything – got himself off swiftly. He bit his lower lip to stay silent, even though his guest couldn't possible hear him from the living room.

Unhurried he got dressed in casual jeans and a black turtleneck, he felt like hiding, too embarrassed to face Heero. He wished he could get away with a scarf wrapped around his neck, dark sunglasses and a baseball-cap. He wanted to be anonymous, only because truly invisible was humanly impossible and hidden and unrecognizable was the next best thing.

"Hey," He said softly, almost apologetically, when he stepped into the living room, self-conscious about the fact that it had taken him so long so shower, only then realizing what that implied.

His guest was standing in front of the wall of bookcases. He looked over his shoulder, "Hey," then turned his attention back to the book he was holding.

"Find something you like?" Duo went to stand next to him and gazed at the collection of titles he knew by heart.

"I don't know, I haven't read most of them and like they always say: you can't judge a book by its cover."

Duo smiled.

"You pick one," The shorter man said, placing the book he had been holding neatly back where he found it.

"And then what?"

Heero shrugged. "Maybe you can read something to me?"

"Read something to you?" Duo dumbly repeated. He couldn't explain it, but the request felt so intimate.

He looked at him sweetly and Duo realized that he needn't argue, he was going to do it.

"What would you like me to read to you?"

He shrugged and stepped back to take a seat of the couch. "Anything. As long as it isn't horribly depressing."

Duo pensively looked back at the books, his eyes were drawn to the golden script on a leather bound book. "Romeo and Juliet?" The sharp laugh behind him startled him.

"That is your idea of a not-depressing story?" Heero inquired with a chuckle.

"Well…" Duo turned to look at him, momentarily distracted by the sight of him. He had toed off his shoes and had comfortably seated himself on the soft cushions of the couch, his socked feet tucked under him, his elbow on the backrest of the couch, his head leaning against his hand. "It's a story about love," He pointed out dryly.

"It's a tragic story about love."

True, Duo thought, but: "Aren't all stories about love tragic?"

Heero narrowed his eyes at him, his brows furrowing. "Wow, that was incredibly depressing. Do you really believe that?"

Duo sighed and approached the couch, taking a seat next to him. He paused before answering, to give the matter careful thought. "I don't know. I have little experience with love, so I can hardly make any definitive inferences, but when I think about 'love', words like 'heartache' and 'despair' come to mind."

The young neighbor was quiet for a long time, his uncannily piercing and mature eyes gazing at him pensively. Eventually his expression softened and he wondered: "When was the first time you were in love?"

At the question an image of Anthony came to mind unbidden, for a brief second he searched his memory for how old he was exactly when he met Anthony, but then he reminded himself that he never loved Anthony. All he ever felt for Anthony was misguided lust, that's what he had been told all his life – by others and by himself. He fast forwarded through his young years and found what he accepted to be his first love and what he felt comfortable admitting to. "I was eighteen. We had moved across town into a different school district. I did my senior year at a new school and fell in love with the girl that I would later marry; Hilde." He tried to picture her face from when they were younger, but again a memory of Anthony was prompted. He shook his head and decisively repeated: "I was eighteen when I first fell in love."

Heero nodded, but his thoughtful gaze implied that he had his questions about the truthfulness of Duo's answer. "When was the first time you had sex?"

Within a second all the blood rushed to his face, or so it felt. "Uhm…" When he got over his initial shock, he replied: "I was twenty-two years old. It was my wedding night." He said it with a defensive tone, he didn't really understand why Heero wanted to know. "What about you?" He shot back.

"Sex?"

His face felt hotter still. "Sure," He tried to sound casual.

"I was fourteen."

Duo couldn't stop his eyebrows from raising in surprise.

"I know it's young," He admitted with a slight blush.

"Yeah… wow… Then how young were you when you first fell in love?"

"Twenty-three."

His eyebrows disappeared under his bangs again. He expected the age to be younger than the age when he first had sex. He was even more surprised when a moment later he realized that while the age of twenty-three was many years in his own past, for Heero it was only two years ago. "Oh… I assumed- I thought you would have fallen in love before you had sex."

Heero's lips formed a sad smile. "I suppose it should have been that way."

When the younger man didn't elaborate, Duo questioned curiously: "So you weren't in love with the person you lost your virginity to?" He was shocked at his own questions, normally he wouldn't encourage such an intimate topic of conversation.

"No."

"Then why have sex?" The American blurted.

Heero chuckled. "Because my body wanted it. I didn't expect to find love anytime soon. As a young gay boy, I knew I'd probably be waiting for a long time to meet someone I could love and who could love me back. I was fine with that, but I didn't want to have to wait that long to have sex, so when the opportunity presented itself at fourteen, I took it. I guess I was afraid of missing my window and being stuck with raging hormones for years to come. I don't regret it, it was nice. It was… beautifully awkward."

Duo swallowed. "But you found someone at twenty-three?"

"In a way," He replied ambiguously, causing Duo to frown. He elaborated: "I was deeply in love with him, but we weren't supposed to be anything more than friends. He was straight. Or he still is. I don't know."

"You don't know if he is straight or not?"

He grinned, but there was no humor in his eyes. "I can hardly be blamed, he himself didn't know whether he was straight or not. I haven't seen him in a long time, I don't know if he ever figured it out."

"What happened? Did you ever become more than friends?"

The younger man took a deep breath and cast his gaze off to the side, it appeared like he didn't want to share the story and Duo was about to assure him that he didn't need to – he didn't want to pry – but before he could, Heero answered. "I told him I loved him, one night. We were at my place, on the couch, watching a dumb movie. He made a joke that made me laugh and it just… slipped right past my lips. He pretended that he hadn't heard me, but I was done pretending that he was just a friend to me, so I repeated what I had said and I put my hand on his leg. He got really mad and he stormed out, without saying anything." He paused meaningfully. "Hours later, in the middle of the night, he was at my door. He was pissing drunk. He said 'Let's do this' and then he was all over me; kissing me, touching me, pushing me towards the bedroom."

Duo felt like he couldn't breathe as he stared at Heero's lips while the young neighbor talked with low voice.

"The sex was… angry and painful… but it was wonderful to me nevertheless. I thought things would change between us. But I got it right as a young boy, it was going to take me a long time – longer still – to find somebody who could love me back… He left the morning after. Even though we had sex, we never became more than friends. In fact, we became less than friends, he made himself a stranger. I never saw him again."

For a moment the American was speechless. He could tell the memory made his guest upset and he wanted to reach out and touch his shoulder in a comforting gesture, but he didn't, instead he just said: "I'm sorry."

"It's okay, it was for the better. It was good, the way he left. That way I could have closure. If we had stayed friends I would have only continued to pine for him," Heero nodded, as if he was still trying to convince himself that it was good, the way things ended.

"So he just left?"

"No," He answered with slight hesitation. "Are you sure you even want me to tell you all of this? Aren't I boring you?"

Duo shook his head. "If you want the tell the story, I would like to hear it."

"Alright. Well, when I woke up the next morning, he was getting dressed. He was in an awful hurry to get out of there. I got dressed and offered him coffee. I tried to act normal because that seemed to slow him down. As he was tying his shoes he asked if we could pretend that night had never happened and that we could just be friends again. I couldn't do that. I was desperate to get him to change his mind, I wanted so badly for things to be the way I had always imagined them. I kept telling him that I loved him and that I felt he could really love me back… I don't remember exactly how I put it, but he got very angry. Very angry. He screamed at me and he hit me, right in the nose. When I tasted my own blood I realized I was kidding myself hoping things could be the way I had always dreamed of. He would never be able to give me that. So I had no choice but to get over him, I just didn't know how to do that. I didn't know how to quit loving him," He let out a breathless, embarrassed chuckle. "The only thing I could think of was that he had to hurt me bad, he had to close that door forever so I could move on." His jaw clenched.

"I provoked him," Heero admitted quietly. "I said: 'You can pretend all you want that last night didn't happen, but we both know you loved it'. Of course he hated that, the implication that he was gay, and I knew he would. He hit me again, so hard that I fell to the floor. That's when he started kicking me and I let him, I did nothing to stop him, I didn't even try to shield myself. I needed him to hurt me so I could resent him for it. I thought that would make the pain of having him deny me pale in comparison."

"Did it?" Duo scraped his throat after hearing how hoarse it sounded. The story made him feel a little sick.

Heero offered him a sad smile but said nothing in response.

"I'm sorry."

They sat in quiet for a long time, each lost in his own thoughts. Again Duo found himself taken aback by Heero's openness; it was so touching. He had known WuFei for most of his life but he couldn't recall the Chinese man ever telling him something truly personal, exposing himself like that. Duo felt sorry for Heero, but at the same time the young man had a strength that he admired. Maybe it was Heero's youthfulness that allowed him to divulge secrets so easily, or maybe he just felt like he could trust Duo because –thanks to reading his book – he knew most of Duo's secrets as well. Whatever the young man's reasons, Duo liked it, it made him feel special, it made him feel like he was listening to the inner dialogue of a fictional character and he couldn't help but be drawn in.

"How did your relationship with your wife end?" Heero wondered tentatively. "It wasn't in the book."

Duo shrugged. "I attempted to end the book on a positive note by not including the divorce. Of course I didn't know yet that the whole thing came off as a depressing sarcastic remark on religion and social acceptance," He grimaced. "Anyway it uh… It just ended, one night. We had grown apart, there was nothing between us anymore. Our relationship had been reduced to mandatory polite conversation at the breakfast table and carpooling to church on Sundays. And every Sunday night we would… make love," he bit the inside of his cheek, that term didn't even feel remotely right. "Because every Sunday at brunch we had to listen to her parents nagging us for 'grandbabies', so we always figured we might as well give it a shot. We had lived our whole lives doing what we were supposed to do, why stop? One night, after doing… that, we laid in bed staring up at the ceiling and she told me there was a packed suitcase in the back of the closet, casual as you please. And all I did was ask her if it was packed with my clothes or hers. Hers, it turned out. She left that night." Duo bit back a startled gasp when he felt Heero's hand on his shoulder; the comforting gesture he had denied the younger man.

In a desperate attempt not to grab Heero's wrist and pull him closer to him, Duo cleared his throat, hoping to erase the anxiousness from his voice and mused aloud: "It changes you, don't you agree?"

"Sex or love?"

Why did hearing those two words fall from Heero's lips in that vibrating tone of voice of his cause his spine to shiver with cold yet his face to flush with heat? "Both?" He offered pathetically, losing track of where his train of thought had been going. The hand was still on his shoulder, gently – almost imperceptibly – kneading the tense muscles.

"I'm not sure. I didn't feel any different after having had sex for the first time, but I did feel like a wildly different person after my first love."

"Was there another love, after him?"

A shy smile appeared on his kind, disturbingly attractive face. "Maybe. It was sort of a love-at-first thing."

"How did that work out?"

The smile spread, his eyes sparkled with something mischievous and something genuinely heartfelt. "I don't know yet."

Duo looked away, their eye contact had suddenly become too intimate for him to bear. He ignored the implications of Heero's answer and stared intently at the wall of books. His eyes found the Romeo and Juliet copy again. He was still convinced all love stories were innately tragic, because to him romantic love was temporary in nature, part of its beauty was its fleetingness, like spring. It was the bitter cold of the winter that made the warmth and flowery scent of spring all the better. For whatever reason, love never lasted, not as far as he knew at least. Lovers get ripped apart for so many reasons; feuding families, relocation, unrequited love, death. If they manage to stay together, the feeling of love somehow never fails to wither away, to leave nothing but a residue of obligation and – if one is lucky – friendship.

Love, as far as Duo was concerned, was much like a bouquet of roses; it was a beautiful gift that, with tender care, could be enjoyed for a longer while, but its death was inevitable. Never had Duo seen love last. Not in his own marriage, not in his parent's marriage, not in his neighbor's marriage. WuFei was happy with his wife, Sally, their love was still strong but he had grown up to believe that even they would not last.

And sex he considered to be much the same. The need to be close passes, if anything even more quickly than the love.

The only thing Duo could trust to be constant was his religion. In all his life it hadn't changed – something the church is actually faulted for in these modern times – and even though it seemed like it made his life more difficult, he had always felt it made his life easier. The rules were not easy for someone with his sexual deviancy to abide by, but at least he knew how to live his life. Religion was his anchor that kept him from drifting out into open water. Freedom meant uncertainty, questions and self-doubt. True freedom meant being lost and spending your entire life trying to find your way, without any guidance. That scared him more than anything.

He could not let go of that anchor for the sake of such fleeting things as sexual attraction or even love. That is why even though he felt he had no choice but to give into his shameful weakness for as long as the incredulously attractive Heero was his neighbor, he knew he could not let himself be taking away by the tide of his attraction or the surging waves of unbridled sexual desire. Once Heero was gone, Duo would still be in the place where his anchor kept him, gently bobbing on the surface as the currents calmed, never going anywhere. Boring as that may sound, at least it wasn't dangerous.

"Where did you go?"

Duo blinked at the soft sound of Heero's voice. "Huh?"

He smiled. "You had your eyes closed and you seemed a million miles away?"

"Really?" He hadn't even noticed that he had closed his eyes. He did notice that Heero's hand was still on his shoulder, the warmth of his palm soaking through the fabric of his turtle-neck sweater and melting something within him into something delicious and soothing. He braved looking into those deep blue eyes, much like the ocean he feared getting lost into, but he was drawn into their depth. He felt himself leaning in, but he stopped. He wished Heero would take the initiative, so he could just let it happen to him and later have the consolation of the thought that he didn't start it, but the beautiful young man only looked at him expectantly, waiting for him to make a move.

"Heero," He started hesitantly, "I know you said I should take the initiative… but I don't think I can. I don't know what to do, or how to do it." This was no lie, it was a very embarrassing fact. "I- I think I need you to take the lead. I promise I won't blame you if you accidentally take things further than I might be ready for. I'll let you know if things move too fast, too far." He was rambling on nervously. He fell silent, tensely holding back a sigh of relief, when Heero moved his hand from one shoulder to another, encircling Duo's neck with his arm and placed his other hand on his thigh before scooting closer to him. The American closed his eyes when the hand slid higher up his leg, closer to his groin.

"Okay," Heero agreed, his breath hot in Duo's ear. "But you have to at least tell me what you want."

Duo opened his eyes and looked at Heero, marveling at his finely chiseled features. "You," He replied decisively.

The young man's eyes widened slightly at the brazen confession that surprised them both. He recovered quickly and closed the distance between their lips harshly, their mouths crashing together. They kissed feverishly and hurriedly, quickly opening their mouths to let their tongues battle. Duo ignored his self-consciousness at his lack of experience and allowed pure instinct to move his lips and his tongue and if the small sounds Heero emitted were any reliable indication, he could at least pat himself on the back for having good instinct.

Duo was momentarily distracted when he felt Heero slide one of his legs over his, settling his knee on the empty space between Duo's thighs. Realizing that he wanted even more contact and thoughtlessly giving in to his desires, he sought for more. His hands found slim hips and he gripped them tightly and pulled Heero towards him until the smaller man was straddling his lap. He moaned into the kiss. Heero dug his long fingers into his chestnut hair, tilting Duo's head as he pleased as he took control of the kiss and ravished his neighbor's mouth, clearly thrilled by the fact that the older man was not shying away from his touches.

Losing himself to the intimacy of their kiss the American lacked the coherency of mind to second-guess anything and his hands were free to roam; first going up Heero's sides, the hem of his shirt hooking behind his thumbs, then trailing back down to cup his ass and grind his hips against him. With slight embarrassment Duo realized that he was rock hard, but it came as no surprise considering how long he had gone without serious physical contact. It was a relief – draining the excess blood from his face and rerouting it to his groin – that Heero was similarly aroused, the hard bulge pressed low against Duo's abdomen.

The hurriedness of their sparring ebbed away. With a sigh Heero brought his arms around Duo's neck as he leisurely continued to kiss him, gently suckling on his lower lip and ghosting his lips across his in a feather light touch. With much of the urgency gone, Duo felt more comfortable with his hands placed on Heero's waist as opposed to his behind, but even there his hands felt awkward and he found himself unable to continue to respond to his kisses. Realizing the moment was gone and Duo was pulling away from him rather than engaging him, Heero released the author's lips and buried his face in the crook of the man's neck.

"I'm sorry," He murmered into Duo's turtleneck. "That was too fast, wasn't it?"

"Hm," Duo couldn't really form any words. Heero's arousal was still evident, pressed against his stomach, a heat radiating from it. Equally distracting was the undeniable fact that Heero, in turn, must have felt his erection pressing against his bottom. Still in a daze, the acclaimed author couldn't resist teasing the shell of Heero's ear with his lips, but he abruptly snapped his head in the opposite direction to stop himself from once more giving into his dangerous desires.

The young man groaned, but, with slight delay, sat back. He looked at him with dark, hooded eyes.

Duo let his gaze drift down, enthralled by the long neck, noting the way the too-big shirt hung off his frame, the collar open to reveal the tempting dip of his collarbone, reveling in the sight of the jeans pulled taut in the front, but when his eyes focused on his hands which had fallen to the top of Heero's strong thighs, he looked at them as if they were somebody else's hands. He didn't understand how Heero could have this effect on him, how the young man – however beautiful he was – could make him abandon all he had ever known and believed to be righteous, make him think those teachings were wrong, unjust and cruel, in fact.

He removed his hands from Heero's thighs and rubbed them against his own as they were hot and slick with a sudden nervous-sweat.

With a sigh that Duo couldn't decipher he climbed off his lap and sat back down beside him, slumped against the pillows, lost in his own thoughts. The two men silently waited, side by side, for them to regain their composure and for their bodies to calm down.

"Did I cross a line?" Heero inquired after a long silence, long after their rushed panting had quieted.

"Yes," He answered, certain of the truthfulness of it. What he wasn't sure of was if he hadn't wanted him to, or if he regretted it now that the moment was over. He was afraid of the truths hiding behind those questions.

"I'm sorry," The other repeated. He brought his hands up and rubbed his face, then ran his fingers through his untamable hair. "You just have this effect on me," He confessed, staring up at the ceiling.

Duo chuckled darkly. "I think I know what effect you speak of." He was startled when Heero suddenly looked at him, his big eyes soulful but with a distinctive glimmer of concern.

"I must confess," Heero started softly, "that although you think me wise beyond my years, I don't have much experience with relationships. Only with sex."

Duo's mouth went dry.

"I don't know how to take it slow. I don't really know when something is too soon, or inappropriate."

"Me neither." Duo's casual shrug made Heero smile. However, as he continued to speak, he watched that beautiful smile disappear quickly. "But Heero, you know I'm not looking for a relationship. We're just enjoying each other's company, right?"

"Right," He replied curtly, his gaze more stern, his eyes unreadable.

"I guess what I'm saying is that the 'rules' of what is or isn't 'too fast' don't apply. I suppose we should just figure out what we're comfortable with as we go."

Heero nodded, then looked away pensively. Eventually he wondered: "May I ask how far you think this will go? How far you want it to go?"

The older man frowned. "What do you mean?"

"Well, just now, I wanted you to fuck me,"

With impressive control Duo kept his jaw from dropping to the floor and his eyeballs from bulging out. He suspected Heero was crass for shock value and he worried that he had somehow insulted or upset him to provoke that piercing glare he was receiving.

"Is that something I could expect to happen in the future?"

"I- I don't know."

"Do you know what I can expect? I like making out, but if it is only ever going to end with us waiting until our dicks go soft again, I'm not sure if that is something I'm interested in."

Duo stared at him, a little offended and caught off guard by matter-of-fact and insensitive behavior. He thought Heero was understanding of how difficult this was for him, but suddenly he felt like Heero was backing him up against the wall and getting him to agree to an all-or-nothing scenario. "I'm sorry… why are you being like this? Have I said something wrong?"

"No." Heero looked away, his eyebrows furrowing, an increasingly confused expression on his face. "I just think that if this is all about "enjoying each other's company" I want to get something enjoyable out of it for me." He sounded shy and uncertain, like he knew he was asking for something he shouldn't have expected from Duo.

"Alright…" Duo cautiously agreed. "What did you have in mind?"

Heero shook his head with embarrassment, then, with an apologetic look: "Just promise me that if we are going to keep doing this, at one point one of these nights will end with a climax, as opposed to a cold shower?"

"Okay." Duo was surprised at how easily he consented, but actually, the whole situation was made easier for him with the promise that he owed Heero something in return. That way, when his conscience came knocking he could always argue to himself that he was only giving into his desires, letting things go further than they had that evening, because he made a promise to him. In an unexpected way it eased away some of his responsibility and accountability and he welcomed that.

"Okay?" Heero verified with wide eyes.

"Yeah." Duo stopped himself short of confessing that he wasn't agreeing to something that he didn't want. With the way his body reacted it was shamefully clear to him that he had wanted to have sex with Heero too. But he couldn't say that, he couldn't ever say that out loud. Even just thinking it gave him an uneasy feeling.

"Oh," Heero's expression was uncomfortable. He sagged further in his seat and chewed on the inside of his cheek.

"Would you like some more wine?" Duo offered, reverting into the role of the proper host.

He shook his head, deep in thought.

After momentarily wading in the shallows of the vast ocean of his own thoughts and concerns, the taller man wondered: "What do you really want from me?" He thought of the story Heero had told him, of the man whom he loved dearly, who could never return that love and how much that hurt him. Duo didn't want to be 'that guy', he didn't want to hurt Heero, but the young man – whether or not Heero had feelings for him – could not expect Duo to give him what the nameless man from his past hadn't, because Duo couldn't offer him that.

Heero seemed to consider the question carefully. After several heartbeats he looked up at Duo and answered quietly but clearly: "Whatever you can give me. Nothing more, nothing less."

He nodded in agreement. His eyes widened slightly in surprise when he felt Heero's hand on the back of his neck and the younger man slid closer to him.

With a husky whisper he inquired: "Perhaps you can give me one more kiss, tonight?"

Duo swallowed the lump in his throat. Breathlessly he answered: "Y-Yes. I think I can do that."

Their mouths met half-way in a soft merging of the lips. The kiss was relatively innocent compared to the battle their mouths had previously been engaged in but Duo felt lightening shoot through him regardless. The mighty Lord smiting him for his disobedience?

Heero broke the kiss, but kept his lips so close to Duo's that they brushed his as he spoke. "You were going to read something to me."

Duo shuddered at the sensual whisper. "What would you like me to read?"

"Anything. Whichever book you are reading right now."

Duo mindlessly nodded and extracted himself from Heero's warm embrace to get up from the couch and retrieve the book he had occupied himself with that afternoon, it was still open at the page where he had stopped reading. When he sat back down next to Heero with the thick book in his lap his breath hitched when Heero inched closer to him and rested his head on his shoulder.

"'War and Peace'," Heero stated, having caught a glimpse of the cover as Duo walked back over to him. "Sounds like fun, lighthearted stuff," He remarked sarcastically, but he made no objections to the choice of literature.

Seeking shelter in the black-on-white words, Duo started to read, so he couldn't make a fool of himself when left to his own devices. But as the thoughtful words flowed from his lips, he couldn't help but worry that something far more intimate than kissing and touching was going on. Yet he couldn't very well stop at that point. "I saw my enemy and yet loved him. I knew that feeling of love which is the essence of the soul, for which no object is needed. And I know that blissful feeling now too. To love one's neighbours; to love one's enemies. To love everything - to Love God in all His manifestations. Some one dear to one can be loved with human love; but an enemy can only be loved with divine love. And that was why I felt such joy when I felt that I loved that man. What happened to him? Is he alive? ...Loving with human love, one may pass from love to hatred; but divine love cannot change. Nothing, not even death, can shatter it…"

Duo read aloud several pages, focusing on the deep tone of his own voice, trying not to lose himself in the prose nor the incredible feeling of Heero resting against him, sharing with him the heat of his body and his chest moving against his arm ever so slightly with his every breath.

When Heero let out a soft moan Duo paused and tilted his head forward to gaze past Heero's haphazard bangs at his relaxed face. The young man had fallen asleep – how many pages ago Duo did not know. Staring at the beautiful face the book in his lap had lost all meaning to him. Careful not to disturb the sleeping form he put away the book on the empty cushion next to him and then he tentatively leaned his cheek against the top of Heero's head, then burying his nose in the soft hair that smelled so unearthly incredible that the cheap shampoo couldn't possibly deserve all the credit.

Somehow, no matter how careful he had been, his actions must have awoken Heero. The figure stirred and after taking a deep breath a sleepy voice declared: "I should go home."

"You should," Duo agreed in a low whisper, but he made no move to distance himself from Heero. In fact, it was pretty clear from his intonation that although he agreed Heero should leave, he didn't want him to. Maybe it was due to his own tiredness, or sharing the poetic words of Tolstoy or the soothing warmth radiating from the body pressed up against him, but the layer of rationality and caution that shielding him had thinned to a transparent, barely-there glaze and he found himself unable to resist the sheer magnetism of his neighbor.

The young man looked up at him, he had heard it in his voice. To test the waters he closed the distance to place a mere peck on Duo's lips. "Thank you for a lovely evening."

"You're welcome," He breathed, then he ran his lower lip along Heero's, effectively engaging the young man in another tender kiss. The taste, smell and sight of the exotic specimen on his couch was absolutely intoxicating. He shuddered when Heero moved both his hands to cup his face as he needily deepened the kiss again, exhaling hot breath through his nose in a delicious, content sigh. His hand snaked around Heero and settled on the small of his back, pushing up the fabric of his shirt. Duo moaned into the other's mouth when his palm rested against smooth, heated skin.

"I really should go," The Japanese male reiterated when their lips parted briefly to take in a hastened breath.

"Hmhm," was all Duo could reply, his mouth and tongue otherwise occupied.

"Seriously," Heero spoke between impassioned kisses, "If I am going to get another erection that goes to waste I am going to be really pissy."

Duo let out a hearty laugh and pulled back, looking at Heero's pout with mirth. "Okay."

Heero chuckled. He placed a final, chaste kiss on Duo's mouth and then rose from the couch. As he walked out of the living room Duo reminded him to leave through the back door. He watched Heero's back tense up but the younger man never missed a step and soon he heard the kitchen door open and close.

As soon as the house was empty except for himself, guilt snuck in to join him and haunt him. He did not only feel guilty because his sinful actions were eroding the one pillar of strength that supported the entire weight of his precariously balanced life, but also because for the first time it struck him that what they were doing – whatever it was – could also potentially uproot Heero's life, albeit for different reasons. Even though he had all evening, he couldn't very well continue to ignore the "love-at-first-sight" remark Heero had made, which appeared to concern Duo. He wasn't arrogant enough to believe that the young man could not do 'this' with him without developing feelings for him, he didn't have the self-worth to back up any kind of arrogance, but the night's conversation certainly alluded to the possibility that the situation wasn't clear-cut for Heero either.

Duo didn't want to end up hurting Heero like his first love had, but as long as Heero didn't indicate that he wasn't satisfied with what Duo was able to offer him, Duo knew he would be unable to refrain himself from losing himself to his young neighbor. He was pretty confident Heero was the stronger one of the two of them, so it would be up to him to 'close the door'.

Obviously when he would leave, following the completion of the house, he was going to pull the door shut behind him, but if he wanted to end things before that time came, he was going to have to take it upon himself to lock Duo out. Around Heero's magnetism, Duo suffered an embarrassing lack of self-control. Disappointingly, as long as the door was left ajar, Duo would be right on the other side. Not even a lifetime of indoctrination could prevent him from yearning for Heero's touch.

He found himself out at sea in a wild storm, clutching the chain of the anchor. The anchor was heavy enough to resist the pull of the waves… but were his arms strong enough to hold on?

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><p><strong>Eeeep, I hope you liked it.<strong>


	10. Chapter 10

**CaseyCuervo: Ah, but you know I love my run-on sentences, my relationship with them is real and deep :P **

**CircleKV12: Thank you for saying those kind things about the story. Now I feel extra bad about the way this chapter turned out (me not happy with it), but at the same time it encourages me for next time. I'm going to work on "Thousand Words" next. Thank you for reading and reviewing :)**

**Something like human: Sorry for making you wait so long! I hope you'll continue to read the story though. Thanks for reviewing.**

**TKM: ****I understand the grievance of having to wait for a long time for a story to be updated. I try to be fair to my readers by delivering the best work than I can, as fast as I can. Unfortunately that is not very fast, but I can't change the frequency of my updates, I simply don't have any more free time to spare. I have many responsibilities: I'm in my final year for my university degree in Psychology, I'm taking additional courses in physical therapy and anatomy, I have to run a household and I have to work to finance all of that. Writing is the one thing in my life that is not a responsibility, it is my passion. I don't think it is fair of you to tell me I should either neglect my responsibilities to 'work more actively' on my writing, or just give up on my passion altogether.**

**I'm sorry the story didn't interest you enough to not be put off by the few and far between updates. I will continue to write but I'll understand if you'd rather not continue to read.**

**Ckushrenada: I am truly sorry for taking this long to update, honestly. I hope you are still interested in the story. **

**Jeangreymullinsjr: I'm so sorry for making you wait so long! Believe me or not, this was 'as soon as possible' :S I hope you are still interested in the story. Thank you very much for reviewing. **

**Maeve Mauvais: Thank you very much for your kindness. I apologize for the long wait and I know that this short chapter doesn't make up for a lot, but I hope you'll continue to enjoy the story.**

**Shingamia: Wrecking a house is truly therapeutic, I recommend it :P WuFei will return this chapter, I hope that will make up for the long wait (just a little?).**

**Daydreamer79: I'm sorry for keeping you in suspense so long. Thank you very much for your kind and encouraging review :)**

**EmoCloud: Not yet, be patient, young grasshopper :P Thanks for reviewing. Please accept my sincere apologies for the inexcusable long wait.**

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><p><strong>Author's note:<strong>

**Pfff, it was like giving birth but… whoomp, here it is. As is clear from my update on my profile page I'm not to happy with this chapter as it is, it was supposed to be a lot longer and include more, but it wasn't happening, for whatever reason. I decided to post what I've written so far, rather than scrapping the entire chapter and letting it sit in my head for a little while because I feel bad about how long I've already made you wait. I hope that it doesn't turn you off from the story.**

**I am truly sorry for taking this long.**

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><p><strong>Remember, my chapters are no longer being beta'd by anyone other than myself. Admittedly I'm not the most capable, but I hope I'm doing alright. In the interest of time I might have rushed my proofreading responsibilities a little more than I should have, so I apologize if it shows, I felt so guilty about not updating for so long that I just wanted to get this out there.<strong>

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><p><strong>Love Thy Neighbor<strong>

**Chapter Nine**

He gingerly stepped into the bookstore after loitering outside, just around the corner, for the past fifteen minutes. During which time he told himself he wasn't coming back for the sake of making up with his friend – he wasn't going to grovel, let alone give WuFei the satisfaction of thinking he was right -, but rather that he really needed a new book to sink his teeth into. And well, if mending things between them would turn out to be a byproduct of a new literary purchase, that wouldn't be the worst thing.

The bell on the door chimed and a figure appeared in the doorway to the back.

"Duo!" Exclaimed a pleasant voice excitedly. The woman approached him, stretching her arms out to accommodate his frame as she was about to hug him.

"Sally," He grunted in response in her tight embrace.

"It's been too long," She breathed in his neck before establishing an appropriate distance between their bodies again.

Duo shrugged nervously. "It hasn't been our longest falling out."

"I know," She waved her hand dismissively. "But I bet WuFei that you would be back in here within a week, so as far as I'm concerned it took you too long. You cost me ten bucks."

He chuckled. "Sorry about that."

She smiled. "All joking aside, he'll be happy to see you. You know he's the worst at taking the first step. God, did I learn that the hard way, eventually, after eight years I decided I would was just going to have to propose to him." She ushered me further into the store towards the seats in the corner.

That wasn't how WuFei recounts the proposal-story, Duo thought to himself with a smile. "Is he here?" He wondered, taking a seat.

"Sure, sure. I'll go get him." She darted off, her hurried footfalls soundless on the carpeted floor.

After a short while WuFei appeared from between the bookshelves, pushing his wheelchair to the seating area. "Took you long enough," He remarked dryly.

"As I understand it my absence earned you some cash, so it couldn't have been that bad."

The Asian man smiled as he maneuvered his wheelchair close to Duo's seat. "I've set aside a couple of books that came in with new shipments that I thought you might like."

"Thanks."

"You must have been bored not having anything new to read all this time."

"Bored?" Duo mirrored, bemused. "Not really."

WuFei's eyebrows raised. He was about to open his mouth to insist on Duo elaborating when Sally returned with a tray with steaming teacups and a platter of cookies.

"You didn't have to go through the trouble, Sally," Duo assured her, but accepted the cup of tea regardless, there would be no arguing with her.

"Shut up and take a cookie." She held the platter under his nose.

He picked a plain bisquit and nibbled at it, watching her force her tea on her husband.

"I don't want a cookie," He objected childishly when she pushed them towards him.

"Honey, you should eat. Don't think I didn't notice you skipped lunch."

"I don't want a cookie."

She sighed dramatically and threw Duo a 'do-you-see-what-I-have-to-deal-with?' look. "Do you want me to make a sandwich then?"

"Please, woman, for God's sake! No cookie! No sandwich!"

They glared at each other but then both burst into laughter simultaneously.

"Stubborn asshole," She muttered as she leaned in for a kiss.

"Insufferable woman," WuFei returned with a smile. "Could you please go grab that box of books that I have been gathering for Duo? Before we both forget and let him leave without it."

"Sure," Sally quipped and headed towards the back of the store.

WuFei leaned in closer to his friend, his voice hushed until Sally was out of sight. "Quick, tell me about this lack of boredom you've experienced before she returns and concocts a conversation with the sole purpose of dropping hints that she wants a baby."

"A baby, really?" The American asked excitedly.

WuFei scowled at him.

"Right… well… Heero has been keeping me company. Or vice versa, since we spend most time at his place." He popped the rets of the bisquit into his mouth, it crunching audibly between his jaws as he chewed.

"So, you've been hanging out with Heero. Interesting." The bookstore-owner took a thoughtful sip of his tea. His eyes shone mischievously. "I think my wife owes me another ten bucks."

Duo coughed, sending crumbs flying. A swallow of tea cleared his throat. "The two of you need a hobby."

"Don't deflect. Tell me how things are between you and Heero?"

The American made a face. "Don't sound so excited. There is no 'me and Heero', certainly not in the way you're implying-"

"And hoping for," WuFei supplied.

Duo rolled his eyes. "It's nothing like that. The fact that I'm spending some time with Heero doesn't mean that you were right and it hardly means I am going to follow your advise and just 'be gay'. All it is is me… sowing my wild oats."

WuFei leaned back in his wheelchair, his expression was one of dismay.

"I'm getting it out of my system," He continued bravely despite the clear judgment in his friend's eyes. "Once Heero moves away – which he will – I can go back to the way things were."

"And what is that exactly?" WuFei grumbled.

"Peaceful. Uncomplicated and undisturbed," Was the instant reply. He had been giving the matter a fair amount of thought. After all, he had had many sleepless nights to kill since giving into his lust for the young neighbor. The only way he could alleviate his guilt and self-loathing for his weakness was by arguing it was merely a means to an end.

The Chinese man was obviously displeased, but Duo suspected his friend still harbored hope for things to turn out differently. Neither of them had the heart to argue with the other any more on the matter, not considering the rift the issue had already caused between them. The return of Sally was welcomed. She looked somewhat flustered carrying the undoubtedly heavy box filled with books to the front of the store.

"Next time you ask me to get something for you," She started, dumping the box at Duo's feet and then turning to face her husband, "You might want to tell me when you've moved it since I last saw it. I felt like an idiot looking for one particular box in that maze of identical boxes back there."

"I didn't move it."

She put her hands on her hips. "Oh, you're suggesting I moved it and just forgot about it?"

WuFei raised his hands in surrender but mumbled under his breath: "All I'm saying is that I didn't move it."

"Wanna bet?" Duo quipped, earning stares from both of them.

Sally joined them for tea and like WuFei had predicted she was quick to introduce a baby-related topic, cutting off her husband who was telling Duo about an old friend from highschool who came into the store that week to talk about a good friend of hers who recently announced her pregnancy.

Duo smiled inwardly at the antics of the couple. The two of them were so fiery and so oppositional, yet more in love than he had ever been witnessed to in any other marriage, even after ten years – seven years of dating, three years of wedded bliss. They could share a heated argument, call each other names, and still end up laughing; at each other and at themselves.

Sally continued to drop unsubtle hints and Duo had a hard time not laughing at his friend's dry responses, always emphasazing the pronouns – quite exaggeratedly – when he responded with the likes of: 'How wonderful for them', 'It sounds like she is really happy' and 'He must have been overjoyed at the news'.

He didn't know why WuFei was not enthused by the thought of having children, at least not anytime soon and he realized the reasons behind WuFei's reluctance may never be explained to him by the man himself. Even though they had been friends since high school and their friendship had strengthened going through the many ups and downs in their relationship as well as in their individual lives, most intimate and personal matters had always been left unsaid between them. It was only a relatively recent development that WuFei had been prying into his personal life so much, prompted by Sally, and he wasn't sure how he felt about that, much less about whether or not he should 'return the favor' and encourage – or push – WuFei to share more regarding his inner qualms. He doubted the Asian man would appreciate it. He had always been a strong, self-sufficient, alpha-male. If anything even more so since the accident that left him a paraplegic; like he had to compensate for the paralysis of his legs by being even stronger and stubborn mentally; like he had already reached the maximum amount of weakness he was comfortable with showing to the world.

The author lost himself in his thoughts to the background chatter of the married couple.

He couldn't help but wonder if he would ever have that kind of relationship. If he was ever even meant to have that kind of relationship. If he ever had been or would be deemed worthy of that kind of love, acceptance and trust. If there was anyone out there who would love him so wholly that all the differences between them would cease to matter and the only memorable thing about every quarrel, spat, argument or fight was the make-up sex afterwards.

After tea he took the heavy box of books with him. WuFei refused to receive payment for the collection.

His car pulled into the driveway and as he shifted into 'park' his eyes found Heero near his red truck, unloading supplies from the back. A smile forced it's way to his lips after originating God knows where.

Heero saw him – there was but a second of smoldering eye-contact – but pretended he hadn't. He grabbed the last of the equipment, kicking the hatch of the back of his truck shut and headed into the house, closing the front door behind him.

Duo struggled to get out of his seatbelt in a hurry and scampered to the front door, skipping the three steps leading up to his front porch, simply jumping right onto it. He waved absent-mindedly at Bryce, washing his car, his pride and joy, in the driveway, and he pushed inside. It was a short jog to the back of the house to unlock the kitchen door. He stepped back, leaning his hip against the dinner table and waited breathlessly. Five heartbeats later a shape appeared on the other side of the thin curtain, getting darker and more sharply defined as it approached. The door swung open and Heero paused.

"Hey."

"Hey." Goddamn that crooked grin that appeared on his face, Duo thought, trying to mold his expression into something more respectable, but it was hopeless. He felt giddy, though desperate to believe he didn't really.

The young man closed the distance, his heavy workboots clunking on the hardwood floors. He threw his body against Duo's, wrapping his arms around the taller man's neck and pushed up to merge their lips in a hungry kiss that blissfully lacked all conscious thought and was solely fuelled by wild abandon.

The American's big hands were gripping at Heero's sides as he returned the kiss fervently, breathing harshly through his nose like Heero was, for neither of them was willing to pull apart and pause for the sake of oxygen. With his tongue he ravished the other's mouth savagely. Their kisses had long moved past innocence, gentleness and uncertainty with them both recognizing the temporary nature of their involvement and helpless to fight the urge to get as much satisfaction from the other as possible without moving things forward obscenely fast. Passionate kisses were all Duo dared to indulge in for the time being, but he could sense the magnetic pull towards more and he could tell Heero was also increasingly eager to move the focus of their stimulation further south.

"I missed you," Duo heedlessly confessed against Heero's lips.

"I've only been away for two days," The exotic neighbor pointed out, pressing their mouths together again. With his rough hands he cupped Duo's face.

He moaned when he felt Heero thrust his hips against his. Then chuckled at the young man's mischievousness as his lower lip was gently but insistently being bitten on.

He liked the way he was with Heero. Because he wasn't himself around him. He allowed himself to let go of his concerns and the physical contact was more than apt at distracting him.

With his hands he gripped Heero's buttocks and lifted him up. He spun them around and seated Heero on the edge of the table, standing between his spread legs. All the while their mouths were still locked together, their tongues playfully sparring.

One of Heero's hands dropped to the small of Duo's back, urging him to come nearer while simultaneously scooting closer to the edge of the table to press their groins together.

The younger one of the two briefly paused the kiss to wisper hotly in the other's ear: "I want to take your shirt off."

That was new, Duo thought, but he realized he wasn't opposed to the idea, as he had previously been. And his temperature had sky-rocketed to a certain extent that it would probably be a relief to strip away some clothing. "Okay," He agreed hoarsely.

Instantly nimble fingers were at the hem of his long-sleeved shirt, pulling it up, course knuckles brushing along his torso, leaving a trail of goosebumps. The fabric was discarded, tossed over Duo's broad shoulders, and Heero sensually ran his hands down the exposed chest and abdomen, a hunger in his eyes as he sat back and observed the expanse of skin and the definition of muscle underneath. He leaned forward to place kisses along the older man's neck and jawline while the pads of his fingers explored and caressed.

Before long Duo found himself inching up the fabric of Heero's shirt and the young man quickly cooperated to rid himself of the article of clothing. His neighbor pressed their chests together, kissing his mouth anew.

He was painfully hard and embarrassingly close to coming in his pants. Before he would make a mess and make an utter fool of himself, he detached their lips to say: "Shit. We should stop."

"But you missed me," Heero mewled pathetically. "And I missed you."

"I know. I know," He whispered apologetically.

Heero groaned. "But-"

"Soon," He hurriedly promised, he couldn't stand the idea of his neighbor backing out of their deal because he wasn't quite ready to give him the kind of satisfaction that he sought. "But not yet. Not now."

The young neighbor sighed and buried his face in his hands and leaned his forehead against the author's chest.

"I'm sorry."

"It's fine," Heero assured, although the disappointment was evident in his deep, mumbled voice.

Duo stepped away and retrieved both their shirts from the kitchenfloor.

"Thanks," Said Heero gruffly, then got dressed with sharp movements. He jumped off the table and moved to the sink to splash some cool water on his face.

To fill the uncomfortable silence Duo wondered: "How was your trip?" Heero had been out of town for two days, driving up state to pick up equipment that his friend Trowa told him he could borrow.

"Good." Was the curt reply. He lifted the front of his shirt to dry his face.

"Are you going to have to drive all the way back there to give him the stuff back?" He continued dumbly.

"No, he's coming down here for a weekend in two weeks anyway to help with some stuff. He can take the equipment back home with him when he leaves." He turned around, leaning back against the counter. He stuffed his hands deep into the pockets of his cargo pants. His eyes were unreadable. Eventually, he announced: "I should get back to work."

"Do you need help with something?" The American was quick to offer. That is what it had been like for the past few weeks afterall; heated make-out sessions alternated by sweaty manual labor as Duo helped with odd chores during the ongoing renovation. He liked working on the house, or maybe he just liked being around Heero as much as he could, he wasn't sure, he just knew that he liked the way he felt stripping dated wallpaper and sanding doorways. Tasking himself with these chores left him without the focus to wallow, doubt or regret; the work was too loud and it was too hot.

"No, it's fine."

Duo frowned. He noticed Heero used that word – 'fine' – a lot lately but he never seemed to mean it in a high-spirited way. "Are you sure?" He pushed.

"No, really-"

"Heero, come on, you know I don't mind helping out."

"I actually just want to be alone for a bit," He snapped. The young man heaved a sigh and cast his gaze down to his dusted boots.

"Oh."

"Oh," He mirrored bitingly.

Another frown, one of dismay. "What are you so angry about? What have I done now?"

Heero glared at him, he removed his hands from his pockets to gesture angrily as he spoke. "I was going to go home, alone, to fucking jerk off, okay?"

Duo reeled back.

Heero continued. "Fuck! Why are we even doing this? Do I even affect you? Sure, you get a hard-on one minute, but the next you're like: 'let's tear down some drywall'. Meanwhile my knees are still fucking shaking! I don't like this! I don't like this at all!"

"Stop yelling at me! You knew what you were getting into when we started this."

"That's just it, I didn't!" Argued the Japanese man. "I still don't! I don't know what we are! We aren't fuckbuddies, because God knows we're not fucking,"

Duo cringed.

"But we're not dating either because we don't go on dates." He took a deep breath to calm himself. "Look, you want to take things slow, I understand that. But if we are taking things slow, then to me that means this isn't about sex. If it's not about sex I want it to be about something else. Afterall, there's no point in a friends-with-benefits situation if the situation is not beneficial."

"You want to date," The older man concluded.

Heero shrugged but from the shy look in his eyes it was clear that that was indeed what he wanted.

"But haven't we been sort of dating?" He proffered in defense. "We've been spending time together. We've been getting to know each other."

"Spackling walls and ordering take-out isn't dating," Heero stated, his tone of voice more amused than anything else.

Duo nodded slowly.

"I just think something like a dinner and a movie would be nice from time to time," He suggested timidly.

A dinner in a restaurant and a movie in a cinema, Duo acknowledged apprehensively. Out in public. "But I'm not… gay." He made a face at his own words.

Heero's jaw tensed and he was quiet for a while.

"When you leave," The religious man started to explain, "I intend to go back to my old life. If I'm seen doing date-like things with you, there will be no old life for me to get back to, everything will change."

He wasn't opposed to the suggestion because he had predicted he would feel like less of a creep if they would assume more normal relationship behavior, but since none of it was meant to last and the collective experience would be one of futility and one he would have to try to forget if he were to be able to live with himself afterwards, he didn't want to risk the stability of his life for the unstable relationship.

After a long, contemplative silence Heero spoke: "We could go somewhere out of town, where nobody will recognize us."

It seemed like an illadvised risk but Duo felt compelled to take it. He didn't want Heero to feel bad about and unsatisfied with what they were doing and even though the idea of going on a proper date with Heero was frightening there was a distinct fluttering of butterflies in his stomach that excited him and made him bold. "Okay," He agreed. He had expected Heero to react thrilled, but instead the younger man chewed the inside of his cheek and his expression was one of uneasiness and regret, like he had been gifted a dead bird.

However, the other finally concurred. "Okay."

"WuFei told me about this really big cinema a few towns over, stadium-seating and everything. It's only like a forty-minute drive. We could go there."

"Alright," Was Heero indifferent reply.

Duo resisted the urge to express his dismay at Heero's demeanor. He acknowledged that for an openly gay man like him it could not be easy to agree to all the rules and stipulations that limited and complicated their involvement, but in spite of his sympathy, the standoffish attitude irked him. "Cool. I'll make dinner reservations and after dinner we can go watch a movie. Is tomorrow good for you?"

Heero slowly perked up and with an endearing, coy smile he replied: "Tomorrow is good."

They nodded in unison and then a silence settled anew.

"I should probably get going." The younger one started towards the door.

"Yeah."

Standing in the door opening Heero turned around and informed Duo mischievously: "I'm still going to jerk off, you know?" With a smile he closed the door behind him.

The man was left with a dry mouth. He approached the door and pulled the curtain aside to watch Heero sneak back into his own backyard. The young man was proving to be quite the rollercoaster ride, but Duo was still enjoying the ride. He just hoped he wouldn't be sick afterwards; when Heero would move out of his life and leave him with his feet planted on solid ground again.

He went to his car to retrieve the box of books from the passenger seat. He would need an unhealthy dose of new literature to keep his mind from wandering. Although standing in the driveway, throwing inconspicuous looks at the house next door, he couldn't help but imagine what was going on there right now; if Heero hadn't just been messing with his head when he announced he was about to masturbate. Strategically holding the box in front of him to hide an embarrassing state of arousal, he kicked the passenger door shut and started towards his front door.

"Duo!"

Apparently a single shrill cry was all it took to take care of the situation in his pants. He turned around to face Relena who had come from across the street to stand in front of him.

"Duo, I was hoping I would run into you."

Run into me… spy on my house from your living room window and then chase me… what's the difference? Though the man bitterly.

"I feel really bad about the way things have been between us since the NA meeting."

"Narcotics Anonymous?" He joked.

She put her hands on her hips and pursed her lips. "That's not funny, Duo."

"Right, no, you're right. The Neighborhood Association meeting, sorry." With nothing left to hide he put down the heavy box.

She formed a smile. "Well, even though we have a difference of opinion regarding… that," She threw a look over her shoulder at the offensive "Stop Prop 8" sign still on display in Heero's front yard, "we are still neighbors, a comunity, which basically means we're family, don't you agree?"

Duo reluctantly nodded.

"I was really hoping you would join us for dinner tomorrow evening. It would mean so much to both Carlton and I."

He started digging into the gravel of his driveway with the toe of his boot. "I uh… I can't tomorrow."

"Why not?"

"I…" He struggled to come up with an appropriate excuse that didn't involve admitting to his set date with his neighbor.

"What could possibly be more important than mending 'family ties'?" She blinked her big, blue eyes sweetly.

Oh Lord. "I'm just… not free tomorrow evening."

"Duo," She whined, "What kind of vague, nonsense excuse is that?"

Since the entire neighborhood knew he was unemployed and didn't have any family or the kind of friends to go out with for a night on the town, the only, and least incriminating, thing he could come up with was: "I'm helping Heero with the renovations all day tomorrow."

The news clearly displeased her. "Honestly, I don't understand why you would want to spend any time with him, let alone help him."

"Well, Relena, he's our neighbor. That practically makes him family, right?" He grinned.

She sputtered something unintelligible. Then she molded her face into something more respectable and stated: "Fine. Consider him invited too. Can you tell him we will be expecting you both at dinner tomorrow, at seven? And please change out of your work-clothes first." She pivoted on her heels and promptly walked away.

"Wait… what?" Abort! Abort!

She spun around. "I suppose you are right, Duo. As long as he's here, we will just have to suffer him. If I can handle my green-party, hippy uncle at every wedding and birthday I'm sure I can handle a queer for one evening. I'm not going to let you or him make me the villain of the neighborhood." She stomped her small foot to emphasize her point. "I'll see you two at dinner tomorrow."

With slack jaw he watched her disappear into her house. "I… I… I…" He stammered patherically. He looked over and saw Bryce holding the garden hose aimlessly, his car still soaped-up. The man waved awkwardly and then thought to point the spray of water at the suds to wash them away.

He returned the gesture with a grimace, picked up the box at his feet and headed inside.

Not quite ready to confess to Heero that he had ruined their first date before it had even started, he rummaged through the contents of the box, heaving a sigh when he came across yet another copy of his own novel. He tossed it aside and picked one from the others at random. Tucked into his favorite seat he opened the rough pages and started to read.

He stepped into the shoes of the bold protagonist who had survived the second world war but became aware that people were spying on him, leading him on a chilling hunt to find out who was truly his friend and who was his foe as everyone seemed to want to manipulate him for their own purposes.

When his stomach startled to rumble several hours into the gripping tale he extracted himself from the soft cushions of the lounge chair and stalked over to the kitchen to make himself two peanut-butter and jelly sandwiches that – according to the time – would be his dinner. Before he would lose himself once more in WuFei's interesting recommendation, he figured he had to confront Heero first. Still chewing on his last bite of sandwhich he stepped into the back yard and slipped through the hedges in the back. Wiping the crumbs off his shirt he approached the back porch of the old house.

He knocked twice.

"Come in!"

The American pushed the door open and gingerly stepped inside the deconstructed kitchen.

Heero was on his knees on the dining room floor, poking a screwdriver at a professional sanding machine with which he had treated about half of the wooden surface before it apparently gave out on him. He blew his tousled bangs out of his face. "Hey," He greeted, then explained sheepishly: "Damn thing crapped out on me. I'm starting to think it knows I'm not it's master and it's acting out."

"Need some help?"

"No, it's okay, I got it working again last time. The dust keeps clogging it up, I think there's something wrong with the ventilation." He retracted the screw driver and then shook the machine. Dust pooled at his knees. "There ya go." He got up, not bothering to wipe his dirty pants and moved to plug the chord into the outlet. With a flick of a big red switch the beast came to life again with a whining cry. The young man smiled victoriously and then switched it off after the successful test. "What's up?"

"I have to talk to you," He started apologetically.

Heero sighed. "It's about tomorrow, isn't it?"

He nodded his head pitifully.

"You want to cancel."

"No," Duo reassured him, observing the crestfallen look. "I do not want to cancel. It's just… I got us in a bit of a pickle."

"What kind of a pickle?" He seemed more curious than upset.

"A really, really sour one." Taking a deep breath he decided to just spit it out. "We are invited for dinner at Relena's."

A hearty laugh erupted out of the Japanese man, but then he fell silent. "You're not kidding," He accurately observed.

"I'm afraid not."

He made a face. "That is sour." But then he laughed again. "How did you get us into that?"

With a scrunched up face Duo explained what happened in his driveway. He was relieved Heero was taking it so lightly.

"Man," He paused to chuckle and shake his head, "I am going to wear the gayest shirt I own. In fact, I might even head to the mall tomorrow and buy something expecially 'queer'."

"Oh, God, please don't."

"Come on Duo. I can show up dressed perfectly 'straight' and they are still going to judge me, might as well have fun with rainbow-prints."

"I'm surprised you are taking the news so well," Duo admitted, "I don't think this dinner is going to be particularly fun, especially for you. She's probably going to be catty to you all evening."

Heero shrugged. "It's fine. As long as I get a raincheck on our dinner." He moved closer seductively.

"Of course."

"Good." He placed a chaste peck on Duo's lips, then swatted his hand over the tall man's chest to wipe away the dust he had deposited there by leaning into him with his dirty clothes.

With a weight lifted from his shoulders the solitary man quietly returned to his home and to the seat in the corner by the bookcases. He picked up the book he had been reading and sank right back into the alternate universe. He couldn't put it down until he reached the climax of the story where it was revealed that the character he had been rooting for and identifying with had actually been imagining things as a result of the trauma he had suffered in his past and as it turned out his only enemy was his own twisted mind, which drove him to kill one of friends out of suspicion that the man was a threat to him.

He frowned at the cover as he let the plot twist sink in. Considering it was WuFei's pick, he wondered if he was supposed to glean a personal message from the written words. WuFei would argue that Duo, like the lead character, was his own worst enemy, denying himself close relationships out of fear and rejecting the earnesty of one relationship in particular because past experiences brainwashed him into believing nothing good could come from it. Ever since he had been pointed out the unintentional double entendre of his own literary work he had been particularly sensitive to the hidden meanings in other fictional titles and he couldn't help but feel WuFei was making another plea for him to change, through the words of a man neither had ever met.

Clever little meddler, Duo thought, but he discarded the book back into the box and carried it into his office. With a bitter grin he very much doubted the author intended for his labor of love to be used to encourage struggling individuals to accept their 'gayness'. He put the box down on the floor in a corner where it was instantly lost between the existing, permanent clutter. The prospect of his friend trying to persuade him to change his ways through seemingly unrelated fiction made the books completely unappealing to him. Maybe he was just imagining things, his own mind – and his mind alone – constructing the parallels, without any misguided intentions on WuFei's behalf involved, but he couldn't take any risks. He was stretching his faith in himself and in his life too much as it was. There was no more stretch left in the fabric of his existence, pull any harder and the threads would be undone and everything would be ripped apart. It was, after all, nothing but a delicate weave of the twin strands of faith and denial.

He relocated to upstairs and only then caught a glimpse of the time, three AM. Peeking out the bedroom window facing the house next door Duo noticed all the lights were off, in the neighborhood beyond as well. Not all that tired he took a languid shower first, letting the warm water calm his mind and soothe his body, tricking it into yearning for the warmth of the bed linen as soon as he turned the faucet and stepped onto the cold tile. He had managed to keep his hair mostly dry, so he patted himself down with the towel quickly and jumped into last night's nightwear that had been draped over the bathroom radiator, making it nice and warm to compensate for the fact that the bedsheets were chilled.

He blinked once. Twice. Three times. Then frowned. The bedroom was bathed in rich hues of orange, the sun was already rising, it was morning. He couldn't ever remember falling asleep so quickly and into such a dreamless sleep. He lingered in bed until his limbs felt well-rested and his back actually started to get stiff. His entire body stiffened up when he realized it was the day of 'the dinner'.

A groan escaped it. It would be a challenging day. It would be one of those days he would usually actively work to avoid.

It wasn't until he was hovering over a cup of steaming hot coffee that his mind really started to awaken and the nerves started to build. Had the prospect of just a date been daunting enough to him, he would also have to deal with the dinner with Relena and Carlton. He worried because he wasn't sure he could trust Heero to be as devoted to keeping their secret as he was and he wasva mere slip-of-the-tongue removed from watching everything fall into ruin. It was just a joke to Heero, after all, the younger man laughed at the ignorance and bigotry of others, unaffected by it's venomous nature simply because he had grown to become immune to it. Meanwhile Duo had everything to fear and if his reputation as a God-fearing man would be sullied he would not be left with many options other than moving away – leaving behind the beloved house that had been his turtle-shell for many years – and starting anew, away from judgment and preconceived notions. It wasn't so much that he feared the hate of others, he was more bothered by the fact that once people would be aware of the issues he was struggling with they would assume things about him; who he was and how he was supposed to behave. To him that was a dangerous gateway to walking the false path of unethical desires. The neighbors were guards to his behavior, their watchful eye helped prevent him from wholly giving into his lust. They were his yardstick to asses what would be considered crossing the line and what was still acceptable. With no one else making sure he didn't stray from the straight and narrow he couldn't afford to lose that.

The concerns that clouded his thought all day caused him worry that he wouldn't be able to eat a single bite at dinner as they created a nauseating pressure in his stomach.

He spent the day reading bits and pieces of the one book that he felt posed no threat to him: the Bible.

Of course time went by far too quickly and the 'relaxing bath' he decided to take failed to live up to the expectations. He got out of the tub after onty fifteen minutes of poking at suds. He got dressed in grey slacks and a black turtleneck as planned, but with some time left he returned to the only truly comfortable seat in the house to read a few more passages. If they failed to put him at ease than at least they would help keep things in perspective for him. Regardless of how taken he was with Heero, especially the physicality that the attractive young man provided him, he couldn't lose his focus on what was truly important; his religion. So even though Heero might accompany him to dinner looking absolutely breathtaking – as he was sure he would, in spite of the teasing remarks about 'rainbow shirts' – he couldn't afford to steal lingering glances or get distracted by the creamy smooth quality of the young man's surprisingly deep, enigmatic voice.

He had already decided that once Heero had moved out of the neighborhood, his lust would again be inferior to his devotion to his faith. It was the only way he knew how to live. Which explained his uncertainty and discomfort until that time came, he was a fish out of water. He had never properly dated, he had never given into impulsive urges, he had never experienced such a physical attraction to another person, much less acted on it. Hilde had been his high school sweetheart only in the sense that as captain of the football team and head cheerleader they were supposed to date and he didn't feel utterly uncomfortable around her. The only reason they got married was to fulfill the wishes of their parents – his mostly. Romance, love, attraction… one even less important than the other. Morals, values and standards formed the mold within which the marriage had to fit, everything else was redundant. It certainly wasn't taken into consideration what Duo or Hilde thought of the matter, their perspectives on the situation were dismissed as one of the redundant aspects. What mattered was what the priest had to say. What mattered was what God had to say, in another one of his father's dreams. Hilde was supposed to be the medicine to cure him of his affection for Anthony. But things didn't turn out as planned, as they hardly ever did, and no one really benefited from the situation the way they were supposed to.

He violently jolted out of his seat at the sound of the chime of the doorbell. The Bible fell to the hardwood floor with a sickening thud, mirroring the brick dropping in Duo's stomach. He retrieved the book from the floor, caressed the spine as if to soothe away a pain and then ceremoniously placed it on top of all the other books stacked up on the end table. With large strides he moved into the hallway to open the front door.

Heero was as much a vision as he feared. Mercilessly dressed in a wonderfully fitted pair of black slacks, a black button-up shirt and with a mocking pink bowtie around his neck the shorter man looked up at him with a mirthful glint in his eyes, holding a bouquet of pink roses.

"Are those for me?" The man anxiously joked.

"No, for Relena."

He nodded slowly, his eyes glued to the bowtie. "Nice… pink…" He stammered.

Heero tilted his head and smiled. "I hoped you would like it. I went to the mall today to get it."

"They were fresh out of rainbow shirts, huh?" Duo commented, pocketing his keys and stepping out onto the porch, closing the front door behind him.

"I figured this was more whimsical."

"She won't like it."

"Maybe she will," He quipped, following him across the street. "She seems to like the color pink."

"On herself, not on a man."

Heero let out a little gasp. "But Duo, I'm not a man, I'm a queer," He jested, but his companion was too nervous to be amused.

Reluctantly he reached out to ring the doorbell, but the door opened before his finger was halfway there.

Relena – in a white dress with frilly pink apron – opened the door with a carefully rehearsed smile and greeting, but Duo noticed her eyes instantly zeroing in on the pink bowtie, sharply contrasting with Heero's otherwise black attire. Her smile faltered, if briefly. "Come in! Come in!" She urged, stepping aside to give them a wide berth, Heero especially. She practically recoiled when the exotic young man reached out to her to thank her for inviting him and to hand her the throughtful present.

"Thank you, they are beautiful," She remarked mildly. She escorted them further into the house. The dinner table was already set, elegantly.

Carlton walked up to them and enthusiastically shook both their hands.

Standing right next to Heero as they were being welcomed made Duo feel more awkward than he had anticipated, it felt like how he imagined a double date would feel, two couples getting together. They should have arrived separately, he realized, although that may have seemed all the more silly.

"I hope you like Cornish hens," Relena said, walking past them into the kitchen. She practically dumped the bouquet of roses on the counter in a corner and didn't look at them again for the rest of the evening, much less bother to put them in a vase with water. It was clear the flowers were destined for the trashcan as she probably couldn't stand to display them in her house and look at them for as long as they would last.

Heero seemed unaffected by the hostess' blatant rejection of his kind gesture and he listened to Carlton who recounted the time they played wheelchair-basketball together, even going as far as acting out a remarkable shot Heero had made.

Duo couldn't understand how Heero could stand it, being treated like that, being considered as less worthy, invited only to prove a point, not because he was actually welcome.

"Would you like something to drink?" Relena interrupted the chatter. "Scotch, brandy?" She fixed her gaze on Heero and with a practiced smile he offered: "Cosmopolitan?"

"I'd like a beer, if it's all the same to you," Heero replied smoothly.

"Me too, please."

"Make that three, babe," Carlton added.

Relena made a face at her husband. "It's not a very refined drink to have before dinner." But she turned around and moments later returned with a tray with three glasses of beer.

The guests were instructed to take a seat in the living room while the hostess finished preparing the first course in the kitchen. Heero politely offered to help, but Relena ignored him.

"Sorry," Carlton whispered once his lovely wife was out of earshot.

Heero shook his head. "It doesn't affect me."

Duo took a big drink from his glass.

Twenty minutes later they were invited to take a seat at the dinner table. Carlton and Relena sat on either end of the long table, leaving the guests to take a seat across from each other. The hostess served a three course meal consisting of a fresh salad, Cornish hens, steamed vegetables and Hasselback potatoes and as dessert a 'raspberry marzipan tart' that was altogether far too sweet for Duo's liking.

The few words that were spoken were mere niceties regarding the meal, unoriginal and repetitive in nature in their struggle to fill the uneasy silence. Most Relena did was proudly accept the compliments, until suddenly she addressed Heero, like a missile locking in on it's target.

"How is the renovation going?"

Heero was clearly surprised to be talked to and struggled to swallow the bite of food. He wiped his mouth with his napkin before replying: "Very good, thank you."

"It must be very difficult for someone like you, all that manual labor," She continued sweetly.

"Someone like me?" Heero chuckled. "A democrat?"

She cocked her head. "You know what I mean."

"I'm not sure. I've been renovating homes for years now, I'm quite skilled at it. So it's actually not difficult at all for someone like me; a renovator."

Duo realized he was toying with her as much as she was toying with him. Relena had been expecting a game of cat and mouse, only to be faced with another cat.

"I just can't imagine you getting much work done with a sign like yours in your front yard. Is it a challenge to find professionals willing to work for you? Is that why you do everything by yourself?"

"It's not a challenge at all, ma'am," Heero replied.

Duo coughed into his napkin to hide the chuckle that escaped him at seeing Relena's eyebrow twitch at being called 'ma'am'.

"People have been very kind and welcoming to me, much like yourself." He took an innocent sip from his second glass of beer. "In fact, after a day's work the roofing crew gladly stuck around for a cold one."

"They weren't uncomfortable around you?" She took a delicate bite of her dessert.

"Not in the least. In fact, one of them asked me where I got the sign, he wanted to speak out against the proposition as well."

She quirked an eyebrow. "So he was gay?"

"No ma'am. Happily married – to a woman – with three beautiful children. He showed me the pictures."

She smiled. "Well, that's the way a marriage is a supposed to be, between a man and a woman. He ought to have known that."

"I've always thought the most important thing in a marriage to be love, not gender. Marriage is supposed to be between two people who love each other, nothing else matters. He thought the same thing. He was met with a lot of judgment when he, as an African American, asked a Caucasian woman for her hand in marriage."

"That's different."

"How so?" He wondered neutrally.

"Just because people are of a different race doesn't mean that they can't get married. It used to be that way, but that was just an antiquated way of thinking. Man and woman of a different race getting married is different from two men getting married, because they can share a true, romantic love. It cannot be like that between two men or two women. God does not condone it and therefore their love is not true and it should certainly not be given the same status as the love between a man and a woman by allowing queers to get married like us."

Duo cleared his throat. "Maybe we should talk about something else?"

Carlton nodded. "I agree."

But Relena continued: "I don't care that you lust after other men, that is your problem, it doesn't bother me. I am not going to Hell because you behave ungodly. But what I do not want is for someone like you to do the things you do and to broadcast the things you do in my neighborhood and then have the audacity to claim you have the same rights to get married as normal people do. Marriage is by origin a religious institution, God does not approve of your lifestyle, why would he want it to be honored through a ceremony as sacred as a wedding? The kind of relationships you have are not worthy-"

"Relena, please," Duo tried, even though Heero still seemed unfazed.

"No, Duo, don't interrupt me. You know what I'm saying is true, you are a man of faith yourself. Their kind shamelessly flaunts their Godless, oversexualized culture and they are fooling themselves if they think it is worth all the trouble they are going through for their rights to get married, because we all know they know no loyalty. They don't really want marriage, they want anonymous sex in dark alleys and the right to call their one-night-stands their husbands." She pointed an upset finger at Heero. "You want to live like that and burn in Hell? Fine, but don't expect me to support your attempt to sully the sanctity of marriage." She finished her glass of wine.

Heero didn't say anything, he quickly ate his dessert. It would have been easy to raise the issue of Carlton's many infedelities – everyone on the street new about it, even Relena herself - and rub in her face that her own, heterosexual marriage, also sullies the sanctity of marriage. But he didn't, he accepted the abuse and made himself a mouse so she could feel safe as the cat.

And maybe, maybe Relena noticed it too, that he let the easy jab slide. After a long, tense silence, Relena wondered politely: "Would anybody like seconds? There is plenty of Raspberry Marzipan tart left."

"No, thank you," Said the three men in unison.

They were invited to join the couple for after-dinner drinks, extending the invitation was only the polite thing to do, but both Relena and Carlton were visibly relieved when Duo denied the offer and Heero seconded that. Following brief, stiff goodbyes, the two were outside again.

The American took a deep breath. He stuffed his hands into his pockets and started towards his home. He heard Heero's footfalls behind him. "Well… that was fun," He tried with a grimace. He glanced over his shoulder at Heero, in time to see him shrug.

"It wasn't that bad."

"Not that bad? Did you hear what she said?" He paused at his driveway.

"Of course I did, she has excellent anunciation," Heero joked dismissively.

"It doesn't bother you that she said you are going to Hell?" Duo's skin was crawling after the uncomfortable dinner that, if anything, reminded him of the risk he was taking with Heero.

"Since I don't believe in Hell, it's not much of a threat. It's like my aunt telling me my 'peepee' will fall off if I rub it. Or when my dad used to tell me I wouldn't get any gifts from Santa if I didn't keep my room straight."

Duo scoffed. "You are comparing my faith to Santa Claus?"

"All I'm saying is that that kind of stuff is only scary if you believe in it. If you don't believe, it's actually kind of funny."

The American shook his head and started towards his front porch. "I don't find any of this funny. I happen to be one of the believers that you find so amusing." He heard Heero follow him.

"I didn't mean that I'm laughing at you. I respect your faith. I don't really understand it, but…" He tried sheepishly.

Duo paused by the door. He recognized that if he would allow that to be the end of the night, come morning he wouldn't be able to bring himself to face Heero anymore. He didn't want it to end in yet another disagreement, another discussion. They had already acknowledged their differences and accepted the limitations of their arrangement, he didn't want to keep repeating that process of second-guessing and disappointment; as if they didn't know what they were getting themselves into. He wanted to enjoy the time he would have with Heero, after all, he had decided the experience would have to last him a lifetime, or atleast another two decades. It was boring and unsatisfying to keep circling back to the same state, for both of them, he imagined.

They had to get back on the horse. He hated that expression, it sounded so outdated, it made him feel old, but it was true.

With a sigh he turned around. "So, we had dinner… what about that movie?"

Even in the shadows of the clouded night Duo could tell the younger man's face lit up. "You still want to go to the theater?"

He shrugged. "I don't feel like driving all the way out of town. I'm sure I have some DVD's tucked away someplace."

A grin tugged at Heero's lips. He stepped onto the porch, ready to follow him inside.

Duo shook his head, cautiously looking around the neighborhood. "Go to your place first and come around back."

The Asian male stepped back, he seemed deflated but he agreed to the terms. He offered a halfhearted wave goodbye for show – no doubt someone was peeking from behind the curtains – and he walked to the front door of the old house while Duo disappeared inside.

With hurried steps he crossed through his house to the kitchen in the back, closing blinds along the way. After taking a final deep breath he unlocked the kitchen door and waited for Heero with sweaty palms. He knew what his invitation to watch a movie in the privacy of his house implied. He wasn't sure if that had been his intention, but as the full realization dawned on him it was calm acceptance rather than panicked denial that became him. Maybe it was time for them to take the next physical step. It honestly didn't make much sense to take things slow, the more he considered it. It wasn't a relationship after all and it would be easier to focus on the physical aspect of the interaction than the emotional one. Heero had made it abundantly clear that he was aching for the next move and as Duo waited he contemplated if he should allow Heero to make that next move, rather than stop him midway, as he always had.

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><p><strong>Oh God, this chapter was my Everest, without oxygen… and naked. <strong>

**Out of breath and frostbitten I will seek comfort in the smut that is the next chapter for "Thousand Words". That I will start writing right…. NOW.**


	11. Chapter 11

**Daydreamer79: Thank you for reading my story and for taking the time to leave a comment. I'm happy to read you are enjoying the chapters so far and I hope not to disappoint you.**

**CircleKV12: I'm evil and I know it (and more evil than you know. You'll see). Thanks for reviewing again and for defending Heero's honor :P If you like "Thousand Words" you might like to take a look at fanart that was recently made for that story by CaseyCuervo. Notes at the bottom will let you know how/where to find it. I hope you'll give it a look. It's an illustration of a lemon scene (THE lemon scene, for that story so far), so be warned.**

**Ryoko Lamperouge: Thanks, I'm glad :) I hope you liked the update for "Thousand Words". Fellow author CaseyCuervo made fanart for chapter twelve of "Thousand Words", you might be interested (it's lemon though, be prepared). Notes at the bottom will inform you where you can find the artwork. **

**CaseyCuervo: *kicks Relena while she is down* Thanks Batman! **

**AutumnDoll88: Aww, thank you, that is so nice of you to say. You are totally spot on when it comes to Duo, but he needs more time to figure things out. I hope you'll continue to read and enjoy the chapter. Thanks for letting me know you're still on board, I hope the crazy in your life has dialed down a little.**

**ShenLong1: Thanks for the support. Thanks so much for still reading this story and sharing your thoughts with me, it means a lot.**

**ToXicStArCaNdy: Heero totally deserves better, but he is going to have to wait for it. Thanks for reading and reviewing :)**

**Maeve Mauvais: Kudos on the delayed gratification! :P I hope your research paper turned out well. Thanks for still reading this story and taking the time to review. Check out the notes at the bottom of this story, someone made (hot and steamy) fanart for "Thousand Words" that you might be interested in :P**

**Belladonna Goddess Chloe: Nope, heads are still firmly up their own asses :S Haha, thanks for reading and reviewing.**

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><p><strong>Author's Note: <strong>

**Thanks for being patient and awesome you guys!**

**Another challenging chapter. I'm not too happy with it, but I acknowledge and accept that it is the best I can do with it. Trying to convey Duo's struggle (and Heero's on top of that) is really difficult, as you might imagine, and I fear I might have underestimated how difficult that is to neatly deal with in a story, so it's a bit of an uphill battle to find a flow to Duo's inner monologue, kind of hard since he is having a back and forth battle with himself. The theme of this chapter is similar to the previous two chapters, so you might feel like I'm repeating myself, but the little changes that sneak in there are key, because I feel that is the most realistic approach to Duo's 'transformation', if you will.**

**I hope that I've managed to deliver an enjoyable chapter. **

**It was fun writing a number of other GW characters into this chapter, be warned though, they are OOC, I make no excuses and no apologies, they are what I need them to be for this story. I figured having them in the story in whatever capacity would be more fun than just making up a couple of random names. To prevent any confusion: Milliardo, as he appears in this story, is not related in any way to Relena.**

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><p><strong>WARNING: This chapter contains sexual content. I'm sorry if this offends anyone, this is not my intention. If you feel the content of this chapter is in violation of the FF guidelines and this bothers you, just let me know and I will change the content according. Please forgive me, I know not what I do.<strong>

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><p><strong>Love Thy Neighbor<strong>

**Chapter Ten**

It took him longer than usual. Duo started to doubt if Heero would appear at his kitchen door at all. Had he changed his mind? What had he said to him to have changed his mind?

Fear gripped at him; an uncomfortable, nervous, jittery feeling in his chest. But he didn't know what he was afraid of. He was afraid of many things, but what was frightening about Heero not showing up? It would mean it was over, it would mean the door was closed. And he could forget about him. He could sink back into his old, safe life. He wouldn't have to be afraid anymore of God's wrath, nor the neighbor's rumors. It would be a relief, would it not? He wasn't strong enough to stop it himself – as he had to admit shamefully – it would be best if Heero ended it. It would be doing them both a kindness.

Right?

It didn't feel like a kindness, standing there, feeling cold because his body shuddered and shivered for whatever reason, aware of his heartbeat that felt like a skittish gazelle leaping back and forth across the savannah, not knowing where to flee because it couldn't see, hear, or smell where the danger was coming from.

When the door ripped open, all of it vanished. Even though Heero's eyes were stormy, the American felt a sudden calm. The realization would haunt and torment him later, once he was alone with his self-destructive thoughts again, that he was afraid of losing the young man. That was a rather wry conclusion, considering it was the inevitable outcome of the situation.

It wasn't simple. It wasn't about kissing. It wasn't about sex. It wasn't about dinners, DVD's, tearing down drywall or pink bowties.

What it was about, he wasn't sure – or maybe he was and he was just in denial – that's the problem with things that aren't simple.

"Hey," He choked pathetically.

Heero didn't return the meek greeting. The younger man stormed forward, throwing himself against his neighbor's taller frame and insisted on a passionate kiss. He had about him an urgency like it was a life or death situation, like he had stood at the other side of that kitchen door thinking the same disconcerting things as Duo; that they were woefully in over their heads but powerless to do anything about it.

Duo encircled the narrow waist tightly with his arm, pressing the lithe figure against him, raising him slightly off the floor.

Heero's fingers desperately clawed at Duo's hair and the kiss became erratic and unfocused, like he couldn't decide on how he wanted to kiss him; he wanted it all and he wanted it all at once.

He turned them around, setting Heero down on the kitchen table.

The Asian man asked coyly: "So which movie did you have in mind?"

Duo let out an abrupt, hearty laugh and continued to kiss the young man.

"Excellent choice," Heero moaned agreeably.

Lost to his senses and desires Duo started work on unbuttoning Heero's shirt. He ripped the pink bowtie from his neck and tossed it aside.

"Hey, I happened to like that," He argued with a smirk. It was clear he enjoyed Duo's ardor and reciprocated gratefully. He helped Duo out of his shirt, running his hands over the exposed skin, tracing the soft lines of muscles with his callous fingers.

The older man gripped at Heero's sides, appreciating his tight, compact body. He pulled him a little closer to the edge of the table; a little closer to him. He started rocking his hips slightly, his lips went slack as he was distracted by the gratifying friction. Heero chuckled low in his throat, continuing to kiss Duo's open mouth. Slowly he regained the coherency of mind to multi-task and while moving his pelvis against Heero's he succeeded in maintaining their liplock; his tongue teasing Heero's.

The young man wasn't laughing anymore, instead he was panting through his nose and moaning into the hot mouth against his. He planted one hand behind him on the surface of the table to give him some leverage so he, too, could move his hips, aiding to the intensity of the contact.

He was ready, Duo realized. More than ready. Hot on the heels of that realization was the awareness that if they didn't move forward soon it would be over before they progressed beyond dry-humping. Not quite knowing how to communicate this embarrassing predicament, all he could was mumble against the soft lips: "I don't have a condom."

Those lips smirked. They drew away, leaving a trail of hot kisses along his jaw and up to his ear. The point of Heero's tongue traced the outline of the sensitive shell and then he whispered breathily: "You're not going to fuck me. Not yet."

Duo groaned at the vulgar but exciting choice of words. "Not yet?" He wondered.

"Fucking is more a third date type of thing."

"And this was?"

"At best? The first. Worst? We're still at zero."

"What does date zero get me?" The American wondered hungrily. He got his answer in the form of deft fingers slipping into the front of his slacks and into his underwear. The hand wasted no time to wrap around his erect manhood. Following a shuddering moan he commented: "That's quite generous."

"It's not entirely selfless."

Thinking he was given a veiled instruction Duo brought one of his hands between their bodies and placed it uncertainly over the bulge between Heero's legs. He moaned at the hard, hot feel of it and he grew more bold, but Heero whispered in his ear: "Not yet." He didn't understand, but he followed Heero's instructions. The young man was, after all, the only one of the two of them who knew what he was doing. The hand started moving up and down his length persistently, the grip was tight and satisfying. It would be over quickly, Duo recognized and warned Heero as much.

"That's fine. That's okay."

Trusting Heero's understanding to be genuine Duo felt safe and he let his climax overwhelm him, rather than fight it off in vain. He rode the wave of his orgasm with trembling legs, burying his face in the crook of Heero's neck, biting softly on his flesh. He responded when he felt the other grab the base of his braid and pull his head up to lock their mouths together in another searing kiss.

Heero took his hand out of Duo's pants and wiped it on his thigh, leaving milky stains on the black fabric.

"What about you?"

He smirked slyly and without a word he lay back on the dinner table. His fingers started at his chest but swiftly worked their way down to his belt and nimbly undid the buckle, then popped the button, then lowered the zipper.

In anticipation Duo put his hands on Heero's thighs on either side of him, kneading the strong muscles.

Heero pushed his pants and underwear down just enough to expose himself. While looking up at Duo lustfully he started pleasuring himself. He maintained eye-contact for as long as he could, but then he had to close his eyes and he threw his head back. He knew just how to touch himself, he wasn't ashamed about giving himself pleasure and he seemed to enjoy putting up a show.

Duo watched as the exotic man's other hand disappeared deep inside his underwear. He could feel the hand between them as he had kept his groin pressed against Heero, standing between his spread legs. He couldn't see anything but, in spite of his inexperience, he could imagine what Heero was doing to himself with his fingers so far between his legs. He pressed his hips forward more strongly, pushing against the back of that hand.

Heero gasped and looked up at his mischievously.

He continued making small thrusts, basically helping Heero fuck himself with his fingers. Heero's right hand moved up and down his swollen length rapidly, the muscles in his abdomen constricted as the younger man approached his completion.

With a sudden, shrill cry it was over. His entire body tensed. He pushed his head up from the table and looked at Duo with narrowed, passionate eyes. Droplets of his semen landed on his abdomen, chest and even a little on his neck.

The older man stared in awe. He had never seen another man orgasm - it had never gotten that far between him and Anthony - it was a powerful experience. He wanted more of it. He wanted to see it again and again; the pleasure on Heero's face, the tension in his body.

Heero panted harshly through his open, smiling mouth. He rested his head back and stared up at the light fixture above him. "Ohhh, wow."

"Wow?"

"Wow," Heero repeated.

"Yeah?"

He chuckled and nodded fervently. "Yeah."

Duo couldn't fight the self-satisfied smirk at having done okay during his first sexual experience in longer than he cared to admit. He liked that he didn't feel self-conscious in the aftermath due to his quick orgasm. Heero made him feel like any man – regardless of sexual prowess – would shoot his load prematurely, like that was just the kind of effect he had on his partners. There was probably a good portion of truth to that.

With shaky legs he moved over to the sink and soaked a towel with warm water, wringed it out and handed it to Heero who had sat back up.

"Thanks." He cleaned his chest and his hands. "So what about me?"

Duo frowned. "What about you?"

"How did I do? It has been so long for you, you must have had great expectations. I hope I didn't disappoint." Heero's face displayed a mixture of endearing uncertainty and the smug mischievousness he tried to camouflage it with.

Duo chuckled and kissed the younger man on his forehead.

"Did you really want to fuck me?" The younger one asked bluntly.

"Well, like you said, it's more a third date type of thing."

Heero looked up at him with vulnerable eyes. "I'm seriously asking, Duo. Did you really want to fuck me, or, now that the moment is gone, have you changed your mind?"

Duo paused. He wanted to give Heero an honest answer, he deserved it, so that meant he had to take his time to evaluate how he truly felt. "I did really want to… have sex with you," He assured. "I still do."

A little smile tugged at Heero's lips. "That's good."

He wondered why Heero suddenly introduced the third-date-clause, he had seen eager enough to 'go all the way' before, but he decided not to overthink it. He kissed those lips, all the more irresistible when they smiled. "So how about tomorrow?"

"For what?"

"Our second date."

Heero scoffed. "Our first."

"Alright… Alright…"

When Heero left, Duo had to stop himself from asking his neighbor to stay. He didn't know for what purpose, in hindsight he realized it was for the best that the night went the way it did – and not any further – but he liked the young man being there. Maybe he should have suggested to watch a movie anyway? No, that seemed so pathetically desperate. With the moment gone he knew the same insecurities would reach for his throat, if he allowed himself to think about things too much, so he took a hurried shower and hid in his bed. Sleep came quickly, but it was no kindness. In his dream he watched Heero, in a pink apron, welcome Relena and Carlton into the house, accepting a bouquet of pink flowers graciously. Relena complimented them both on 'what they had done with the place' and he was overwhelmed by a sick realization that he and Heero were living in Hell, together and Relena and Carlton were visiting. The odd dream continued with jokes about the heat and the oven-baked potatoes that were served – 'the furnace of Hell'.

He slept through the night but when he woke up he felt the urge to shower again. But as he scrubbed until his skin was red and raw, he was only kidding himself. He would never feel clean.

He changed the sweat-soaked sheets and opened all the windows, it felt hot and suffocating inside the house.

"It's only for a little while," He promised the faceless, voiceless presence that he always felt. He could feel disproval all around him, it transported him back to his youth, to his parents' house. Sometimes he swore he could still feel the sting of his father's leather belt across his back. His father was not a violent man, he didn't think he ever enjoyed beating his son, but he saw it as a necessity, he believed it would save him. He always told Duo, almost apologetically, that while the youth may think his father was being hard on him, God was the one who would be merciless and he asserted that one day Duo would thank him for beating the bad out of him, before he would meet his maker. Apparently it didn't work, the very first glance at Heero had triggered those old, shameful thoughts and desires. "It's only for a little while!" He repeated.

God would forgive him this one period of sin. Once Heero was gone he would denounce this lifestyle – this despicable weakness – and God would love him again. That's the thing his dad never told him about God. Yes, God was the one who would be merciless if one died a sinner, but God was also the one who would forgive his children for their mistakes. Duo's father never could. He could never forgive his own son for tarnishing their family the way he had. Luckily, for the old man, abhorring the son who covets another man the way a man is supposed to covet a woman, is not a sin. Duo still intended to meet him in Heaven one day, he may not have lived his life as righteously as his father, had, but he would do the right thing in the end. He would make his father, his mother and his God proud.

Just not right now.

He coordinated with Heero to meet at a restaurant a few towns over. Heero pretended not to be upset by the fact that Duo would only agree to a date at a restaurant an hour's drive away from home and Duo pretended not to notice the younger man was upset. That was the delicate balance of their relationship – or, whatever it was.

Twenty minutes after he had observed Heero getting his truck and driving off – wearing his usual attire of cut-off jeans and a T-shirt, but bringing a change of clothes with him a duffle bag – he got out of his house and into his car. He checked his own reflection in the rear-view-mirror constantly. Nervous eyes looked back at him. He wasn't nervous for the reasons he should be, he wasn't worried about disappointing God, he was jittery about the date, the first one in… forever, it seemed. It had been so long for him, he wondered if the ritual had changed, if different things were expected of him nowadays. On top of that he didn't know the customs regarding dating another man. Was he supposed to hold the door open for him? Was he supposed to pull out his chair? Was he supposed to pay? Those seemed like the appropriate things to do, but he worried his date might be offended if he started treating him like a lady. He definitely wasn't a lady.

Pulling up into the parking lot he spotted the dingy old truck, Heero was sitting on the tail end, waiting for him. He parked his car in the free space next to the truck and climbed out, anxiously straightening his clothes. He fretted that he shouldn't have worn a suit with a tie, upon seeing Heero in black jeans and the blue button-up shirt that he had seen him wear before, which matched his eye-color handsomely.

"I feel overdressed," Duo said as a way of greeting, looking down at his grey suit.

"You are," Heero agreed with a non-judgmental smile. "This isn't really that kind of place."

"I didn't know."

He quirked a bemused eyebrow. "You picked the restaurant."

"I know, but I've never been here before." He shifted his weight from one foot to the other, cursing his formal shoes. His face was red hot.

His date chuckled warmly and approached him. "Here, you can take this off," He said softly and worked to undo the black tie around the older man's neck and popped the top three buttons of the shirt.

The tall American stiffly allowed it.

"You can take off your jacket too."

He shook his head. "No. No." He looked at the ground, embarrassed he confessed quietly: "I'm sweating. It'll show."

"Alright. I'll wear this then," He swiftly tied the slim black ribbon of fabric around his neck and he tucked his shirt into his pants, tidying up his appearance. "There, in the low lighting my pants will look like black slacks anyway. We will be equally, inappropriately fancy."

"Thanks," Whispered Duo, Heero's casual attitude made him feel more at ease. "I'm such an idiot. I totally forgot to say how nice you looked."

"Don't I still look nice?"

"Yes, of course!"

He smirked and leaned in slightly. "Then tell me now."

"You look really nice…" He breathed. He reached out and fumbled with the end of the black tie, then he twisted it around his fist and pulled Heero closer so he could kiss him. "Are you hungry?"

The young man licked his lips. "Starving."

"Let's head inside then."

They walked over to the entry and Duo held the door open for Heero. Inside, he noted that he was indeed terribly overdressed. It was just a casual seafood restaurant, people wore jeans and plastic bibs with a lobster on it. He felt silly about suggesting the place, obviously it wasn't the proper kind of venue for a first date. "I'm sorry about this," He mumbled under his breath after a disinterested waiter pointed them to a table for two right by the big aquarium in the center of the space.

"Why? I love seafood."

Duo earned himself an odd look when he pulled a chair out for Heero. Sheepishly he remarked as he took his own seat: "I probably shouldn't have done that."

"Probably," Heero concurred with a little smirk. "But I liked it."

They ordered a seafood-platter for two and laughed as they tied the plastic with the image of a big red lobster around their neck. Duo made faces at his dinner as he had to snap and crack the hard outer shell of the crablegs he was trying to consume. At least after putting in the effort he realized the taste was worth it. As he chewed contently he observed the tropical fish in the tank and let his eyes trail the walls to take in the scenery, cringing at the decorative plastic fishes and randomly strung up fishing nets. The ceiling was painted with a distorted image of a blue sky with white clouds and a bright yellow sun, partially obstructed by a rusted rowing boat suspended from the ceiling, making him realize it was supposed to seem like they were underwater. He rolled his eyes at the clichéd décor.

They discussed the renovation of the house as it was the easiest, least laden, topic. When there really wasn't anything more to say about the fixtures and the colored tiles for the downstairs bathroom, Duo inquired about his previous projects and that bought him another half hour of not having to worry about the conversation getting personal. He was, admittedly, somewhat relieved that to the casual observer they were nothing more than friends, sharing a meal and a friendly conversation. He was suddenly grateful for the unexpected, unromantic atmosphere of the restaurant as he had probably underestimated how difficult it would have been for him if people, even though they were strangers, were to know that he was sexually interested in someone of the same gender.

After they had ordered their dessert the dreaded switch in the conversation occurred.

"Look," Heero started mildly, "I've let you interrogate me about my projects because I get that you are nervous and keeping the conversation superficial probably helped make this easier for you. But if I have to talk about polyurethane foam and granite countertops for even one more second I'm going to hang myself with your tie." He let out a single chuckle but then his face blanched as realization hit him. "Shit. Shit. Duo, I'm so sorry. I wasn't thinking."

He swallowed the lump in his throat and took a sip of wine to calm his mind that had started racing following the seemingly innocent joke. "It's fine."

"No, it's not." He was genuinely concerned and horrified. "I'm so sorry. That was so insensitive."

"Look, it's fine. You forgot. I wish I could too."

The arrival of their dessert interrupted the tense moment. Duo dug into his cake, he could feel Heero kept looking up at him uncertainly.

After a while the Asian man started: "So, I'm going to add another layer of mineral wool insulation under the roof, to keep the attic cool on warmer days. And I'm thinking about having two skylights put in, for some fresh air. I think then it can be a usable room. The property value really goes up when you can list an 'atelier', or something like that. This couple bought my previous house for asking price without batting an eye after I showed them the basement, which I had converted into a home theater. People really go nuts over that sort of stuff nowadays."

Duo looked up from his chocolate cake and smiled at Heero's nervous rambling. "How's your mango sorbet?"

"I haven't tried it yet," The younger man admitted. He had just been stirring his spoon through the cold treat as he had nervously tried to distract attention from his mistake. He scooped some up and brought the spoon to his mouth for a thoughtful first taste. "It's good," He concluded.

He smirked. "Then just enjoy it and shut up."

Recognizing it was Duo's way of telling him he had nothing to make up for, Heero silently enjoyed his sorbet and Duo simultaneously made quick work of his cake.

Even though bad memories had been prompted, the American felt a little bit more at ease. Although he was the inexperienced one, Heero had proven to be equally nervous and prone to mistakes, that made him feel less insecure. And he liked to have been given the opportunity to put Heero at ease. As for the unfortunate referral to Anthony's suicide, thoughts regarding that traumatic event from Duo's past were never far from his mind, so he couldn't blame his date for anything. He hadn't harmed him in a way in which he didn't regularly harm himself, he was used to that pain.

When the check came, Duo stared at it. Rather than keeping up the game of pretense, he confessed: "Okay, so I want to pay, but I don't know the proper etiquette in this situation. I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable by assuming the role of the man because that would leave you the role of…" He trailed off, chewing the inside of his cheek.

"Duo, we're both men. You paying the bill for this dinner doesn't make you anymore manly than me," Heero assured with a chuckle. "You invited me out for dinner, so you should pay. I don't do the whole 'going Dutch' thing. When I ask you out, I will be the one to foot the bill."

"Alright," He retrieved his wallet from the inside pocket of his jacket. "That sounds deceptively simple though."

"Why would it have to be complicated?"

Duo gave the question some consideration. "I don't know. I guess I just always figured it had to be. Dating always seemed like this complicated game to me, with a lot of rules."

"Dating should just be fun."

The older man smiled. "That sounds like a better take on it than mine."

"But Duo,"

"Yeah?" He tucked the money into the check-book, including a generous tip.

"When we get up, you are going to give me a kiss and you are going to hold my hand while we walk out of here."

He felt his face get hot and his palms get sweaty.

"Look, I agreed to a restaurant over an hour's drive away because I accepted it was the only way you would feel comfortable going on a date. That is as far as I am willing to go into the closet for you. I don't want to have to keep playing this game of pretend around strangers as well."

Duo wiped his hands on his pants leg. He looked around, not exactly knowing what he was looking for. Familiar faces? Aggressive looking rednecks? Nuns? He saw nothing but a harmless crowd, with plastic bibs no less. He wondered if maybe he was hoping there was a table with a congregation of priests or something, at least then Heero would likely be sympathetic to his caution. But he knew he owed Heero at least that much. He made Heero crawl through a thorny opening in the hedge in the backyard and drive an hour to a coastal town in absolute secrecy, he couldn't expect to be allowed to make those demands without any kind of reciprocation. He wiped his mouth with his napkin one last time, then got up from his seat, noting Heero followed his lead, meeting him by the side of the table.

Abusing the fact that his date failed to specify what kind of kiss was awaited, he decided on a demure, brief merging of their lips – he wasn't foolish enough to try to get away with a kiss on the cheek – and then gentlemanly offered Heero his hand to escort him out.

He smiled, accepted his hand and walked close to Duo as they passed between the tables towards the door. "Look around Duo."

Duo looked up, he had been staring at the rushed locomotion of his feet, hiding his red face from the crowd.

"No one even cares. No one is chasing us with torches and pitchforks."

The young man was right. Duo had been expecting people to be staring, but no one was paying attention to them. He looked back at a bust-boy starting the clear their table. Business as usual. An older women looked at them and their joined hands briefly as they walked past her, but without any hint of contempt she redirected her gaze to her husband sitting across from her, continuing their conversation.

Duo was relieved, but only marginally so. A display of homosexuality might bother people less and less, to the point where they didn't even look twice, but that was part of the problem in the country, he had been taught. People didn't hold each other accountable anymore; society had developed to condone more sins than condemn them. Priests had told him: it is not tolerance, it is ignorance. The world was changing towards acceptance, but God doesn't change. The reason Duo felt better was because no one would confront him about his disobedience, but he didn't feel better about himself. Although, he could tell that was what Heero expected. The young man just didn't understand the depth of the issue and perhaps youth was to blame. However, to please the man whose hand he was holding, Duo entwined their fingers and gave them a squeeze, emphasizing his smile, which he purposefully brightened.

When they arrived at their vehicle Duo let go of Heero's hand and leaned back against his car. "So what now?"

Stand-offishly Heero replied: "Now I thank you for a lovely evening and a delicious meal and we go home."

"Well, isn't there a first-date-thing?" He inquired innocently, impishly referring to their pre-first-date-thing from the night before.

"Normally, I would thank my date for driving me home and I would allow him to kiss me goodnight on the steps of my front door," He answered glibly. "But since I'll be driving myself home…" He opened the door of his truck.

He reached out instinctively, not even sure what he wanted when he twisted his fingers into the fabric of Heero's shirt and pulled him closer to him. "Please…"

"Please what?" Breathed the younger man challengingly against his exposed neck.

"I don't know." He reached between them and fondled Heero through the coarse fabric of his jeans. He had never been that bold before. He couldn't rationalize it and he recognized he shouldn't overthink it. His body was giving him cryptic signals of what he wanted and all he could do was try to decipher them and act on them. Apparently he wanted to feel Heero get hard in his hand, the warm feeling that spread throughout his body as he easily achieved his goal confirmed as much.

Heero enjoyed his forwardness, heavily leaning into him. He thought to argue: "We shouldn't be doing this. Especially not in a parking lot, for fuck's sake."

"I don't want to think about shoulds and shouldn'ts," Duo panted harshly in the other's ear. "Don't you want to?" He emphasized.

He bucked his hips against Duo's hand. "Fuck, of course I want to. I want you inside me so badly, more so since last night than ever before…" He grunted and with steel determination he placed his hands against Duo's broad chest and distanced himself from the taller man. "But I want more than just sex. So I think the shoulds and shouldn'ts are important."

"Heero," He whined, a little bitter at being denied, "I told you, I'm not gay. I'm not sure I can give you any more than just sex. When I agreed to date-"

"I don't care what you said," The younger man retorted bluntly. "I think you can give me more. I think you are already giving me more, you just can't see it. You are too afraid to see it. But I told you before, I see beauty in things that others write off. I see something here." He pressed his forehead against Duo's. "I accept that it won't last, that you won't let it, but that doesn't mean that we can't let it be, for just this little while."

It's just for a little while.

"Please. I'm not asking for much, just for more, just for a little while."

He grabbed the black tie – his tie – and pulled his neighbor closer to him. Heero needed it, he recognized, he needed the emotional connection the way Duo needed the physical intimacy, those were the things they had been denying themselves and they both needed it – just for a little while – so they wouldn't go crazy. It seemed only fair that they would help each other out. That way neither of them would have to feel guilty. Duo didn't mind if Heero required them to be a little closer, a little more serious, a little more intimate, he was attracted to the younger man in a way that exceeded the physical realm anyway – but would ultimately fall short of what Heero wanted, whether the young man realized that or not. "Okay," He breathed.

"Seriously?" He asked hopeful. "Because we more or less had this conversation before but aside from the physical progress I feel like you are still not considering me as anything more than a friend. I don't need you to fall in love with me, I'm not going to fall in love with you," He stated decisively, "I just need to be someone special to someone. Just for a little while."

"Okay," He repeated. The vulnerability in the other's voice wasn't lost on him.

"Yeah?"

He tightened his hold on the tie and sealed their mouths together for an intense, honest kiss. "Yes. You are special to me," He declared, feeling comfortable with the statement. After all, Heero was the first person in two decades to awaken the exact feelings in Duo that he had previously renounced. He wanted to be with Heero, he enjoyed his company, even when he was just across the room fixing a leak in the pipes or hammering decorative paneling against the freshly painted walls. The way he made Duo feel with a fleeting glance or a simple touch was special to the American. What that meant exactly, he didn't dare to explore.

Heero leaned in to kiss Duo goodnight, moaning when the older man possessively dug his fingers into his wild hair, tilting his head to properly ravage him. He ended their kiss with a silly grin and stepped backwards, into his truck.

He watched him drive off, then took a deep breath and got into his own car, taking the scenic route home to ensure he would arrive significantly later in the neighborhood than Heero, as to not arouse any suspicion.

By the time he pulled into his driveway it was an hour past midnight. The humid air had chilled, the grass was wet from a brief shower that must have passed over. The houses on the street were dark, even Heero's, he must have gone straight to bed. Which was a good idea, it was late and the long drive had been especially tiring.

Once inside his house he stripped out of his clothing, dropping his jacket in the hallway, his shirt at the top of the stairs, toeing off his shoes by his bedroom door and stepping out of his trousers by the side of the bed. He crawled under the thin sheets, heaving a sigh.

Their second date went considerably better. They settled on a restaurant only a forty-five minute drive away and went to see a movie in that theater they had intended to go to earlier, although they didn't see much of the movie. Seated in the back, far away from the few other people that were present it was not the onscreen romance that interested them. The second date yielded no sexual progress, but at the end of the night, tucking into his bed by himself, Duo hadn't felt like anything had been missing. Aside from their dates, they spent even more time together. Either Duo came over to help with the renovation or – because thanks to the extra set of hands the reconstruction was ahead of schedule – Heero snuck over to the author's house and they spent entire afternoons, or nights, into the wee hours, reading books from Duo's private library and sharing personal life stories that the fictional content reminded them of. The American could tell that the closeness made his younger partner happy, which in turn made him happy. Many nights Heero fell asleep with his head in Duo's lap or against Duo's shoulder while the other man read to him in nothing but a soft, baritone whisper. He wished he wouldn't have to wake the younger neighbor in those moments, but he always had to make sure Heero spent the night at his own place, to avoid anyone in the neighborhood noticing. Now that he had all he could expect from Duo, the secrecy of their involvement didn't seem to bother the exotic young man as much.

Despite the comfortable companionship, Heero seemed to be purposefully postponing the official third date and with it the promise of what would happen afterwards, even though Duo could tell the younger man was as eager for them to take that final step as he was. Duo suspected Heero was testing his commitment, waiting to see if their closeness was genuine or nothing but anticipation of sexual gratification. It didn't bother the American, sex, as much as he wanted it, was still quite a nerve-wrecking prospect for him. He wanted them both to have time to be completely comfortable with it. Until that time would come, he liked just being with him, he enjoyed the quiet calm that settled in his mind whenever Heero toyed with the feathery end of his braid or even when he sat across the room, folded in a seat, reading silently to himself a book that Duo had recommended.

In a way he was reminded of how his parents used to be, when they could still stand each other. But he knew how that ended and he knew this would end badly too.

During a dinner of take-out Chinese, sitting cross-legged on the newly polished hardwood floors of Heero's dining room, the young renovator started matter-of-factly: "I told you Trowa was coming over right, to help me with some things?"

"Yes…" He drawled tentatively.

"Well, a small group of friends is also coming over for dinner Sunday. A little barbeque, of course," He elaborated, referring to his kitchen that was still in a state of disarray, "I want you to meet them."

That sounded very… real to him. Really frightening. He acknowledged that as far as Heero was concerned meeting the friends was the equivalent of meeting the parents. Given the temporary nature of their involvement, he wasn't sure it was a good idea for their lives to become entwined to that extent. Also, he feared what Heero's friends would think of him, they probably weren't thinking the nicest things and he predicted they would question his beliefs and rip them apart. He had already made a poor impression on Trowa. "I don't think that is a good idea. I doubt your friends will approve of this- us."

"Us?"

Duo shrugged, trying not to think too much of Heero's innocently hopeful tone.

"I really want you to meet them," He stressed.

"I think involving your friends in this complicated, delicate matter will spoil a nice evening."

"Will you agree to meet them if I just introduce you as my friendly neighbor?"

That felt like a trap, but with the overwhelming desire to please, not to disappoint, the American agreed to join them for Sunday dinner.

Heero crawled over to him on all fours and kissed him on his mouth as a way of thanking him. Soon their bodies lay entangled on the glossy floor, exploring each other as far as they agreed to go before the third date.

The stoic friend Duo had met before, Trowa, arrived late Friday afternoon in a white van with lettering on the side that read: "BARTON's CARPENTRY". He watched the tall, slim man greet Heero with a long, intimate embrace that filled his heart with irrational envy. The hug appeared to exceed what was appropriate for a purely platonic friendship, but maybe the standard definition of 'appropriate' didn't apply between two gay male friends.

He didn't see his neighbor at all most of that weekend. He was intimidated by the strong carpenter who had come to assist him. Sometimes he would spot them around the lunch hour or at sunset, having a beer on the back porch. He tried not to spy but curiosity made the task of avoiding keeping an eye on them nearly impossible. He found himself making excuses to stand by the window, to straighten the curtains or to realign some knickknacks on the sill. The men never appeared aware of his stolen looks. As far as Duo could tell, the two hardly spoke, they just sat in their chairs, their feet propped up on an empty case.

Notably, Heero didn't seek Duo's company that weekend, apparently perfectly fulfilled by the wordless presence of his imperturbable guest. That made the American feel the indignant sting of jealousy all the more. So much so that by the time he got up early Sunday morning he was eager for the dinner. What exactly he felt like he had to prove – or could prove – was a mystery to him, but he realized begrudgingly that he missed the younger man and he didn't like the idea of him spending time with such an attractive guest. Restless dreams had convinced him there was something going on between Heero and Trowa. He remembered in dismay not only the full-body-contact-greeting of the previous Friday, but also the embrace they shared weeks earlier after Trowa's first visit, when the taller man let his hand travel obscenely far south.

They hadn't set a specific time, so Duo coolly remained indoors, distracting himself with a suspenseful book until it was six thirty and he could hear laughter coming from the backyard of the neighboring house. He took the expensive bottle of wine from his own collection that he had set on the table in the hallway in preparation almost two hours before, and he stepped out of his front door. He had contemplated going around back, making use of the opening in the hedge, but that wouldn't make a good impression on Heero's friends – he particularly didn't feel like explaining that odd entry – and he believed he could brush off any suspicion of the other neighbors since it was nothing more than a friendly get-together.

He rifled his fist on the front door, but there was no answer. He could hear impassioned conversation coming from the back porch and he realized they wouldn't hear his knocking. He followed the narrow trail around the side of the house, grabbing hold of the bottle with two hands as he was afraid to drop it with his palms going slick with a nervous sweat. Just as he was about to round the corner and expose himself to the gathering of people, he was approached by two excited dogs; an odd couple of a gentle, slow-moving black-and-white Great Dane and an excited, energetic, long-haired, tan Chihuahua. The little dog jumped up against him, hungry for attention, while the large beast merely sniffed at him. Careful not to step on the frenzied bundle of fur circling his feet, he stepped into the backyard.

Since the dogs had alerted everyone to his arrival, they had all fallen quiet as they had been waiting for him and as he walked around the back of the house he felt his face become warm as he saw them all staring at him.

A group of seven people – including Heero, were seated at a large wooden dining table that looked like Trowa had quickly but masterfully put together from excess building material, on the porch.

Heero got up to meet him at the steps of the porch, accepting the bottle of wine he was offered. He thanked him even though a single bottle of wine was a pathetic gift to bring to a dinner party that would serve eight people. With one hand holding the bottle by the neck and the other on the tall man's shoulder he invited him onto the porch and introduced him to his friends. "Guys, this is my neighbor, Duo Maxwell. He has been quite the helping hand to me."

The older man fought to keep his face from blushing, being privy to the double entendre of that statement.

Heero pointed the bottle at each individual as he introduced them. "Milliardo, Lucrezia, Quatre, you remember Trowa, Treize and last but not least," with a smirk he made a formal bow, "Lady Une."

"Real funny, Yuy," The attractive woman shot back. Addressing Duo she said: "Please, just call me Une. Trust me, I'm doing you a favor by not letting you call me by my first name."

"Take a seat, you'll fit right in. We're all a bunch of oddly named motherfuckers," Joked the raven-haired Lucrezia.

"It's nice to meet all of you." He took a seat at the end of the table, Milliardo to his left, Une to his right, and chewed the inside of his cheek as Heero divided the contents of the bottle between eight glasses of wine.

"So, you've been helping Heero out with the renovation," Started the attractive brunette to his right, "What kind of work do you do that leaves you with so much free time?"

"Uhm, I'm a writer."

Eyebrows raised. "Really," Inquired Milliardo interestedly. The man had long, platinum blond hair tied into a braid much like his own. A notable coincidence. "What kind of writer, exactly?"

Duo stalled, taking a sip of his wine, he knew where this way going. "I wrote a book."

"I read it, it's really good," The host chimed in, seated at the opposite end of the table.

"What is it about?" Asked another blond, Quatre, curiously.

"Uhm," He wanted to avoid provoking a discussion about religion, so his ambiguous answers was: "Growing up. Self-discovery. Heero is being too generous, it's not very good," He brushed off.

"What is it called?" Quatre continued.

The crowd chuckled at the blond's enthusiasm and explained he was an obsessive reader, devouring any title.

"It's called 'For the love of God'."

The group chuckled again, thinking it was meant sarcastically. Across the table Trowa narrowed his eyes the newcomer, obviously he had been better informed than the others, thanks to his previous stay.

Quatre seemed to be making a note in his phone. "I'll look it up."

"Hm." Duo nodded and forced a smile, taking a large drink of his wine.

"It must have sold pretty good for you to be able to live off it, in such a nice house, no less," Remarked the regal looking Treize.

"Yes. I got lucky."

Realizing he felt uncomfortable under the scrutiny the group of friends thankfully redirected the conversation to catch up. Duo enjoyed listening to their stories and their shared laughter. They seemed like a nice group of people, all very open and genuine.

Milliardo and Lucrezia took charge of the barbeque that was placed on the lawn to keep the smoke from building up under the porch. Removed from the rest they appeared to be having a private conversation. Duo assumed they were a couple.

Everyone piled meat, fruit, bread and salad onto their plates and dug in greedily, people getting up and changing seats as the conversation got splintered into small groups. Heero ended up sitting next to Duo, which relieved the older man.

Lucrezia fed the Great Dane a sausage and they all laughed when the tiny Chihuahua bounced up and down trying to steal the treat right out of the mouth of the behemoth.

Under the table Duo could feel Heero press his leg against his. The young man looked at him mischievously for a brief moment, then pretended nothing was going on.

After everyone was stuffed with food and two more bottles of wine, with the exception of the designated drivers, Heero, Quatre and Une offered to clear the table. Treize lit a cigar, prompting Milliardo to switch seats again with Une so he wouldn't have to sit right next to that foul smell, stating: "I hate it when he does that." The group said in monotonous unison: "We know." Treize managed a smirk while holding the cigar between his lips.

Duo offered to help clean up but he was ordered – quite firmly – to sit back down.

When the mess had been cleared away Heero placed the stereo in the kitchen window to accompany them with soft music. He took his seat by his neighbor again.

Lucrezia cleared her throat to get everybody's attention and showed the deck of cards she had produced from her purse.

"No! No!" Une protested, erupting in wild laughter. "I'm not playing!"

"But we always play," She whined with a grin, playing with the cards.

Quatre straightened up interestedly. "I want to play a game. That is, if everybody else does."

They all nodded and then looked at Duo expectantly.

"What kind of game do you have in mind? I'm not really into card games, so I don't think I can play." Duo thought he was too old to play games, but since no-one had mentioned his age, he wasn't about to put it in the forefront either.

"No worries, it's really simple." Lucrezia expertly shuffled the cards. "It's kind of like Black Jack, you know that game right?"

"More or less."

"Well, the game is really easy. Everyone gets dealt two cards, face down. You add up the score of the two cards. Obviously, face cards are ten points and the Aces eleven. The aim is to get a score of twenty-one, so if your total score is less, you can ask the dealer to give you another card, to try to get as close to twenty-one as possible, without going over. You can let the dealer draw you as many additional cards if you want. If you go over twenty-one, you lose. If you have the lowest total score of the group, you also lose."

"Alright, that does sound simple enough. But what are the consequences for losing? Do we bet money?"

"I wish," Exclaimed Une, "No, the stakes are much higher."

Lucrezia answered: "If you lose by having the lowest score or by going over twenty-one, you have to share a secret with the group and take a shot." She grinned.

"A shot of what?" Inquired Heero.

"I brought two bottles of tequila."

"Milliardo?" Asked Treize, "Do you have cash on you? We are going to need a taxi to get home at the end of this night."

"Do you play this often?" Asked Duo.

"Une and I play, with our book-club," She winked at the others.

Quatre threw his hands up in the air. "I knew it! I knew you hadn't seriously joined a book-club! Your idea of a 'good read' are the instructions on a microwave dinner."

"Hey, function over form, my friend. No slight to you, mister author," Lucrezia assured, "I'm sure your book is wonderful, but I just don't like to read."

"No, it's fine. To each their own."

"So are we playing?" The short-haired woman asked excitedly.

"I'm afraid," Whimpered Heero.

Une leaned over the table and told him: "You should be. Honestly, the things I told people after a couple of shots."

"You are such a lightweight, babe," Mocked Lucrezia, then she rose from he seat and started dealing cards, two per person. "Okay, we'll take turns dealing, going around the table clockwise."

Duo took the cards that were pushed his way across the rough surface of the table. He picked up his set and stared at the Jack of Hearts and five of Diamonds.

"Okay. Everybody know their number? Who wants another card?"

A number of them raised their hands. Duo contemplated playing it safe, not going over twenty-one, but the odds of someone ending up with less than fifteen were not good, so he hesitantly raised his hand also. He dealt a four of Clubs. He was pleased with his total score, with a smirk he lay his cards face down on the table.

"One more, anybody?"

With a scrunched up face Quatre raised his hand.

"Bold move, blondie, bold move," Commented the dealer as she gave him another card.

"Fuck!" Exclaimed the short man when he turned his card over. With pursed lips he showed his set of four; two threes, a five and an Ace.

Everyone was challenged to lay their cards face up on the table. They all curiously looked around, trying to figure out who the other loser – with the lowest number – would be. The handsome Treize was the unlucky one, with a total score of sixteen.

Trowa got up from his seat, "I'll go get the tequila. Luc?"

"Army print shopping bag in the corner of the kitchen. I brought plastic shot glasses too," She directed.

When Trowa returned he put a little plastic cup in front of everyone and poured Treize and Quatre a drink.

"Bottoms up."

"Quatre should tell his secret first," Argued the sophisticated looking man.

The blond buried his red face in his hand. "What kind of secret?"

"I'm thinking something funny and embarrassing, not telling us where you hid the body," Quipped the instigator of the game.

Une groaned, drawing all eyes to her.

"That was one of your secrets? Who? What?" Stammered the innocent blond.

"Mister Bojangles!"

Lucrezia was already laughing, having heard the story before.

"My sister's hamster," Une clarified, then she made a face. "Why the fuck am I telling you this, it isn't my turn!"

The group laughed but started to pester Quatre on behalf of her.

"Alright! Alright!" He raised his hands in surrender. He took the shot and had a fit of the giggles afterwards as he tried to think of a suitable secret to share. "Okay. I lost my virginity at sixteen."

"Oh, come on, you have to do better than that," Interrupted Lucrezia.

"I wasn't done yet!" He shouted back. "I lost my virginity at sixteen, but for four years I told all my boyfriends I was still a virgin." He buried his face in his hands again.

"You little minx!"

The group laughed.

"But why?" Asked Duo mildly.

Quatre shrugged. Red-faced he answered: "I liked that when they thought I was still a virgin they didn't mind taking things slow."

His friends let out a collective: "Awwwww."

"Shut up!" Quatre stuck his tongue out at them. "It's your turn Treize."

He straightened in his seat and took the small cup into his hands. "I have to warn you all. You see this charming, smoldering thing I've got going on?" He gestured at himself, "When I tell you this secret the illusion will be shattered."

"I'm just glad you are admitting that it is an illusion and nothing more," Jested Milliardo.

Treize downed his drink and started: "So, when I was in college, I dated quite a bit. I met this one guy, super hot -"

Duo frowned. Treize was gay? He hadn't realized. He thought the tall man was with Une, who had been sitting next to him most during the course of the evening.

"- and I mean super hot. I asked him out and I was thrilled that he said yes. Took him to this nice little Mexican place, rookie mistake. We have a lovely evening, but my stomach starts to feel a little funny."

They all made a face.

"I drive him home, not expecting anything, but the guy invites me into his apartment, his roommate would be gone all night anyway. And this guy is all over me, practically pounces me. Now, my stomach was a little upset, but nothing I could handle, I wasn't going to push him off me. So he gets me to lie down on his bed, feet still on the floor, he kneels between my legs and yanks my pants down and he goes to town on me. Now, he was a little more toothy than I like, but it was nice. However, I can tell my stomach is starting to rumble and gurgle. I felt it more than I heard it. Anyway, so he's sucking my dick and then my balls and then he goes down further."

At that point Milliardo started laughing hysterically, barely able to breathe.

"While he is rimming me," Treize continued, "I farted."

Duo wasn't really sure what rimming was, but he had enough information for an unpleasant mental picture and he joined the others in shocked laughter.

"I'm not talking a puff of air. I full on farted, to this day I don't know if something came out, it wouldn't surprise me. It was that kind of fart. Right in his face!"

Quatre was clutching his sides, the most amused of all, probably also because he was relieved his secret wasn't nearly as embarrassing.

"And you know what the really fucked-up thing was? I think he liked it!"

"Oh, no!"

"Seriously, he went on like nothing had happened. So what happened then is I started to judge him. I was the one who farted in someone face but I judged him because he totally seemed… into it! All these things were going through my mind and I was really worried I was going to be caught off guard by some kind of fetish. So I couldn't go through with it."

"You left him hanging?" Lucrezia sputtered.

Treize shrugged.

"The man took a fart in the face for you, Treize!"

Their laughter roared through the quiet neighborhood. Once everyone had teased Treize to their satisfaction and wiped the tears from the corners of their eyes, it was Trowa's turn to deal new cards.

Duo toyed with his red six and black seven and was relieved the additional card he requested was a five. He hoped his score would be sufficient, he didn't dare to ask for another card.

Everyone showed their hand. Heero got poured a drink because his total score was twenty-four and Une and Milliardo got a shot for their shared lowest score of sixteen. Une explained what had happened with her sister's hamster; an embarrassing accident. Milliardo recounted the tale of a 'cross-dressing incident'. Heero shamefully shared his obsession with reruns of the TV series 'Friends' when he was a teenager, adding with a red hue on his cheeks:

"I always really wanted Joey and Chandler to get together, romantically. I seriously shipped those two, it was pathetic. I was genuinely upset when Chandler got with Monica. I wrote the show an angry letter."

Duo didn't know what 'shipped' meant, but he didn't dare to admit that, thinking it was due to the age-gap he didn't want to draw attention to. Regardless, Heero's confession was endearing. The young man was much more of a softy than he oftentimes let on, perhaps that was his greatest secret.

The game continued and every round Duo was spared the embarrassing experience of sharing a secret, to the dismay of the others who were gradually getting drunk. They coerced him into taking the occasional shot as well. They were determined not to end the game until Duo had lost at least once.

He scowled when he ended up with an Ace, a three of Hearts and a King of Spades. When Quatre was done telling his fifth story of the night, in disjointed manner as he was impaired by the alcohol in his system, Duo looked at the crowd hesitantly as they looked at him expectantly. He downed the drink and immediately asked for a refill, earning cheers and catcalls. He took the second shot for courage and then boldly proclaimed: "I haven't had sex in seven years."

They stared at him.

Quatre was the first to start laughing, interrupting the awkward silence with his mirthful, drunk chortles. The others joined in, Duo laughed as well, even though he had never thought it to be particularly amusing before. He was drunk and easily amused because of it.

Since they had achieved their goal of getting the older man to spill a secret the end of the game was announced and Heero served strong coffee and some left-overs so his guests could sober up a little before they would head home. They listened to the quiet music coming from the radio and the snoring of the big sleeping dog under the table.

"So how did you all meet?" Duo wondered, curious to understand the dynamic of the group of friends.

"Heero and I were in business school together," Started Quatre, nursing his big cup of black coffee. "And Heero met Trowa when he hired him for some detail woodwork on one of his first renovations. They became friends and Heero introduced us."

"What about you guys?"

Milliardo tiredly stirred his coffee, but he shared a kind smile with Heero. "Heero and I dated a couple of years back."

Duo frowned, realizing the long-haired man was gay also, discrediting the author's previous assumption that he and Lucrezia, affectionately called 'Luc' by her friends – and she insisted Duo did also - were an item.

The man with the admirable blond hair continued: "We met when Heero was waiting to get tested for HIV, I was volunteering at the gay and lesbian center at the time, as a counselor, helping people through the six month waiting period. We cared deeply for each other, but it didn't work out. I am, however, very happy we managed to stay friends."

"Why didn't it work out?"

"Heero turned out to be negative. Thank God. But I'm positive. Some people can make that work, but… Not everyone. I was too worried about infecting him and… I'll admit, I was at times resentful that he turned out to be clean and I hadn't been so lucky."

Duo was rendered silent by the unexpected seriousness of the conversation.

Milliardo elevated the atmosphere with a brilliant smile: "We work better as friends,"

Duo mirrored his smile but it was forced.

"And then I met Treize a little while later at a Pos-men dating event, and we've been together ever since. And he's to blame for dragging the lesbians along," He said with a wink.

Surprised Duo directed his gaze at the two women.

"I used to date Treize," Une elaborated.

Treize explained matter-of-factly: "I'm bi."

Une snorted. "Yeah, I thought I was too. But now I can't imagine being married to anyone other than Luc, especially not a man."

"You're married?"

"Four years," Replied the two women in unison, exchanging a loving look.

"So… You are all gay?" The religious American blurted.

At the opposite end of the table Trowa demonstratively wrapped an arm around Quatre and stated dryly: "Yes, of course. Heero doesn't have any straight friends."

"Not after Marc," Remarked Une, but then she looked like she immediately regretted saying anything.

Duo got up from his seat and looked at them perplexed, feeling deceived and entrapped. They were all gay and they were all a couple and he realized every single one of them assumed he was gay also and that he and Heero were together. "I'm not gay!" He argued defensively.

They shared confused looks between them.

"Duo," Heero tried, "Please, don't get upset. It's an honest mistake."

"A mistake you purposefully let them make!"

Trowa shot up from his seat at Duo's raised voice. "Hey! Calm down."

"It's none of your business."

"It is my business," The auburn-haired man asserted.

Duo shook his head at Trowa, then at Heero. Everything clicked. The embraces. The hostile attitude. The over-protectiveness. Something was going on between the two of them, behind Quatre's back. Behind his own back. He felt sick. "I'm leaving," He announced and promptly did so. He turned around only long enough to thank them for the evening and to apologize for letting it end like that, then he stormed off. Heero followed him and didn't stop even as Trowa barked his name.

He allowed Heero to follow him into his house, rather than locking the front door behind him. He didn't want Heero to keep knocking on his door and calling out to him, it would wake the whole neighborhood and draw curious eyes to them.

"Duo, please don't be upset," Heero pleaded in the darkness of the hallway.

"I feel totally humiliated! This entire evening they all thought I was like them!"

Heero reeled back. "Like them? What would be so bad about that?"

"I'm not gay, Heero," He stressed. He buried his hands in his hair. "I know you don't believe me. But I'm not. I'm not. I mean… I like you… I like being with you, I like touching you… but that's it! To be gay means to fall in love with people of the same gender and that's not me. It's one thing for a stranger to see us holding hands in a restaurant, they are not going to think twice about it. But to let your friends think I'm gay? I feel like you are trying to change me, trying to convince me that 'being gay is okay'. But that is not what we agreed on and it hurts me that it seems like you are trying to trick me into becoming someone else. I am not going to change. When you leave I'm going to be the same man I always was." He could see the younger man's face contort with the effort to keep his emotions in check. Duo tried not to be affected and harsly continued: "Besides, why should this mean anything to me when it obviously doesn't mean anything to you? You don't give a damn about relationships, not about your own and not about the relationships of others."

"What are you talking about?"

"The way you are with Trowa!"

Heero frowned at him. "We're just friends!"

"So you haven't slept with him?"

The young man bit back: "So we had sex a couple of times! So what? It doesn't mean anything!"

Duo took a few steps back, surprised at the jealous sting in his chest. "It doesn't mean anything?" He challenged.

Heero reached out to him, laying soothing hands on Duo's upper arms, a gesture that would normally calm the older man, but he was too livid. With cobalt eyes filled with an earnest turmoil he assured the taller one: "I haven't slept with him since we… since we… I promise."

"No?"

"No, of course not."

Duo scoffed. "Of course not," He huffed indignantly. "And what about Quatre? He's with Trowa, isn't he? Have you two been fucking behind his back?"

"Not exactly…"

"Not exactly?" As far as Duo was concerned that meant yes. How could Heero do that to one of his friends? "How could you? If that's the kind of person you are… Just go back to your friends. Use one of them for sex. Betray the other one. If that's all you want… then what are you doing here? What do you want from me?"

"Look, yes, Trowa and I have slept together a couple of times, even now that he is with Quatre. But he and Quatre have an open relationship. Quatre knows that Trowa and I sometimes do stuff when he comes over for a weekend to help with renovations and he is okay with it. He's had casual sexual encounters of his own."

"Then why was Trowa so over-protective? If it's just sex?"

"He's my best friend! Of course he wants to protect me, especially since he is the only one who knows the terms of my relationship with you and he doesn't agree with it. You made a bad impression on him last time, Trowa isn't one to easily forgive and forget."

Duo took a deep breath, feeling a little bit more at ease. "So you aren't fooling around with Trowa anymore?"

"No."

"And, according to the rules he set up with Quatre, Trowa wasn't cheating on him with you?"

Heero shook his head. "No. They love each other. And they are great together. They are meant to be together, they just have their own idea of what a committed relationship between two gay men looks like. To them, all that matters is that they come home to each other at the end of the day and love only each other, not the others."

The American frowned when he picked up on the sadness in Heero's whispered words.

"Trowa doesn't love me," He continued, casting his sullen gaze to a dark corner, "He has sex with me, but he doesn't love me. He goes home to Quatre every time… I- I like the sex, but it's not enough for me. For once in my life I want to be the person someone comes home to. I don't want to always be the guy who just 'works better as a friend'." He looked up at Duo pathetically, torment apparent in his eyes. "But that's always how it ends up. I'm never more to people than just a friend. To Marc. To Milliardo. To Trowa… To you. It's not what I want but it's all I've ever gotten and you can't blame me for taking as much of it as I can get!"

His anger was diffused by his sympathy for the younger man. He moved in closer, putting his hands on Heero's shoulders but he stopped short of drawing him into an embrace. He could feel Heero's shorter frame tremble and he could hear his shaky breaths. He didn't what to do or what to say.

"I'm sorry about tonight," Offered the Asian man, wiping fingers under his eyes to remove the evidence of crying. "I just wanted what they have, what they all have, for one night. Someone who is mine. I didn't lie to them, but you're right, I- I let them believe that we…- I'm sorry." He took a deep breath and then looked up uncertainly.

Duo kissed his forehead and then decided to wrap his arms around him. With his face buried in messy, chocolate brown hair he muttered: "You are more than just a friend to me… Now I'm not saying-… That doesn't mean-… But I am yours."

Heero returned the hug tightly, gratefully.

Duo disentangled them to be able to look the younger man in the eye. "But only for a little while," He added, he didn't want Heero to get the wrong idea, to get his hopes up. "And no one needs to know. This is between us."

He nodded. "Yeah. Okay."

"I'm sorry too. About getting mad and acting like a total infant in front of your friends. I actually really liked that 'bunch of oddly named motherfuckers'."

Heero chuckled.

"You should probably go back, before Trowa comes barging in here."

He nodded and started towards the door. "Hey, Duo? Since I basically lured you into a quadruple date, tonight was our third official date."

The American didn't know what to say, he just knew that he got nervous and aroused all at once.

"I could come back. If you leave your kitchen door unlocked…"

"I will," He agreed eagerly, much to his embarrassment. "But only if you're sure."

"I am. I want to."

"Me too." He watched Heero leave, halfheartedly waving goodbye. He moved through his dark house to the back door, with his hand on the key he stilled. By getting involved with him Heero was making the same mistake the had before; diving into a relationship with a person who couldn't give him what he wanted and needed; who couldn't fully reciprocate his feelings. He worried Heero still believed he could change the religious man, knowing the young man was in for bitter disappointment. He should keep the door locked, he should protect Heero from himself. They had both already let it get too far and now they were preparing to go even further. But he didn't want to shut the likable young man out, he was selfish that way. He would miss the exciting neighbor. He had let it go too far and now he was addicted to him; to the sight of him, to the smell of him, to the taste of him.

Besides… He scoffed at himself, he may be the older one, but it was not his responsibility to make the right choices for the other. Young as he was, he was an adult, he was mature enough to decide for himself what he should or should not get into. Wasn't it incredibly vain of Duo to think himself to be so irresistible the young man would inevitably fall head-over-heels in love with him?

He unlocked the door and nodded to himself. Like he had said to himself before: It was up to Heero to 'close the door', if that was what he wanted, what he thought was best. If Heero believed he could go through with it without getting too emotionally invested and making himself vulnerable for heartache, than who was he to argue with that decision?

Vanity was a sin, after all.

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><p><strong>Friend, fellow author and amazing artist CaseyCuervo has made an illustration for chapter twelve of "Thousand Words". You can find the artwork by copy-pasting the link below, or, if you don't feel like deleting all those breaks, you can just go to (www .) archiveofourown (. o r g) and search for author CaseyCuervo. The artwork is titled "Fanart No. 4: Thousand Words". Be warned, the image is only suitable for mature viewers :P<strong>

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><p><strong> w-w-w-.-archiveofourown-.-o-r-g--works-/-1502945**

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><p><strong>But before you go there (and perhaps have to take a cold shower afterwards), let me know what you thought of this chapter. What did you think of the appearance of the other GW characters?<strong>


	12. Chapter 12

**CaseyCuervo: Glad ya liked it :) **

**Snowdragonct: I'm glad you liked the inclusion of the other GW characters, normally I wouldn't write them all in, but they seemed to fit here naturally, even though I had to change them to suit the needs of the story. Thanks for your comment, I hope you will enjoy this update.**

**Ryoko Lamperouge: One serving of hardcore sex coming right up! :P**

**Maeve Mauvais: Thanks for still following the story and for checking out the fanart. I hope you will like this new chapter.**

**Anonymous: Thank you so much for your support and understanding. I hope you are still following and enjoying the story :)**

**Ckushrenada: There's a big conflict coming up, I hope you will like that too :S Thank you for your review :)**

**xAngelOfSorrow: Thanks for checking out the fanart, I'm sure the artist appreciates it! And of course thank you for reading and reviewing my story :)**

**Belladonna Goddess Chloe: I hope the long wait hasn't put you off. Let me know what you think about this update :)**

**Shenlong1: Thank you for reading my story and for taking the time to leave a review. I hope you will continue to read to find out how the issues are resolved :)**

**Daphie: I'm evil, I confess ;) No worries, this time they will not be interrupted when 'things are about to go down' :P Thank you for your review.**

**Jeangreymullinsjr: Happy to read you like this one the best of my stories. I sometimes feel it is the most difficult to write, so I do worry if things are coming across the right way. Quatre and Trowa will have a tin y little subplot in this story, I hope that, as a 3x4-fan you will enjoy it. Thank you for another kind review :)**

**Mewanierose: Thank you so much. I really appreciate you taking the time to tell me that. I hope you are still reading and enjoying the story :)**

**Zombietdactyl: Thanks for another kind review! I'm really happy to read you enjoyed the previous chapter, I hope you will like this one also :)**

**CaramelAriana: Thank you for reading the story and it's great to hear from you. I think accidentally mowing over Relena's flower bed is a mild punishment :P**

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><p><strong>Author's note:<strong>

**I know it took me longer than you wanted and you probably wanted a longer chapter, but at least they finally 'get on with it' :P**

**Warning: This chapter contains sexual content!** ** If you are offended by the content of this chapter and you feel it violates the FF guidelines, please contact me and I will change the chapter accordingly.**

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><p><strong>Love Thy Neighbor<strong>

_**Chapter Eleven**_

In spite of them being reduced to a tangled mess of uncoordinated limbs, blindly and desperately groping, they managed to make their way upstairs. In hindsight Duo wasn't sure why they had bothered to specifically seek out the bed, but he supposed sleeping with another man would be adventurous enough without doing it on the floor as beasts, on the couch as teenagers or sacrilegiously up against a bookcase.

He fell backward onto the bed, Heero landed on top of him. The younger man chuckled breathily before resuming their deep, passionate kiss. He maneuvered himself onto all fours. To have their bodies no longer be touching was a relief to Duo, not because he didn't enjoy it, but instead because he enjoyed it too much. After all, as he had sheepishly confessed to the group of guests at the dinner party, it had been seven years since his last sexual encounter. In all likelihood it was going to end embarrassingly quickly no matter what they did to avoid it, but Duo hoped he could save some smidgen of dignity.

A sheen of sweat covered his body. His clothes clung to his skin uncomfortably, the heat was nearly unbearable. As if Heero could read his mind the younger man sat up, straddling Duo's hips, and started to unbutton his shirt, he looked down at him with a smile.

He heaved a sigh of relief when his shirt was opened up and pushed to the sides, but incredible heat flooded him once more – if anything even more relentlessly – when Heero bent forward again and started kissing and licking his chest. He wanted to move, he wanted to touch, he wanted to please – it seemed only fair given the pleasure he was receiving – but all he could do was lay there stupendously, his arms limp, lying beside him on the bed like dead weights. The front of his pants were tight and the constriction was painful.

He watched with big, curious eyes as Heero briefly paused his ministrations to rid himself of his own shirt. The young man's body was astounding in its apparent perfection, he was so slim with defined muscles moving elegantly underneath smooth skin. The renovator's fingertips were understandably calloused as they returned to caress the older man's torso while somewhere to the left he heard the rustle of Heero's shirt falling to floor after he had flung it across the room.

"What should I do?" He wondered, pathetically inexperienced.

"Don't worry about it. Let me take care of it."

"No… I want… I want to…" He frowned at his own loss of words. "I want you," He decided on.

The smile on Heero's face was bright and earnest. He sat back, his bottom resting on Duo's sensitized grown. The author moaned at the contact and stared when Heero's slim fingers grabbed his right wrist and raised his arm off the mattress. He placed Duo's big hand on his golden chest and covered it with his own. Duo could feel the heart underneath beating wildly, much like his own. It surprised him, since the younger man seemed so in control, so cool.

"Just touch me," He whispered sensually, releasing the hand.

"How?" His fingers twitched with uncertainty.

"However you like."

While worrying his lower lip between his teeth pensively he started rubbing circles with his thumb, reveling in the softness of the skin, then moved his hand slightly to the right, rubbing his sweaty palm over the pert nipple. He looked into deep blue eyes for approval but all he could see was a haze of lust and longing, which he supposed was mirrored in his own gaze. He reached up with his other hand and let all ten of his curious fingers ghost over the expansion of silken skin, noticing the reflexive contractions of the muscles in his abdomen. His hands settled on the slim hips, gripping them tightly and holding them in place as he instinctively ground his own hips against him. The moan the simple friction drew from Heero's mouth was intoxicating and added to the urgency Duo was already experiencing.

The young man had an unparalleled effect on him, an effect he could hardly understand, much less accept, but one thing he knew for certain was that he was powerless to resist it. He sat upright and eagerly initiated another kiss. His hands moved to Heero's ass and a frown formed on his face at the odd shape he encountered in Heero's back pocket. His lips went slack as it started to dawn on him.

With a sheepish smile Heero reached into his pocket and produced a small bottle of lip and a strip of three condoms.

The reality of what was going to happen hit like a freight train but he tried to keep himself composed. "We're going to need all three?"

Heero chuckled. "No, I just grabbed whatever before heading out the back door." He placed the items on the sheets next to them. "But it might be good to have at least one extra handy," He voiced carefully and sympathetically.

His face flushed red, recognizing that Heero was referring to a likely premature orgasm. He opened his mouth for a sharp intake of breath when Heero leaned in to kiss his face and nip at his ear.

"It's okay if you come early," He whispered, "I don't want you to resist it. I want you to enjoy this."

After swallowing loudly Duo proclaimed: "I want you to enjoy it too."

"I will."

"But if I come too soon…" He groaned in embarrassment. The low, friendly chuckle that vibrated in his ear sent shivers down his spine.

"Then we will take things slow and you will come again, together with me."

He didn't doubt that he was capable of a quick post-orgasm recovery considering the company he was in. He watched dumbly as Heero worked to strip them both out of their clothes, standing up to step out of his pants. Seeing the handsome Japanese man completely undressed and in an obvious state of arousal caused his breath to hitch in the back of his throat. "You're beautiful," He uttered.

"Yeah?"

"Oh God, yes."

They both stilled at 'the G-word'. The expression in Heero's eyes was one of worry, worry that the other man would change his mind and want to back out. But Duo didn't want to stop, he wanted this – that had been the core problem all along. As far as he was concerned they were well beyond the point of no return. He crawled backwards awkwardly, further onto to the bed and beckoned for his neighbor to come join him.

Visibly relieved Heero climbed back onto the bed and lay himself down next to the taller man, draping one golden leg over a pale thigh. He kissed him passionately, smiling against his mouth at the distracted response he was getting as he palmed the firm arousal standing up in Duo's lap.

After being subjected to more foreplay and teasing than he thought he could handle it came as somewhat of a relief when Heero's warm hand vanished and the lithe body maneuvered into a different position. Heero's intentions were unclear to Duo, he watched, enthralled, as the other lay down on his side, perpendicular to his own tense, outstretched form.

He took a deep breath that shuddered upon release when one of the condoms was rolled down his length. Part of him wished they could take advantage of the lack of pregnancy risk and touch skin to skin, but he knew Heero would never be unsafe again after his scare a few years ago and that was a good thing. The latex was cold and the texture odd, but a warm, attentive mouth soon made him forget about that. He cried out watching most of his manhood disappear beyond Heero's lips at the first downward stroke.

He definitely wasn't going to last long.

He focused on the way Heero's soft hair fell around his face, the ends of the strands tickling his lower abdomen and inner thigh as he moved his head up and down. His tanned hand was planted on Duo's tight abdomen, the thumb absentmindedly rubbing soothing circles.

Duo didn't even have the chance to warn him, his orgasm ripped through him unexpectedly. The hand moved down from his abdomen to his hip bone, pressing down to still the uncontrolled bucking of his hips. He kept him deep inside his throat, only slightly bobbing up and down, his tongue still providing pressure as the condom was filled up.

"Oh, fuck!" Duo covered his face with his hands. His face, neck and chest felt hot and were surely flushed a bright red.

Heero moaned around him one last time before sitting up and carefully taking the condom off him. He tied a knot into the latex and got off the bed to dispose of it in the trashcan in the adjoining bathroom.

Duo took in deep calming breaths. It was a relief to momentarily be left alone so he could compose himself. He listened to the water running in the sink as the younger man was likely washing the taste of latex and lubricant out of his mouth. When returned he lay down next to Duo again and lightly kissed his lips.

"Did that feel good?" He asked breathily.

The other let out a single, bitter chuckle. "Too good. Wasn't it obvious?" He replied wryly.

"I told you not to worry about it," He whispered, meaning to reassure him.

"Yeah. Yeah. Thank you." He gazed down at Heero's half-hard member that he could feel against his outer thigh. "What about you?"

"I'll come when you are ready to come again with me."

They kissed leisurely while their hands took time exploring the other's body without seeking any direct gratification.

Eventually their caresses became more demanding. Inhibitions flew out the window and their tongues engaged in a struggle for dominance while their hands groped and fondled. With his previous climax not having been very long ago Duo felt less rushed and more confidant that he wouldn't make a total fool of himself. Still, he knew they shouldn't push their luck and overstimulate.

Heero, apparently remarkably in tune with him, stopped the pleasurable pumping of his fist over the entire length of his companion's renewed arousal, and he sat up, straddling Duo, sitting on his thighs. He peeled open another packet and expertly applied the condom. The cap of the bottle of lubrication popped when he thumbed it open. The clear liquid dripped into his open palm, which he proceeded to rub up and down Duo's manhood, transferring the slick substance. He poured more into his awaiting palm and moved his fingers to ensure they were generously coated. Heero put the bottle aside and reached his hand behind his back. He never broke eye-contact with his soon-to-be lover.

The older man couldn't see what he was doing, but it didn't take a genius to know. His face felt as hot as the rest of his body, he found the eye-contact – while knowing what Heero was doing to himself – incredible intimate and erotic.

After deeming himself ready his neighbor asked: "Are you ready?"

He swallowed, then nodded rather furiously.

Heero smiled with evident relief and anticipation and scooted forward so he was sitting over Duo's groin. He reached back again and Duo gasped when he felt the long, slick fingers grab his erection and guide the head as he lowered himself.

His heart was thundering like he had never experienced before. Duo heard himself groan like a wild beast when the tight heat of Heero's body enveloped him. A sense of 'finally' washed over him.

Nothing on earth should feel that good. How was a man supposed to love God above all when something like that felt so good? It didn't feel wrong, it felt right. It felt like something he had been waiting for all his life.

"Feel good?" Heero grunted, sitting still in Duo's lap.

"Yeah… Ohhh, yeah." He chuckled sheepishly at himself. "You?"

"It feels amazing."

They moaned in unison when Heero started moving his hips.

Duo had kept his hands to himself, too afraid and too unsure to touch, but he thought to wonder: "Should I jerk you off?" He blushed at the vulgar question he had posed.

"Not yet, or I'll be the one who comes prematurely."

Heero alternated between a pace of fast and slow every couple of thrusts, pulling Duo back from the edge every time he threatened to tumble into the deep, as well as keeping his own pleasure in check.

Duo couldn't deny that the experience was pleasurable in a greater sense than merely the physical. He felt a closeness to the younger man that he had never felt during previous sexual encounters with women, not even when he was supposed to be making love to his ex-wife. He felt so at ease with Heero, so understood. The act evaporated his worries into meaningless steam and he wouldn't be plagued by them until they slipped back into his consciousness like droplets of condensation.

He discovered that with Heero, unlike with his other lovers, he didn't have to pretend. Past experiences had never been genuine, had never been heartfelt. He was always pretending to love someone he didn't, or be interested and pleased by a body that, unfortunately, left him mostly unaffected. It was frightening to realize that being intimate with another man was the closest he had ever come to being true to himself. A thought like that led to a single path, a single conclusion. The conclusion he had been actively denying his entire life.

Luckily those ugly thoughts disappeared into the mist. All he could focus on was the movement of Heero's hips and the fine hairs he felt on the younger man's legs as he absentmindedly caressed his hands up and down both thighs straddling him.

"I think…" He grunted, "I'm starting to get close."

Heero's only response was wrapping his fingers around his own arousal, bringing himself close to the edge in preparation of taking the leap in unison with his lover.

Watching the tanned hand pump up and down added to the enjoyment. "I'm definitely close now!" Duo announced shortly.

Again the younger man didn't provide him with a verbal response, he simply nodded and then, suddenly, he cried out sharply and threw his head back. His entire body tensed and clamped down on Duo. His milky white semen he thought to catch in his hand.

The sight of Heero reaching his climax – never mind the added sensual pressure of his muscles tightening further around Duo's manhood – sent him hurdling over the edge. He moved his hands up to grip at Heero's hipbones and hold him tightly in place, arching his own back off the bed. He had his mouth open in a silent moan, his vocal cord failing to produce any sounds other than the pathetic whimper that followed when he slumped back down onto the mattress.

He averted his eyes to the ceiling, guilt already seeping in. He blinked away the tears in his eyes when Heero leaned in for a chaste kiss on the lips. They weren't tears of sadness and that worried him.

The younger man got up and cleaned them both up, after which he joined Duo in the bed again. The Japanese man rested his head on Duo's chest.

Once their breathing had calmed a silence stretched between them.

Heero's bangs were damp with sweat, Duo could feel them laying across his chest. A warm, even breath spread over his skin, it felt hot, like flames of a wildfire. A hand that lay on his abdomen had its fingers idly move back and forth, until eventually Duo took notice they had stilled. He listened, practically holding his breath. The breathing of the younger man had slowed significantly, his body had slumped against his side, completely relaxed. He had falling asleep, sated and content.

The older one bit his lip. His chest felt heavy, he had trouble breathing. Although he knew the actual weight of Heero's head had nothing to do with it, he was still confident he would feel better if the man wasn't cuddling him the way he was. It was one thing to give into unbridled, carnal desire, it was another to spend the night in each other's arms. He was tasked with the responsibility to make sure they wouldn't gravitate too much towards each other, he had to keep reminding them both this was just a temporary weakness – on both their behalves.

Purposefully loud he asked: "Are you asleep?"

With a slight jolt his neighbor awakened, taking in a deep breath through his nose. He only pushed his naked body more firmly against Duo's side, adjusting his head on the older man's chest. The fingers of his right hand, splayed on the torso, starting moving back and forth again in a gentle, absentminded caress.

Although he had effectively woken the other up, he was still in the same predicament. So he tried: "What time is it?"

Heero must have recognized it as a bullshit question, considering the fact Duo could easily see his alarm clock on his bedside table, whereas Heero's back was turned to the clock. For a moment he didn't say anything and Duo feared he would just go back to sleep, but then he wondered: "Do you want me to leave?"

In spite of the fact that the young man tried to keep his voice neutral, Duo could tell he desperately wanted him to say that he wanted Heero to stay the night. But he couldn't say that, it was unfair to the both of them to pretend that what they had was more than what they agreed it should be. His simple, although he imagined devastating answer was: "Yes."

The body next to his remained unmoving for several heartbeats, but then, with tired muscles, Heero sat upright and scooted towards the edge of the bed. Silently he got half-dressed, gathering the rest of his belongings in his arms. As he headed for the bedroom door Duo couldn't help but feverishly remind him: "Through the back door." He added "please" as an afterthought, realizing what an asshole he was being, but too God-fearing to say what he really wanted to say: that he was already missing Heero's warmth pressed up against him. What good would such a confession do?

The young man froze at the hasty request, but only for a second. Without looking back even once he slipped out the door and moments later Duo could hear the backdoor opening and closing.

He had been willing to put himself through the doubt and the guilt in return for the brief pleasure, but he hadn't been willing to hurt Heero. As it seemed, there was no avoiding that if they continued along their current path. Heero was an adult and should be left to decide for himself, but clearly the young man wasn't thinking rationally and in the interest of his self-protection. Duo couldn't help but feel the other had developed feelings for him – although he couldn't understand what could possibly be the root of his emotional attraction, he couldn't even understand why someone as excessively beautiful as Heero would be physically attracted to a run-of-the-mill, older man, like himself. Those feelings could only prove to be dangerous, they violated the agreed-upon distance. They used condoms, but in the broader sense they didn't exactly have 'safe sex'. What they were doing was potentially very hurtful.

But what was he supposed to do about it? He was hardly capable of calling it quits. He had been powerless to stop any of it, ever since the new neighbor arrived in his beat-up red truck.

In the depth of the night he wished Heero would make the difficult but right decision for the both of them, but he wouldn't do that. He was being led astray by complicated emotions as much as Duo was.

As it stood they were two shooting stars on a collision course and once they would collide the rest of their lives would forever be impacted by their fleeting but violent meeting. There would be no going back for either of them. Heero could move away and Duo could hole himself up in his own home as he always had, but it wouldn't be as it had been before, he wouldn't be able to pretend. He wouldn't be able to go back to his old life the way he had intended, the evidence of Heero having been there and changing things could not be erased, nor ignored. His fingerprints were everywhere; on the glass of wine, on the leather bound back of the old Bible, on his skin, maybe even on his heart. Like a thief in the night. When he would leave, he would leave Duo robbed and stabbed, but forever confused about what was stolen and what was wounded.

He figured he would be up all night tossing and turning in his bed. But when he closed his burning eyes for a quick rest and opened them again, it was light outside. With a grunt he twisted his neck to observe the time on his alarm clock. It was already afternoon.

In the otherwise quiet neighborhood he could hear the dull banging of a hammer, Heero was already hard at work, like nothing had happened. But surely the neighbor was as aware as Duo was that something had definitely happened and bigger things were ahead.

He was still naked, but the room was warm. He climbed out of bed for a long, pondering shower and then headed downstairs for a breakfast – or lunch, technically – of stale take-out Chinese from two days ago. Another unhealthy decision. He ate over the sink, looking out the window, catching glimpses of Heero walking in and out of the house through the kitchen door, carrying wooden paneling with him.

A shiver went through him watching the young man work. Every time he blinked he saw a quick, barely perceptible flash of the way Heero had looked the night before; sweat on his forehead, his hair moving, his mouth open, pink tongue occasionally wetting his lips. He could still hear his raspy moans and his high-pitched cries. He could still… feel him.

Even though he had jerked off in the shower, he got hard again. It seemed that now that his body knew what Heero felt like, his tongue knew what Heero tasted like, his ears knew what Heero sounded like, he yearned for more. Yes, there was that word again; yearning.

He kept wanting more, even when he clearly shouldn't. Part of him wanted to crash into Heero at the speed of sound, having both of them shatter into a million pieces to the point where one could not discern what had been Heero from what had been Duo, but instead the parts of them becoming pieces of the same puzzle.

The realization startled him. He moved away from the window, back to his trusted, comfortable, safe chair. He pulled his knees up and rested his chin on them. He grabbed a random book, resting most of the weight on his bare feet as he leafed through the pages. He wasn't really reading, he lacked the focus, but certain words jumped out at him, anchoring his thoughts. Words like 'doubt', 'mistake' and 'weakness'. He couldn't shake them from his mind.

The pages kept turning, slipping from his thumb and falling over to the other side. As the story reached its end, with only four pages left until he was only holding the hard back cover, an entirely different word leaped from the paper and stuck to his conscience: 'Love'.

Duo put away the book and rubbed his hands over his arms, trying to ease away the goosebumps that had suddenly formed. He didn't know what to think anymore, or what to believe. He wanted to be with Heero. He wanted to talk to Heero, he wanted to hold Heero, he wanted to kiss Heero and he wanted to have sex with Heero again. Those were desires that he knew could possibly be a symptom of love, but love was not supposed to feel the way he felt at that moment. Love was only ever the way it was supposed to be when it was a love approved of by God, that was what his mother had taught him. And his father had always hammered in: When something feels wrong, because God has condemned it, then it is wrong. That used to be such a clear guideline by which to live his life, but things weren't so clear-cut when the thing you know to be wrong… actually starts feeling right. What was Duo supposed to do about that? He knew he was disrespecting the memory of his family and disobeying the wishes of his Lord, but in certain moments – more and more frequently – there was a defined discrepancy between what he knew and what he felt. The previous night, when Heero was with him and commanding voices from the past faded to undiscernible white noise, it had felt good, it had felt right. It felt like something that was always supposed to happen, was finally happening. It felt like a destiny reaching fulfillment. Although guilt had crept in since, thanks to his God-fearing conscience castigating his actions, he could not deny that in the moment it had not felt wrong.

So what was one of faith to do when something felt right in spite of it being condemned by God?

Duo could find no simple answers. He was sure that if his father was still alive he would have some one-dimensional advice to resolve the issue, completely disregarding personal feelings. But for whatever reason Duo found he was not as steadfast as his father had been where religion was concerned. Nothing had ever made his father doubt the righteousness of their faith and for a long time there was no doubt in Duo's mind either.

Heero had succeeded in making Duo doubt. That in itself alluded to the possibility that there was something more, something special and something that could not be ignored about his attraction to the younger man. 'Love'? A guilt-ridden, Godless love? If a genuine love between two men – Godless or not, guilt-ridden or not – is possible, what did that mean?

Before he even realized it, the day had come to an end. The sun dipped lower and lower until it peeked under the wrap-around porch and cast warm orange shapes on the hardwood floors.

While he had been caught up in his own thoughts, he had completely neglected Heero the entire day. Considering what had transpired that previous night and how insensitive he had been in the aftermath of their union, not speaking to his neighbor and lover was decidedly not the gentlemanly thing to do.

With his thoughts more organized albeit no less confusing, he finally ventured outside, nervous butterflies fluttering in his stomach. Walking up to the front porch of the neighboring house where Heero was shuttling excess pieces of wood from his front door to the back of his old, red truck, Duo felt like a teenager walking through the corridors of the school building, approaching a high school crush. It reminded him of Anthony and how pleasantly nervous he always felt when he was around his childhood friend and object of his youthful and naïve attraction, but surprisingly, it didn't make him feel sad. It didn't make him miss Anthony, nor project the despair of that situation onto the present. In fact, it reassured him. If his feelings for Heero could be sincere and natural, in spite of what his religion claimed, than the same was possible for the feelings he had harbored for Anthony. For it to potentially not have been misguided lust, relieved him, considering that their budding relationship changed Duo's life and cost Anthony his.

Heero must have noticed his approach as he crossed the lawn towards the porch, but he didn't acknowledge him, probably bitter about being sent off in the dead of night and then being ignored all day. On top of that he was probably worried about what Duo was about to tell him, given their history of going back and forth. With gloved hands he gathered up more of the splintered, leftover wood and carried it to his truck, walking right by Duo without a word.

The older man stood on the lawn, not far from the abused 'STOP PROP 8' sign that the young man still refused to take down. He noticed the wood was thrown into the back of the truck a little more powerfully and angrily than the previous handful. Heero's temperament was part of his youth and likely part of what drew Duo to him. Sheepishly, he started: "Hey."

Heero finally looked at him, stomping past him for the last few pieces of surplus wood.

"I shouldn't have waited until now to come see you," The older man admitted.

The renovator threw the pieces into the back of the truck from a few feet away. "So why did you?" He bit.

"I had some thinking to do."

Heero came to stand in front of him, his hands on his hips, clearly preparing to be rejected once more and bitter and angry in the face of it. "And?"

"And I'm here now, aren't I?" Duo tried to reassure him with a smile.

He maintained his glare for a few more heartbeats before his expression softened with evident relief and he eventually mirrored the smile shyly. "Yeah…" He took a step forward but caught Duo's warning look. They were in the front yard, the whole neighborhood could see them and the American was sure at least one of them would be watching closely. Relena had distrusted Heero on principle from the start and had started to become equally suspicious of Duo since he stood up for the new neighbor at the meeting of the Neighborhood Association.

The Japanese man sighed and then focused on the task of taking off his gloves. He tucked them into the back of his jeans. "Did you eat?"

It was already getting late but he hadn't gotten around to dinner yet. "No."

"There's Thai food on the way, it'll be more than enough for both of us. If you want."

Duo smiled again, warmly. "I'd love to join you."

"Okay." The young man's mood was instantly lifted. "Come on inside. Would you like a beer?" He turned around and started towards the front door.

Duo followed him, with red, hot cheeks he couldn't stop his gaze from traveling down Heero's lithe body and focusing on his shapely behind that looked as amazing in the ratty jeans as it did in everything else he had ever seen the other wear. It was kind of marvelous and novel to him that a body could provide another with such pleasure and completion, he had never experienced that before. It felt like a wonderful gift. He shamefully had to admit he was looking forward to the next time he would be unwrapping that incredible present.

They had reached the steps of the porch and were about to head inside, where – once the door was closed – Duo could finally give into his oddly specific desire to touch the warm, glowing skin on the back of Heero's neck, but then a car pulled into the driveway and they both turned around to look.

Duo had expected to see a delivery van of a Thai food restaurant, but instead a white sedan was parked behind the red truck. The door swung open and the driver got out of his vehicle. He paused on the driveway, looking right through Duo as he stared at the Japanese man.

Warily Duo eyed the tall, dark and handsome man. Wavy, shoulder length hair framed a golden, square face. His deep set, onyx eyes were… smoldering.

He walked up to them and stopped at the bottom of the steps, looking up at Heero with amazement and unbridled glee.

Duo frowned at the exotic Adonis who completely ignored his very existence.

"Heero," The mysterious man breathed in a pleasant, tenor voice. His gaze moved up and down repeatedly, openly feasting on the sight of Heero. "You look great." He let out a single chuckle at the gross understatement that Duo recognized it to be. Tall-dark-and-handsome rightfully amended: "You look beautiful." He nodded at the torn up jeans and thin, white cotton shirt with stains of colored paint. "It's a good look on you."

Duo looked back at Heero and noticed the younger man's absolutely stunned expression; he was shell-shocked.

Rudely, Duo inserted himself. Addressing Heero in hopes of jolting him out of his trance he demanded: "Who is this?" He didn't resort to vulgar terms but he was sure they both understood that 'who the fuck is this?' was implied.

"I'm sorry…" Heero started clumsily after a long silence. "Duo, this is Marc, an old friend of mine I told you about. Marc, this is Duo, my… neighbor."

Marc? The friend he had been told about?

He remembered the conversation clearly, it still gave him chills. Heero, in a quiet voice, telling him how much he loved his old friend – Marc –, who refused to love him back. The old friend – Marc… - that ended up having drunken sex with his anyway, giving him false hope. The old friend – Marc! – who beat him up and Heero had let him, because it was the only way he knew how to get over his love for him.

'He hit me again, so hard that I fell to the floor. That's when he started kicking me and I let him, I did nothing to stop him, I didn't even try to shield myself. I needed him to hurt me so I could resent him for it.'

The old friend innocently turned to the American and reached out his hand for a proper introduction. "Marciano Damaasio," He said with a dripping, Italian accent. With his friendly smile he didn't resemble the monster Duo had envisioned.

Marc.

Suddenly – surprising Heero and Marc as much as he did himself – he coiled his arm and launched his balled fist towards the tanned face. His knuckles connected with Marc's jaw with a dull but satisfying thud. Marc's head twisted away as his face absorbed the blow. Only because the man had been so utterly caught off guard and unprepared did the punch affect him as much as it did. The man was taller and more muscular than he was, yet he stumbled backwards, nearly losing his balance. He cupped his offended jaw in his large hand and spat some blood onto the grass.

"Jesus, Duo!" Heero pushed past his neighbor and lay a soothing hand on Marc's shoulder while he inspected his abused features with clear concern.

Marc straightened up and laughed darkly. "Now I see what you meant when you said 'an old friend of mine I told you about'. You told him about our falling out."

Duo was disgusted by the euphemism. "Falling out?" He challenged. "You mean when you beat the crap out of your friend who is half your size?"

"Quite the night in shining armor, this neighbor of yours."

"I'm not just his neighbor, I'm-" Duo stopped himself. "I'm his friend!" Marc couldn't be trusted with the truth about his involvement with Heero, no matter how much he wanted to rub in his face that Heero was his.

Marc wouldn't be fooled, his dark eyes gleamed as he caught the near slip-up and drew the correct conclusions. "His friend," He repeated sarcastically and snorted. He spat again. More blood.

Concerned about his well-being in spite of what the man had done to him in the past, both emotionally and physically, Heero guided Marc onto the porch and to the front door where he turned around to face Duo and said apologetically: "It's better if you just go home. I'll see you tomorrow."

Duo watched the door fall shut and stood nailed to the ground. Evidently, letting Marc beat him up all those years ago hadn't had the desired effect; Heero still had feelings for his old friend, it was plain to see in his protectiveness and sudden dismissal of Duo.

What was Marc doing there after all that time? Obviously Heero hadn't been expecting him.

The American couldn't help but feel Marc had come to realize something about himself that Heero had tried to get him to see all those years ago – which didn't turn out very well – namely that he was gay, something that would not change no matter how much he tried to deny it and, more importantly, that he was in love with Heero.

Now he had come for him.

With Heero still not over him and willing to forgive him for what he had done to him, Duo suddenly felt lost and powerless. Was he going to lose Heero this jerk?

He shook his head. What would it even matter? He reminded himself. Their relationship was of a temporary nature anyway and he had said to himself many times – even that very day – that it would be better if it would end before it could ever evolve into anything more than it presently was. He should be relieved that it was over and that he didn't have to subject himself to the conflicting thoughts and feelings that had been plaguing him ever since Heero moved into the neighboring house.

But the strange thing was, he wasn't relieved, far from it. He was jealous, even angry at Heero for introducing him as just 'his neighbor', even as he was aware the young man might have only done so out of consideration for him and his intention to keep their relationship a secret.

With lead in his shoes and an equally heavy heart he turned around and walked back to his house. He caught Relena standing in the doorway of her house across the street, phone in hand. She had likely been ready to call the police if the singular punch had evolved into a full-blown fight. He bowed his head, hoping she hadn't seen him looking her way, and he disappeared into his house, just as the delivery van of the Thai restaurant arrived.

Behind the locked door he imagined them enjoying dinner together, talking and laughing. He imagined long, intense stares and he shivered when he saw Marc's knuckles brush the warm, golden skin of his Heero's neck, the way he himself had yearned to do.

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><p><strong>I know you must have been hoping for a larger chapter, but this seemed like the most natural place to end it. I hope that in spite of the long wait and the lesser word-count. I think that in spite of the length it is one of the more eventful chapters of this particular story. What do you think about this new complication (a.k.a 'Marc')? <strong>

**Leave a comment. Go ahead, make my day.**


	13. Chapter 13

**Mrs. Passionate: Thanks for reviewing the chapter, I hope you will like this update :)**

**CaseyCuervo: Maybe I could arrange for Relena to get her come-uppance in some way :P**

**Celestinasong: I'm sorry to read you are finding this story farfetched. But how the characters act is based on what I know and that's the best I can do. I, personally don't think it strange for someone of Duo's upbringing to be so extremely in denial and I don't think Heero tricking him is a contradiction, being vulnerable and tricking people are not mutually exclusive, I know that from experience. **

**Ryoko Lamperouge: I'm really happy to read you enjoyed the chapter, I hope this one was worth the wait as well.**

**Hikaru Itsuko: I'm glad you liked it! I hope you will continue to read and share your thoughts with me :)**

**Akumu Nokami: It's been proofread only once, by me. Sorry about that :S But I'm glad you like the chapter regardless.**

**CircleKV12: Thanks for another encouraging review :)**

**JunKiyomi: Thanks for your review, I hope you will enjoy this chapter :) Duo is being annoying, but perhaps there is hope for him?**

**TheSpaz: I'm so sorry about the long wait! :S But thank you for letting me know you are enjoying the story :)**

**Guest: Thank you very much :)**

**ToXicStArCaNdy: True, Heero deserved to throw that punch, maybe he will still get his chance to get revenge? :P Thank you for the review.**

**Zombietdactyl: Thanks so much! I hope you will enjoy this chapter.**

**Maeve Mauvais: Thank you so much! I am, indeed, very relieved to be done with that :P I suspect Duo will frustrate you this chapter as well, but he is getting ready to take a pretty big leap forward. Thanks for reviewing again :)**

**ShenLong: Thanks so much, I'm glad you liked it. **

**Daphie: I hope the long wait hasn't put you off and that you are still excited for this story. Thank you for reviewing and I hope to hear from you again :)**

**CaramelAriana: Duo might need some assistance getting his head out of his ass :P**

**Jeangreymullinsjr: Not a face-to-face meet with WuFei, but they do have a little chat, I hope you'll like it (and the rest of the chapter). **

**Guest: Thanks! I hope you'll like this update.**

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><p><strong>Author's note:<strong>

**This was a challenge, I won't deny that. But I hope you'll enjoy reading this chapter.**

**My intentions are to finish another update (probably for "Thousand Words") before Christmas and hopefully that chapter will be long enough for me to reach 1 million words archived, then I can post that oneshot I've written around New Year's. That way I can give you all proper holiday wishes and thank you for the continued support, because I really do appreciate it. **

**Warning: Sexual content (but not as bad – or good, depends – as you might have gotten used to from me).**

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><p><strong>Love Thy Neighbor<strong>

**Chapter Twelve**

He spent the night. Marc spent the night. His rental car was still in the driveway, he had never left. Duo hadn't slept for even a moment, looking out the windows every couple of minutes, hoping to see only Heero's red truck in the driveway. But when he realized it was three in the morning and the car was still in its exact place, he knew his neighbor must have extended to his guest an invitation to spend the night. It caused him unspeakable jealousy, even though he knew he had nothing to be jealous of. Not because he was confident nothing had happened between Heero and Marc during the night – he was anything but confident, given how easily the young man welcomed the Italian purebred back into his life – he simply had no right to be jealous. Heero and him were not together, he had made sure he understood that, so he had no claim to him. His neighbor was free to do whatever he pleased, he had no obligations to a man who made him shamefully creep out the back door in the dark depth of night.

Duo had absolutely no logical reason to be jealous. But he was. So much so that it was crippling and sickening. He had been staring at the clock on the wall, wondering what hour in the morning would be appropriate to show up on the next door porch and casually suggest a shared breakfast.

Five o'clock?

Five thirty?

Probably not, he thought to himself, using the fingernail of his thumb to pick at his lower lip nervously. The lights in the neighboring house hadn't been switched off until four in the morning.

Duo wondered what they had been discussing – or doing – during practically the entire night. Did Marc apologize? Did he explain himself? Had he come to sweep Heero off his feet the way the younger man had wished he had years ago? And did Heero forgive him? Did he fall into his arms? Did he let tall-dark-and-handsome kiss him… make love to him?

He sighed and pried himself away from the kitchen window. There was nothing to be seen.

Even more powerful than the jealousy was an intense, biting sadness; a grief of some new, unknown kind. Although he always knew that what he had with Heero – whatever it was – was temporary, he didn't expect it to be quite so fleeting. He hadn't expected things to be over this soon and he realized he didn't want it to be over this soon. But what could he really do?

Later in the morning his body tensed up when he finally heard a car door slam shut. He rushed to his downstairs office on the tips of his toes, not really knowing why he felt it necessary to sneak around, it wasn't as if anyone would hear his approach. He peered out the small window overlooking the driveway of Heero's house. Marc was seated in the vehicle, the window was rolled down and he was talking to Heero, who was dressed in a loose-fitting pair of sweatpants and a grey T-shirt that he had clearly slept in. His hair was more tousled than usual as he saw Marc off with tired eyes and a belated, half-hearted wave as the white rental sedan pulled away. He remained standing in the damp lawn as the car drove down the street and out of sight.

Stupidly Duo could not contain his curiosity. He made his way to the front door, stepping into a pair of shoes along the way and headed outside. He was still wearing yesterday's clothes. His step faltered when he noticed Heero was still staring down the street forlornly, but he wouldn't let himself be deterred, he wasn't exactly thinking clearly; experiencing a compelling mixture of that jealousy, sadness and even anger. He felt like he had the right to know what had happened during the night and what Heero was thinking.

The American halted mere feet before his perplexed-looking neighbor as he realized what he was about to do if had taken those final steps, namely give Heero a passionate, desperate kiss. It took his brain a while to readjust and to use his lips for speech instead of affection, during which time the younger man quirked an eyebrow at him. Eventually Duo admitted: "I don't know what to say."

The other shrugged. "Me neither."

The silence was awkward and lasted far too long.

Then Duo blurted out hopefully: "Is he gone?"

Heero looked down the street. "He's just gone back to his hotel, to shower and get a change of clothes. We're going out for lunch later today."

Duo gritted his teeth. He couldn't contain himself, he seethed: "Why?"

Heero narrowed his eyes at him. "He was my best friend."

"Yeah, but generally when someone beats you bloody they lose the best-friend position. If someone sucks at their job, they get fired."

The Japanese man wrapped his arms around himself and looked away. More than anything he seemed angry that Duo didn't understand. "He's not a bad person, he's just been struggling with- He's coming to terms with things now, I don't want to just tell him to fuck off. I'm the one who started all of this for him after all."

"Well, he certainly seems eager to 'finish' what you started."

Heero snapped his head up and glared at him. "Is there something you want to ask me, Duo?"

"I want to know what you two did together all night!"

"We talked!" He shook his head. "Go back inside, Duo," He spat. "The neighbors are watching."

Duo turned around and spotted Relena across the street, having her morning coffee by the window, she wasn't even pretending not to be looking, she stared right at him. When he turned back to face Heero he noticed the younger man was already at his own front door, which he pulled shut behind him. He stormed back into his own house and after pacing back and forth through the living room a number of times he burst out the back door and slipped through the hedge into neighboring back yard. Impatiently he rapped his fist on the window pane of the kitchen door. He could see Heero standing by the sink, clutching the edge of the counter. The young man was startled by the sudden noise coming from the back door. When he recognized Duo he appeared reluctant to open up. He moved to unlock the door and as soon as he opened it to let his older neighbor inside he warned: "I'm not in the mood for a fight, Duo."

"I'm not either!" Duo assured him, although his raised voice was sending mixed messages. "I don't want this," He gestured at Heero's closed off body-language and frustrated scowl. "I want to go back to that night," He knew he needn't clarify when he spotted the slight blush on Heero's cheek. "I want to go back to before I asked you to leave… I don't want to fight."

"Nothing happened between me and Marc last night."

"I believe you."

"Nothing will happen!"

He didn't respond, he wasn't so sure. After all, he had been doing a damn good job at making Marc seem amazing, in comparison to himself. He was being unattractively jealous, petty and possessive.

Heero pushed off the door he had been leaning against and closed the distance between them. He came to stand so closely in front of Duo the other could feel the warmth radiating from his body, even if they weren't touching.

The older man dipped his head, breathing in the scent of Heero's hair and letting his lips brush over the shell of his ear almost imperceptibly. "I don't like the thought of him being alone with you." He admitted with heavy heart. "I don't trust him. I'm afraid he will hurt you." He sucked in a lungful of air when Heero wrapped his arms around his shoulders and hugged him tightly.

Heero whispered in his ear: "The only one who can hurt me at this point is you."

His heart throbbed in response. He was conflicted and concerned. He replied: "I could say the same about you." He held the shorter man tighter to him still and buried his nose in his hair.

With a sigh Heero eventually disentangled himself. "I have to get dressed and go to the gym to take a shower."

"You can shower at my place."

"Are you sure?"

"Of course."

"I promise I'll have a functioning bathroom by next week."

Duo smiled. He actually wasn't too eager for Heero to finish the renovation anytime soon. The longer the project would last, the longer he would be around. It would definitely be better to rip the band aid off and part ways – get it over with – but Duo didn't want that.

At Duo's request Heero followed him through the backyard with a change of clothes and into Duo's house. They both went upstairs; Heero used the bathroom while Duo got changed out of last-day's clothes in his bedroom. Soon he heard water running and he could see steam coming through the ajar door. He was convinced it was an invitation for him to join the other under the hot spray of water, but he resisted, however tempted he was.

Sitting on his bed, halfway through the process of putting on fresh socks he could clearly hear Heero's moans from that night in his head. He crossed his legs awkwardly as he realized the front of his pants was getting uncomfortably tight. When the shower was turned off he felt rushed to deal with his erection before Heero would emerge from the bathroom and he would embarrass himself – even more than he already had. He forced himself to think about the things his parents and his priest had said to him in his youth about the time he was caught kissing his childhood friend Anthony. The painful remarks were a quick remedy for his arousal.

He looked up when Heero stepped out of the bathroom, appreciating his figure in a slim-fitting pair of black jeans, a grey shirt and a casual, navy blue jacket. "You look nice."

Heero quirked an eyebrow.

"Not 'too nice'! That's not what I meant. I just wanted to say… you look good… in clothes… non-working clothes… I… I give up." He shrugged sheepishly. So much for not making a fool out of himself.

Heero laughed. "Thanks."

Another awkward silence settled. Duo was fidgeting and he noticed his neighbor was shifting his weight back and forth from one foot to other, standing there nervously and uncertainly.

The young man promptly decided to step forward and to take a seat on the bed closely next to Duo. Their shoulders rubbed together. "So," He drawled, "This is awkward."

Duo chuckled and nodded in agreement.

Heero drew his hand out of his own lap and placed it on the empty space of mattress to his right, touching the smooth sheets of the tightly made bed. "These are the same sheets."

"I washed them," Duo hurriedly assured him. He didn't dare to disclose that he had decided not to put one of the pillowcases in the washer. He hadn't been able to get himself to get rid of that pinewood-y smell that always hung around Heero which had clung to the fabric. Sometimes his own behavior scared him. Things like spying on Heero and relishing in his scent on the pillow made him feel like a psychopath. He had never acted like that before. The only explanation he could think of was that, as creepy as those antics were, they were the only non-threatening way to stay close to Heero. Nowhere does it say in the Bible that a man can't lie with another man's scent. He shook his head at himself.

"What?" Heero asked curiously.

"Nothing, just thinking stupid things."

"About Marc?"

"No." He grimaced. "But now I am."

Heero shifted closer to him still. "There is no need for you to be jealous of him."

Duo was tempted to argue that he wasn't jealous, but it would be a lie and he knew the younger man would recognize it as such. He kept his mouth shut, biting on the inside of his cheeks, struggling quietly with his feelings.

Trying to make light of the situation, Heero jested: "At least you got to punch him. And you punched him good."

"I've never hit anyone in my life before," He admitted quietly, wringing his hands together in his lap. "But I wanted to hurt him. He deserved that punch."

Heero chuckled.

"He doesn't deserve you," Duo said definitively, looking sideways at the beautiful, golden face of his neighbor, his friend, his lover.

"Why not?"

Duo rolled his eyes, it was obvious, wasn't it? "He hurt you!"

"People lash out when they are cornered. When someone is in denial about who they are, they get defensive… and they can get hurtful." He looked at him meaningfully.

Duo looked away. "I'm not in denial…" He argued halfheartedly. "But even if I was, I would never hurt you like that."

"Yes, you will." The other calmly stated with a sad smile. "And I don't care."

"I would never hit you."

"That's not what I mean." Heero leaned his head on Duo's shoulder and sighed. After a few moments he got up off the bed and gathered his old set of clothes and his towel in his arms. "If you want, you can come join us for lunch."

"I punched the guy," He reminded him dryly.

"So? It might be good for you two to talk."

"I know what you want. Look, just because Marc has apparently come around and is now gay, doesn't mean that having a little chat with him would change me. If he is really capable of that kind of change, than good for him. But I'm not changing. I'm too old to change anyway. And if that is the kind of change you want, than congratulations," He spat, his tone becoming more and more venomous, "You're experiment with Marc has turned out to be a big success. You can just go back to him and reap the benefits of your success."

"You think I turned him gay?"

"I think he thinks you've turned him gay."

"And what about you?" He angrily dropped the bundle of clothes to the floor. "Do you think I can brainwash you into thinking you're gay? Do you think that's what is happening?"

"Maybe! I don't know! Life has certainly become more confusing since you showed up. And what I'm feeling- You make me feel like I- Like I-"

Heero stared at him. "What?"

Like I love you! He thought to himself, but his jaw was thankfully wired shut. He just sat there, with his jaw clenched, his balled fists trembling at his sides. What the young man was doing to him wasn't fair. What he was expecting of him wasn't fair. They had agreed it would strictly be about physical gratification.

With a growl Heero bent forward and with hasty, jerky movements he started picking up his clothes from the floor, cradling them in his arms. Once he had gathered up the last piece he walked out the bedroom door and moments later Duo could hear him leave through the kitchen door.

Duo let himself fall backwards onto the bed with a sigh. All they seemed to be doing was fighting, then making up, only to have an even worse fight. His heart throbbed painfully in his chest. He didn't want to fight with Heero, but there were only two solutions to their constant arguments and he liked neither. One option was to cut their losses, before they would really fuck each other over. But Duo wasn't willing to let go of the young man. The other possible solution would call for Duo to open up to that side of his sexuality, the side that had always been condemned. He couldn't do that either, how could he live with himself if he admitted to being the one thing his God hates most? Or so he had been taught. Religion had been the only constant in his life, the only support that never failed him. It asked him to make sacrifices in return for that support and guidance but to Duo a situation of give and take was only reasonable. To let go of that for something that was so unstable and so risky would most likely turn out to be regrettable. Still, he couldn't stop thinking about it; he couldn't stop thinking about him. He wondered what it would be like if he would dissolve his own barriers and actually let Heero get close to him, let him blanket his darkest, most private parts with his youthfulness, his kindness, his hopefulness, his warmth.

He wondered what it would be like to be free. Freedom was a concept that had always frightened him, which was exactly why he liked the rules of the church and why he spent his life holed up in his house. Freedom he had considered to be synonymous with uncertainty, vulnerability, being out in the open, unprotected. There was never anything in his life that made him feel like he wanted to step outside his mental gated-community. Never before had there been something out there worth reaching beyond the gates for. Now there was Heero. If Duo stayed inside his little fortress there would always be a space between them, a distance which he loathed. But was that love? And even if it was, was that the kind of love worth sacrificing the love of God for?

He sat upright when he heard the old truck next door sputter to life and pull out of the driveway. Heero was leaving for his lunch with Marc.

Marc, too, was out there beyond the gate, standing right by Heero. Nothing stood between them. Nothing would keep them apart in the way that Duo and Heero were kept apart. Which might be what had suddenly caused him to be so annoyed with being behind that metaphoric gate.

He stomped downstairs, hoping to distract himself from his own possessive thoughts. He tried to read a book and he tried to eat, but without much success. His mind could only focus on one thing and it made him lose his appetite.

Desperate – and bored – he found himself with his phone to his ear, listening to the tones until the call was answered.

"WuFei," Said the gruff man on the other end of the line.

"Hey…" He chuckled at himself. "I don't know why I called you." He could practically feel his friend frown.

"What's going on? Hold on a second, I should go to the back."

He waited as he knew his wheelchair-bound friend had placed the phone in his lap so he could go through the backdoor of the store into the small office. He heard him instruct his wife to mind the store and then he brought the phone to his ear again.

"Something is wrong," WuFei concluded.

"You're the only person I can talk to, but you are never going to say the things I wanted you to say."

"Which would be?"

"That I should forget about Heero and focus on God… and my writing."

He snorted. "I agree that you need to focus a bit more on your writing…"

Duo chuckled and thought to himself; always the manager.

"But I definitely don't think you should forget about Heero."

Duo sighed. "My life may depend on it, you should know. He gives me cold sweats and heart palpitations."

"Duo, you know what I am going to say…"

"That I love him?"

WuFei was purposefully quiet.

He groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose between his fingers. "I slept with him," He blurted, ill-advised.

It was quiet for a long time. "Holy shit."

He didn't know why he was telling WuFei this, the Chinese man would only make things more difficult for him, because he was never going to tell him what he wanted to hear.

"Wait, do you mean that as a euphemism for sex or do you mean you just slept in the same bed together?"

"I'm not twelve, Chang!"

"Well, excuse me, but it's been so long one could argue your virginity has grown back, so I just had to make sure."

"We had sex, okay!"

With a teasing tone of voice his long-time friend wondered: "How was it?"

"I'm not going to tell you!" He groaned in embarrassment and then shared candidly: "It was amazing."

"Of course it was, you haven't gotten laid in ten years."

"Seven."

He ignored the matter-of-fact correction and inquired: "So now what?"

Duo shook his head. "You tell me."

"I say: don't wait another fucking seven years."

In a quiet tone he said seriously: "I don't know what to do, WuFei. I can't consolidate what I feel for Heero with what I have been taught about God and religion. It's one or the other, but one I don't want to give up and the other I can't give up."

"Duo, I don't mean to be insensitive. But we've been through this. I don't know what to say, because I feel silly saying the same thing over and over again." He sighed and continued: "But you know what? Maybe that is exactly why you called. You knew precisely what I am going to say and maybe that is exactly what you needed to hear. Not what you want to hear, but what you need to hear," He emphasized.

Duo cradled his face in his hand, knowing what was coming.

"Please go to that church I keep telling you about. Things have changed Duo and you should see that. Sally's parents stopped going to their old church years ago and now they go there. At their old place they preached the same nonsense you've been force-fed all your life, but this church is modern and open-minded. It could help you accept who you are."

The man snorted. "I have a church, you don't just go someplace else because you don't like what's on the menu. My father would die all over again."

"Then let him die all over again. So what if he'll be twice as dead? You are still here, you have to live with yourself."

"I can't just…" Frustrated he searched for the right words to express his conflict, but the most coherent thing he could come up with was: "I can't change."

"You're right," WuFei asserted. "You can't change. You haven't changed. You're still the same as you were when you were seventeen; gay, in love with a boy, but too damn scared to disappoint your parents or your God. You were never straight, because that is something you can't control."

He bit hard on his lower lip. He didn't want to cry, he was worried the Chinese man would be able to hear it in his cracking voice and although he was his best friend, he was too scared to show that kind of vulnerability. "I don't want to be gay."

Through gritted teeth WuFei said: "Tough luck. Deal with it. You keep saying it like it is the worst thing possible, but you know what? It's not! It's not a bad thing and if you would just get your head in order and stop listening to those hate-preaches you would realize that."

"You don't know how hard it is to be the thing you were taught to hate."

"You know what's hard, Duo? Losing control over your legs. Having no sensation below the waist – think about that one! Having a sack of your own shit strapped to the chair you are confined in for the rest of your life."

Duo was taken aback by his outburst. The man had rarely shown emotion, never in that magnitude.

"I'm sorry…" He took a moment to compose himself. "What I'm trying to say is that I know what it is like to hate yourself. What saved me from that is having someone who loves me. You should have the same thing. Heero could be that person for you, that person that loves you and helps you love yourself. So let him."

"I don't even know if Heero really loves me, like that."

"Yes, you do, don't make excuses. I'll even come with you to that church. I might fall asleep during the service, or get struck by lightning, whatever, but I'll go with you."

Duo shook this head. "I have to think about this, I-" He paused when his ears picked up the sound of footsteps on his front porch, apparently he had failed to notice the old red truck pulling back into the driveway. "I have to go, Heero is here."

The doorbell chimed.

"Good. Now remember, don't wait another seven years."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll talk to you later." Before he disconnected the line he thought to thank WuFei, who brushed it off. He got up and hurried to the hallway. He ripped the front door open and was, frankly, more than a little disappointed when his guest turned out not to be Heero.

"Marc," He blurted.

"Marciano," The man corrected, he seemed to thicken his accent on purpose, making him sound more exotic than he likely really was.

Duo looked him up and down in contempt, but the noticeable bruise on his perfectly symmetrical face had the corners of his mouth twitching into a self-satisfied smirk. The man was dressed impeccably, a pair of grey slacks and a pastel blue shirt of the finest material, casually unbuttoned at the collar. The black curls that framed his face moved gently in the cool breeze.

"Where's Heero?" Duo poked his head out the front door and noticed the only car in the neighboring driveway was 'Marciano's' white sedan rental.

"After our lunch he went to get more supplies for his renovation. He said something about bathroom fixtures." He waved his hand dismissively. "I thought that we could have a talk."

"Heero put you up to this?"

He frowned. "Heero doesn't even know I'm here right now."

Not knowing what to do he idled in the doorway, gripping the post in one hand and the doorknob in the other.

"Can I come inside, so we can talk?"

Duo preferred not to have this man step into his sanctuary, but when he looked past the broad shoulder he could see Relena stand by her mailbox, pretending to examine her letters, but he caught her stare. The women was in desperate need of a hobby. She had way too much free time on her hands to spy on and gossip about her neighbors. Not knowing how the conversation would go, it would be better to conduct it in the privacy of his home, so, reluctantly, he stepped aside and gestured for Marc to enter.

He strutted inside and immediately started scrutinizing the interior. A slight smile appeared on his face.

"What?" Duo sneered.

"Well, haven't you noticed?" He asked, barely bothering to mask his condescending tone.

Duo shrugged.

"It's obvious where Heero gets his inspiration for his current renovation."

Duo frowned, he hadn't noticed, not even when he occasionally lent a helping hand.

"It's nice. It's… homely. I can see why it appeals to him."

"Did you come to talk about my décor?" The braided man challenged.

"Clearly I came to talk about Heero." He nodded at the couch. "Can I take a seat?"

Duo looked past him at the white couch and remembered the evening he had sat there with Heero and he had spewed wine all over it. "No."

Marc chuckled. "Alright. Can I sit anywhere?"

Duo looked around, surprised at the memories that had been invisibly etched into every piece of furniture. Heero was everywhere. He didn't want this unwanted guest to taint those memories. "No."

"Fine. I'll stand. We should keep this short anyway."

"I would greatly prefer that, yes." He was mindful to keep his distance. He couldn't rule out that the younger, taller man was looking for revenge for that punch he suffered last night. "So?"

"I'm here for Heero."

"Yeah, I figured that was what the chat would be about."

"No, not just that. I'm here for Heero," He reiterated. "I made a mistake when I let him go. I was confused. I'm not anymore. I want Heero to come with me. I want us to have the kind of relationship he always wanted us to have."

Duo looked down at the hardwood floor. "Why are you telling me this? What do I have to do with this?"

"You're the one thing that would stand in our way. Heero likes you. He won't leave as long as he believes he has a chance with you."

"Well… Than… That's his decision," He retorted with a slight smirk.

"Don't you think you should be fair to him?"

Duo frowned at him.

"I understand your struggles, Duo, it was the same for me-"

"What did Heero tell you?" He interjected.

"Nothing, it is plain for everyone to see. You like him, but you're not ready. Just like I wasn't ready. But I am now. I am years ahead of you. Don't you think Heero has waited long enough? Do you really want him to have to wait for you to be ready?"

Duo eyed him suspiciously.

"Duo," He made a face at saying the odd name out loud, "I'm sure you're a nice guy. Heero certainly thinks so and he's usually right about people."

Except you, the American thought to himself.

"But you got out of the gates too late. You're not going to catch up with me before the finish line."

Duo rubbed his eyes at the obnoxious metaphor, still he couldn't deny the truth behind what Marc was saying. His entire body tensed up when Marc unexpectedly laid a hand on his shoulder.

"Don't you agree you should just save yourself the trouble and do this at your own pace? As opposed to rushing yourself to get ahead of me? I didn't do this at full sprint either, you know? I took my time." He removed his hand and shrugged. "I just had a head start, that's all." He offered a smile. "In a couple of years you'll be ready and there will be a… nice man for you, I'm sure of it. Someone your own age."

Duo glared up at him at the poorly veiled insult.

He raised his hands in surrender. "No offense. But come on, you have to agree with me. How old are you?"

The innocent enough question felt like a punch in his gut. "That's none of your business."

He smirked, the glint in his eyes revealed his thought-process: only old people refuse to say their age. "Heero is twenty-five. Twenty-five," He emphasized.

"Don't talk to me like I'm senile!" Duo barked, taking a step back.

"You have to admit it's not a good fit. Heero moves around constantly, he is always in motion. You are obviously," He pointedly looked at the vast collection of books, "settled. What happens when an unstoppable force meets an unmovable object?" He laughed at himself. "That isn't exactly a correct analogy, but I think you understand what I'm trying to say."

Duo nodded slowly.

"Don't we both have Heero's best interest at heart?"

He narrowed his eyes at the Italian, not sure if he was really taking Heero into consideration. His actions seemed more selfish than anything. One thing was glaringly obvious to Duo, neither of them were a good match for Heero, albeit for very different reasons. Neither of them was good enough for him.

Marc sighed and looked down at his watch. "I should go, before Heero comes back. We can keep this between us, right?"

He nodded dumbly.

"Great. Think about what I said, okay?" He excused himself and let himself out through the front door.

He remained standing in the hallway, nailed to the hardwood floor. He was utterly lost in thought, but he couldn't make any sense of it. A meaningless mist of words and feelings surrounded him.

Him and Marc were both selfish, he eventually managed to distill from the foggy mess of his mind. Heero would be better off without both of them. But Marc wasn't going to relent for the sake of Heero. He felt it was his duty to protect Heero from Marc – and from his feelings for Marc, whether or not he realized he was still inexplicably drawn to the angry drunk. Duo's motivations weren't entirely pure, he simply couldn't stand the thought of losing Heero to that sly, smug asshole, not even when he knew 'losing Heero' was a natural conclusion to their story. He was not going to forfeit this figurative 'race' Marc spoke of, he wasn't going to give him the pleasure. If Heero wasn't going to make it difficult for him to weasel his way back into his life, than Duo sure as Hell would.

He loitered in his house occupying himself with small tasks, trying to create some kind of order and organization in the excessive amounts of books; the volume of which spilled well beyond the confines of the wall of bookcases and onto every readily available, flat surface around the house, even the floor. He was just going through a particularly dusty stack in a corner by a dying potted plant when he heard the familiar sputter of the old truck of his neighbor. Wasting no time he shot up and headed out the back door, crossing the lawn to the back of the yard where the hedge was still thinned out – getting even thinner in fact, with him and Heero going through there as often as they did. He was genuinely surprised at the fact that the sun had already started to set.

He climbed onto the back porch of the neighboring house even before Heero had made his way through the house, switching on lights as he went. When the young man entered the kitchen, fumbling to flick on the light with plastic bags in each hand, Duo knocked on the door.

Heero put away the bags on the kitchen counter before approaching the door and unlocking it. He didn't even bother opening the door for his neighbor, instead moving back to the counter to unpack Chinese take-out from one of the bags. The others had the brand names of home depots on them. With his back turned towards his guest, who let himself inside, he wondered matter-of-factly: "Would you like some? There's plenty, I couldn't decide if I wanted the sweet and sour pork or the kung pao chicken, so I got both…" He yelped when suddenly Duo was flush behind him, wrapping his arms around him and stroking his hands across his torso.

Fuelled by primal, unbridled lust Duo was able to put aside his inhibitions and concerns and follow the signals that his body and Heero's body were giving him. He rocked his groin against Heero's ass, quickly reaching a full state of arousal. Looking over his shoulder he smelled the Chinese food, he could see Heero gripping the edge of the counter, bracing himself, and he could hear his favorable moans. With one hand on Heero's chin he gently coaxed the younger man into turning his head so he could kiss him. Heero raised his arms and reached back, taking a tight hold of the base of Duo's braid.

"What's gotten into you?" Heero moaned between kisses and then let out a breathy chuckle. "I like it." He gasped when Duo reached both hands under his shirt, caressing the smooth skin over his taut abdomen before moving up. His touch was inexperienced, yet effective. The young man arched his back at the sensations when Duo eventually figured the best way to illicit his moans and gasps was to roll the hardened nubs of his nipples between his fingers.

Duo moved to nuzzle the soft hairs at the nape of his neck and kiss the heated skin above his collar. One of his hand dropped down and attempted to open the front of Heero's jeans. He growled in frustration when his uncoordinated hand couldn't master the button fly. Heero took one hand off the counter to aid him but soon sought support with both hands again when the large hand slipped into his pants and fondled his erection through his underwear.

Heero was breathing harshly through his mouth, the sound intermitted by strangled moans, which changed in pitch and frequency when Duo's hand finally pushed inside his briefs.

In the meantime their hips rocked together roughly, the simple friction provided the inexperienced older man with more than enough stimulation. He rested his head on the shorter man's shoulder, letting out raspy groans.

"Duo," Heero started with deep voice. "There are condoms in the bedroom- or… sitting room really."

His remark made the situation seem that much more real and no longer like a fantasy he could later detach himself from. The reality of it made him nervous. He continued to practically pound his pelvis against Heero, replying through gritted teeth: "Don't you think this is enough?"

"I want more, Duo," He moaned pathetically in response. "I want to feel you inside me again."

Duo clenched his jaw, trying to focus on the pleasure rather than getting distracted by the technicality of a condom, but the word alone triggered memories that threatened to ruin the moment. He was reminded of Heero's past, his HIV-scare, his doomed relationship with the platinum blonde Zechs, his affair with carpenter Trowa and his failed attempt at a relationship with his former best friend Marc. Through apparently random spreading activation, he felt himself starting to get less aroused. Those failed loves had hurt Heero deeply, he didn't want to hurt Heero like that, but it was happening, it was inevitable. He hated that. He hated himself for that. But how could he prevent this from becoming another heartbreaking, failed romance for the younger man? It seemed too late to stop it, if WuFei was right about Heero's feelings.

"Don't you want to fuck me?" Heero mewled temptingly, not yet aware of the shift in demeanor occurring behind him.

The pace of his hips slowed, his hand down Heero's pants stilled. He took his hands off his heated body and staggered backwards.

Heero turned around on shaky legs, leaning against the counter with the small of his back, hands seeking purchase on the edge on either side of his hips. "Do you want me to get them?" He asked breathlessly, with a dark blush on his cheeks and hooded, passionate eyes.

"What?"

Heero pushed off the counter. Not bothering to repeat his question he stated: "I'm going to get the condoms."

"No, don't."

The young man stared at him.

"I don't know what I'm doing."

Heero turned his head away. He knew where this was going. With shaky fingers he started buttoning up his jeans. Once he was done with the task he wiped a hand across his face, perhaps to wipe away tears as he was clearly upset by the turn of events.

"Heero-"

"Just end it, Duo!" Heero snapped. "Go ahead, end it!"

"I can't…"

"What is that supposed to mean?"

He took a step forward but froze when Heero reeled back. Heero's eyes were wild. Carefully, Duo asked: "Do you love me?"

He narrowed his eyes at the American. "Fuck you."

"Do you?" He pressed.

His shoulders slumped. Defeatedly he admitted: "Yes, I love you, okay!" He covered his mouth with his hand, hiding the trembling lower lip. Then he laughed at himself bitterly. His eyes were definitely welling up. "Another brilliant decision on my part."

"Will you come to church with me?"

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><p><strong>Arghh! This was such a difficult chapter to write! But in spite of the constant back-and-forth I feel the pieces are finally set on the board in a way where everything can advance forward.<strong>

**Let me know what you think about this chapter. **


	14. Chapter 14

**CaseyCuervo: Hope you'll like this update!**

**Jeangreymullinsjr: I'm so happy to read you are enjoying the story. Sorry for the long wait and the short chapter, but I hope you'll enjoy this read. Thank you for your review!**

**Hikaru Itsuko: Thank you for reading and reviewing again :)**

**Anonymous: Sorry about that, the first I must have overlooked, the then/than might be an actual grammar-mishap on my part, I still F those up one occasion :S**

**Chocolate-Covered-Coffee-Beans: Thank you :)**

**CircleKV12: Glad to read you are still enjoying the story, I hope you will like this chapter.**

**ToXicStArCaNdy: I always try to approach my stories and characters with as much realism as possible, so I'm happy to read you appreciate that. I can only hope I won't disappoint you and that you will enjoy the continuation of this story. Thank you for your review.**

**Akumu Nokami: I'm glad you are still reading and enjoying the story, I wonder what you think of this update, I hope you'll like it. **

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**Guest: Thank you very much :)**

**Rorasmama: I liked the idea of reversing the typecast roles of Duo and Heero for once, I'm glad you seem to be enjoying it as well. I hope you will like this new installment of the story. Thak you for your review.**

**Starrylady: My apologies for the long wait, but I hope you will like this update. Thank you for posting a review.**

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><p><strong>Author's note:<strong>

**I apologize for taking this long to update, I had been doing so well up until now with faster updates, but this story was surprisingly difficult to continue. I felt like the story was losing direction, I hope I can get in on track again.**

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><p><strong>WARNING: Sexual content. If you feel I have violated ff guidelines, please let me know and I'll adjust the content accordingly, I don't wish to offend.<strong>

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><p><strong>Love Thy Neighbor<strong>

**Chapter Thirteen**

The next Sunday morning they were on the road. Heero had insisted on being the one to drive and Duo had let him, even though a banged-up pick-up truck might not be the most presentable vehicle to take to church. He understood Heero's need for some kind of control in the situation. Going to a church service was completely novel for him and his anxiety was evident. Duo himself was on edge as well. He had been avoiding services for a handful of years and since he hadn't been to this particular church before, he didn't know what to expect. All he knew was tales of fire and brimstone, punishment and subjugation. Those words were not what they needed to hear. Of course this was a different kind of church, as WuFei had said, but it was the unknown factor that scared him even more so, he had no idea what to be prepared for and he had no idea what exactly he had invited Heero along for.

The quiet had existed between them for so long during the ride that it had reached a point where Duo feared to speak precisely because it had been silent for so long. He stole sideway glances at the driver and noticed Heero's fingers tightly wrapped around the steering wheel, his arms outstretched and stiff. The younger man was looking up ahead with such focus he didn't really seem to be paying much attention to the traffic directly surrounding them, but Duo wasn't about to call him out.

Heero had exchanged his regular cut-off and torn-up jeans for a pair of neatly pressed black slacks and wore a thin, crisply white button-down shirt, with a slim, black tie. It was too warm for jackets. Duo stared at the thin material of the shirt and listened to the rustle whenever Heero shifted gears. The fabric moved over his arms and where the cotton curved inward he could see a hint of the golden hue of Heero's skin shine through.

"Should I have worn something else?"

Duo was startled by the sudden question and felt his cheeks go red when Heero made eye-contact.

The Japanese man looked down at himself and repeated: "Should I have worn something else? I didn't know what was appropriate or not, but this was the only clean, decent shirt I had."

Noticing his genuine insecurity Duo assured him that he was dressed perfectly fine.

"Yeah? You keep looking at my clothes," He pointed out, steering the truck into another lane as their exit came up.

Duo pursed his lips. "Sorry. I guess I'm trying to decide if this looks better on you than your work-clothes." He flashed a grin and was relieved when his lighthearted remark caused a smile to appear on Heero's lips.

"What's the verdict?"

"I think you look better naked." Duo's eyes widened, he was shocked at his own statement, he hadn't intended to say that out loud.

Heero chuckled and then the silence returned. But he didn't allow it to exist for too long. He asked: "Is there something I should know? Church etiquette, or something?"

Duo shrugged his shoulders. They were on a downtown street and must be getting close to their destination. "I don't know. I've never been to this church."

"But services in general?"

"Just be quiet during the sermon and polite to others." Realizing that was hardly helpful advice he elaborated: "Usually the pastor will be at the door, to greet people. Since we're newcomers, he'll probably take the time to get to know us a little. And he might talk to us afterwards as well. They always want new guests to become regulars. It is a business after all, their church runs on donations from their flock, so they benefit from having a larger group of members."

Heero nodded, listening attentively.

"The other church members will probably ignore us, or be downright rude." He shook his head, "I remember how my mother and father got whenever someone new came to church, they treated them like unwelcome guests."

"And what do we say when anyone asks how we know each other?" He glanced at Duo.

The older one didn't respond and instead pointed at a sign on a street corner. "There. It's to the left."

Within two minutes they arrived at a small parking lot in front of a boxy-looking building that resembled an old school more than it did a church, but there was a big cross by the main entry. The parking lot was nearly full though and there were a number of people just outside the door; men dressed in neutral trousers and pastel shirts and women in wavy, floral dresses and hats.

They remained seated in the car and observed the group apprehensively through the windshield from across the parking lot and it was unmistakable that the group was stealing looks at the unfamiliar, red truck.

"You said this place was different, right?" Heero verified, a nervous tone to his voice. "Someone like me would be welcome here?"

Duo noticed his careful choice of words – 'someone like me' as opposed to 'someone like us'. He put his hands over Heero's that was still clutching the gear shift. "WuFei assured me this was a good place to go."

He nodded stiffly.

Simultaneously they opened the door and stepped out of the vehicle. The passenger side door creaked when Duo closed it and he winced at the shrill sound that only drew more attention to them. Heero and Duo exchanged a look before walking up to the main entry. The group of men and women parted to let them through, interrupting their quiet conversation for polite greetings.

They stepped through the doors into a hallway. A sign directed them to the auditorium to the left and they walked through the open doorway.

Duo looked around and couldn't hide his disappointment. The facilities really had originally been for a school or an even center. The square room with low, paneled ceiling and big windows had been gracelessly converted into a place of worship. Rows of mismatched, second-hand pews had been aligned to face the make-shift alter at the back; a raised platform with a speaker's stand in front of a piano, an arrangement of wildflowers and a modern, simplistic wooden cross. On the wall was a large banner with the words:

Love all. Accept all.

That sentiment certainly didn't mirror Duo's past teachings.

Several people had already taken their seats in the pews, occupying the first few rows. Unlike the gathering outside – men and women of exactly the type Duo remembered seeing at church – the crowd was diverse, spanning races and ages and some of them had a decidedly alternative look to them; oddly colored or cut hair, piercings and tattoos and outspoken fashion.

He started to fret when a tall, lanky man walked up to them with his long arms spread out in a welcoming gesture; the pastor. He was dressed in an all-black suit. His shaved head was glossy. His teeth were insufferably white as he smile amicably.

"Welcome," He said, revealing his voice to be a pleasant, smooth baritone. He extended his arm and shook Heero's hand first. Heero seemed eager, perhaps overly so. He was all smiles as he introduced himself, clearly the setting had put him at ease. Duo was a little more cautious and unconvinced, but shook the man's hand politely, stating his name.

"It is always good to see new faces," He expressed genuinely. "My name is Djimon Essien, I founded this church and I perform the sermons." He gestured at a table by one of the windows where home-made treats were on display. "Have you had breakfast?"

"Yes," Duo ground out uncomfortably.

"Feel free to take some after the service, then, otherwise it would be a waste."

Duo nodded in agreement, far too fervently, betraying his discomfort.

"Is this your first time at church?" He asked the both of them.

"No," Said Duo.

"It is for me," Heero admitted in embarrassment.

"What made you decide to come today?"

"Uhm," Heero rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. "A friend recommended this place to us. WuFei Chang."

The pastor nodded. "Ashley and Bill's son-in-law." Ashley and Bill were Sally's parents, Duo knew.

"I'm not sure what to expect though. This is all new to me. I'm a little intimidated," The Japanese man confessed.

The pastor put him at ease. "Don't worry. I understand your apprehension but you'll see you have nothing to fear. I give a sermon about a different topic each week, sometimes one of the members of our congregation has something to say and we pray."

"In all honesty I should probably tell you that I'm not sure if I believe in God," Heero said in a hushed whisper and Duo felt embarrassed that the younger man had just said that the pastor.

"And yet you are here," He stated with a smile, "I think that's the most important thing. As long as your intentions are pure, you are always welcome here. Many people aren't sure whether or not they truly believe when they first come to church. They haven't allowed themselves to give it any thought. People are oftentimes embarrassed, or put off by some of the more radical, outdated teachings. I can only hope that the experience will have meaning for you and perhaps, if you keep your mind and your heart open, you can start to believe."

"Thank you."

"Thank you, father," Duo chimed in.

"What about you? You said you've been to church before."

"Yes, but a proper church." He bit his lip at the unintended slight. "I mean…"

The pastor nodded. "I get it." He looked over his shoulder at the space, from the worn carpet to the water damage on the ceiling. "It doesn't look like much but we don't judge here and we hope that, in turn, we don't get judged either."

Duo nodded. "I'm sorry, father. I meant no disrespect."

The pastor unexpectedly placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Do not fret. Please, take your seats, I will start the service shortly. I would like to talk to you afterwards as well, if you don't mind."

The two agreed and then walked past him and took a seat on the wooden pew, one of the last rows. There were worn copies of the Bible and leaflets with the lyrics to a selection of hymns. Heero picked up the modestly styled leaflet and scanned the text interestedly. Duo watched the people come inside and take their seats, including the group that had been outside previously. The pastor took time shaking everyone's hand and with some he exchanged brief, soft-spoken words. When everyone was seated a volunteer closed the door and the pastor walked up to the front and stepped onto the raised platform.

Heero wiped his hands on his thighs and sat on the edge of his seat. His eyes were wide with curiosity and Duo found his interest and openness endearing, although he himself had been less impressed with the 'church' thus far.

Pastor Essien greeted his flock, his smooth voice enhanced by the microphone. The ebb and flow of his tone was soothing as he spoke. His chosen topic was worldly, recalling news broadcasts of the past few weeks, especially the past few days, regarding suicide bombings in the middle East. He paused to say a brief prayer for the many victims in the past year alone. When he continued, he said:

"Almost all Americans denounce these acts of violence that are committed in the name of religion. We watch it on the television and we judge 'them'," He emphasized the word. "Yet we turn a blind eye to the barbarity that we, ourselves, are guilty of. We discriminate others. We violate the rights of others. We look down on others. We punish others. And we unjustly use the words of the Bible as both our shield and sword. We seek not to changes ourselves, we seek only to change others. We view the world through binoculars, everyone else's flaws are enhanced while our own are out of focus. We fail to realize we have no control of what happens overseas, or even across from us at the dinner table. We have only the power to change ourselves for the better. But this is hard work and hard work is out of fashion. Tradition is lazy; all that is required of us is to follow the set norm and command others to do the same. It is easier to wield the whip than to suffer the cracks along your bare back."

He paused and stared at the quiet faces. "What this mentality breeds is stagnation and hatred. We refuse to change ourselves, stalling our own growth and maturation. And we aren't capable of changing others, in spite of our mislead attempts, culturing frustration, disappointment, intolerance and eventually resentment."

Duo glanced sideways and observed Heero to be rather shocked by the hard-hitting words.

"Love thy neighbor," The pastor paused for effect. "That's what it says in the Bible." From memory he read aloud: "You shall love your neighbor as yourself. There is no greater commandment."

Duo saw heads bobbing up and down in wordless agreement.

"Let go of what the other does. Accept him and love him. Even when his ways are different. Even when his ways are flawed. Look to yourself for betterment of the world. Focus your attention, instead, inward, on your own flaws and improve on yourself. Don't just assume that the path your walking on is the right way because this is the way your mother, or your father, or anybody else has walked. Question the chosen path and have no shame or fear when you realize the direction is wrong. Blaze a righteous path and pray that your footsteps are followed." He stared at his audience and asked. "Which one of you was raised based on traditionalist views?"

Many raised their hands and Duo recognized he should have also, but he was too afraid to be singled out.

Djimon nodded. "How many of you have lived your life in a way that tradition would condemn?"

Nearly everyone raised their hand and Duo was somewhat amused when he noticed Heero raising his arm also.

"But were you actually wrong?"

People shook their heads and soft no's resounded.

"But have you been judged and cast out anyway?"

Many nodded.

"Five years ago a boy from this town was beaten to his death because he was gay… by his own father. This man is, of course, in jail now, but I've heard people of faith defend his actions and actions like it. Some people, even here, in the land of the free, are so misguided by twisted teachings that they would rather accept a man murdering his own son, than accept a young, innocent boy who fell in love with another boy. Violence is condoned and love is condemned, in the name of the Lord?" His face twisted into an expression of disgust. "Recognize when the path is wrong," He stressed "and enable the only change you can to better the world; the change within yourself."

He continued his speech of self-motivation but Duo wasn't sure how he felt about his words. His biggest concern being: how do you decide if the path is wrong? Duo never felt he had the authority to make decisions like that and it was a comfort to know that it wasn't his decision to make; the rules had been laid out very clearly. How does one distinguish right from wrong without any benchmarks? The pastor seemed to be promoting people to just do whatever felt right, putting way too much emphasis on our emotions and instincts. That kind of path could only lead to chaos because it would take everyone in a different direction. Or was that the point?

Heero appeared enthralled by the pastor's words and after the speech he politely folded his hands together as the room joined the pastor in prayer for a church member's son who was stationed overseas in Afghanistan.

When the service was over people crowded pastor Essien to thank him for his encouraging words. Duo and Heero remained seated in the pew, too lost in their own thoughts to speak yet.

"Heero. Duo." Essien greeted them once he had sent off most of his flock. "You both seem a little shocked."

"I thought you said some very powerful things," Said Heero. "It gave me a lot to think about."

"I can only hope that my words inspire some good. What about you, Duo?"

"I don't know what to think yet, Father," Duo replied. "It was… different. For sure."

"I haven't offended you, have I?"

"No, I'm not offended. Just confused."

The pastor nodded and smiled. "Confused is not a bad starting point. When we are confused we make an effort to inform ourselves in search of the answers. Confusion is the starting point from where we pursue knowledge."

"I don't understand how you expect us to know right from wrong when you say we can't just blindly use the accepted definitions of the two."

"Well, I believe these definitions are evolving, by nature. Things that used to be considered wrong, are logically no longer and vice versa. I warn people to not hold on to definitions that are decades, or even centuries old. I admit it is not easy by any means to figure out right from wrong, but I implore everyone to never stop questioning." He chuckled breathily. "I wish I could give you more concrete advice, as that is what you seem to desire from me. But do not look to me for the answers. If anything, look to me for the questions and find out the answers for yourself."

"I guess it's hard for me to understand how something can be wrong at one point, or right at one point and then end up being the opposite. That doesn't seem like progress to me, that seems like people always looking for the path of least resistance."

The pastor leaned back against the backrest of the pew in front of theirs and replied: "Let me ask you this: do you think it is okay for a teacher to beat a disruptive child with a ruler?"

He shook his head. "No of course not."

"Do you think it is helpful?"

Having suffered abuse at the hands of many in his childhood, he could confidently say: "No."

"Do you agree, however, that it used to be accepted for a teacher to use corporal punishment on a student?"

Duo nodded.

"It was once accepted – considered 'right' if you will – for a teacher to discipline a student using physical force. Nowadays this is unacceptable. Something that was once right, is now wrong. I don't believe this is because we are looking for the easy solution. Rather, we have evolved and we have learned from our past mistakes and we have realized that hitting a child in class does not promote the behavior you wish to achieve, it is only harmful. That, I think, is progress. A kind of progress that is necessary in many more aspects of our lives."

"I suppose you are right, Father," Duo said, but he was still confused.

The pastor looked at them both in silence for a moment, before boldly asking: "Might I ask how you two know each other?"

Duo's face went beet red and Heero didn't dare to say anything. Then, finally, the American ground out: "He's my neighbor."

The pastor nodded, but with an informed twinkle in his eyes. "I hope you will both give thought to what we have discussed today and I look forward to seeing the two of you again next week." He walked them to the door and waved goodbye as they climbed back into the red truck.

Heero started the engine and looked over at Duo with some concern evident in his eyes. "Are you okay?"

Duo took a deep breath and then bravely looked at him. "I'm hungry. Let's go get something to eat."

The younger man agreed and he pulled the truck out of the parking lot and they drove for ten minutes looking for the nearest establishment, ending up in a quaint, old-fashioned diner, sitting down in a red, pleather booth. Overhead was the soft, sixties music from the radio and the bustle of the kitchen. A plucky waitress took their order. Heero rolled up the sleeves of his shirt, not wanting to risk a stain. His gaze was far away.

"So you have something on your mind," Duo observed casually when they were served their burgers and fries and large fizzy drinks.

The younger man shrugged his shoulder non-commitally and dipped a fry into the dollop of ketchup on his plate. "Just thinking."

"You seemed pretty impressed with the service."

"I thought it was pretty intense. I suppose he didn't say anything I didn't already know, but for whatever reason his words did register."

Duo took a big bite and asked with a mouth full: "Anything in particular?"

He eyed his plate carefully, purposefully avoiding eye-contact. "That we shouldn't want to change others, not even when we think they are wrong."

Duo chewed thoughtfully. "Are we talking about me?"

Heero looked up, somewhat guiltily. "I think so."

"You want to change me."

"I did," He disclosed. "But I thought I would be helping you. I didn't…" He shook his head. "I guess what he said about it being easier to yield the whip than the suffer the blows really resonated with me. I must admit, I've been so frustrated with you at times, because I just don't understand why you're holding back and denying us both-… But I really have no right. It's easy for me to say that you should open up to all these things, but that is not correct. I shouldn't have such expectations and I shouldn't pressure you." He looked back at the older man with vulnerable, apologetic eyes.

Duo offered him a sympathetic smile. "Just so you know, I don't feel like you are cracking a whip along my back. I feel a little cornered. And a little hurried. But not abused."

Heero nodded, grateful for his reassurance and picked up another fry with ketchup. "What about you? What have you been thinking about?"

"I've been trying to figure out how to marry what he said with what I've been taught. I didn't feel like a sermon to me, not in the least because he mentioned God so little. I find it hard to believe that this is the correct approach to the religion. It was like he was encouraging us to do as we please and that is not what religion is about. I think. Shouldn't religion help you discern right from wrong? He just took the Bible and presented it á la carte; pick whatever you like." His rant caused Heero to tilt his gaze back down to his plate. Evidently he was disappointed that the service didn't cure Duo of his indoctrination, but it had been naïve of him to expect otherwise. Still, he apologized for his negativity. "Maybe I just need to give it more time, let it sink in."

Heero nodded slightly.

"I don't regret coming. And I want to thank you for coming with me."

A smile appeared on his face.

Duo chuckled at the sight of his sweetly innocent expression and finished his burger.

Heero finished his meal as well and licked some ketchup off his fingers. When he noticed Duo watching him closely he smirked and sucked on his ring finger suggestively, but then he laughed at himself, embarrassed and wiped his hands with a paper napkin. "Ready to go home?"

"Yes," Duo replied a little too quickly. He paid for lunch and then followed Heero out the door and back into his truck.

Seated next to each other, the silence returned. Duo looked out the window thoughtfully, running through the sermon in his head once more. Out of the blue he asked the driver: "Do you think I can change?"

"Hm?"

"Do you think I can change?" He repeated. "Do you believe I can let go of what I've been taught and… become…- Do you?"

He glanced his way somewhat wearily. "Yes, I think you can." He adjusted his grip on the steering wheel. His fingers were a little more tense and tendons stood out in his wiry arms as he added: "However, I'm not convinced you want to change."

Duo sighed. "I'm not sure. Maybe."

He continued observantly: "You've had twenty years to change and yet you haven't. I'm not so full of myself that I believe I'm the first guy who came along who made you question things. It's not laziness, like the pastor said."

"What is it, then?"

"Fear."

Duo chewed on the inside of his cheek. The young man was right, he was afraid, afraid of the unknown.

"You know…" Heero started, keeping his eyes focused on the road, "I remember a passage you wrote in your book. You said that life is like a network of dark tunnels and religion is the red yarn that you hold onto; a thread that will always help you find your way back. At a certain point you're out of yarn and that's when you know you can't go any further, not without letting go."

He nodded, remembering writing the words.

"The yarn gives you a sense of safety. You can always go back. But at the same time the yarn will prevent you from ever reaching the end of the tunnel and what if the thing that makes your life complete is at the far end?"

"But you don't know that."

"Exactly, you don't know that. And you never will."

Duo looked down into his lap.

"The way I see it, you are standing in a dark tunnel, holding the yarn in one hand and stretching out the other hand, but there is no more give. You're as far as you can go without letting go." He paused and then concluded: "I don't think it is going to help either of us if I take your outstretched hand and pull."

He looked at him intently, trying to study his face. His brows were pinched together in a focused frown.

"Either you let go of the yarn and you'll end up resenting me for making you let go… Or you'll never let go and we'll both be in that dark tunnel forever." He took one hand off the steering wheel and scrubbed his face and ran his fingers through his hair.

It was silent for a long time, but then Duo responded poignantly: "But I want you to take my hand."

Heero looked over, his mouth was smiling but his eyes were deeply sorrowful. "I can't stand the dark, Duo."

He stared at him lengthily, feeling salty tears prick his eyes and stain them red. He shouldn't want differently from Heero, he should make sure he escaped from those dark tunnels. But for the first time in his life he realized he was afraid of being left behind and the red yarn wasn't enough anymore. He knew the way back, but he knew what was back there, he had been there before, where there was pain, sorrow and loneliness dripping off the jagged walls of black obsidian. Still, to know this and to be able to let go were two different things. After all, he had no way of knowing how much darker things could get if he followed Heero. He didn't know what kind of torment would await them before they would reach the light – if they didn't get lost in the maze.

The surroundings started to become familiar as they drove back to their own neighborhood. Duo remembered the looks he had gotten from his neighbors that morning when he had climbed into Heero's truck. They were on their way to church as well, dressed in their finest outfits. But they had gone to a traditional church, a place that taught them to unfairly despise and to needlessly fear people like Heero. He was aware of the hate that traditionalists could instill in their following. He remembered, from his childhood, coming home from church every Sunday with a new disease to spread and to infect every soul with. Not all churches were like that, some wisely avoided controversial topics, but his neighbors definitely went to a place that wasn't afraid to impregnate the holy water with poison.

The truck jolted to a halt on Heero's driveway. The younger man took his hands off the steering wheel and folded them together in his lap. He stared up ahead thoughtfully. "What do we do now?" He asked.

"Do you need me to tell you?" Duo wondered, it had seemed before like Heero had already made up his mind.

"Yes."

Duo sighed. "I don't know what to say. I don't know what to do." He swallowed audibly and then added: "I don't know what I want but I do know what I definitely don't want."

Heero turned his head to look at him.

"I don't want to follow the red yarn back into my house and stop seeing you."

His eyebrow twitched. "I don't know what that means."

"I don't want it to be over."

"You don't even know what 'it' is," He snapped.

He shot back: "Oh and you do?"

"I know what it is to me!" He shook his head at Duo, frustrated with his obtuseness. "I told you Duo, I love you. It's inexplicable, it's uninformed, it's childish, but it's real." He stared at him, his vulnerable eyes searching Duo's expression for a flicker of anything. "So don't put this decision on me. If you're waiting for me to say the word and break things off with you, I'm sorry, but I can't. I want to! It's what I should do! But I can't! And I keep looking at you hoping that you're going to say something to justify my naiveté… That's how stupid I am!"

"What would you want me to say?"

"At least… at least tell me that you could love me," He emphasized, leaning in. "Tell me that you could, if things were different."

Duo adjusted in his seat to face Heero. "If the world was different; if I was different; I would tell you I love you," He nodded at the STOP PROP 8 sign in the middle of the lawn. "I would probably ask you to marry me some day." A sad smile appeared on his face at Heero's endearingly shocked expression. "But the world is what it is. And I am who I am. You love me because you believe I can change – you love the future me – but I'm not sure if I can ever live up to that."

Heero opened his mouth to say something, but Duo stopped him before he could.

"But I want to," He added sincerely. "I want to try. If you could wait for me just a little bit, to see if I can do it. It's unfair of me to not push you away, to not push you towards someone who is ready. But you make me want to be selfish. The thought of giving up and perhaps losing you to a guy like Marc-" He made a face.

Unexpectedly Heero rushed towards him, leaning over the gear shift and he connected their mouths.

He kissed back instinctively, still as overjoyed as ever by the taste and feel of the young man's mouth, but he quickly realized the danger of the public setting of the kiss and abruptly and awkwardly ended it by leaning back, out of reach.

Heero blinked at him and then apologized softly.

They were both panting. They readjusted in their seats simultaneously, facing forward.

"Let's go inside."

Heero nodded.

"Unlock the kitchen door. I'll come over in a minute."

They both laughed nervously and then climbed out of the red truck and went into their own homes.

Duo leaned back against the closed door to catch his breath. He went to stand in front of the mirror to fix his tie but purposefully avoided eye contact with his own reflection, too afraid of what he might see; not knowing if he would like it, nor if he could stand it.

After giving himself some time he went out the back door and snuck into the backyard of the neighboring house in a way that was, by then, shamefully routine. Even though he had instructed Heero to unlock the door, he still felt compelled to knock as opposed to barging in. When his neighbor opened the door for him, he wasted no time. He pushed the shorter man inside, connecting their mouths and their pelvises. He walked the young man back until his back connected with the wall right next to the archway leading into the main hall. He pressed their bodies together and moaned audibly. His hands feverishly explored Heero's sides and then he made enough space between them for him to partly undo Heero's dress shirt and slip his hands inside. He kneaded the muscled torso as his fingers traveled up and he enjoyed the way the pitch of Heero's moans changed when he pinched and rubbed both nipples.

Heero's hand was placed over Duo's bulging groin but the man quickly told him 'Don't', not trusting his sexual endurance, and Heero pulled his hand away without question or giving the manner any kind of embarrassing attention. Instead he raised his arms above his head and let the American touch him as he pleased, letting him assume complete control.

After not too long, Duo ground out: "I want-" He couldn't finish his sentence, biting on his lower lip. The intensity of his attraction towards Heero was maddening and left him feeling entirely uncivilized. He wanted to grope the flesh and bite the skin and claim him as his own.

"I have a condom in the back pocket of my pants."

Absurdly, Duo wondered: "You brought a condom to church?"

Heero chuckled breathily. "I got it from the bedroom just now, before you came in."

He placed his hands on the slim hips and roughly turned him around so the Japanese man was facing the wall. He pushed himself against the shapely behind, moaning gratuitously, beyond all shame. Heero angled his hips and thrust back against him.

Duo paused and let his hands caress the buttocks, feeling the packet in the left pocket. He slipped his fingers in and retrieved the condom, momentarily placing it on the kitchen counter directly to their right. He reached around the slim, young man and undid his belt buckle and pants and them fall to the floor before pushing the underwear down to expose him. While he worked to unzip his own pants Heero widened his stance and braced against the wall.

The lubricated condom was wet and slippery, which made it a bit of a challenged for his shaky hands to apply it to himself. "Is this enough lubricant to make it good for you?" He wondered, in part to disguise his brief struggle.

"Trust me, it will be good."

He did trust Heero to know what would feel good. Once done with the task of putting on the condom he grabbed his hips again and held him still as he pushed inside him.

The two of them moaned at the slow entry. Heero leaned his forehead against the wall and Duo rested his chin on his shoulder once he was fully seated.

"I have to move," Duo said through gritted teeth, unable to keep his primal lust in check for much longer.

"Yes! Please!"

At Heero's repetitive encouragement Duo was rough and demanding in his movements. The cries of passion fuelled him on. He knew he wouldn't last long and he hoped his lover had taken that into account aswell. He stayed his release as long as he could, thrusting into him while kissing and nipping at his neck and ear. Their clothes got dirtied by their sweat.

"I'm close," He warned.

Heero lowered one of his hands to jerk himself off. "It's okay, baby. I want you to come."

With a growl he reached his climax, moving his hips back and forth a few more times before he settled deep inside him. Fireworks crackled behind his closed eyelids. He knew he couldn't wait too long to pull out, because of the condom. Heero seemed to sense his insecurity and said: "Just give me a few more seconds." He was barely able to finish his sentence before his breath hitched in the back of his throat and his entire body tightened when he reached his own completion.

Although his legs felt dangerously unsteady, Duo stepped back, away from the warmth and support that was Heero and got rid of the condom and zipped up his pants.

Heero tidied himself up as well and washed his hands at the sink.

Neither of them said anything and the silence was uncomfortable.

Of all the things – better, more appropriate things – he could have said, the American wondered imprudently: "Is Marc still in town?"

Heero threw an odd look over his shoulder. "Are you really that worried I'm going to pick him over you? That you have to ask me that after we've just-"

Duo hastily apologized, looking away.

"I'm not mad." He chuckled. "It's kind of cute, actually." He walked up to him and stood temptingly close.

"It's petty and selfish," Duo berated himself. "But my concerns are not entirely uncalled for. He seemed rather intent on convincing you that you are better off with him."

He quirked an eyebrow. "When?"

Not feeling comfortable disclosing the private conversation he had had with Marciano, he answered ambiguously: "Just in general. And… you did love him, once."

"Once," The other emphasized. "He's too late. I've already moved on to my next ill-advised crush." He smirked at his own remark.

Duo bit his lip, feeling the sharp sting of guilt in his heart. More than ever he wanted to be able to change, he wanted to be able to embrace the full depth and meaning of his feelings for Heero, if only so he wouldn't end up causing the young man more heartbreak, he had already suffered enough. Out of the blue he leaned in and gave him a chaste peck on the lips. Before Heero could ask or say anything, he inquired: "So, is there something I can help you with?" He looked around himself demonstratively.

"I've started tiling the upstairs bathroom. I could always use an extra pair of hands."

He was already working on the second floor, Duo noted. The renovation was moving along swiftly. What would happen when the work was done? He knew his unskilled help wouldn't speed things up much, so he was happy to be able to work with him, so he could have a sane excuse to spend more time with him – although he would be perfectly content quietly sitting in a corner watching him. He went back to his house only to change into clothes he wouldn't mind ruining.

Home improvement. Self-improvement. All change was hard work. He just hoped he could manage to strip away the thick, dried layers of indoctrination and find the structure of his true self undamaged underneath.

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><p><strong>I'm aware more traditional churches also preach acceptance, I just wanted to give this church-experience some character, by making it a bit off-beat. My intention was not to imply that all other (traditional) churches are bad nor ignorant. <strong>

**I hope you'll let me know your thoughts on the chapter, I could really use the boost, get the momentum going again. **


	15. Chapter 15

**Akumu Nokami: I'm glad my stories provide you comfort and distraction. I wish you the very best and I hope you will enjoy this update.**

**Guest: That sounds awful, I feel sorry for that woman. Luckily, not all churches are like that. I hope you will enjoy this chapter and thank you very much for your review :)**

**CircleKV12: The previous three chapters were shorter, sometimes a chapter just naturally cuts itself off at some point and it feels contrived to add to it for the sake of word-count. This chapter is much, much longer though, so I hope you will enjoy it :)**

** : Thank you for taking the time to leave a review. I really appreciate the support and I am happy to read that you are enjoying the story.**

**Anonymous: Thank you very much for your kind and understanding review! I really hope you will like this long chapter and I would love to read your thoughts on it.**

**Koiame: Ask and you shall receive.**

**CaseyCuervo: Yep, this one is probably next :)**

**ToXicStArCaNdy: I'm happy to read you gave the sermon a chance in spite of your dread. It's good to read it wasn't off-putting. Don't worry though, aside from a little speech, you won't have to read another sermon :P Thank you for your review and I hope you will like this update.**

** .545: I'm very sorry to hear about what happened to you. That is not right. I hope the direction of this story won't offend you, religion will continue to play a part in it, which might not be what you would like to read, given your understandable dislike for it.**

**The Yaoi Pimpette: More progress coming right up! :P Thank you for leaving another review.**

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><p><strong>Author's note:<strong>

**Not much to say other than:**

**WARNING: This chapter includes sexual content! ****You know the drill, if you feel that I have unknowingly crossed the line (considering my liberal, perverted mind) please let me know and I will adjust the content accordingly. I don't want to offend anybody, I just happen to think sex is a part of life that can't be edited out of a story about life without consequence.**

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><p><strong>Love Thy Neighbor<strong>

**Chapter fourteen**

They had sex a lot. It appeared they had somehow wordlessly come to the agreement that every room in the old house had to be christened. Some rooms more often than others. The upstairs bathroom with its clean, white tiles that felt cool against their skin was a favorite ever since they first tested the shower. Heero had let Duo take him from behind as he braced himself against the wall and let the fresh water wash away every bead of sweat that formed due of their impassioned movements.

Duo came to the easy conclusion that he was happy – and happier still whenever he had the young man's naked body pressed against his tightly. The conclusion wasn't without consequence, but he didn't like thinking about the consequences, because he knew it would only weigh him down. He decided to focus on the now. Having sex with him. Talking with him. Having dinner with him. Working on the house with him. Going to the progressive church meetings with him.

It was a life – a life he enjoyed – and it felt real, whether or not it was built on illusions, secrets and temporary compromises.

Heero's mouth tasted of caramel and chocolate after he had just snacked on a sweet treat. The young man teased him with open-mouthed kisses and made him shiver when he ran his rough hands up Duo's chest, slipping under his shirt, peeling the fabric that had stuck to his skin with sweat away, letting cool air rush up only to heat him up to an unbearable degree.

"You're insatiable," Duo noted with a smirk, placing his hands on Heero's hips loosely.

"I'm still young," He teased back. He flicked his tongue against Duo's Adam's apple.

"Well, I'm getting too old for this," For the sake of the joke he disregarded his obvious erection.

Heero wasn't fooled. He pressed their groins together. "You were the one who insisted on that fourth go-round yesterday."

"Yes, and I realize now that it could have killed me." He couldn't resist lightly trailing his hands up Heero's sides. "I have to be more careful."

The Japanese man detached himself from his neighbor and stepped back until he found the wall and leaned back against it. "Then I guess I'm on my own." With a wicked grin he rid himself of his shirt and he undid his belt and the fly of his cargo-pants. The weight of the hammer hanging in the loop of his pants pulled them down to the floor with a thud that echoed in the empty space. Heero was about to tempt him further by starting to touch himself, but there was no further need to convince Duo.

The sight of him, naked, with his golden skin glistening with sweat, his abdomen tightening with his every breath and his cock curving up, was irresistible and Duo rushed up to him to connect their mouths again. His apology was muffled when he caught Heero's wince as the rough fabric of his jeans grazed the other's sensitive manhood too roughly.

"Just get rid of it," Heero breathed against his mouth.

With hasty, jerky movements he undid his jeans and pushed them down. He leaned against his lover and reached between them to align their dicks, sandwiching the twin erections between their stomachs. He let out a throaty moan, interrupting their kiss. "I don't think I'll ever get enough of you."

"Good." Heero captured his lips again and with his hands gripping Duo's ass he urged the tall man to rock his hips against his.

"Did we leave the pack of condoms in the bathroom?"

Heero let out a hearty laugh.

Duo pulled back to frown at him. "What?"

"I just realized we haven't had sex in an actual bed since the very first time."

That was true and mostly because they had only ever had sex in Heero's house since then and the cot downstairs, where he slept, was not sturdy enough to support the weight of the two of them, especially not in the throes of passion. Duo paused, wondering what Heero meant to imply. "Did you want to?"

He chuckled. "It would be nice if, at some point, we came full circle and made our way into a proper bed again."

Duo realized he would probably like that too. The reason they favored the bathroom was because the tiles were clean and smooth, everywhere else in the house was dusty and unfinished. He still cringed remembering the big splinters he suffered in his ass cheeks when he had laid prone on the floor of the master bedroom before they had had the chance to properly sand and polish the hardwood floor, and Heero had straddled his lap, riding him with fervor, wearing nothing but his oversized work-boots. It seemed to be worth it at the time, it wasn't soon after. Heero regularly ended up scraped and bruised as well.

"Would you like to go right now?" He asked.

Heero shook his head and pulled him close. "And maneuver through the hedge sporting this kind of wood? No thank you."

The words lacked any resentment, but Duo still felt guilty at being reminded of the shameful sneaking around he subjected Heero to. But his concerns were quickly forgotten when Heero started grinding his hips and used the palm of his hand to stimulate the red, swollen head of their arousals.

"Let's just do it like this for now. I don't feel like wasting time getting condoms." He mewled and keened when Duo started to move in rhythm with him.

Eventually, Duo wrapped his big hand around both their erections, as much as he could, and pumped up and down. It was enough to get them both to reach their climax, together. He felt the warmth of their come on his stomach and on his hand. He blew out the breath he didn't even know he had been holding. He made sure Heero's stance was stable before he stepped back and he reached down to pick up the towel they used before to wipe the sweat off their brow as they worked. He used it to clean them both, feeling Heero's eyes on him the entire time. With a smirk he knelt down in front of Heero and hoisted his pants back up. He fastened the buttons and the belt buckle and placed a kiss on Heero's exposed abdomen before standing up again and pulling Heero's shirt down. He smoothed away the wrinkles, or pretended to, anyway, he just wanted to keep touching him and teasing him. When he looked at Heero he noticed the sparkle in his deep, blue eyes; a knowing sparkle. But neither of them said anything.

They continued with their designated chores. Duo wasn't really sure what he was doing, if he was even really helping with anything. He just sanded whatever surface Heero pointed at and he hammered something down whenever Heero handed him a nail. The young renovator might only be amusing him, but he figured they had reached a point where they were both aware and accepting of the fact that Duo was only there to be with him, as much as he could. He wasn't really invested in the transformation of the house and honestly the religious man didn't even care if Heero had to undo all the 'work' he had done every day when he went home at night. Wielding a hammer with his dry, dusty hands just felt so remarkably therapeutic, but only because he knew Heero was watching him. Watching the muscles of his back flex under his shirt and the muscles in his arms bulge and tense. Even though Heero was young – much younger than him – and he should feel especially old in comparison, Duo didn't feel old. He felt desirable. And the fact that he was actually getting quite an intense work-out every day, doing much heavy lifting, also helped with his self-esteem. He noticed that, as of late, he was able to appreciate his own reflection, even when he was in a state of undress.

Heero wanted him. The most beautiful, most exquisite person he had ever laid eyes on wanted him. That had to account for something.

"Did you still want to play host tonight?" Heero asked after a while.

"Yeah. Definitely." He was a little out of breath. They had been carrying some heavy supplies upstairs and he had been a little over-confident, trying to show off. "I think we should make a rule; no more than four days of take-out in a row. A body needs a properly, home-cooked meal once in a while."

The other laughed and pointed out: "This would have been the sixth day."

His brows knitted together. "Are you sure?"

Heero counted on his fingers. "Thai. Burgers. Pizza. Pizza again. And supermarket sushi yesterday." He made a face. "I still can't believe we didn't get sick, that was disgusting."

"Then why did you keep eating it?"

"I gotta represent," Heero pounded his fist against his chest.

He chuckled. "Fine. Whatever. New rule: No more than five days of take-out in a row."

"Alright. So, what are you making me?"

"Sushi," He replied slyly.

"Funny."

"You'll see soon enough. I should probably get out of here, wash up and get started." He said, but regardless he helped carry up the last of the supplies. "See you in… an hour?"

Heero came up the stairs with a forgotten tin of paint. He set it down at the top of the stairs. "Sure."

Duo nodded. He wiped his hands on his shirt and walked by his lover. He paused momentarily and placed a quick, careless peck on Heero's mouth before heading down the steps. He had caught Heero's perplexed expression, but didn't comment on it. "See you later."

"… See you…" Was the belated reply.

He headed out the front door. There was no point sneaking out the back. The entire neighborhood knew he was helping Heero with the renovation and most of them probably still believed he was doing it only to speed the process along so Heero could leave as soon as possible. They didn't seem to care much, anyway. The only person who had him worried was Relena. She still seemed to be keeping a close eye on him and he was certain it was no coincidence she appeared in her front yard with gardening sheers the moment he trotted off Heero's front porch. He held up a hand in a half-hearted wave when he unintentionally made eye-contact with her. He hoped the greeting would be enough, but his stomach started feeling heavy when she beckoned him to come over. He took a deep breath and crossed the street. It would be easier to cooperate with her, she would only get more nosy otherwise.

"Hello Relena. You seem to be taking special care of the rose bushes this year," He noted. The plants were always her favorite excuse to be lingering out in her front yard.

"Maintaining a garden of flowers like this is hard work, Duo," She quipped petulantly.

He simply nodded.

"You seem to be spending more and more time at his house."

He noted she refused to say Heero's name as of late and he couldn't help but recognize that she pronounced the simple pronoun in a way to make it sound like an insult. "Renovating a house is hard work too."

"But not your responsibility."

He shrugged. "I'm not so sure. With the house looking better every day, the appearance of the neighborhood as a whole is improving."

"Right and the neighborhood is your main concern in this matter," She snorted.

"What are you trying to say, Relena?"

"I'm saying that we hardly see you anymore. The only times we see you is when you walk to and fro his house. You still haven't replied to our dinner invitation, you've missed every meeting of the Neighborhood Association, you haven't even met with your cripple friend the past few weeks."

Duo put his hands on his hip, getting irritated.

"I see what he is doing, Duo. He is manipulating you. That is how they do things."

"They?" He cocked an eyebrow.

"The gays," She explained in a hushed, resentful tone.

"Relena, Heero doesn't have any kind of 'gay-agenda'…"

"Oh, really?" She nodded at the STOP-PROP-8 sign in his front lawn.

Duo looked back at it and shrugged. "He is just showing his support. We don't even talk about that sort of stuff." They really didn't and Duo had a feeling it was because Heero was carefully avoiding such subjects. For the time being, that suited him just fine. They both knew their fragile relationship might not be able to stand a heated political discussion, they had enough issues to have heated discussions about – almost too many. He looked at her and stated boldly: "He's my friend."

"How can you possibly be friends with someone like that?" She sneered.

"It's simple, really. He's nice and smart and… funny…" He looked off into the distance wistfully before snapping back. "He's an easy guy to like."

"And what about us? Are we friends?"

He chewed the inside of his cheek and then shot back bluntly: "I don't know. Are we?"

She glared at him. "If I was your friend, I would warn you that your neighbors are saying things about you. About the two of you."

He sighed. "My neighbors? Or just you?"

"You have to admit that your behavior is suspect."

"Nothing is going on. We're just friends," He pressed.

"I'm not saying there is anything going on. I'm saying it looks that way. And sometimes that is bad enough. Do you even know what will happen to our neighborhood if they think their kind is welcome here?"

"You're referring to 'the gays' again?"

"Of course I am. Don't play dumb Duo. There are two houses for sale at the end of the street, we don't want more people like him moving in. If you care at all about the appearance of our neighborhood, you have to agree."

"What are you worried about here? That Heero is going to send a message to hive and the Drag Queen will send the worker gays to invade the neighborhood?" He chuckled bitterly.

"It's so like you to make light of something like this."

He groaned and backed away. "Tend to your roses, Relena." He started walking to his house.

"I'm not above calling pest control, Duo!"

He waved his hand dismissively at her empty threat but his heart was beating in his throat. He wondered if she had started spreading rumors about the two of them and he feared how close the gossip might be to the actual reality of his relationship with Heero.

He decided not to worry about that tonight, however and – if he could manage – he wouldn't give it another lick of thought. He wanted to focus on Heero; that was the only thing that brought him joy. He showered and got dressed in an old button-up shirt that he hadn't worn in a while. He had always found the deep burgundy color too flashy on his pale skin, but he was surprised to find he actually liked the way it looked on him now, combined with grey slacks. Perhaps he was overdressed, for the simple dinner that it was, but he knew Heero would enjoy it.

He set to work in the kitchen; he had settled on mushroom risotto. The Italian kitchen was his favorite; he enjoyed the process of preparing the meals and he liked eating them.

When he was almost done the kitchen door opened and he couldn't fight the smile as he watched Heero come into his house. In his presence the colors of the room were brighter and the aromas of dinner more delicious. The young man was wearing tight black jeans and the midnight blue button-shirt Duo had seen him wear before. It was no secret that it was one of his favorites, second only to Heero's bare chest.

"It smells great."

"You look absolutely edible," Duo blurted. When Heero was close to him he leaned in, ducking his head to bury his nose in the crook of the young man's neck.

Heero chuckled. "You look quite appetizing yourself." He shook his head at their silly banter and then offered to finish setting the table.

"If you wouldn't mind. Thanks."

"Sure." Heero fetched the plates and the wine glasses – he knew where everything was by now.

Duo paid little attention to the meal on the stove and instead was content to watch Heero's precise and deliberate movements. He was so elegant. He moved like a man who knew his body very well. Most of the time, Duo still felt like the gangly teen he once was – many, many years ago – stumbling and fumbling. He simply smiled when Heero caught him staring and gave him and odd look. After a few minutes he served dinner and poured wine.

Once Heero was done complimenting his cooking skills he inquired about his chat with Relena, on the street.

Duo chuckled and shook his head. "You fit right in with the rest of the neighborhood, you snoop and spy just like the rest of them."

"Them?" Heero mocked. "I seem to remember you ogling me quite intently from behind the drapes the first few weeks I was here."

"Fine, you spy like the rest of us," He emphasized the last word and added with a wink: "And I haven't stopped 'ogling' you."

The young man smiled, but he wouldn't be distracted. "You are deflecting," He observed accurately. "I take it she wanted to talk to you about me."

"Just the same old. Don't worry about."

"I won't if you won't," Heero said, his tone serious.

Duo looked up at him and nodded solemnly. "I won't. I promise."

They ate and the conversation veered back to their usual, comfortable topic; the renovation of the house. Heero spoke passionately about how he envisioned the interior. He explained that although he never decorated the houses that he restored – leaving that up to the buyers – he always made sure he had a picture in his mind as he worked, to have a goal to strive for and for each house to have its own identity, for when he would look back on it later. They joked back and forth about how the new owner could totally mess it up and started fantasizing about horrendously patterned wallpaper and mismatched furniture.

Duo asked him: "What about my house? Did I do okay?" He pointedly looked around. He remembered Marc telling him that Heero was copying the all-American, contemporary style in the house, whether or not he realized it.

"I'm hardly an expert, Duo."

"Seriously, I'm curious. What do you think?"

Heero looked around, as if he didn't already know exactly what it looked like. "I like it," He replied simply.

"But why?"

He shrugged and looked down at his plate, but he sheepishly admitted: "Because it's very… you. The dark, hard woods. The soft, light furniture. The clutter of books and the notepads that never seem to get written on. I don't know, it just fits."

"I guess." He paused and took a sip of his wine. "How would you decorate your own home? The house you really decide to live in?"

"I don't know. I haven't really thought about it."

He frowned. "Really?"

"I guess I never thought I would ever have to make a house my home. I always figured – or naively hoped, rather, that I would just…" He made a vague gesture. "Happen upon it."

"You mean that you would move into someone else's home?"

"Yeah." He reached for his wine.

"You saw yourself living with Marc."

He smiled bitterly and took a drink from his glass before he replied: "Yeah. Back then, his place was my dream home. I would have happily moved in and I wouldn't have changed a thing. His apartment was as much Marc as this house is Duo. I like being in the home of the person I love. When I step into it, I feel like they wrap a part of themselves around me and make me part of their world." He looked off to the side, embarrassed. "I've only ever felt at home in someone else's house. Marc's. Zechs'. Even Trowa's, before Quatre moved in with him. When it was just his house, it felt like him, but now that he is with Quatre, the whole house feels like them, and I don't belong in it anymore."

"And now you feel like you belong here? In my house?"

"Oh God," He covered his face and chuckled nervously. "I sound mental. Don't worry, I won't ask for a drawer or put my toothbrush on the sink."

"I'm not worried," The American assured him, smiling gently. "I like that you feel like you belong here. I like it when you're here. I mean… I've always loved this house, but the last few years it has felt like solitary confinement. Now that you are here, I love it again."

Heero lowered his hands into his lap and looked a little perplexed at the heartfelt confession.

"But, you know, keep your toothbrush at home," He joked.

Heero laughed.

After a few moments of comfortable, contemplative silence they cleared the table together. Duo couldn't deny the domestic bliss. Even a mundane chore was both titillating and soothing with Heero around. He loved the way he rolled up his sleeves, the delicate way with which he handled the china and the wine glasses and the way he would brush his shoulder by him as they worked in silence.

He noticed how he smelled. Heero normally smelled like sweat, sawdust and paint thinner – and somehow Duo had grown fond of that mixture of scents. Now he smelled like soap, shampoo and a cheap but pleasant cologne that had already started to fade. He had never taken note of someone's scent before, never mind how intoxicating it could be. He noticed a lot of things about Heero that he never paid any particular attention to where anyone else was concerned. Like how perfectly straight his nose was from the side. It was an odd thing to focus on, but he marveled at it every time Heero turned sideways in embarrassment or thought. And when he did Duo also noticed that the young man had had his left ear pierced at some point, but he had never seen him wear an earring. When Heero smiled, he would watch the pearly white of his teeth be revealed and took note of the fact that his right canine was turned a little, making it seem sharper, almost like a fang. It was the only thing about his face that wasn't symmetrical, it made his smile quirky and interesting. Duo had even mapped out every mark on Heero's body. The scar under his chin and on his abdomen from when they had to surgically remove his inflamed appendix. He had three moles, in perfect alignment, equally spaced, in the crease of his groin.

He knew Heero's body better than he knew his own. He had every inch of it memorized and he understood better what felt good to him. Sometimes he was still surprised at a mole on his own skin, or the sounds Heero could draw out him by placing his mouth here and there. But he knew exactly what Heero looked like and how he enjoyed being touched. He knew why. Heero was the first person he ever really looked at and really listened to. Everyone else, even WuFei, was a blurred and indiscriminate shape in his life compared to the young neighbor. Heero was the single point of clarity in his world and the only tangible thing. For over a decade, he had felt like the world was moving around him – speeding up and up and up – while he had grinded to a halt and stood still amidst life happening all around him, but not to him, not with him. The new neighbor could have rushed by him just as easily, with complete disregard to this immobilized statue of a man, like any other neighbor. But he hadn't walked by. He had paused and he had looked at him. He really saw him, the way he was now able to really see Heero. The man had managed to move him, when he thought he had been solidified irreversibly.

"You're staring," Heero pointed out with a small laugh, leaning back against the counter.

"I'm looking. I'm appreciating," He corrected.

Heero shook his head. "Looking you do with your eyes. Appreciating you do with your hands."

Duo recognized the beckoning look and the seductive tone. He stepped forward, closer to him. He thought for a moment and then brought his hands up to delicately cup Heero's face. He lightly moved his thumbs across his cheeks. His hands trailed down. Down the long neck. He felt the pulse there. He stroked across his shoulders and then let his hands follow the line of his arms. He took Heero's hands and placed them on his taller shoulders.

Heero took a deep breath and held it.

His hands jumped to his sides, moving up and down a number of times before finally picking up the hem of the shirt and lifting it up, if only slightly. He touched the pads of his fingers to the exposed inch of stomach. He looked up into Heero's eyes and bit his lower lip at the sight of the clouded, passionate blue orbs.

Heero loved him. He loved him. It was a young and naïve kind of love but real and deep nonetheless.

Duo felt like he didn't deserve it; such a tender and precious gift. People had loved him in the past. Anthony had loved him. Hilde had loved him. Even Amber might have loved him. He hadn't been able to give any of them what they needed from him. Heero was no different. Heero needed to hear him say that he loved him back and Duo wished he could, but the words died within him and only a sigh went past his lips. But he wanted Heero to know how much he really appreciated him and cared for him, so he managed to admit in a whisper: "You make me happy."

His lover smiled.

He knew it wasn't what he had been holding his breath for to hear, but it was all he could offer him at the moment and – at the moment – it seemed to be good enough.

With his arms encircling Duo's neck he pulled him closer and into a kiss.

It started innocently enough, but perhaps Duo had teased him too much with his touches. He was getting rather good at that. Heero clawed at his broad back and pushed his hips against his.

"Wait," Duo mumbled against his wanton mouth. "I have dessert. Your favorite."

"Yes you do," Heero breathed with a grin and snaked one arm between them, cupping his hand over Duo's erection, which was obvious under the soft, supple fabric of his grey slacks, it angled up to his left hipbone.

The American gasped, but he interrupted their kiss and shook his head. "I meant: chocolate fudge brownie ice-cream."

Heero blinked up at him. "How did you know that is my favorite?"

"I've seen the empty cartons in your trashcan on three different occasions and one time still on the counter," He teased.

"You see that sort of stuff?"

"I see you."

Heero groaned. He trailed his fingers along the outline of Duo's erection more purposefully. "Chocolate fudge brownie can wait." He reconnected their mouths demandingly.

Duo couldn't say he was disappointed by the turn of events. He grabbed Heero's ass and had him jump up and wrap his legs around his hips. He didn't want to do it standing up again. He had every intention of carrying the younger man upstairs, but he quickly discovered that although Heero was short and lithe, he wasn't really a lightweight; he was still a fully grown and toned man. Duo feared it would be too dangerous to attempt to carry him up the stairs, so he took him to the living room instead, to the big white couch. He placed Heero on the cushions and lowered himself down on top of him, settling between his legs.

"Not the bedroom? Again?" The Japanese man wondered with a laugh. He was already unbuttoning Duo's burgundy shirt.

"You're too heavy…"

"I'm too heavy? Or you're too old?" He whispered in his ear.

Duo thrust his pelvis against his forcefully. "Not too old for this."

Heero arched his back, lifting off the couch. He wasn't going to make any more jokes, Duo could tell.

He sat back and unfastened his lover's jeans and tugged them down his long legs. Heero's arousal sprang free and curved over his lower abdomen, towards his bellybutton. He got rid of the shoes and then tossed the jeans clear across the living room.

"Maybe we shouldn't do this on a white couch," Heero noted absentmindedly. His voice was thick with need. "It could get messy."

"I don't care." The American leaned forward and placed a kiss on the head of his penis, smirking as it moved in response and Heero bucked his hips. "You don't really care either."

"It's your couch," He breathed, looking down his body at Duo's face hovering above his groin.

Duo sucked on his manhood briefly. He wasn't very good at it, even though the sounds Heero was making were favorable. All he could really get himself to do was take the very tip into his mouth and lick it and kiss it, which paled in comparison to what Heero could do to him with his mouth. But he wanted to keep trying, so he could grow comfortable with it. He wanted to give Heero that kind of pleasure.

The young man was never demanding, always cooperative and accommodating. Instead of asking him to do more, he gave a helping hand, literally. With one hand he pushed his shirt up to his collar bone and teased a hard nipple between his thumb and forefinger. The other hand he reached down and used to cup his balls and sometimes he wrapped his fingers tightly around the shaft.

Duo released him from his mouth with a wet sound and crawled back up his body. "I'm sorry I'm not better at it."

"You're good at something else. Something much more important." He brought his legs up and folded them around the American's torso, exposing himself more to illustrate his point.

"Yeah?" Duo kissed along his clavicle and up his neck.

"Ohh, yeah."

"Did you bring condoms?"

"They're in my jeans."

Duo stilled and groaned. "Fuck." He cocked his head to the side and glared at the heap of black denim at the other end of the room, most of it had crumpled to the floor, but one leg was draped across the cushion of his reading chair. Grumbling he had Heero release him and he got to his feet and approached the pants. Luckily he always kept his curtains drawn, or else he would have to deal with that first. He searched the pockets impatiently and mumbled something when he found them in the last pocket he checked. Just his luck.

When he turned back, he was no longer in such a rush. He paused to enjoy the sight of Heero, sprawled on his couch. He had unbuttoned his shirt but hadn't bothered to sit up to take it off. His legs were spread invitingly. He was pumping his fist up and down his length in anticipation. He was watching him with a fiery gaze.

On his way back to the couch he stripped the clothes off his body and let out a sigh of relief when he lay back down on top of Heero, melting their heated skin together. They kissed lengthily before Heero begged him to come inside him and he couldn't refuse. He made haste applying the condom, only to take his time pushing into him. The passage was so tight, but Heero preferred it without using fingers first to stretch him.

The young neighbor's mouth was open in a soundless moan. His eyes slid shut.

Duo was pleased that he was getting better at controlling his urge and his endurance was improving. He started slowly, he enjoyed studying the myriad of expressions on his lover's face. "You like that, baby? You like my cock deep inside you? Can you feel it throb?" Heero liked dirty-talk like that, he had discovered. He had never confessed as much, but it was obvious. The toned body clenched around him, tightly and deliciously and he bit his lower lip. He nodded helplessly.

"You feel so good," Duo whispered before lowering his mouth on Heero's. He kissed him distractedly, increasing the pace of his movements. By the time he was moving into him in long, powerful thrusts, he decided to switch it up a little. He sat back up on his knees and maneuvered Heero's legs, resting his calves over his shoulders.

They were both loud. Moaning and grunting and letting out the occasional cry.

Heero flung one arm up and hooked it over the armrest where he rested his head on, with his free hand he started to touch himself, indicating that he was getting close already.

"Tell me I'm young," Duo demanded with a wicked grin. The movements of his hips were steadfast.

Without argument Heero exclaimed: "You're young! You're young! Oh! You're young!" He threw his head back and milky white fluid spilt onto his tensed up stomach.

Duo only needed a few more thrusts into his willing body to reach his climax. He groaned loudly and rolled his hips idly as he rode out the waves of his orgasm. He placed a satisfied, wet kiss on Heero's shin.

Heero threw his gaze up at the ceiling and let out a breathy laugh. "It's wasn't just me, right? That was amazing, right?"

"You're amazing," Duo said genuinely. He pulled out, took off the condom, tied the end of it and placed it on top of the empty wrapper that he had discarded on the floor next to the couch.

Heero pulled him down for a sloppy kiss. He groaned when Duo's braid slid over his shoulder and fell onto his sensitized chest. He wrapped the band of hair around his wrist possessively.

The American laughed softly against his lips. After a few gentle kisses Heero's grip on his hair weakened and he got up, explaining: "I'll go get you something to clean you up with."

The other looked down his body with the hint of an embarrassed blush.

The taller one left for the kitchen and cleaned himself first in front of the sink before fetching a fresh towel and moistening it with lukewarm water. On a whim he grabbed the pint of ice-cream and two spoons before heading back to the living room.

Heero pushed himself up on his elbows. "Now we're talking," He said and nodded at the carton of his favorite ice-cream.

"Be patient, young grasshopper." He set it aside on the coffee table and kneeled next to the couch. He took care cleaning Heero's hands first and then gently rubbing the evidence of his passion off his abdomen and chest. He folded the towel over and used the clean side to wipe the inside of Heero's thighs as well. Neither of them said anything. Duo could feel Heero's eyes watching him, but he didn't dare to make eye contact. The moment was intimate enough as it was. But he couldn't help the smile on his lips and the red hue on his cheekbones.

When he was done he handed his lover his black jeans and they both got partly dressed. Duo sat down next to him on the couch and Heero scooted closer and draped one leg over his lap. The young man kissed his shoulder, neck and ear lovingly.

"It was that good, huh?" He asked jokingly.

"It was." With a smirk Heero added: "The promise of ice-cream also helps."

Duo nodded and leaned forward to get the pint and the spoons.

They shared the treat quietly, only occasionally exchanging mischievous looks.

When they had eaten their fill Duo put it away and leaned back with a sigh, throwing his arm around Heero's shoulders. It felt easy and comfortable.

"So what are you reading right now?" Heero asked after a while.

"I'm really into science fiction lately." Duo loved talking to books about Heero. The young man wasn't much of a reader, as he admitted himself, and that was a quality that normally would have put Duo off, but he enjoyed telling Heero the stories – the abridged version, of course. He was a good listener and seemed genuinely interested in the tales, even as Duo sometimes lost track and struggled to relay the plot. "I just finished 'Hyperion' and now I've started on the Dune series."

"Dune? Wasn't that also made into a movie?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. The first two books in the series are supposed to be great reads though."

Duo talked about Hyperion and what he had read so far of the Dune books. He tried to put into words why he enjoyed science fiction all of sudden, failing miserably. He always had his phases when it came to reading and he wasn't sure if his tastes at any particular time really meant anything, other than that he might have read every good novel of one genre and was simply forced to move on to the next.

"What about your own writing? Would you like to write a science fiction novel one day?"

He shook his head. "No, I don't think that's my thing."

"What is your thing? What are you working on now?"

He sighed and admitted miserably: "Nothing. I've said all I had to say with my one book. Or at least, what I thought I had to say. I was pretty sure of things back then, so I knew what to write. Since then, I've only ever been confused. How can you write when you're confused? I wouldn't know what to say and it would change direction all the time."

"You haven't written a single thing in all those years?"

He shrugged. "I guess I'm a one-trick-pony."

Heero looked up at him and spoke encouragingly: "I'm sure that's not true. In spite of the controversial topic of your book, I loved reading it, as I told you. You have a way with words. I know I don't know much about books, or writing, so you might not value a thing I say, but I think you have more in you. And it will come out as soon as you let it."

He looked at him poignantly. "I do value what you say."

Heero smiled.

"It's just been so long. Maybe the story-telling skill is a transient one and it just… ends." He chuckled at a silly memory and asked Heero: "Did you see the picture of me on the back of the book?"

"Of course I did. I stared at it plenty of times."

Duo blushed at his confession and pressed on: "So you know what I looked like back then."

"Younger?" Heero teased.

"That too. And my hair…"

"It was short," Heero supplied. "Really short."

Duo nodded. "I shaved my head the day I signed the deal with the publishing company. It was a dare. WuFei dared me. Something about new beginnings… fresh starts… I don't even remember exactly, that's how long ago it was. But I'm pretty sure we were both quite drunk at the time. So anyway, a few months later, when the book got published, my hair was really short." He pulled his braid over his shoulder, the end rested in his lap. "I haven't cut my hair since I shaved it all off that day." He let his fingers trail the entire length of it.

"Why?"

"Well. About two years later, WuFei published a book," He started to explain.

"I didn't know that."

"It wasn't very popular, but it was good. I told him that he should shave his head as well, to commemorate it, just like I had. He agreed, but on one condition. He wanted us to make a pact, that we would only cut our hair whenever we managed to complete a book. It didn't need to be published, it just had to be completed. You see, I was having trouble getting back on the horse and I made some remarks about my hair getting too long and bothersome and WuFei, being my editor and a general pain-in-the-ass thought it would motivate me. I was cocky enough to think I would be able to churn something out at least every couple of years and I just really wanted to shave his head," He laughed, "So we shook on it and everything. Turns out that WuFei is the only one between the two of us able to write steadily and I haven't finished anything – I haven't even really started anything."

"Why didn't you just cut your hair after a while, I'm sure WuFei wouldn't have held it against you."

Duo nodded. "Mostly pride, in the beginning. It had little to do with honor and I know WuFei wouldn't have made a big deal about it, even though he has stuck with it to this day as well. I wanted that moment, that moment of chopping it all off. I imagined it would feel as victorious as when I shaved my head for my very first book. After a while though, as I started to realize it wasn't going to happen, the long hair became my penance. The growing weight of it on my back reminded me of my failure, every day, and that was my punishment." He touched the soft hairs.

"I'm sorry. I thought you just kept it long because it looks good."

Duo chuckled. "You think so?"

Although conflicted about it now, he confessed: "Yes, I do. I think it's beautiful. But I don't think you should punish yourself."

He nodded. "I've thought about cutting it off many times. But it's like… Stockholm syndrome, or something. Even though it hurts me, I can't part with it. It's been such a constant thing. I guess it's a lot like the red yarn analogy in my book. It's difficult, but it's something that I know. It hurts me, but it doesn't surprise me, it doesn't catch me off guard. I'm prepared for it and I know how to live with it. If I cut it off now, for the wrong reasons, it would just be another failure."

The young man stared at him.

"I don't think I'm making much sense…" He berated himself.

"No, you are. I get it. It's just… sad."

He changed the subject by asking: "What about your hair? There must be a story behind it."

Heero snorted and absentmindedly tucked a lock of hair behind his ear, but it fell back in front of his face just as easily. "Yeah, there's a story. The first part is called Laziness and the sequel is titled Vanity." He explained: "I didn't feel like making time to go to the hairdresser, so I let it grow out. And then everyone started saying how 'cool' my hair was," He shrugged, "So I kept it like this."

"I wouldn't use the word 'cool' – I am too old for that after all – but I do really like it. It looks good." He reached up and ran a hand through the wild yet soft mop of hair. "But I imagine any hairstyle would look good on you."

"I have yearbook photo's that would argue differently," Heero retorted dryly. He rested his head on Duo's shoulder again and they both fell quiet.

Duo could hardly believe he had told Heero the secret about his hair. Only WuFei had been privy to the truth – and only because he was an integral part of the story – and he imagined Sally had heard her share. He had never taken the time, nor mustered up the courage, to actually tell anyone the story. It was such a stupid reason, after all. It was embarrassing. But Heero didn't make him feel embarrassed. He felt understood and accepted. Once again, Heero made it easy for him to forget how young he was.

They shared in a comfortable silence for a long time. Duo could hear Heero's breaths evening out and coming out in soft sighs. He was falling asleep.

He wished he could let Heero spend the night, but it didn't feel right. It was a step he wasn't ready for and only because there were only a few more steps to take before the relationship was as serious and real as it possibly could be and that was a level they should not reach, given the circumstances. It would be better for them to stay on their current plateau. It was a comfortable place to him, a meeting point somewhere in the middle; halfway between what they both wanted and needed.

He brought his arm back around and started buttoning up Heero's shirt that fell loosely down from his shoulders. The movement caused the neighbor to wake up. His eyes opened, underneath the dark lashes his cobalt blue orbs looked dazed and confused. "I'm sorry. Did I fall asleep?"

"It's okay," Duo said in a hushed tone. "But it's probably time for you to go home."

Heero sat back and took over buttoning up the shirt, not bothering with more than three buttons. He gave Duo a quick peck goodnight and left the house through the back door without any ado. He didn't need to say anything, Duo knew the sneaking around still upset him, but they hadn't had an argument about it in a couple of weeks and he hoped they could maintain that kind of quiet acceptance, however begrudging.

He heaved a deep sigh and went upstairs for a quick shower and then went to bed.

Although the relationship had been improving, Duo was having more and more trouble sleeping at night. A nervous feeling in the depths of his stomach kept him awake for many hours every night. It was the same as that pesky feeling people get when they feel like they've forgotten something. He felt like there was something he had to do, but he didn't know what it was. It had him tossing and turning, until he would eventually fall into a dreamless sleep.

He slept in that morning, out of pure necessity. Heero would forgive him for not showing up bright and early for one day. He would just have to find a convincing way to assure the young neighbor that his tardiness had nothing to do with the fact that Trowa was coming over for the weekend. Of course the presence of the tall carpenter played a role in Duo's sleepless uneasiness, but he couldn't admit to that. Understandably, Heero's friends were important to him and Duo knew that he had a lot to make up for with regards to Trowa, who wasn't the least bit impressed with him so far and unabashedly displeased with the budding relationship between the two neighbors.

He poured himself a hot cup of coffee at eleven in the morning and spied an unfamiliar vehicle in the driveway. Last time Trowa had driven out in his van, but for whatever reason he had rented a car this time.

With his hand cupped around the warm ceramic he stood at the bay window overlooking the front yard. He spotted Carlton across the street, washing his sedan. Relena was tending to her roses. Those damn roses.

Where had the woman gotten the idea that she had the right to judge everybody so harshly and yet assume she could escape everyone's judgment unscathed? Her own husband was cheating on her and she had been unfaithful in the past as well – if he were to believe the scandalous rumors for once – yet she dared to say that a man and a woman deserved the privilege of marriage and two men or two women together did not. With his feelings for Heero growing, Duo had learned that a gay couple could love each other just as wholly as a straight couple could. It wasn't right for her to stand on her pedestal and claim otherwise, especially not when that pedestal was an illusion; a lie.

The scary part was that people knew she was not as righteous as she proclaimed to be and still everyone viewed her with more respect than they did the likes of Heero. If she managed to turn the neighborhood against Duo, she could get the Neighborhood Association to force them both out of their homes.

Then where would he go?

He shook his head, he didn't want to lose himself to that kind of a negative mindset. Not when he had to face Trowa for the next two days and persuade the man that he didn't need to protect Heero from him; something he wasn't even quite sure of himself.

Reluctantly, he got dressed and headed out the front door. He boldly made eye-contact with Relena as he walked over to the next-door house.

The front door was open, as it usually was. He stepped inside and called out Heero's name.

"In the kitchen!"

He mustered up the necessary courage for the confrontation with the overprotective and possessive friend and walked down the hallway to the kitchen. He froze in the archway.

"Hello Duo, nice to see you again."

Duo glared. "Hello. Marc."

"Marciano," The dark-haired man corrected. He was standing entirely too close to Heero, Duo noted. He continued smugly: "Only my friends call me Marc." Duo knew he would keep calling him Marc, only because it seemed to annoy him whenever he did.

"Guys," Heero intervened with a warning tone. "Don't start."

"What is he doing here?"

Marc smirked and patted the papers that were scattered on the table. "I came to show Heero something." He looked back at the shorter man who leaned over the table, studying pictures and scrutinizing text. "What are you thinking?"

"It's amazing," Heero admitted, with a baffled shake of his head. "It's a dream, really."

Duo stepped closer. "What are we looking at?"

Heero grabbed one of the pictures and held it up for Duo to see. The American could see the excited sparkle in his blue eyes and although he should be happy to see the young man thrilled like that, all he felt was worry. The picture was of a large, quaint building; three stories tall, pastel-colored paneling – albeit horribly faded, white shutters, a wrap-around-porch and twin oak trees reaching their branches towards it. It was an abandoned and dilapidated mess but Duo could tell Heero was impressed; he was seeing the beauty that no one else could see, which was his gift, as he had once explained. He tried to be enthusiastic, for his sake and inquired: "What is it?"

"It's a hotel in San Francisco," Heero said, "It was decommissioned in the sixties and the owners have let it gone to waste."

"Through friends I know the guy who inherited the place," Marc chimed in, "I can get Heero a great deal on the property."

Duo felt some of the color drain from his face.

Heero let out a deep breath and stared at the picture. He rubbed the back of his neck in contemplation. "I've never tackled a project this huge before."

"But it's such an amazing opportunity. Who knows if you'll ever get a chance like this again?" Marc purred. "And you know I would be happy to help you out. It's only a forty-minute drive from my place to the hotel. I'd love for you to teach me the things you've learned over the years."

Duo was starting to feel positively sick. He had to admit, it was a clever ploy and it seemed like Heero was falling for it and he could do nothing to argue against this investment, not without stepping on Heero's dreams.

The young man looked at the American again. "Isn't it amazing?"

Duo could tell that he was asking for his approval, but as much as he wished to meddle, to keep the young man as far away from Marc as possible, he didn't have the right to sway him in any way. All he could do was offer a smile.

Heero bit his lip and looked back at the picture. "I have to think about it."

"Of course. It's a big project, you shouldn't take it on lightly. A restoration like this could last more than a year."

"Probably close to two years, actually."

Duo felt his stomach turn. Two years of being only forty minutes away from that sleazy asshole…

"Just don't wait too long. You don't want something like this to slip through your fingers because you didn't act quick enough."

"I'll let you know within a week. I just have to make some calls… and stuff." Heero looked back at Duo again and once more all Duo could manage was a smile.

"Anybody home?" Someone bellowed in the hallway.

Duo stiffened.

"Trowa, we're in the kitchen!"

Trowa's heavy work boots made loud footfalls on the hardwood floor. He stepped into the kitchen and dropped a hefty bag with tools to the floor. "What the fuck is he doing here?" He nodded at Marc.

"Trowa, please," Heero tried.

"No, seriously, are you kidding me?" He walked up to the Mediterranean man, glaring down at him – Trowa was taller than all of them. "You don't have the right to be here."

"I do have the right. This is Heero's house and he invited me inside."

"Trowa," The Japanese man interjected, "It's fine. Marc and I talked it out."

He snorted. "Talked it out?" His gaze shifted between Marc and Duo, distrusting them both. "Why do you surround yourself with people like this? Why do you keep doing this to yourself?" He demanded.

"Trowa!" Heero glared at him and the carpenter fell quiet. "Can we have a word? In private?"

The man nodded and followed Heero into the sitting room at the front of the house, which currently served at Heero's bedroom. The door slammed shut.

"This is going to be a fun weekend," Marc remarked.

"You're staying the entire weekend?"

"I plan on it. I'm not going to leave you two alone with him and let you poison him against me."

"You are the poisonous one," Duo shot back.

"No, I'm the one who can make Heero's dreams come true." With a self-satisfied smirk he started neatly gathering up the pictures and papers and stuffing them into a folder. "And of all the guys in this house, I'm the only one who can say that. Trowa loves Heero, but not in the way Heero would want him to, that part of him belongs to Quatre. And you…" He looked him up and down with disdain, "you have your issues, which will prevent you from giving Heero what he needs." He shook his head with a chuckle. "Let's face it, the three of us have all had a go at him, we've all fucked him, but I'm the only one able to offer him the kind of relationship he has been longing for his entire life. He'll figure that out soon enough."

"Don't make me punch you again."

Marc laughed.

When Heero and Trowa returned to the kitchen it was the start of a most uncomfortable weekend. The Japanese man did his best to appease the three of them but as he realized his friendly tactics weren't working he decided to ignore their competitiveness and quietly smoldering hate, pretending not to notice their vainglorious displays and biting banter. He probably hoped they would abandon their peacocking if he didn't pay it any attention, but he was sorely mistaken.

At times Duo felt like he was risking grave injury carrying heavy materials all the way up to the attic, but he couldn't help but take even more weight on his shoulders the next time, whenever the younger, arguably stronger Marc showed him up by making himself more useful.

"Watch out old man. You will be useless to Heero if your throw out your back," Marc quipped as he made his way down the stairs to get more wood from the back of the truck.

"You're both useless," Trowa muttered.

Duo was too out of breath to say anything. When he reached the attic he carefully lowered the wood for the floors. Alone with Heero at least he dared a brief kiss , hoping Heero wouldn't care about his flushed face and the smell of sweat that clung to him.

"Duo, what are you doing? We've talked about this."

Playing dumb he replied: "What? I'm just here to help." He knew very well Heero was referring to his jealousy with regards to Marc and Trowa.

Heero rolled his eyes at him.

The fighting continued when they had to work together. They couldn't agree on anything. Duo knew he was being silly, but he had to argue for the sake of arguing. Giving in would seem like defeat; like weakness.

A little past six Heero's interrupted their latest, heated discussion, inquiring what they wanted for dinner. They had been working without taking a break all afternoon.

Marc jumped up. "You shouldn't have to worry about that! I'll go get dinner. What are you in the mood for?"

Not wanting to look thoughtless in comparison, Duo straightened up and pointed out: "I could make us dinner. You love my cooking, right Heero?"

Trowa was already fishing his phone out of his pocket. "I'll just have pizza delivered."

"Oh my God, shut up!" Heero exclaimed, shocking the three of them with his anger. "Jesus! Just whip them out already and I'll go get the measuring tape!"

The three of them exchanged absurd looks and then Marc spoke up: "Actually, Heero, you already know which one of us is the biggest. You've slept with all three of us."

The young man stared at him. He was slack-jawed for a moment at the insensitive remark, but his expression soon hardened. "Right now, all three of you are equally small to me." He held up his hand with the thumb and forefinger only about an inch apart. He heaved a deep sigh and ran a hand through his hair. "I'm going to get dinner. Please don't kill each other."

"I'm parked behind you," Marc reminded him.

"Fine, we'll take your car and the two of us will go get dinner. I probably shouldn't leave all three of your alone together anyway." He looked sternly at Trowa and Duo. "Can you two play nice?"

"Yes," Trowa grumbled.

Duo watched Marc and Heero leave, feeling embarrassed about his behavior. He had already known Heero made him feel young, but he hadn't realized before how the beautiful man could turn him into someone so childish; jealous and petty. He jumped and turned around when Trowa threw his hammer to the floor in anger. He watched him pace back and forth a couple of times, like a tiger walking off pent-up frustration. "I'm sorry about the way I acted today," The long-haired man offered.

He look at him and growled. "It's not you."

"Marc?"

"Actually, I'm more mad at Heero."

Duo watched and waited for him to elaborate.

"I can't believe he is letting that scumbag back into his life." He kicked the hammer on the floor for good measure, sending it sliding across the newly laid floorboards and it hit the wall.

Duo nodded. "Heero told me what happened. What Marc did to him."

"Well, you may have heard the story, but you weren't there." He stilled and looked at him poignantly. "I saw him after. I saw what Marc did to him. If you had seen it too, you wouldn't judge me for being overprotective of him." He put his hands on his hips and took a deep breath. "Heero is a short guy, compared to us, at least. But I never him as small. Not until I saw him that day. Thick, split lip. One eye swollen shut. His stomach, back and legs were black, blue, yellow, purple… And still, when I looked at him I could tell that no matter how bad things looked on the outside, he was hurting even more inside."

Duo swallowed. He felt sick.

"He told me that he had to let Marc kick and beat the shit out of him so he could stop caring about him. But I think it's pretty clear it didn't work."

"Heero doesn't love Marc anymore," Duo supplied, although not entirely convinced of his own words.

"No. He loves you now, doesn't he?"

Duo swallowed as he was on the receiving end of a cold stare.

"Another 'happy ending' waiting to happen."

In his defense, he argued: "You've done a number on him too, you know!"

"Yes, I did! That's what makes this even worse! Me, Zechs, Marc and now you! How much more of this do you think he can take?"

"I don't plan on hurting him!"

He narrowed his eyes at the braided American. "None of us planned on it."

"So, what? You want me to stop seeing him?"

"No." He pinched the bridge of his nose between his fingers. "It's too late to go back." With a quieter voice he continued: "I want you to try to make this different for him this time. Just try. Quatre told me about your book."

He cringed, he had forgotten that the blonde was planning to read it.

"And based on what we know about you it's pretty clear it's not the satire it seems to be. You actually believe that shit."

Duo looked at him sharply, he wasn't comfortable with his religion being dismissed as 'shit', not even as he started to see flaws in it himself.

"Just try to open yourself up to him. The way he is still able to open his heart for others."

The American nodded. "I am trying."

"Good."

They shared an uncomfortable silence and then Trowa broke the tension between them by asking: "So how are we going to get rid of that asswipe?"

Duo stifled a laugh. "Are we teaming up now?"

"I have no choice. I have to pick the lesser evil to get rid of the real devil."

He smiled. An uneasy alliance was better than what they had before and he could use the help to keep Marc at a distance. "The hotel-thing was really clever."

"Yeah." He looked off thoughtfully. "Maybe you should just tell him you don't like him hanging out with Marc? He might listen to you."

"Not really. He knows how I feel. He says he feels responsible for Marc, because it was him who forced the guy out of the closet. I also don't think he realizes what Marc is trying to pull."

"He can be dense like that," Trowa mused.

Duo smiled to himself. "He sees beauty in things that other people have condemned."

"What?"

"That's what he told me about his drive to renovate these dumps. He sees the positives when everyone else can only see the negatives. I guess his mind works the same way with regards to people."

An endeared smile tugged at the corners of Trowa's mouth. "Yeah, that seems about right."

"I guess we just have to wait for Marc to screw up. If he is really such an asshole, it will be inevitable."

Trowa nodded in agreement and the two of them headed downstairs. A few minutes later Heero and Marc returned with Chinese food. They all took a seat at the large table on the back porch and quietly dug into their food.

Duo eyed Marc warily. The black-haired man had made haste to a secure a seat next to Heero at the table. Of course Duo understood Heero's appeal more than most people could, he was drawn in by Heero's magnetism himself, but he couldn't decipher why Marc was so invested in winning him back all of a sudden. A good-looking guy like him could have anybody he wanted, Duo expected, why would he make things unnecessarily hard on himself by going after Heero? Maybe Duo was blinded and prejudiced due to his own affections for the Japanese man, but Marc didn't really appear to love Heero; he regarded him with lust and prowess only.

It was a game to him, Duo realized, and perhaps that was all there was to it. He had contemplated if maybe Marc was the better person for Heero to be with, despite past incidents, but now he was convinced otherwise. Once the game was won, Marc would grow bored and he would move on to claim the next prize.

He was pulled out of his thoughts when he realized Marc had asked him a question, he certainly was looking at him expectantly. His brows furrows, he didn't know what had been asked.

The Italian man chuckled. "I was wondering how old you were, exactly."

"Marc," Heero growled.

"It's fine," Duo assured him. He looked at Marc coolly. "I'm thirty-seven."

"Wow." Marc whistled. "I have to admit, you look good for your age. But how long do you think that will last?" He looked at Heero. "Sooner or later the twelve-year age-gap is going to take its toll."

The Japanese man formed his mouth into a thin line.

Trowa and Duo shared a look.

"Think about it. When you will be in your late forties, he will be sixty."

"Yes, Marc, I can do the math myself," Heero shot back dryly.

"I mean, right now it's a difference between young and middle-aged, but by then it will be the difference between middle-aged and… old." He made a face. "Don't you guys think about stuff like that? Duo, surely you think about it."

"Duo and I are taking this one day at a time," Heero intervened.

Marc pressed on: "Right, I guess that makes sense. You guys aren't really in it for the long haul. I mean, how could you? His religious beliefs will always stand in the way."

"That's enough," Trowa bit and Duo was surprised he was standing up for him.

"Oh, Heero and I step out for twenty minutes to get dinner and you guys become best friends?"

Trowa looked up from his meal with a dangerous glare. "As long as Duo doesn't beat Heero to a pulp I have less of a qualm with him than with you."

Marc shot up from his seat. "You can't keep throwing that in my face! It was ages ago!"

Trowa rose from his seat as well. "Two years! It was two years ago!"

"I'm a different man now!"

"I don't see it," Trowa snarled.

Heero silently bit his lip.

Hoping to be able to calm things down, Duo urged them to sit down and continue their meal. But the two just kept shouting insults at each other. So loudly that it was drawing the attention of the other next-door neighbor, Bryce, who peered over the thick hedge cautiously. Duo knew that if they were going to rage on like this, Bryce would call the police. He wasn't sure if he should make more of an effort to stop the impending physical fight. It could be exactly the thing Heero needed to see to convince him that Marc was no good for him.

"What makes you so much better than me?" The Italian challenged. "You are the one who was fucking around with Heero while you were supposed to be in a committed relationship!"

"Don't you fucking dare bring Quatre into this, you piece of scum!"

Finally, it seemed Heero had decided he had to mitigate the testosterone-fuelled tension. He got up from his seat and lightly touched Marc's arm in an attempt to get his attention.

Blinded by rage, Marc pulled away from the touch, raising his hand in the air.

At the sight of the hand above his head, as if the man was about to strike him, Heero flinched, bringing his arm up in defense.

The hot-headed Italian realized his mistake and his entire body seemed to deflate as he hurried to apologize. "I'm so sorry. I wasn't going to hit you. I swear, Heero, I wasn't going to hit you."

"I know," He said, but he cringed and stepped away when Marc reached for him. He chuckled bitterly. "I'm fine. I'm fine." With his head ducked between his shoulders he headed into the house.

Marc was about to follow him. "Heero-"

"Please leave me alone!" He called and the three of them heard the door of his bedroom slam shut.

Trowa sat back down. "Well done," He chastised.

Marc turned to face him sharply. "I wasn't going to hit him but I may still beat your ass."

Trowa smirked darkly. "Please do. I'm sure that will convince Heero that you are a changed, non-violent man."

"I'm going to go talk to him."

"Don't." Duo stepped in front of him, blocking his way. "He told you he wants to be alone right now."

"If Heero knew what was good for him, he wouldn't be letting you fuck him."

Duo clenched his fists at his sides. "Go home, Marc."

"You don't get to tell me what to do." He twisted his hands into Duo's shirt and threw him aside. He was so forceful the American fell backwards, hitting his head on the floor of the porch, momentarily dazing him. Marc stormed inside.

"Oh, shit!" Trowa hurried around the table and helped Duo up before chasing after him, figuring he might need his support to subdue Marc.

Heero had emerged from the bedroom at the commotion and watched Marc stomp towards him.

Duo's heart was racing with concern. Trowa yelled at his friend to get back inside and close the door, but Heero didn't listen.

"Heero, we seriously need to talk, in private!" Marc barked, but as he closed the distance between them, Heero held his ground and although the Italian towered over him, Heero coiled his arm and then threw his fist at the man's face without warning.

Duo could have sworn he heard the impact, a dull thud as knuckles connected with a cheekbone. It stopped him in his tracks, Trowa too.

Marc staggered back, his hand sought purchase on the wall for support. With his other hand he touched his offended face. "What the fuck?"

"Get out." Heero ordered. His voice was cold.

"Heero, we need to talk about this."

"No. I can't trust you. I thought I could, but…" He looked away, clenching his jaw.

"Heero…"

"He told you to leave," Trowa reminded him.

"I can do this myself, Trowa, thank you," Heero informed him. He reached for the front door and held it open.

"Heero, I wasn't going to hit you. I will never hit you again." He pointed at his own face and tried to joke: "Although this hurts like a motherfucker."

"It doesn't matter. You did hit me. I let you hit me, so I could stop loving you. I didn't think it worked, but it looks like it did. I don't want you in my life anymore, Marc. I don't wish you ill, I just don't want you near me and my friends," He nodded at Duo and Trowa.

"And in the end they'll never be more to you than friends. They can't give you what you want," He reminded him. "I can."

"No Marc, you can't." Heero's tone was bitter but firm. "Two years ago you could, but not anymore."

"I don't understand this. First you try to push me into a relationship and now you want to push me away?"

"You pushed me away first."

He sighed and put his hands on his hips. He looked back at the two other men, observing the interaction. "What are you looking at?" He bit.

Neither of them responded.

He stared at Heero for a moment and realized he wasn't going to be able to persuade him. The game was over and he had failed to obtain victory. "Fine." He stepped towards the front door, passing by Heero closely. "Good luck. With everything." He looked over his shoulder at Duo pointedly.

The young man didn't say anything, he closed the door as soon as Marc stepped out.

Trowa snickered. "That was awesome. I'm proud of you, Heero."

Heero's expression was conflicted.

Duo looked at the carpenter meaningfully. "Trowa, do you mind?"

He understood the hint and left with the excuse that he was going to clear the table.

Duo approached his neighbor quietly. "Are you okay?"

He nodded. "What about you? I saw Trowa help you up. Did Marc hit you?"

"No. He just pushed me and I lost my balance." He rubbed the back of his head, which still hurt. His ass and his ego hurt too. "It seems you pack quite a punch. I had no idea."

"I told you. I let him beat me that one time. I could have defended myself. I decided not to. Everyone always thinks I'm weak." He grimaced.

"I'm glad you defended yourself this time." He added genuinely: "I don't think you're weak. I think you are one of the strongest people I know. You've been hurt so many times and you still dare to let people in. People oftentimes mistake kindness for weakness."

"I shouldn't have hit him."

"He deserved it."

"No, I mean…" He looked up sheepishly. "My hand hurts. He has a thick skull."

Duo let out a hearty laugh. He gave him a quick kiss and then reached for his hand to inspect it. "Maybe we should put some ice on it, just in case."

Heero nodded and allowed Duo to lead him back to the kitchen. He hopped onto the kitchen counter and the American retrieved a bag of frozen peas from the fridge that Heero kept for work-related injuries – like hitting your own thumb with a hammer, which had happened to Duo more times than he cared to admit over the past few months. He held the reddened hand tenderly and placed the cold, plastic bag on top. "Better?"

"Not until you kiss it better," He whispered in response.

Duo moved closer, standing between Heero's parted thighs. He placed his other hand on the back of the young man's neck and titled his head slightly so he could kiss him. They shared a passionate, open-mouthed kiss until Trowa came back into the kitchen and cleared him throat. Duo groaned and leaned his head against Heero's shoulder, causing him to chuckle.

"I should probably head home," He breathed against his shirt.

"Yeah. Go take a shower. You stink," Heero mocked.

Duo laughed and detached himself from his neighbor. "You too."

"Trowa, do you mind if I hit the shower first?"

The tall man shrugged. "Not at all. It's your house."

He jumped off the counter and said goodbye to Duo before heading upstairs.

"So…" Trowa started.

"So." Duo grabbed his vest which he had taken off and discarded on a kitchen chair earlier in the day, getting ready to leave.

"Getting rid of Marc turned out to be easier than I thought."

"I suppose so," He mused, although he had a feeling Marc would pop up again someday, maybe years later, once more claiming to be a reformed man. "Does that mean our alliance is over? Are you going to focus your energy on getting me out of the picture now?"

"You are mistaken if you still think I want the relationship between the two of you to fail. I want the opposite, but I think it's naive to expect that to be possible." Trowa gathered the leftover food and cartons in a plastic bag and tied it up before throwing into the bin, which he then effortlessly lifted up and carried outside to dump the contents into the trashcan.

Duo followed him, believing that was expected of him. But Trowa didn't say anything, so, instead, Duo dared to ask: "Why Quatre and not Heero?"

"Hm?"

"Why did you choose Quatre instead of Heero?"

"I love Quatre," He replied simply, "In a way in which I don't love Heero. It's not really up to us who we love. If it had been my decision, I would have decided not to fall in love with Quatre when Heero introduced us. At the time, I would have chosen Heero. We certainly seemed compatible enough. But there were never any sparks. I had sparks with Quatre. You can't control that." He looked at him meaningfully. "You should know that."

"I'm not sure yet if I love him, in the way you speak of."

Trowa snorted but said nothing.

"If there are sparks with Quatre and not with Heero, why did you continue to sleep with him?"

"If you're worried about Heero and I continuing our arrangement, I assure you, you shouldn't be. It's over."

He shook his head. "But why would you chose no-sparks when you have something with whom you do have sparks?"

He shrugged. "Quatre and I decided early on that we were going to have an open relationship. You see, for couples like us, being in an exclusive relationship is our equivalent to marriage. We are committed to each other and we openly love each other, the final rung of the ladder is being exclusive, the way marriage is the peak for most other couples. Deciding to be exclusive would have the same weight to it for us as proposing."

"I don't understand. Same-sex marriage is legal now, isn't it?"

"For as long as it will last…"

"You don't think it will?"

"Honestly? No. The laws will go back and forth a couple of times, I expect. But even if we did manage to stop Proposition 8, it will still be a long time until same-sex marriage is widely acknowledged and respected in the same way as a traditional marriage. If it's only a piece of paper, I don't need it. I would only want it if it actually meant what it is supposed to mean. If my parents would actually be able to congratulate me and all that. Until that happens, we have our decision to be exclusive or not. I wasn't ready for that yet, so I slept with Heero, because it was easy and nice and Quatre had his lovers on the side."

Duo smiled. "You're speaking in past tense."

The tall man stilled momentarily. "You're right." He seemed surprised.

"It seems like exclusivity is sneaking up on you."

He smirked and didn't say anything for a moment, quietly mulling it over. Then he asked: "What about you? What would be the height of a relationship for you?"

"I'm afraid that, as a traditionalist, I would always consider marriage as the ultimate bond between people. But I'm not sure if I will have that with Heero. Or anyone, for that matter." He looked off to the side.

"So what? You're going to let Heero go and grow old alone?"

"In case you've forgotten, I've already grown old." The joke was out of place and fell flat. He answered honestly, with a heavy heart: "Probably. I realize now that I am not capable of having a relationship with a woman that would deserve to be called a real marriage. But at the same time I also feel like I can't have a real marriage with a man, with Heero. I have all these feelings for him, feelings with a lot of potential, but it's hard to shake the idea that a marriage can only be real between a man and a woman, the way God intended it. If it's not the way God intended it, I imagine it to be void. The way you think it is meaningless if people, like your parents, don't acknowledge it." He groaned. "Am I making any sense?"

"Yes. For the first time, I feel like I might understand where you're coming from."

He smiled at the carpenter in gratitude. It was odd that he was being so candid with the man, who was still practically a stranger, but he wanted him to understand. He needed him to understand that it was not his intention to hurt Heero, or to deny him anything, but that he simply might not have a say in the matter. "Controlling your beliefs isn't much easier than controlling who you fall in love with."

"I'm actually not so sure about that, but I get it." His emerald eyes shone thoughtfully. "You can't let him go because of what you feel and yet you can't let him in because of what you know – or rather, what you think you know," He summed up neatly.

"It's quite the conundrum."

"That it is." He quipped but he smiled knowingly. "But it might get easier if you stop letting other people tell you what you should believe and figure it out for yourself." He picked up the bin and headed inside, halfheartedly saying his goodbye.

Duo released a deep sigh and went home. After a refreshing shower, he had another restless night ahead of him.

The next day was a Sunday and for the first time he went to the church sermon alone. He convinced Heero to stay home. Trowa was only in town for a single weekend and they had to get as much work done as possible. Heero agreed, but only because he clearly knew that wasn't really his reason and he didn't want to press. The young man was aware that, as much as he wanted to be of help, the religious man had to do some things by himself.

He sat in one of the pews all the way in the back and didn't really listen to the priest's words – although the man always managed to put an uplifting spin on his choice topics.

Duo questioned the meaning and the purpose of going to church. More and more he had started to realize as of late that the church and his belief were actually two separate entities. Different churches preached different interpretations of the religion, but he felt like none of their words could be trusted. Perhaps the answer to his conflict was not to find a different church, but instead cut out the middle-man and seek to gain his own understanding of the religion, rather than outsourcing that responsibility. After all, he didn't feel like he could dismiss his past, poisonous teachings on the basis that it was the interpretation of a handful of prejudiced individuals, without also questioning the validity of Djimon Essien's sermon's. Sure, his words were a soothing balm that were tempting to believe, but he shouldn't chose 'his truth' only because it was an easier truth. It was still 'his truth', Djimon Essien's truth, not Duo's truth. The challenge was to discover his own truth, form his own beliefs, like Trowa had suggested, but that was especially difficult when everything was muddled.

As he sat in the uncomfortable pew and the meeting came to an end, it dawned on him that religion was not the red yarn that he held onto in the dark tunnels. Religion was the light at the end of the tunnel, or it ought to be anyway. It couldn't be given to you, like a ball of yarn, no one could grasp it and bring it to you, you had to find it for yourself and gaze upon it for yourself.

The epiphany was as dazing as it was daunting.

After the service had ended and most of the church-goers had left the auditorium, Djimon approached Duo, who was still lost in his own thoughts. The man took a seat next to him.

"I'm surprised to you see you here without your neighbor."

The way the priest said the word 'neighbor', his lips curved into a knowing smile as he did, Duo could tell the man was no fool and had figured out there was something going on between the two of them.

"Is everything alright between the two of you?"

"He's just busy," Duo offered in reply. "Maybe next week he will be here without me. But I don't know. He likes your sermons, but I suspect he really only tags along for my benefit."

Djimon frowned. "I don't understand."

Duo apologized for his rambling and explained: "I've decided not to come back here."

"Oh." His response was mild. "Are you going back to your previous church?"

"Actually, I think it will be best for me to steer clear of churches for a while. There are some things I need to figure out for myself. If I don't do the legwork myself, I'll always wonder if the answers are truly mine, or merely suggestions whispered in my ear. I admire what you preach, but in the end it is just your interpretation of something so complex… I can't follow that blindly. I have to find my own path." He chuckled sheepishly and rubbed the back of his neck. "Exactly what you said in your first sermon, I realize."

He nodded and smiled. "We all have to find our own path. I respect that. I hope you will find your answers, Duo."

They both stood up and shook hands and Duo thanked him.

"Might I offer you one final piece of advice? To do with as you see fit?"

Duo stared at him and momentarily contemplated the offer before eventually shrugging. "Sure."

"I expect your plan of attack is to go back to the source material and to reread the Bible. I would just like to remind you that the Bible itself is merely an interpretation of our religion. As much as it pains most to acknowledge, the Holy book is a book like any other in the sense that it was written by people. Although I believe in its righteous intentions and in its ability to shepherd the lost, it does make the mistake of putting in black-on-white something that I doubt should be universal. Religion is too big, too complex and too personal. It's okay for religion to mean something different to every individual. In fact, I think it's supposed to. So I would warn you not to cling to its ancient words."

He paused to give Duo a moment to process and then he added: "I teach a class at the local high school and I start every year with two simple facts. First, religion is older than the Bible. And second, religion is younger than the Bible. With that, I mean to say that religion precedes the Bible. The Bible is not the foundation of religion, faith is the foundation, so if you want to go back to the start, go back to your faith, to what faith means to you. And to say religion is also younger than the Bible is not a contradiction. The Bible has gone through some changes over time, but it remains mostly the same, it is solidified. It grows old. Religion continues to evolve and change from person to person. It is reborn over and over, within each new soul. This evolution means improvement and enlightenment, but only if we acknowledge the first fact; that the Bible is not the foundation. Faith can stand on its own. It can be disentangled from old teachings and still be as true as it ever was."

The long-haired American was rendered silent for a moment as the man's words rang true. He had intended to scrutinize the Biblical texts based on the misbelief that it was the undeniable foundation of everything, but he realized that would have been a misguided approach and it wouldn't have gotten him anywhere. "Thank you, Father."

They shook hands and Djimon bid Duo good luck before waving him off.

Spurred on by the priest's encouragement, Duo was almost giddy with excitement and motivation. He was driven to rediscover his faith in a way that would allow him to put his everything into his relationship with Heero. He wanted to give the young man what he wanted, because he deserved it and he didn't want him to suffer any more heartache.

As he had solemnly promised Trowa; he had to try.

* * *

><p><strong>Once again I want to reiterate that I mean absolutely no offense with any reference to religion, church or the Bible in this story. The characters' views do not necessarily represent my own. <strong>

**I hope you enjoyed this super long chapter. Don't get used to chapters of this length, I suspect it was nothing but a fluke, but a welcome fluke I hope. The chapter is a little rushed at times, I fear, but it was the way the words happened and nothing was skipped. Cutting it into two chapters would have made it seem less rushed, but I wanted to give you a long chapter again for once. **

**I guesstimate that this story might have two or three chapters left (excluding a short epilogue). Yes, we are that close to the end, but don't make the mistake of thinking it is all easy-going from here to the end, I still have some drama coming up for you. **

**I'd love to hear your thoughts on the chapter and your predictions!**


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